Then I have a suggestion: KEEP THEM INSIDE YOUR FUCKING HOUSE.
(I should have warned you, the No-Cussin' Challenge is over and I'm like a crackhead who just scored a couple of rocks.)
I am posting this with the full awareness that at least a few Crazy Cat People are going to call me awful names and generally impugn my character. Bring it on, psychos, but please pay attention first.
To preface, in my city, there's a leash law. For dogs AND FOR CATS. Yes that's right. I looked it up on the city's official web site, and every dog AND CAT must be on a leash at all times, even in your own front yard. So technically, I am no more wrong for violating that rule than a cat owner would be. Ethically and practically, of course I am, because my dogs can be an actual danger to other animals or to people. I REALIZE THAT. Which is why 99.99% of the time, I don't let them out the front door without a leash.
From now on, it'll be 100% of the time, because I learned almost the hard way this morning that my neighbors are fucking idiots. I got up early and took the dogs in my car for a good romp at the park. When we got back home, I let them out of the car to walk the 10 feet to the front door, which we have done a thousand times before without incident because after walks, they're very tired and thirsty, and always tromp dutifully straight for the door.
Well, guess what was between my car and my front door this morning? A TINY KITTEN. And guess what Digger loves more than anything in the whole wide world? KILLING TINY CRITTERS. You're familiar with what he did to a possum. Let your mind ponder what he would do to a kitten. Yeah, I know. It's totally uncool. But do you know what else it is? VERY FUCKING NATURAL. He's a dog, for crissakes. He is a predatory carnivore. In light of that fact, I've spent a lot of time over the years training him to respond to me even when he's in predatory carnivore mode, such as when a kitten is in his path, but people, there is only so much I can do. He's 12 years old, 90% deaf, and very fucking cranky.
So yeah, he got the kitten.
But don't freak out on me yet. He got the kitten in his mouth but by the graces of all that is holy in the universe, some deep part of his brain heard the tone of my voice before he delivered the kitten-crushing Chomp of Death. I probably woke the whole neighborhood up (it was about 6:45 a.m.): DIGGER NO! DIGGER NO! DIGGAAAHHHH!!! NOOO!!!!!! He dropped the kitten and it ran away uninjured.
At which point, of course, Sunny gave chase. But Sunny is a different dog; she doesn't so much want to kill critters as play with them, and she's not as committed to the task. So she only made it a few steps before responding nicely to the kick I planted on her chubby buttocks, and the kitten got away. THANK YOU BABY JESUS. Seriously. I don't even believe in Jesus but when I saw the kitten wasn't injured, I actually looked up at the sky and said thank you.
Not least of which is because I don't want my dogs to be "arrested" for kitten-killin'. But also because I really do care about innocent animals, and I've had plenty of cats in my life, and I know how awful it is when they're killed by any means. I DO NOT WANT my dogs to hurt cats, I really don't. Which, again, is why I spend a lot of time and energy bonding with them and training them to listen to me.
So you may be wondering how it was that a kitten was on my doorstep. The answer is, like I mentioned above, my neighbors are fucking fools. They have an adult cat and a few kittens that they let run free by means of keeping their garage door raised about 4 inches. The cats come and go at all hours, lurking around my front door and my fences, driving my dogs insane with blood lust. The adult cat has even taunted them by perching on top of the fence between the yards; but I fixed that problem by throwing rocks at the fence just below the cat, whereupon the cat launched several feet vertically into the air and over into its own yard, and thereby scaring the shit out of it for good.
Anyway, here is my point. I may have control over my dogs, but here's a newsflash for ya, not every dog owner does. Not only that, but there are stray dogs ALL OVER the place around here. Almost every evening when I walk Sunny, we encounter at least one loose dog, just running around pell-mell. Some of them have collars and probably escaped from their yards, but others are true strays. Either way, Digger isn't the only canine who might like to snack on a tasty kitten, and thus anyone who lives anywhere near here and has eyes to see the various loose dogs is just ASKING FOR IT if they let their cats run free. Seriously, you may as well dip your cat in raw ground beef and throw it over the fence at the dog park. Buh-bye, kitteh.
And you know, I just may have let Digger have that kitten this morning if I didn't know the neighbors have two little girls who love their cats. Adults don't deserve to own pets if they can't take proper care of them, and besides, it's the circle of life and there's nothing truly morally wrong with my dog eating a cat. Really - prove otherwise. I love it when someone WHO EATS MEAT tries to argue this point with me. Unless you live your life without ever causing the death of any animals, you can't possibly offer one logical reason why it's inherently WRONG for Digger to kill a cat, which by the way he has never done - only possums. Which brings up another interesting argument, which is when people have absolutely no problem at all with a dog killing a "wild" animal but go into moralistic convulsions when a dog kills a domestic cat. What's the difference? In my mind, the ONLY difference is that the death of the kitten would have caused emotional distress for the children next door. So no kitten breakfast for Digger.
Anyway. I know many of you have cats that you love, so please take my advice and keep them safe inside. Even well-behaved/trained dogs like Digger want to eat your cats, and believe me, it doesn't take much of a bite to kill a domestic housecat. And don't even try to trick yourself into thinking that your cat will "show that dog who's boss" or will be able to put up any kind of meaningful fight even if it has claws. That's just silly.
Digger once got into a fight with a clawed cat, about six years ago. It was what I believe to be a true stray, and it was a huge male WITH HIS NUTS. In other words, far tougher, meaner, and stronger than most of the cats you all have. I hate to break it to ya, but guess who won that fight? It wasn't Mr. Whiskersnuffles. He and Digger went at it full-bore for at least two minutes, all over the side yard. The cat would stand up on his hind legs and hiss ferociously, Digger would bark and growl at it and charge, and the cat would go into classic psycho-cat-mode, all teeth and claws and hissing, right in Digger's face, and let me tell you, Digger's reaction bore absolutely no resemblance to the dogs in all those cute videos on TV or YouTube, dogs that turn tail and run at the first sign of aggression from a precious little kitty. (You only see those videos because they're funny and nothing but the dog's dignity is injured. Don't be fooled by that shit, people!) Rather, he simply determined that if he didn't get the cat at the correct angle between his jaws, it would scratch his face, which he found mildly unpleasant. Certainly not unpleasant enough to give up the fight; in fact, it mostly seemed to just piss him off even more. He fucked that cat up pretty bad before my ex came running (he'd accidentally left the fence unlatched and Digger had briefly escaped - believe me it never happened again), and grabbed Digger by the neck and literally lifted him off the ground and forced him to release the cat. I'd only known Digger for a few months at the time and he would not listen to me yet; he required manhandling.
It was that incident that made me determined to learn how to control these beasts, because I realized how quickly they will change from a sweet adoring mutt who'd never hurt a fly into a snarling killing machine with a taste for feline blood.
All right. I hope I've made my point. Honestly, I'm trying to help here, trying to let the cat people know the peril their babies are in when they're out loose.
And I swear to God, if one person even TRIES to accuse me of being an irresponsible dog owner, I will lose it. Digger's been on Earth for 12 years and he has precisely TWICE had a cat in his mouth, neither of which died, because he was stopped by one of his owners. Pretty remarkable, actually. It bears repeating: dogs are predators and they like to kill small animals. It's just how they roll. Controlling that urge is a monumental task for the dog and his owner, but it can be done, IF the dog owner bothers trying. Which many don't.
And that ends today's public service announcement.

Comments (43)
Amen.
My dog, Bridgette, had two cats of her own for many years (I had them before we found the dog; they were all strays). Bridgette liked nothing better than chasing her cats pell-mell around the house. SHe never hurt them, probably becasue she was a little tyke when we found her and the cats were bigger than she was, I don't thin she ever figured out she outweighed them by 50 lbs.
HOWEVER
If she came upon a cat in the yard or while we were on a walk (on her leash, of course), she instantly went into Full. Predator. Mode. and wanted to rip them limb from limb.
It's just a dog thing.
In my suburban ATL neighborhood, there have been coyote sighting all around, yet many of my neighbors still let their precious wittle kitties run loose.
You'd think all the posters looking for lost cats would clue them in, but NOOOOOOOOOO.
Posted by Zarba
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June 15, 2007 8:03 AM
Posted on June 15, 2007 08:03
The thing about cat people that bothers me is they don't realize its their fault that kittens are dying and that the sweet puppies are just doing gods work.
You'd think crazy cat lady would realize that every time she masturbates god kills a kitten. Now theres lots of ways of killin' kittens, but dogs are pretty efficient. I mean think about it, if dogs weren't doing their job, it'd be left to herds of rabid chipmunks and well that just wouldn't be very efficient.
So crazy cat people, find some other way to pass the time in your parents basement.
Posted by phineas g.
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June 15, 2007 8:28 AM
Posted on June 15, 2007 08:28
A neighbor of mine likes to let their cat out whenever he gets close to the back door - they think they're being nice to him, and since he enjoys being outside, I'd be inclined to agree with them. However, this cat's not the sharpest tool in the box, and has a tendency to get into things and wander off into the woods behind the house (as cats do) for extended periods of time. He got attacked by some sort of wildcat (bobcat? we think?) and nearly had his throat torn open several months ago. After he healed and stopped being so neurotic that he wouldn't even approach people, the neighbors started letting him out again whenever he wanted. They live in a rural area right next to a two-lane highway. *headdesk* And the bobcat? Still at large.
Posted by Bonnie B.
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June 15, 2007 8:45 AM
Posted on June 15, 2007 08:45
I'll keep my cats indoors when my neighbor stops feeding her dogs outside. We get horrible rats, and my cats are the only thing that prevents them from taking over. Spring is especially fun, and I've found a rat-a-day on my driveway.
I would never let a kitten outside, though.
I really only have cats for rodent control. {shudder}. I'm more of a dog person.
Posted by carin
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June 15, 2007 8:51 AM
Posted on June 15, 2007 08:51
In our vet's office there is a wall chart on again and life expectancies for dogs and cats. A cat kept indoors can be expected to hang around 17 years or so. An outdoor cat, on the other hand, has a life expectancy around 5. I cannot think of a human activity, except perhaps heroin addiction, that has as drastic an effect on a population's long-term survival odds as the simple act of letting your cat out the door.
Posted by HT
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June 15, 2007 9:04 AM
Posted on June 15, 2007 09:04
Im going to have to go ahead and disagree with you on this one.
Its mean to keep cats locked up inside, my cat wants to be outside chasing mice, lounging in the sun, or mauling the cat-nip plant in the garden. If he gets killed, well, thats just natural selection i guess, but im not going to punish my cat because some people have dumb slow pets. (note, i didn't let him outside when he was dumb and slow, ie. a kitten)
I think my cat is pretty safe, he always manages to elude my dog, who (no offense) is a lot faster then digger, or any of the other (fat) dogs in my neigborhood.
Posted by btfine
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June 15, 2007 9:07 AM
Posted on June 15, 2007 09:07
I imagine the life expectancy for the rats would go up too if I left my cats indoors.
As far as animal attacks - my dog (a German shepherd) has been attacked by pit bulls, rottweilers, and various other big dogs - while I was walking her on a leash.
People should control their dogs.
Posted by carin
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June 15, 2007 9:15 AM
Posted on June 15, 2007 09:15
I don't think the issue is with your dogs. If you let your cats outside, you're subjecting them to dogs, cars, diseases, wild animals, psychos who like hurting furry things, and anyone who needs a pet.
You wouldn't leave your clothes or ipod or jewelry outside in the yard, where it could get destroyed or stolen. Why leave an animal out there?
(That said, my neighbors' cat(s) keep the mouse/squirrel/rabbit population down in my yard pretty well, until they invariably get flattened in the road.)
Posted by Tanya
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June 15, 2007 9:18 AM
Posted on June 15, 2007 09:18
As a crazy cat lady, I have to agree with Rachel on this one. I keep my cats inside, and not just because of the dogs in the neighborhood. Dogs aren't the only things that are hazardous to a cat’s health. There are cars, wild animals and just evil people who like nothing better than torture and maim cute furry animals. When I was growing up we had a neighbor that used to feed poison to cats and dogs and nearly killed our black lab. (sick bastard.)
Our neighbor wasn’t as smart and lost one of her cats to a car and another one was accidentally towed away to a junk yard because he was snoozing in the flatbed of a truck – never to be seen again. She has since learned her lesson and only lets the newest cat of the family out when on a leash.
Go ahead and let your cat out, just don't be suprised when he/she doesn't come back or shows up dead in your yard someday.
Posted by Ethne
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June 15, 2007 9:23 AM
Posted on June 15, 2007 09:23
I used to keep my dogs in the kitchen at night which had a sliding glass door. Right outside the door was a fenced-in deck, and my neighbor's cat used to come and sit on the fence just outside the door where my dogs could 1)see it and 2) go completely berserk trying to get at it through the glass door.
I must say I was not entirely unhappy when an SUV made a frisbee-kitty out of it.
Posted by Sparrow
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June 15, 2007 10:19 AM
Posted on June 15, 2007 10:19
Eh, the only issue I have with what you wrote was calling the cat "innocent." Watch that cat with a mouse or a bird some time, and then see how innocent it is. :-)
Posted by Kensington
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June 15, 2007 11:12 AM
Posted on June 15, 2007 11:12
It always makes me laugh at how much damage a simple, cute, movie - Bambi - did to the American understanding of wildlife. My kids were initially astonished that our cats would kill birds and lizards for fun. I guess they thought they would all come together and sing a song! Now they know better.
Posted by anotheKevin
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June 15, 2007 11:15 AM
Posted on June 15, 2007 11:15
I want to know more about the stray, "huge male WITH HIS NUTS". What would you say was the degree of doggy respect (kitty injuries)Mr. Whiskersnuffles earned that day?
Posted by tedders
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June 15, 2007 11:16 AM
Posted on June 15, 2007 11:16
Poor little kitten. I love kittens and cats - but I am a full fledged doggy person now. We used to have three cats and two dogs (pre-puppy) ... all cats were indoors and the two dogs didn't ever draw blood. But there were a lot of chases.
I always shut the screen door so the cats couldn't get outside but one night my favorite tabby managed to wiggle the door open. And he is lost forever to the circle of life. We found his fur. And that's it. He became dinner for some hungry wild animal. And I cried for weeks.
My other two cats are now stuck full time in our garage. They have lots of water and food and places to sleep (no cars) and I visit them every day. But they can't be inside the house with the puppy who very much listens to his prey instincts.
He killed four Jays in 24 hours. Our other dog is very patient and HUNTS the squirrels, which I find hilarious. I hate the squirrels. So she is our squirrel hunter/killer. It's what dogs DO! Especially certain breeds.
I'm very glad that Digger listened to you and dropped the kitten. That would have been a much less funny post to read if the outcome had been otherwise.
Posted by CastoCreations
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June 15, 2007 12:22 PM
Posted on June 15, 2007 12:22
I'm a cat and dog person, and my cats do not go outside ever. They're happy, and I'm happy.
Posted by Ith
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June 15, 2007 12:54 PM
Posted on June 15, 2007 12:54
Yeah, I don't have a huge problem with dog v. cat because I have seen what cat v. anything-smaller-than-cat looks like. It is bad enough that cats will not only kill but torture for fun, but they do it in ways that are inconvenient for me. (Like carrying the bird into my shower where it can't get away as easily. While it is very alive and very paniced.) Yeah, my cat ran outside for a while (was still living with my parents and they had a dog-door and dogs). I knew the risks.
He could be eaten by a dog if he was stupid enough to get in its yard. He could get hit by a car if he was stupid enough to get in the road. He could be killed by another cat if he was stupid enough to try to fight another tom bigger than him. Luckily, my cat was smart enough. (Even smart enough to lead the other toms back to his yard, where his two snarling-cat eaters that he happened to have befriended for survival purposes lived.)
Now, I am in an apartment, and since I don't think he should be taking those risks anymore, he stays inside. He shouldn't have taken them before, and I have invested the money to have his balls removed now that he is good and muscley. (I hate effeminate looking male cats and dogs.)
And yeah, cats are consumate teasers. That is the whole torture thing. It isn't enough to kill the bird or mouse or whatever. The cat has to make it think that it has a chance to get away.
Posted by Phelps
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June 15, 2007 12:56 PM
Posted on June 15, 2007 12:56
I think it is great that y'all keep your cats/dogs on a leash in your house. Yeah I am that guy that does not have a dog in this fight (hahahaha)because I do not own any animals.
I am the guy next door that really doesn't like four legged animals. I really don't appreciate cleaning dog poop off my kids' shoes when my kids are playing IN MY YARD.
As a non-pet owner is it too much to ask of pet owners to keep their animals out of my yard? Try asking a dog owner to please refrain from letting their dog sniff around my yard and they get so indignant. You would think that I asked them to do something repulsive like having their children play in dog poo or something....
Posted by Olajuwon
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June 15, 2007 12:58 PM
Posted on June 15, 2007 12:58
As a cat owner and even a former dog owner, I completely agree with you. I will not let my cat go outside unsupervised and often without her leash, (and oh how others have made fun of THAT!) because I love her and I KNOW that there are stray dogs, crappy dog owners, cars, etc. and she could get in to a whole mess of trouble. Not only that, why should my irresponsibility possibly cause someone else to have a shitty day because they hit my cat with their car or their dog ate my cat or something? We are there to protect our animals and we, who have pets, MUST remember that while they are our cute little pets, they are still ANIMALS and animals will do what animals do. And sometimes that means that dogs will eat other animals and cats will allow their curiosity to get the better of them.
I go ballistic when people who have animals for pets do not understand the first damn thing about their pets. Yes, Fluffy is adorable but FLUFFY IS A DOG AND DOGS LIKE TO HUNT AND KILL THINGS! They are always, first and foremost, DOGS and the humans are at fault for expecting a dog or cat or whatever animal to act like a human child.
Actually, I'll just stop here or I'll take up your entire bandwidth on my soap box. GARRRROWL sometimes humans piss me off!!!!
So...in summary: You are 100% correct and hopefully all who read will pass it on to all the idiots out there.
Posted by Serenity
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June 15, 2007 1:12 PM
Posted on June 15, 2007 13:12
Sigh...I just re-read my comment and I guess I better clarify lest anyone think I'm calling them an idiot. Two thought processes going on at the same time make for crappy commenting:
Idiots refers to those who think their dogs and cats are human.
I don't think people who let their cats out are idiots...but I do think they should not be surpised if kitty doesn't come home one day. Further, when I worked at a vet clinic some years back, we had the debate over whether it was "cruel" to keep a cat indoors. It is not cruel because they adapt to indoor life. Yes, they may wish to go out and hunt and kill birds, mice, lizards etc and there can be arguments over "quality" vs "quantity" of life....the end result was that just because the cat WANTS to do those things doesn't mean it's cruel not to allow them to do those things. Dogs want to do all sorts of things as well but we don't always allow them to do whatever they want for their own safety.
Ok, hopefully I cleared up my poorly written comment above.
Posted by Serenity
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June 15, 2007 1:24 PM
Posted on June 15, 2007 13:24
Well, Maine Coon Owners dont have to worry about some cat killing thug dog. I saw what looked like a 27-28 lb Maine Coon in good condition scare the living demon out of 50 lb dalmatian. (just some angy hissing is all it took) Also they're too furry and have very loose sking which is difficult for Mr Canine to deliver a descisive bite.
Maine Coon, Varmint Killer, Boss of any cattery.
Posted by Admiral_Ritt
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June 15, 2007 1:29 PM
Posted on June 15, 2007 13:29
Folks, it comes down to this: If you have a pet that needs to go out in your yard without a leash, then you have to put a fence around your yard. This applies even if you don't have neighbors whose pets might eat yours. My parents bit the bullet and fenced their yard after losing three dogs to passing cars.
It's a dangerous world, and you can't keep your pets safe unless you can control their movements. That means a leash, a fence, or keeping them indoors 24/7.
Posted by Pat Berry
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June 15, 2007 2:22 PM
Posted on June 15, 2007 14:22
I'm a cat person more than I am a dog person, and I agree 100%. Growing up with my mother was pure frustration because she refused to make the effort to keep cats in, so my cats kept dying because she couldn't be bothered to sit through a little plaintive yowling. Always acted like it was an Act of God rather than something her irresponsibility had anything to do with when one of them got poisoned/killed by dog/run over too.
One reason to keep my cat in is I'm not a jerk. Loose cats drive neighbors up the wall- they shit in other people's yards, drive their dogs crazy, scratch stuff, dig in gardens, sometimes spray, howl when there's a female in season anywhere nearby, and other bullshit. My right to keep the rodents down (which the local bull snakes do fine) does not trump someone else's to not have to deal with MY pet. If I lived on a farm and my nearest neighbor was a mile or more away it'd be different, but I DON'T.
Posted by LabRat
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June 15, 2007 2:24 PM
Posted on June 15, 2007 14:24
Serenity...I think your comments made perfect sense. My hubby and I treat our dogs like people sometimes but we do realize (deep, deep down) that they are ANIMALS and can't be reasoned with. No matter how nicely we ask our 10 month old Malamute to NOT bite the kitties... it's just his nature. :) lol
The worst thing is when you ARE responsible "parents" and something unexpected happens. We took the dogs in the truck for a walk at a nearby trail where the entrance as on the side of a busy road. We were putting the leashes on when puppy boy jumped OVER my shoulder, over the closed back gate of the truck and onto the road. We screamed like two people have never screamed and started running after him - I'm sure we looked insane. Thank God I noticed cars slowing down or I may have jumped into traffic to stop them because I had no idea what direction he was headed. Luckily he got a little nervous like "what the heck? I'm free. Now what?" and we grabbed him. And we are responsible "parents" with our dogs. Things happen.
Posted by CastoCreations
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June 15, 2007 2:52 PM
Posted on June 15, 2007 14:52
I've had cats my whole life. I have four now. When I was a kid and the decision wasn't mine, our cats were outdoor cats. Fights, car accidents, disease...none of them died peacefully in old age.
Now that I decide, all my cats are indoor cats, and they all live long, healthy lives. Only one of my cats in the last twenty years has demonstrated a desire to go out, and even then he's afraid to leave the porch. Most of them are scared of the front door just being open.
Cruel to keep them in? That's just stupid. If you want YOUR pet full of fleas, disease, dodging cars, neighbors, dogs and who knows what else, as well as being hounded by animal control, then you enjoy that. Me? I'll be petting my healthy, long-lived indoor cats.
Posted by JimK
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June 15, 2007 3:03 PM
Posted on June 15, 2007 15:03
Rachel, you asked -- nay, DARED -- someone to defend the viewpoint that killing a kitten was morally wrong for your doggy while killing a possum was sad-but-okay. It brought to mind Jack London rationale -- cats have agreed to be domesticated so they get our protection, possums don't. I don't see any possums purring, running to greet me when I get home or playing fetch with me. However, far more serious is this -- KITTENS ARE CUTE AND CUDDLY SO WE LOVE THEM AND IF YOU LET THEM DIE WE WON'T CLICK ON YOUR BLOG ADS EVER EVER EVER!! :) Seriously, we appreciate your being a responsible dog owner -- those little girls thank you, and so do we
Posted by Lissa
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June 15, 2007 4:26 PM
Posted on June 15, 2007 16:26
Honestly both groups can be highly annoying.
Yes - I am an animal lover and do own pets. But cat and dog owner gangs are super funny.
Even my own neighbors - who all own dogs -bitch about each others dogs. You'd think they'd have some dog solidarity. I personally don't think either group has the moral high ground. Cats and dogs are constantly shitting in my yard. Every time I mow the lawn I have to go on a shit recon. So by nature you take your dog to the park is big points in my mind.
5 times in one month my neighbors dog decided it wanted to live at my house and jumped the fence. Then howled like crazy until the neighbor picked him up. All 5 times.
People who have outdoor pets know the likelihood that someone will run them over..so your dog chewing one up doesn't add to the risk that much. It only causes you to experience guilt. Which is really the more inconsiderate side of outdoor pets.
Posted by she_said
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June 15, 2007 4:52 PM
Posted on June 15, 2007 16:52
Even a fence is no guarantee. A neighbor had (emphasis on "had") a Bull Mastiff. Her yard was enclosed with your standard 4 feet high chain link fence.
I was pushing my 18 mo old in a stroller when the dog came bounding over the fence, with ease I might add, and ran at us full stride growling with teeth bared. Luckily just as the dog had advanced within a couple of feet of us the neighbor came outside and called the dog back into her house. When I asked her why she thought that the fence was adequate to restrain a dog that size she insinuated that I was the cause of the problem.
A couple of weeks later, and much wiser, I was once again out with my son when the dog leaped the fence and charged us, I pulled out the aluminum bat I had placed in the stroller and proceeded to drop him like a ton of bricks.
Posted by tolbert
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June 15, 2007 5:32 PM
Posted on June 15, 2007 17:32
Dogs aren't carnivores, they're omnivores.
WRONG!
Dogs aren't omnivores, they're scavengers.
The only thing my dog won't outright eat is an olive. And having eaten one chili tepine, he refused a subsequent one.
Primer: Carnivores eat meat. Omnivores eat meat and vegetables. Scavengers eat meat, spoiled meat, vegetables, spoiled vegetables, and other critter's shit. Exception: Pigs will eat anything a scavenger will eat, and pick at their own shit. They get a category all their own...it just hasn't been named.
Okay...you caught me! There's also the carrion eaters. They're pretty much the in the spoiled meat-eating only group. Yet another category. Well, I quit...I'm not coming up with any more categories. Feel free, amuse yourself, invent your own categories--I quit.
Posted by Beldar
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June 15, 2007 5:33 PM
Posted on June 15, 2007 17:33
Our suburban neighborhood (Austin,TX) used to have a menagerie of cats, dogs, coons, rats, ground squirrels, and even domesticated bunnies roaming the hillsides. That is until about a year ago when we heard rumors of coyote sightings (confirmed when a young coyote trotted across the street in front of our car on its way to the greenbelt).
We still have deer (although not as many)and tree squirrels, but that's about all. I have mixed feelings about the coyotes, but I don't miss the strays, or the coons, or the rats.
Posted by capitano
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June 15, 2007 6:32 PM
Posted on June 15, 2007 18:32
God dammit Rachel! You have got to warn people when you are gonna do something as cruel as that. I saw that picture at the end of your piece, and started laughing so frigging hard, the bit of unfinished hotdog I was still working on, shot out of my nose and it F'ing hurt! Ketchup, Mustard, Relish and Ball Park Frank the size of a Nickel just burnt the crap out of my septum, and I still can't find the piece of hotdog. I just literally got done choking enough to write. Screw the kitties, I need an ambulance......
Have fun ;)!
Posted by Brian_Thorn
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June 15, 2007 6:36 PM
Posted on June 15, 2007 18:36
Well I didn't expel any dinner, but my fear is that my wife might see that furry little darling and start pleading for one -- in which case I'll just remind her of all the baby ducks and rabbits we've got living out back these days. Maybe that'll shut her up -- until next time. Problem is, said wildlife won't let her cuddle them.
Posted by FozzieBear
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June 15, 2007 9:17 PM
Posted on June 15, 2007 21:17
I agree 100% with you, Rachel.
About three weeks ago I rescued a kitten (she's nearly six months old, I think) who had been abandoned when her owners moved away. Her ribs and hipbones were sticking out.
I can't say no to a starving animal, so I took her in. Now I need to find a forever home for her. She chases my other cats around, and the landlady will raise my rent soon if she stays much longer. That said, she's a great kitty... she is very talky and cuddly.
She was grateful to be rescued for about a week or two; now she acts like she owns the place.
She's built long and thin, with a cute little face. She's solid gray in color and medium-haired. Her nose leather is dark gray. Her eyes are yellow with some green in them. The short hairs on her muzzle and feet look metallic. She's actually quite pretty.
If any of you are in Southern California and you would like a free kitten, e-mail me at pbmaltzman@yahoo.com. I'm willing to deliver her in person, along with some of the food I've been feeding her. She's been gaining weight and growing. She will need to be spayed soon.
Posted by pbmaltzman
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June 15, 2007 9:54 PM
Posted on June 15, 2007 21:54
This morning I heard a news item on the radio that animal control officials in Bristol, PA are looking for a 9-10 foot python or boa constrictor, probably an escaped pet, that has been sighted several times in people's yards and which has eaten at least three cats.
Posted by rickl
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June 15, 2007 10:31 PM
Posted on June 15, 2007 22:31
Hear, hear. I'm a cat owner and lover and my babies stay INSIDE. I drive a delivery truck for a living and have mowed down far to many pets. The worst was when I ran over about 5 kittens who were crossing the highway at the same time. That made me cry for about an hour.
And I've got a co-worker who was upset a few weeks ago because one of his dogs killed a kitten that got into his yard. It's like being upset that water's wet or the sun's bright, it's what dogs do!
Posted by nightwitch
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June 15, 2007 11:06 PM
Posted on June 15, 2007 23:06
I keep my cats indoors. When I adopted them as kittens, I lived on a busy street and saw far too many animals, both wild and domestic, dead in the road. Even though I've since moved, I still keep them inside. They live longer that way.
On the other hand, I only have them because my irresponsible neighbor let her cat run around outside and didn't bother to have her spayed. Hence, kittens.
The same neighbor had already lost a previous cat to a car in the road. Then she got a beautiful, very affectionate big black dog. I don't know what kind it was.
One night as I was outside in the yard with my telescope, the dog accidentally got loose. She was running around and around, drunk with newfound freedom. The woman and her two young daughters went outside calling for her. As they stood at the end of the driveway, the dog darted into the road and was killed by a pickup truck. RIGHT IN FRONT OF THEM.
I can still hear those little girls' screams to this day.
Posted by rickl
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June 15, 2007 11:13 PM
Posted on June 15, 2007 23:13
Here's another reason to keep your cats inside. Warning: its long and sad.
We had two cats, both of them indoor cats, best friends. They'd sleep in a pile, chase and bat at each other for fun, groom each other...typical cute cat stuff. The old one was about five years old; the young one, about two. We loved them both.
I saw this happen with my own eyes. My wife and I are in the kitchen and the two cats are lounging in our kitchen bay window, just checking out the back yard as usual. Suddenly we hear the most horrible cat shriek -- banshee-like. Not a growl, but literal shrieking, only higher-pitched than a human could manage.
Both cats start jumping at the window, shrieking and howling. Then they both jump off the bay window and run to my office window, jumping and howling. Then, in a cat-blur, back to the bay window. We look outside and see some stray cat hissing and freaking out outside, running back and forth between the two windows.
The stray cat runs away. But somehow, in the ten seconds that it took for this to happen, the young cat lost its mind. The terror from the stray cat somehow got imprinted on his best buddy, the older cat. And now the fight was on between the old cat and the young one.
http://www.sniksnak.com/cathealth/aggression3.html
Hissing, spitting, peeing, arched-backs and hair standing on end. In the young cat's mind, his best friend was now his mortal enemy and he was going to kill him.
We were there, so we separated them, but it wasn't easy. From that point on, each cat had to live in a separate part of the house. Over the next three months, we tried everything to get the cats back together. We put pictures of the other cat next to the each's feeding bowl and kitty pan. We bought separate cages and tried to bring them together in the same room. We even recorded the purr of one and played it for the other. Nothing worked.
The closest we got was to have each cat on opposite sides of a closed door. They would bat at each other playfully under the door.
One time we got them in the same room, out of cages, and they started to cautiously play...but with each touch the younger cat would get more freaked out and within a few seconds it escalated from friendly play to screeching and pissing (yes, the little cat would shoot a three-foot stream of piss when sufficiently scared).
We basically resigned ourselves to living with separated cats -- the little one locked in our bedroom and bathroom. But it got worse.
My daughter came home from college to visit and the little cat tried to attack her. Ultimately, the cat tried to attack my wife.
Now my wife could do anything with these cats. She was the alpha-cat in the house -- she could trim their nails, shove pills down their throat, tear dead skin off their pads, squeeze those gross glands on their butt that make them drag their butts across the floor...you name it. The cats knew who was boss. When the little cat literally cornered my wife in the bedroom, it was obvious that we couldn't live like this anymore.
At this point, I was the only person in the house who could be in the same room as that cat.
The little cat happened to be scheduled for shots at the vet the following Monday. I called and let the vet know we'd be coming but we had to change the shot.
It was awful, but the cat was nuts. If it weren't for that fucking cat that somebody let loose, Tilly would still be a cute, playful part of our family today. But he's not.
jp
Posted by jerpod
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June 15, 2007 11:59 PM
Posted on June 15, 2007 23:59
Heh. Not only do I let my cats hang out outside, I have a cat door, so they can exit when they please (and the neighbor cats enter at will and eat my food).
My neighborhood is safely away from busy streets or wild areas. My backyard has six-foot fences but with various planks missing.
I don't worry about the cats because they're too chicken to get anywhere near a road. They won't go into the front yard unless I'm there, and one of the cats won't go outside at all unless I'm there or the larger male is with her.
The larger male is a wuss, though, and spends most of his time in my backyard. The neighbor's cat is his doppelganger (both are standard-issue black cats) and they hang out together rather than fight.
The neighbors on both sides have dogs, but they're fenced in with six-foot fences and are never allowed out. There's a small gap under one fence, and the black kitty likes to sit there and torment the dogs with his presence. Stray dogs almost never roam the neighborhood.
I've had him for about 5 years, and I doubt he'll be flattened or eaten any time soon. But I realize that I've got a good situation and YMMV.
Posted by dicentra
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June 16, 2007 1:04 AM
Posted on June 16, 2007 01:04
Cats are easily the worst among domestic pets when it comes to displacement aggression. The most seemingly innocuous things can cause a well-adjusted pet to start into a spiral of self-reinforcing fear and aggression that makes NO SENSE from an outside perspective- it's one of the reasons I think using meds to treat psych problems in pets isn't insane. I'm pretty sure it's because they're only barely social animals to begin with.
On dogs- even the most responsible dog owners will have episodes where their dogs get out. It happened to us a few weeks ago; somebody made a mistake, the dog got loose, and he was headed straight for the road at speed when my husband roared "SIT!"- and he OBEYED. In that single moment two years of training him around distracting things paid off. He'll still never win an obedience competition- he's too smart, and knows when we don't have the Power of the Leash- but the basic drilling that made his ears work even when insane with freedom was the one of the most valuable things we have ever spent time on.
Posted by LabRat
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June 16, 2007 1:06 AM
Posted on June 16, 2007 01:06
Dora, the newspaper delivery lady - we get the morning local - has related seeing coyotes coming down the streets of our neighborhood more than once with Mr or Mrs Whiskersnuffles and/or Fluffers the Widdle Poodle in it's mouth quite limp and dead. Mama coyote was headed off to the den with breakfast for her litter. We live in the middle of a Southwestern city but there is a connection to the National Forest east of town via a large drainage arroyo. The neighborhood cats use my front yard as their pesonal litter box (it stinks when it rains) as the wife bought crusher fines to line the front yard (we are in the desert and xeriscape is the way to go). All the nice little kitties saw that as the planets biggest litter box.
I have absolutely NO sympathy for the people with ID 10T errors in their operating systems who will let their pets run free then act outraged when the local fauna view Whiskers or Fluffers as dinner. I am just ornery enough to get a kick out of it. Keep your pets at home. Your home, not mine.
Posted by Robohobo
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June 16, 2007 1:56 AM
Posted on June 16, 2007 01:56
Okay, just so you know I'm not a dog hater, I have 2 dogs. They're never off the leash or out of the chain link kennel when they're outside. If one of them ever killed — or even tried to kill — a cat, I would beat the sh*t out of them. Dogs can learn that domestic cats are excluded from the list of prey.
I live in Montana on about 3 acres and we have different rules here. For one thing, we don't fence our yards. I have 2 'working' cats that live outdoors year round. (They prefer it.) They keep my yard free of vermin and leave little mousie-treats by my door. They have a small igloo-style doghouse with a heater in it for the winter months. By the way, we kept them inside as kittens and didn't let them out on their own until they knew the ropes. They're about 8 years old now, very happy and healthy, and very smart. They know to stay away from dogs (as well as the various raccoons, hawks, foxes, coyotes, skunks, and bears that regularly pass through our yard.)
Because we live a couple of miles beyond the city limits, a lot of folks who live in our neighborhood think the leash laws don't apply here (they do) and let their (idiot) Labrador and golden retrievers run around the neighborhood at will. My dogs are trained to 'get busy' in an area of the yard reserved as the dog toilet. The neighbors' dogs poop all over my grass. They chase my cats. They are pests. I'm not mean to them, and simply tell them to go home firmly until they leave, because it's the owners who are at fault. The ones who really get me are dog owners who think it's kinda cute the way Fido chases and kills cats.
PS—In your case, Rachel, the neighbors are obviously idiots.
Posted by gd
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June 16, 2007 2:01 AM
Posted on June 16, 2007 02:01
I agree on all points 100%
What I wanna know is, how in the world did they ever manage to get that baby cat to stand still long enough to take that picture!?!?
-Me
Posted by Hardliner
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June 16, 2007 3:08 AM
Posted on June 16, 2007 03:08
A few short stories:
At my old house, the neighbors' dogs, Tango and Cash, would jump the fence and run around in our back yard. I would yell at them, and they would have the temerity to bark at me, but then they would jump back home. Every once in a while they would leave "gifts" in our yard. I would just scoop them up and toss them back in their yard.
Our cat, Sneaker, has been loose outside a couple of times. both times he hid under bushes next to the house until we found him. He does love to sit next to open (but screened) windows and doors and watch the birds, rabbits, and bugs. He even acts like he wants to chase them, going from window to window to follow them.
Finally, just this morning I saw someone out walking a black cat on a leash. It looked very strange, but very cute, and the cat seemed to deal with it just fine.
Posted by JohnnyD
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June 16, 2007 11:35 PM
Posted on June 16, 2007 23:35
If I ever get to live in the boonies, I will probably let my cats run loose a little bit. If I leave California for cheaper suburbs elsewhere, I'm going to get my own house before I croak, and I will have either special cat fencing for the back yard, or I will have built a cat enclosure. They love being outside, smelling the breeze, basking in the sun, pouncing on smaller critters.
One of the cats I adopted in recent years came to me declawed... and while I know it's convenient for the owner, it's sad to know that if she escapes outside for more than a minute to chew on a few leaves of grass, she's in mortal danger because of her lack of claws.
I had one (and only one) cat declawed some years ago, at my mother's behest, and I would never do it again. It leaves them totally defenseless.
Posted by pbmaltzman
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June 17, 2007 5:03 PM
Posted on June 17, 2007 17:03