There was a lot of peeing and sniffing this morning. (Rachel Lucas)

There was a lot of peeing and sniffing this morning.

A new dog park opened nearby recently, which thrills me to no end because despite the fact that Dallas/Fort Worth has, what, over 4 million people, there are only a handful of off-leash dog parks (one in FW, a three in D, and a couple in various 'burbs). It's embarrassing. Austin has 12 at last count, as a comparison. What is this, a third-world country? And by the way, all of the Dallas ones suck; they just flat-out SUCK. The White Rock Lake "dog park" is more like a square acre of solid mud, typically packed with roughly 13,800 people and their half-million dogs. There's another one under a freaking overpass in the bad part of town. No thanks.

The only good thing about any of the dog parks around here until now was their names, they crack me up. "Bark Park" and "Fort Woof" - haha. Anyway so a new one called Central Bark opened in April in Grand Prairie, which even though that's not where I live, it's the closest and best one in the Metroplex. So I took Sunny there this morning, and if you're thinking, oh that must have been fun, you are so very wrong. See, dog parks are only fun if there are DOGS there, which there were not. The look on Sunny's face as she registered the vast emptiness of the park was even sadder than the one she gets when I leash her to a tree and turn on the hose (she hates baths with the fire of a thousand galaxies).

But then, the one square millimeter of neuronal tissue in her brain that works properly had a new realization: there are still several hundred spots of foreign dog urine for me to sniff. At which point she pretty much spontaneously urinated on herself. So we spent a half hour all alone in the big empty dog park, me looking like a mental patient slapping myself repeatedly, trying not to acquire the West Nile virus (the mosquito situation is TOTALLY OUT OF HAND around here because of all the rain) and Sunny acting like a little piggy on methamphetamines. I think she peed 27 times, I don't know where it all came from.

Yes, crazy cat people who think you know everything about dogs, female dogs DO mark territory with pee. Sunny is brutal about it. I once watched her give Digger a full-power body check to stop him from peeing on a spot SHE wanted to pee on. She would never do that in a normal situation because he'd usually bite her face off for such a transgression, but she's got a serious penchant for pee-covering that cannot be thwarted.

But poor, poor Digger. I didn't take him with us to Central Bark (I laugh even typing that) because he can't walk more than about 50 yards before he gets tired and lays down, and I'm worried one day he'll do that and refuse to get back up, and I'm sorry but I can't carry a 90-pound dog back to the car. So when Sunny and I got back home, Digger showed his disappointment and anger by immediately mounting Sunny and humping her with all the vigor his elderly body could muster. (They're both neutered, of course, but that particular foul-mannered behavior never dies.) Sunny was too worn out from all the peeing to throw him off, and just stood here panting and taking the abuse, looking sidelong at me, resigned. Funniest thing I've seen in a while.

Then he dismounted and spent the next five minutes snorting and sniffing all over her, trying to figure out where she'd been that left her covered in the smell of a thousand dogs. I thought he was actually going to inhale her snout with his own. I'm pretty sure he tried.

Afterwards, they toasted the new week and the new dog park with delicious pig ears and then had a nap. Which they're still taking six hours later.

P.S. Maybe the reason Digger humps her so impudently is because she used to do things like this when she was a puppy:

Posted on June 4, 2007 3:50 PM | Permalink

TrackBack

TrackBack URL for this entry:
http://www.rachellucas.com/cgi-bin/mt/mt-tb.cgi/28

Listed below are links to weblogs that reference There was a lot of peeing and sniffing this morning.:

» Free Adult Friend Finder from Free Adult Friend Finder
Interesting topic! I really enjoyed your discussion points and plan to share your blog with my friends! I didn't quite agree with everything but I do like to see other peoples points of view. If you want to learn how to get 100% free access to Adult... [Read More]

Comments (15)

philmon

One would think they'd've gone for the more obvious "Central Bark".

Posted by philmon | June 4, 2007 3:54 PM

Posted on June 4, 2007 15:54

Brian_Thorn

Rachel, Rachel, Rachel, I know they say everything is bigger and better in Tezas, but if you truly want the best Dog park for your four-legged, farting, frolickers you need to seriously consider moving to New Jersey. We have the biggest Dog Park in the entire country here, it's called.......Pennsylvania.

Have fun ;)!

Posted by Brian_Thorn | June 4, 2007 4:05 PM

Posted on June 4, 2007 16:05

Pat Berry

And today's Free Ice Cream flavor is . . . Dog Urine! Hooray!

Posted by Pat Berry | June 4, 2007 4:05 PM

Posted on June 4, 2007 16:05

Rachel Lucas

Philmon - I am such a retard. I think that IS what the sign said. I'm gonna fix it in the post, thanks for snapping my brain out of its daylong fart.

Posted by Rachel Lucas | June 4, 2007 4:06 PM

Posted on June 4, 2007 16:06

FozzieBear

...looking sidelong at me, resigned.
What --- no pics?

Posted by FozzieBear | June 4, 2007 5:14 PM

Posted on June 4, 2007 17:14

Janna

Do Sunny and Digger always have to pee on the same spot? I have three dogs (I've GOT to stop volunteering at the animal shelter) and one will pee then the other two line up to pee on the same spot. They take turns being first. They do it all over the yard, and I can't figure out how they decide who goes first. They take turns. They are very weird, but fun to watch. Especially when all three run from the cat.

Posted by Janna | June 4, 2007 6:29 PM

Posted on June 4, 2007 18:29

sarahk

the place where I buy my cat food (and used to buy my dog food before Rowdi decided to be allergic to all foods and the entire state of Florida) is called Bark Avenue. hahahahaha.

Posted by sarahk | June 4, 2007 6:44 PM

Posted on June 4, 2007 18:44

J.C._Corbett

Dog parks are so much fun. It's better than people watching. If only I'd had the presence of mind (it's funny how much I find myself saying that) to have the camera with me when my heeler found it necessary to poo directly in front of the poo bag station. *sigh*

Posted by J.C._Corbett | June 4, 2007 7:05 PM

Posted on June 4, 2007 19:05

Pat Berry

I was just thinking about this blog while loading the dishwasher (yeah, I have no life) and I had what may be a brilliant idea. Or maybe it's stupid. You folks will have to judge.

Since Rachel returned to blogging, an impressively large number of us have posted comments here, saying how happy we are that she's back. But let's not forget that it was Bill Whittle who convinced her to do it. Shouldn't we all send him a thank-you note? I'm not going to post Bill's e-mail address here, but you can easily find it at his blog. Look on the right side, just below his name.

It seems to me that Bill did the blogosphere a great service by persuading Rachel to return. I'm going to tell him so. If you feel the same way, you know what to do.

Posted by Pat Berry | June 4, 2007 8:07 PM

Posted on June 4, 2007 20:07

Donna

Dear Pat Berry:
I emailed Bill like 2 months ago asking about Rachel, and he said he had no idea what she was up to and to ask the DuToits, (sp), and now she is back and I am thrilled and already left a note to him.
I have to admit Rachel, I REALLY missed the dog stories, and poor Digger getting old......
Welcome home Rachel, we all missed you!

Posted by Donna | June 5, 2007 4:01 AM

Posted on June 5, 2007 04:01

cliff

Dog parks are a riot, I go and I don't even have a dog. Mounting is normal dominance behavier. Male, female, neutered, or intact it makes no differance. Its funney to watch my brothers pom mount his lab sheaperd mix.

Posted by cliff | June 5, 2007 10:06 AM

Posted on June 5, 2007 10:06

Alexander

Dogs I believe have an internal gauge to ration their pee...kind of like that bladder that fish have that keeps them even keel.

Tree Stump: Wood, absorbant = 0.25 squirts.

Fire Hydrant: Metal and Latex paint, non-absorbant = 1.5 squirts.

Steet Curb: Cement, semi absorbant, location dependent = 0.5 squirts.

Another Dog: Fur, very absorbant, 2.0 squirts.

Posted by Alexander | June 5, 2007 10:42 AM

Posted on June 5, 2007 10:42

Alexander

By the way Rachel, that photo made me laugh out loud!

Posted by Alexander | June 5, 2007 10:48 AM

Posted on June 5, 2007 10:48

milwife

We call it p-mail.

Love the blog.

Posted by milwife | June 5, 2007 1:57 PM

Posted on June 5, 2007 13:57

alacrityfitzhugh

"There was a lot of peeing and sniffing this morning"
Man! Am I glad you followed that with "A new dog park opened nearby recently..."!
You had me worried!

Posted by alacrityfitzhugh | June 5, 2007 7:03 PM

Posted on June 5, 2007 19:03