I'm it. (Rachel Lucas)

I'm it.

There's a meme going around called LALOLKFATYK (Learn A Lot Of Little Known Facts About Those You Know) and my old pal Tuning Spork tagged me with it. He thinks I don't do memes as a rule, but the truth is I've never been tagged before. I'm not opposed to it (although some of the questions are really dumb - who writes these things?), plus I'm amped up on caffeine again, so here goes:

WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
Yep, for the Rachel in the Bible. Get this: Rachel means either "ewe" or "innocence and gentility of a rose". HAHAHA. Nice try, Mom and Dad.

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
Saturday night while watching "Blood Diamond" on DVD. I wouldn't call it full-on crying but I got a little choked up. Plus I was drinking red wine and that makes me sensitive. Seriously though - that movie is depressing and I'll probably never buy or own another diamond again.

DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
What kind of stupid question is this? Who writes these memes? Do I like my handwriting?? That's one of those things that, well, if I didn't like it, I would do it differently. Duh?

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
Nothing is more delicious on bread than a dead pig. Ham.

DO YOU HAVE KIDS?
Hells no. I don't like kids, I don't want kids, I never ever will be in possession of any kids because they are tiny little prison wardens.

IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
I would be my BEST friend. Because I am just that awesome.

DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT?
Nah. I prefer outright mockery and name-calling.

DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?
Yes, and I'm convinced I will die because of it. Do you know how many people get tonsillar cancer in middle age? My god. I transcribe at least 3-4 reports a day with that diagnosis. Those things should be removed prophylactically. Boobs, too. And colons while we're at it.

WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?
Fuck no. I don't see anything even remotely appealing about it. Mostly because again, I'm convinced it would kill me because my neck would snap or the rope would break. I'm a little paranoid, I own it.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?
Cereal usually makes me want to throw up, with all the milk and sugar sogginess. But if forced, I like Golden Grahams and Honey Nut Cheerios.

DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
No. I hate wearing shoes and they must come off as quickly as possible the minute I walk in the door.

DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG?
Physically, no, as I am a runt. Mentally/psychologically/emotionally, I'm like Mr. Universe.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM?
I will only eat two kinds and only rarely: plain vanilla or mint chocolate chip, and preferably in a waffle cone. I don't get the universal affection for ice cream; much like cereal, it usually makes me feel like barfing because it's so sticky and sugary.

WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?
Their facial expression. I like smilers.

RED OR PINK?
Red. Pink is hideous and worthless. I don't think I have a single pink thing in my entire house.

WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?
I worry about getting old and dying way too much.

WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST?
Nobody. I'm not really the missing type. Maybe it's just because no one I've ever been truly close to has died, and I am in contact with everyone I want to be in contact with. I really miss Sunny when she's over at John's house every few weeks, though.

WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?
I'm wearing neither pants nor shoes right now. Don't get excited - who blogs while wearing pants and shoes (unless they're at work)?? I'm wearing green shorts with little yellow flowers on them.

WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?
Rolos. I ate them all.

WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
Digger; he's chewing on a ball and making wet breathy sounds. It's a little gross.

IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?
That is just a stupid question. I refuse to answer it. What is this, The Actors' Studio? In case it is, my favorite curse word is "cocksucker" pronounced with a Boston accent like in "The Departed" when Matt Damon calls people "fackin' cacksackas".

FAVORITE SMELLS?
The Kerastase stuff I put in my hair, bacon cooking on a skillet, and the top of Sunny's stinky little head.

WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
My totally awesome boyfriend (code name: Rupert), last night. He commanded me to sleep well, and I did.

FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?
NFL football, baby! It's the only sport I watch on my own accord. You guys are gonna be hearing a LOT about Vince Young on this blog in a few months.

HAIR COLOR?
Dark brown.

EYE COLOR?
Blue. Duh.

DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?
Yes, Focus Dailies, the most brilliant invention of all time right after the Pill. I had to start wearing glasses when I was 11, and got contacts at 15 but they were the horrible kind you had to actually clean once in a while and all that nonsense. These daily ones are AWESOME, you just yank them out at the end of the day and throw them out. It's so wonderful I can hardly stand it.

FAVORITE FOOD?
Mexican. Even Taco Bell. I have issues.

SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?
Neither. Boooorrrrrrriiiiinnnngggg. My favorite kind of movies have fucked-up endings that make you kind of sad. With the exception of the Lord of the Rings trilogy.

LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
"Apocalypto" last night, which would have been great if I'd had a clue what anyone was saying. I mean really Gibson - you're taking your "art" too far dude. I did enjoy all the naked man-buttocks though.

WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
Sigh. Are we serious? A green tank top. Seriously, who writes these questions? Can't they be more interesting, like "On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate your butt?" Or "Describe your last nightmare."

SUMMER OR WINTER?
Neither. Spring is the only season worth a crap and everybody knows it.

HUGS OR KISSES?
The only person allowed to kiss me is Rupert. I'll hug almost anybody though. People don't hug enough.

FAVORITE DESSERT?
I'm not a big fan of dessert, which is probably one of the reasons I weigh 115 pounds. I never have really understood dessert actually, I mean I JUST ATE A MEAL for crissakes. I AM FULL. But if required to eat some, I love pie the most. Coconut cream, pumpkin, apple - chomp chomp!

MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
What would happen if I just deleted this question and the next? They're stupid questions.

LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
See above.

WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?
Book? You mean on paper? Something that would prevent me from being on the Internet or watching TV? It's just preposterous.

WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
Uhhhh....my mouse. And my mouse pad is actually a clipboard. Don't ask.

WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON T.V. LAST NIGHT?
Nothing because Sunday night TV sucks and I was watching a DVD anyway.

FAVORITE SOUND?
God, what a gay question. Am I supposed to say the sound of rain or children laughing? I really can't believe meme-writers can't come up with something better. Here's some more ideas: "Describe the first time you got drunk." Or "How do you feel about your feet?"

ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES?
I can't believe this is even debatable. The Beatles are the most over-rated thing ever to exist on this planet. I fucking hate the Beatles. I fucking hate Paul McCartney and John Lennon and I fucking hate almost every single Beatles song I have ever fucking heard. The Stones win this one hands down because the Stones fucking ROCK. I feel fairly strongly about this in case you were wondering.

WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME?
Hawaii. I am lame.

DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?
I can do transcription and sing along to music or have a conversation at the same time. I freak my own self out with it sometimes.

WHERE WERE YOU BORN?
Almost in the toilet. My mom was birthing me at a midwife center and she felt an urge not unlike the one requiring a toilet so she went to it, but soon realized it was in fact me, and Dad had to get her back to the bed pronto. Maybe that's why I have such a potty mouth! HAHAHA!!

WHOSE ANSWERS ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO GETTING BACK?
Will I be punished somehow if I don't tag someone with this? Is it like breaking a chain letter and I will be cursed with bad luck? I'll take my chances, because it's time to get back to work. Buh-bye now.

Posted on June 18, 2007 10:47 AM | Permalink

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Comments (31)

tedders

The Beatles are the most over-rated thing ever to exist on this planet.

Oh dear, the first flaw ill conceived utterance I see in an other wise great person. The Beatles actually had at least a little talent, well two of 'em anyway. The Stones? None, Jagger sings as well as a cat and the other ex and current heroin addicts in the band can barely talk (Kieth, lay down, you're dead!!). Well they do have a good manager and publicist. They cater to the lowest common denominator of MTV spawn in todays society. Kieth Richards was pretty cool as Captain Jack Sparrows dad in the latest Pirates of the Caribbean I'll have to admit. I've seen the Stones 4 times and enjoyed the shows but still their on par wit the likes of Ted Nugent (who I don't hate) and the Beatles crap more talent than the Stones and all their immediate relatives combined..

Posted by tedders | June 18, 2007 11:23 AM

Posted on June 18, 2007 11:23

JenLars

I think your ideas for meme questions sound great--you should start one.

Posted by JenLars | June 18, 2007 11:24 AM

Posted on June 18, 2007 11:24

Haverwilde

So on a scale of 1 to 10 how would you rate your butt?

Posted by Haverwilde | June 18, 2007 11:43 AM

Posted on June 18, 2007 11:43

Bonnie B.

I concur. You should make up your own meme. I would pass that thing around like the clap in a whorehouse.

Posted by Bonnie B. | June 18, 2007 11:59 AM

Posted on June 18, 2007 11:59

Tuning Spork

I like your question about describing your last nightmare. Although my nightmares tend to be creepier than any creepy movie I've ever seen.

Posted by Tuning Spork | June 18, 2007 12:08 PM

Posted on June 18, 2007 12:08

Sigivald

If you like diamonds, you could always get a Canadian one, or a synthetic.

I agree with the Beatles being overrated, though I'd remind tedders that that doesn't mean they're bad - they aren't - just that their reputation vastly exceeds their actual quite significant talent.

(Though I don't think I can support the Stones; sure, they had a few good tracks in the early days, especially right after they stopped being a blues band and before the mid-70s bloat kicked in, but if I had to be stuck with either the Stones catalog or the Beatles, I'd have to pick the Beatles.

Of course, given the choice, I'd pick Sabbath or Blue Oyster Cult over either, to stay in the same vague sort of classic-rock genre.)

Posted by Sigivald | June 18, 2007 1:04 PM

Posted on June 18, 2007 13:04

Hardliner

good answers.

Posted by Hardliner | June 18, 2007 1:25 PM

Posted on June 18, 2007 13:25

Rusgreim

I haven't commented on your site yet, but after your Beatles tirade, I felt I must.

Best. Opinion. Ever.

Beatles totally suck, and are WAY over-rated.

Posted by Rusgreim | June 18, 2007 1:35 PM

Posted on June 18, 2007 13:35

Birdman

Have you heard McCartney's latest song on the iTunes commercial? I can't believe they paid for such an inane claptrap. Way overrated!

Posted by Birdman | June 18, 2007 2:40 PM

Posted on June 18, 2007 14:40

wRitErsbLock

so, Rachel, two other bloggers objected to this meme and created much more interesting (read: appalling and racy) memes. One for boys and one for girls.

Posted by wRitErsbLock | June 18, 2007 2:42 PM

Posted on June 18, 2007 14:42

Bad Penny

I used to work with a guy who claimed the Beatles were the highest musical acheivement of mankind. Seriously. He also claimed to have led student demonstrations in the 60s, which was hilarious cus he couldn't lead, um, a sailor to rum. Anyway, he's all The Beatles Are Mankind's Greatest Acheivement and I'm all, dude, you are out of your fucking mind, everybody knows the Ramones are way better. Beatles are muzak.

Posted by Bad Penny | June 18, 2007 2:46 PM

Posted on June 18, 2007 14:46

LabRat

I have never heard a single Beatles tune that I liked. And while I may have no idea who Jude is, thanks to the classic rock DJ who manned the station of my childhood, I want to find him or her and kick them very hard in the stomach. That ought to get their attention so the Beatles can stop repeating the name for three days straight.

I love the blues, so I liked the Stones when they were blues musicians a lot, though the later stuff I'm not as hot on.

Posted by LabRat | June 18, 2007 3:29 PM

Posted on June 18, 2007 15:29

milwife

I just got tagged with this same quiz a few weeks ago. Your answers are way better than mine.

Posted by milwife | June 18, 2007 4:06 PM

Posted on June 18, 2007 16:06

PaulT

Damn, there's some Beatles hatred going around today! If McCartney reads this he will wipe his tears away tonight with $1000 bills. I liked the Beatles, but I think "Imagine" is the worst song ever written. I'm sure Lennon "imagined no possessions" from the back of his stretch limo.

This meme sure gets around; I just filled out the same one last week. Good answers except for the best season. Summer: too hot. Winter: too cold. Spring: for what? Blooming flowers? Bah. It has to be Fall for one reason and one reason alone: FOOTBALL.

Posted by PaulT | June 18, 2007 4:16 PM

Posted on June 18, 2007 16:16

Tuning Spork

Well everybody loves spring and fall, that's why the choice is winter or summer. You must choose between the lesser of two evils!

Posted by Tuning Spork | June 18, 2007 5:25 PM

Posted on June 18, 2007 17:25

pbmaltzman

I get tagged with things like this once in a while, but I don't answer them or forward them on, because invariably I get complaints from friends. Still, your answers were amusing.

Posted by pbmaltzman | June 18, 2007 6:21 PM

Posted on June 18, 2007 18:21

rickl

Bad Penny:

I used to work with a guy who claimed the Beatles were the highest musical acheivement of mankind.

Was his name Charles Manson?

(I'm kidding, I'm kidding. I don't hate the Beatles, or the Stones. I like Bob Dylan, although a lot of people hate him for some reason.)

Posted by rickl | June 18, 2007 8:06 PM

Posted on June 18, 2007 20:06

Elijah

I'm wearing green shorts with little yellow flowers on them.

Since when does that stop one getting excited?

Posted by Elijah | June 18, 2007 8:28 PM

Posted on June 18, 2007 20:28

rickl

Winter, definitely. I don't have to mow the lawn and there are no centipedes in my house.

Here's a meme:
WHAT CREATURE WOULD YOU LIKE SO SEE GO EXTINCT?
Centipedes.

Posted by rickl | June 18, 2007 8:29 PM

Posted on June 18, 2007 20:29

rickl

"TO", not "SO".

I type a real simple comment and figure I don't have to preview, and look what happens.

Posted by rickl | June 18, 2007 8:37 PM

Posted on June 18, 2007 20:37

Lady Heather of Suburbia

C'mon Rachel, give Pink a chance.

Posted by Lady Heather of Suburbia | June 18, 2007 9:18 PM

Posted on June 18, 2007 21:18

Tuning Spork

rickl,
Strangley, I read it as you meant it the first time through and had to go back and notice the typo.

Weird, eh?

Oddly strange, even.

Kinda like a nightmare... **cue creepy music**

(Sorry, Rick. Just felt like trying to spook you you out fer a sec...

....or did I....?....)

Posted by Tuning Spork | June 18, 2007 9:19 PM

Posted on June 18, 2007 21:19

Tuning Spork

Dang! I tried to write a creepy comment and then repeated the word "you".

Feel my pain.

Posted by Tuning Spork | June 18, 2007 9:22 PM

Posted on June 18, 2007 21:22

Sparrow

Don't worry, Tuning Spork, your comment still came out creepy, as you threatened to asphyxiate rickl: Strangley? Perhaps you meant Strangely...

Don't worry, we all maek misteaks.

Posted by Sparrow | June 18, 2007 9:46 PM

Posted on June 18, 2007 21:46

rickl

Tuning Spork:

It's OK, as long as there are no centipedes involved.

Actually these make the ones in my house look positively cute and cuddly.

Posted by rickl | June 18, 2007 9:47 PM

Posted on June 18, 2007 21:47

rickl

From the same website:

Now this is Damn Interesting.

OK, I'll stop now as I seem to be drifting off topic.

Posted by rickl | June 18, 2007 10:19 PM

Posted on June 18, 2007 22:19

Rickbert

I kept waiting for the phrase 'lactose intolerant' to come up in your answers about cereal and ice cream (or desserts for that matter).

Are you lactose intolerant?

Posted by Rickbert | June 19, 2007 5:58 AM

Posted on June 19, 2007 05:58

Rachel Lucas

I didn't notice Rickl's or Tuning Spork's typos either! Weird.

Rickbert - nope I'm not lactose intolerant. I love the heck out of milk and will drink a half gallon of the stuff if I have enough chocolate chip cookies on hand. It's just something about cereal (the sogginess) and about ice cream (the stickiness). But I love milk and cheese and all that yummy dairy stuff. YUMMMMMM

Posted by Rachel Lucas | June 19, 2007 7:04 AM

Posted on June 19, 2007 07:04

rick

In late 63, early 64, North America's music scene consisted of Bobby Rydell, Frankie Avalon, Dion and the Belmonts, Bobby Curtola, Bobby Vinton and other Bobbys to numerous to mention. Singing music written by middle-aged Jewish tunesmiths in Tin Pan Alley in New Yawk. The Beatles took over the airwaves, rolled over North America like rockin' and rollin' tsunami. Small wonder really with the aforementioned competition. They may very well be overrated now, but at the time they were a musical wakeup call for a whole generation. Love 'em or hate 'em, they sure changed not only the music scene but the whole lifestyle scene. I was 14 years old when I first heard 'She Loves You' and I kinda lived through that whole era. Overrated or not, they were a big part of my teenage years. Just sayin'.

Posted by rick | June 19, 2007 8:37 AM

Posted on June 19, 2007 08:37

Ith

Now that was entertaining! I think you should create a questionnaire though. It would be original, that's for sure!

Posted by Ith | June 19, 2007 2:41 PM

Posted on June 19, 2007 14:41

rickl

rick, rickl, Rickbert, Rick Lucas...There seems to be a disproportionate number of Ricks around here.

Posted by rickl | June 19, 2007 10:02 PM

Posted on June 19, 2007 22:02