The No-Cussin' Challenge: 4 Days For SarahK (Rachel Lucas)

The No-Cussin' Challenge: 4 Days For SarahK

I think it's time for me to tell you that I have a girl-crush on one Miss SarahK. She's married to some monkey-lover blogger named Fred or Farley or something, but that doesn't mean she shouldn't marry me, too. Sarah and I have been emailing each other like two junior high school girls on a note-writing frenzy, and every note I get from her makes me want even more to get a tattoo of her face with BFF! written underneath. If you don't know what that means, you're unequipped to ever comprehend the mysteries of female friendship.

Anyway, so I adore this girl completely, and not just because she is going to teach me how to master a kick-ass guacamole recipe. She's just awesome and smart and absolutely hilarious, even when she's talking about the hell she's had to go through medically. So to show my affection and my solidarity, I've decided that for the next four days, while Sarah continues to load herself with nasty bad evil gluten for a test she has to undergo, I will put myself through my own challenge: NO CUSSING ON THE BLOG.

I know! It's craziness!! I am like a sailor on steroids with the language around here. I love to cuss; it makes me happy and brings me deep satisfaction on a sick, depraved level deep in my psyche. It's a character flaw but I own it, and I feel I'm entitled to at least a few weaknesses. The only person on the planet I've never said "f*ck" in front of is my grandmother.

The reason I'm gonna refrain from saying that and other vulgar words, and avoid blasphemous references to Jesus, God, or the Virgin Mary for the next four days is because even though Sarah has a plainly stated policy on her blog of no cussing or blasphemy, people sometimes still do it in her comments, or send her crappy emails with curse words, and I want to make it up to her at least a little by proving on my own blog that it isn't THAT HARD to keep it clean. If Rachel Lucas can do it, any idiot can.

And that includes all of you turkeys in the comments section (for the record, "turkeys" is a term of endearment in Lucastown). Hey, it'll give us all an opportunity to share non-dirty words to replace dirty ones. Like, "rectal sombrero" instead of asshat. And a word of warning: when the 4 days are over and Sarah gets to go off gluten, this blog will briefly be truly R-rated and fouler than Sunny's poo a day after eating leftover pinto beans. Hopefully my Grandma won't be reading that day.

By the way, as I write this, I have just received final confirmation that SarahK is, in point of fact, the awesomest girl in the world: she emailed me the answer to my question about the category code, and I plugged it in, and it works, and thus I will conclude with a haiku:

Piquant and fair-haired
Princess of unholy wit
Sarah, cheeky lass

Posted on June 11, 2007 11:58 AM | Permalink

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Comments (14)

sarahk

I have no words! *tear* For me? You're awesome. Ok, maybe I had a few words.

Aw, crap. I guess that means I have traffic today. I should post something worth reading.

Posted by sarahk | June 11, 2007 12:04 PM

Posted on June 11, 2007 12:04

Pat Berry

On top of that, SarahK has a heavenly singing voice. Hearing her sing was one of the best parts of the late lamented IMAO podcast.

Posted by Pat Berry | June 11, 2007 12:05 PM

Posted on June 11, 2007 12:05

Frank J.

Aww. And I was just about to tell Rachel Lucas exactly what I think of her.

I guess I'll have to wait four days.

Posted by Frank J. | June 11, 2007 12:28 PM

Posted on June 11, 2007 12:28

CastoCreations

SarahK ROCKS! As does her hubby. :) Another one of my favorite blogs that is difficult to read at work (funny looks while snorting is not a career builder).

Good luck Rachel!!!

Posted by CastoCreations | June 11, 2007 12:35 PM

Posted on June 11, 2007 12:35

wRitErsbLock

I heart SarahK, too. She makes the bestest gluten-free brownies ever.

Posted by wRitErsbLock | June 11, 2007 1:05 PM

Posted on June 11, 2007 13:05

A Recovering Liberal

A favorite non-dirty alternative to "head up his a**": cranial rectumitis.

Posted by A Recovering Liberal | June 11, 2007 1:06 PM

Posted on June 11, 2007 13:06

Sigivald

Oaths:"Hell and death!",
"Sweet Zombie Mohammed!",
"Sweet Cuppin' Cakes!",
"By Crom!"

Descriptions:
"Not a very nice person at all",
"Communist",
and (depending on your definitions of "cussing"),
"whoreson preterite" (cf. Pat O'Brian).

Posted by Sigivald | June 11, 2007 1:15 PM

Posted on June 11, 2007 13:15

sarahk

this will be so much fun!

and wRitErsbLock is so correct. i DO make the best gluten-free brownies. actually, now that i think of it, didn't you make them when you had them at my house? so what she means is that Bob's Red Mill makes the best mixes, and i buy the best gluten-free brownie mixes. better than gluteny brownies.

Posted by sarahk | June 11, 2007 1:25 PM

Posted on June 11, 2007 13:25

philmon

My personal favorite I heard from a friend.

"Got dandruff! Some of it itches!"

It still makes me laugh. And it's at least PG. Maybe even G.

Posted by philmon | June 11, 2007 4:59 PM

Posted on June 11, 2007 16:59

sarahk

philmon, I'd call that one a PG-13er, because it makes me cringe when I hear it. :-)

and you people who said nice stuff about me: thanks, i heart y'all back.

Posted by sarahk | June 11, 2007 6:21 PM