Don't want to get selected?
"Dear jury selection committee;
I am so excited to serve on a jury. I'm a firm believer in jury nullification, and I'm sure that whatever BS law you've charged the defendant with breaking, it's unconstitutional and in need of nullification. See you in court!
Sincerely, Rachel"

Obviously there aren't Crazy or Stupid Tests for jury selection.

No, there aren't. Alas.

[grumble]Nor for voting, either.[/grumble]

I'm 49, and I've only been called three times. Twice by the county and once for federal court. I was never even interviewed. Each time, I just had to show up and wait until we were dismissed.

Part of the problem is that it's too easy for people who have jobs and businesses to get out of it, so juries tend to be disproportionately made up of people who have nothing to do but watch soap operas all day.

Good for you, Rachel, for going through with it. Society can only benefit if more sane and intelligent people serve on juries.

It would probably be a good idea to increase the pay of jurors so it isn't such a burden on average people to serve.

Rachel, telling the truth about your belief that any defendant who doesn't take the stand must be guilty is a sure way to avoid serving on a criminal jury (won't help a bit for serving on a civil jury), but be careful about using that as a gambit to avoid service.

Back when I was a prosecutor, there was a guy on jury duty who was too clever by half. He told the judge that he thought anybody the cops arrested must be guilty, and there was just no way his mind could be changed on that point. It was pretty obvious that this was a line he was delivering to avoid serving, and the judge saw right through him. The judge didn't make him serve on the jury, but he did make the guy come to court every day and sit in the front row of the courtroom, so the judge could make sure he was there. He had to serve as long as the actual jury did.

Or, what Annie said. :}

This woman you speak of sounds as though she's seen 12 Angry Men one too many times.

The way you described her, she sounds as though she had it in her head that it's the jury's job, rather than the defense attorney's job, to provide a vigorous defense for the accused. I think she had this idealistic scenario in her head where she would slowly argue her way around the room until, one by one, she had convinced you all to vote with her. Just like in the movies.

Oh quit your whining, you know you want to come back and be able to say "You should have seen what this asshat said to try and get out of it..."

If you really want out of jury duty, when they ask how you would determine someone's guilt or innocence just look at the defense attorney and say "Well, if he wasn't guilty he wouldn't have been arrested. BURN HIM AT THE STEAK!!!! Hmmmm... steak sounds good. HEY JUDGE! When do we get to go to lunch, huh? I'm starvin' over here."

I think there's a hardship application you can fill out because you're self employed.

In the last ten years, Rachel, I have been summoned EIGHT times. I have never had to serve, but each time is a pain in the ass.

My address is in one county, but I grew up on a farm in another county, where I am still registered to vote.

So I get called by both counties. Here is how I avoid serving. I state categorically that I believe in the death penalty for [whatever crime is being discussed]. My father is even more overt, saying once that he thought "all n***ers must die." Of course he doesn't actually feel that way, but it gets him out of jury duty.

One time, I was asked, "do you have any reason why you cannot serve on the jury for this DUI case?" And I said, "well, sir, actually, I work for a retailer as a wine steward...so I'd be a perfect judge of someone's sobriety. Matter of fact, I go to regular AA meetings as well. All drunks should be jailed." Instant disqualification by the defense.

Now in the other county, my uncle is the county attorney, which pretty much means I just show up and tell them that. Although, it makes you wonder why they even send it out in the first place; I mean there are only two families with our name in the whole county (which is rural).

Got called once 40 years ago...but I was overseas in the service.

I guess they assume I'm still in the service as I've never been called again.

My wife gets called all the time. Last time was for a grand jury in Trenton. She doesn't drive. The state demanded she show up under pain of imprisonment.

I sent them a nice letter, with a bus schedule from my out of the way town to Trenton...5 hours on 4 buses including changes and wait time - each way.

I told them flat out she wasn't coming and that I'd move her out of state if they persisted. Never heard from them again.

I was part of a jury pool that was to hear a case about drug possession, this was in Dallas County during the late 80's and the guy had less than an ounce of crack when the cop busted him.

When they asked potential jurors if they held any views that might influence them when considering the case I said -

"No your Honor, I fully support the the decriminalization of all drugs"

After which almost everyone (about 120) in the potential jury pool parrotted my every word.

I wasn't picked for the jury, but the prick of a DA made me continue to show up to be part of the jury pool for another 2 days although all the cases that were being heard were drug offenses.

Otcconan:

See my reply to your comment back on the icepick thread.

I have lived in this country for only 4 years, and I've been called once already.
I have no idea how I even got on the jury duty/summons list in the first place. I'm not a citizen - which turned out to be the perfect excuse. I didn't even have to show up when they found that out.
My husband who has lived in this county for 15 years hasn't been called once.

Didn't anyone point out to that woman that the drunk should have thought of his family before drinking and driving? He's the one punishing his family, not the jury or the law.

You might want to check the fine print on your jury summons. If you've served in the past two or three years (it depends on the jury size, county size, and some other factors) you can be excused.

If the county is using a computer to select potential jurors, it could be that you're just "lucky" to be someone whose number is popular with their pseudo-random number generator. I've seen programs that made poor use of random number generators where you could begin to predict the outcome each time you ran it (i.e. it wasn't remotely random).

"Any one who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin." -- John von Neumann

Maybe this is a silly question, but can you get in trouble for lying about your personal beliefs during the voir dire? What I mean is, is it illegal to say you support the decriminalization of drugs when you actually don't?

I've never served on a jury myself but it seems like something that might be illegal.

I never get called. Mostly b/c my late father was a lawyer, and the local judiciary knows tht I am not highly impressed with lawyers as a group. That includes the black-robed kind.

That said...if I were called, I'd want to serve, if only because I do believe in jury nullification, and to say I'd done it.

Mightysamurai... yes, theoretically you can. They do put you under oath for those questions, in most jurisdictions.

As I noted in an earlier comment, I have personally seen judges get quite upset with people who are clearly lying to try to get out of jury duty. They do have things they can do, short of actually shoving you on the jury. As I said, I saw one judge order a guy to come back every day of the week to just sit in the front row and watch court, after the guy tried to get cute and claim that he believed everybody arrested was guilty.

It's every American's right to whine and complain about having to do jury duty. But it really is a duty you owe to your fellow citizens, so please keep all the clever "outs" in your head, and don't really use them. If you were arrested, would you want your jury to consist only of "people too dumb to get out of jury duty?"

I ended up on a 3 month jury, former cop, they were trying to pin abuse of government funds etc., no true evidence because their policies and procedures sucked big donkey dicks. Although he was totally a scumbag, ( screwing around while on duty not his significant other, but, (person of legal age) they were trying to say he had commited felonies & misuse of public funds. (over $400.00) total bullshit. We had had to sit through all this crap for way too long. Sometimes the prosecution spends more time trying to prove their case than the total amount of their proposed cost of the "wrongdoing" And that is as much a misuse of public funds as the "alleged" charges of misuse of public funds.

I've actually only been called once. And I wanted to go, but I couldn't, because I was in college and had a final that day.

Since you're actually losing money if chosen, you should look into that self-employment thing that someone mentioned.

How to get outa jury duty.

When they call you to come forward so's they can ask a few questions to see if you are nuts, grab the waist band of your panties and pull real hard so they come up half way to your neck.

Say, "Ahhhhh. I always feel better with a good hinder binder."

As you walk forward, yank your panties with each step, so that you hop.

Say, "Hippety hop to the barber shop."

Bet you'll be on the street in 30 seconds or less.

Make sure to wear proper foot gear.

http://jollywalkers.com/inc/sdetail/618

Another sure-fire ploy is to stuff your mouth with raw chicken livers. Chew till gooey and let dribble.

Talk at the same time.

Say, "Look what I can do?" And squish between teeth.

Three times in ten years, and I was chosen twice to serve.

I actually don't mind it and am happy to serve. And I do believe in jury nullification but would never say so during the selection process (unless directly and specifically asked), and I am just waiting for the opportunity to exercise that right with the right case.

In the County I just moved out of one of the standard questions is "What magazines do you read regularly?" I answer (truthfully) National Review, Reason, and American Spectator. Somehow it never seems to go any further.......

I haven't been called for a while. I'm probably due. I wouldn't mind so much if they just didn't make it so damn inconvenient. If you're called in my county, it's not just a week or so, it's every Tuesday (or whatever) for a month. pretty much screws up work and personal plans.

I've always been sent home once they find out I have LE experiences and maintain ties to the LEO community. The NRA Lifer pin doesn't hurt. I haven't had to wear my "Justice - regular and extra crispy" T-shirt as of yet.

I have a t-shirt that says "Lets go to the Blue States and Kick Some Ass".

Worn it both times, haven't had to serve yet.

All I can really say Rachel is:

HA HA HA HA HA HA (deep breath) HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!! Better you than me toots!

Have fun ;)!

PS: I have been a registered voter for 27 years and have only gotten "the letter" once (knock wood), and I got out of it with a phone call. Gotta love "financial hardships", they can be so bloody timely when they need to be eh? I find moving around a bit helps too.

In my county, you have to be a registered voter to be called for jury duty (the same is probably true in most/all counties). My parents are registered as are my four older sibs. None of them ever--even to this day--have been called for jury duty. I became a registered voter at age 16--the League of Women Voters came to my HS in September & said if we were 18 by the following year's election, we could register. Since I fit that criteria, I registered...fast forward six months. It's February, I'm now 17 and still in HS and get a letter from the county saying I have to report for jury duty. I had to go down to the courthouse in person--letters or phone calls would not be accepted--and explain to the judge how I became a registered voter even though I was still a minor. He excused me. Two months after I turned 18, guess what came in the mail? I wound up serving two trials.

I got summoned 5 times over two years my junior and senior years of college. They way my county works, though, you don't necessarily have to do anything. You're supposed to call the day before to see if you actually are supposed to appear. That only happened the last time, and I haven't been summoned since.

I was summoned for a case involving alleged sexual assault of a minor. They brought in a pool of 90 hoping to get a jury of 12 that didn't automatically assume the guy was guilty. Plus, you've always got the asshats that claim they're clairvoyant or something goofy because they're too selfish to serve on a jury. Any real excuse (such as being self-employed or an hourly employee so you don't get paid; having kids or sick relatives to take care of; being a student) will get you off anyway. It was amazing how many people suddenly personally knew a victim of sexual assault when the defense attorney asked...

I was on jury duty a year ago. We serve a six-month term. During any term, they have about 150 names in the hat and only call as many as they think they'll need. I got called every single time. My name got drawn to sit in the box every time except one. I managed to end up on two juries in one week. We sent both guys to jail.

In fact, the second trial was a rape case. Oddly, my wife had been called for jury duty during the same term and we both ended up on that jury (all the lawyers knew we were married.) People are still amazed that we actually went home overnight during the trial and didn't discuss the case. Ultimately, we put the rapist punk away for life without parole.

In Detroit, you can be called once a year- obviously they have a lot of trials up here. Go figure, right? I've gotten "the letter" four times in 13 years. First time, I got out of it - I was nursing (a baby) and got deferments for a while until they forgot about me. Second time - I served on a jury (rape trial) and it was REALLY interesting. The guy was so guilty, but a few of the stupider jurors needed to be hand-walked through the facts.

Last time, made it to the court room, where upon the defendant decided to take a plea (the judge was pissed that they hadn't done it earlier and wasted court time.) I got another letter just recently, and am anxiously awaiting my court date.

I received a summons at least six times in 10 years. Best one was when I received a summons for the county while I was reporting every day for the city. I was able to call and tell them what was going on and faxed them a copy of the summons that I was currently serving. I got out of the second one.

But I haven't seen one of those nasty life derailing letters in a while. (knocks on wood) I wouldn't mind serving - I just hate the calling twice a day every day to go down and sit in a room all day on that Thursday and then told to come back on Friday and never getting out of that little room with no air circulation...

yeah, that part I hate

I've been called twice. Gotten out both times because I'm a legal secretary, although I had to go to the courtroom the first time.

After twenty years, I hold the same opinion of the profession as Technomad.

Elizabeth
Imperial Keeper

Jury duty is part of the democratic process. The system is deliberately built to be slow, inefficient, and unwieldy. Since there is no such thing as good government, the founding fathers crafted a system to limit the worst excesses of bad government. Monarchy and dictatorship can be highly efficient forms of government, but do you want to live under either of them? It's the same for our justice system. It's better that the guilty get off from time to time than to have a ruthlessly efficient police state. Putting up with stupidity and inconvenience is a small price to pay for the guarantees of liberty.

I think that lawyer's cousin practices law in Southern California. Boots. Gray pony-tail mullet. Sweet gogs. And by the way, jury selection gets worse. I got picked--as a friggin' alternate for a drug case in SoCal. The defense was "I was just in the area--multiple times--at 3:00 a.m.--blah blah blah.

I say "worse" because I had to sit through all the BS testimony knowing full-well that I wouldn't even get to vote to put this guy away for "loitering multiple times in the company of really bad drug dealers."

What I would've given for a confrontation in the deliberation room with Mrs. F. U. Bailey. Count yourself lucky.

Hey Rachel,

Just be glad it's the COUNTY that keeps picking your name out of the hat instead of the jackals at the IRS looking for someone to audit. My old roommate got hit three times in seven years with that nasty spitball.

Second time - I served on a jury (rape trial) and it was REALLY interesting. The guy was so guilty, but a few of the stupider jurors needed to be hand-walked through the facts.

There was a rape case in Chicago I heard about back when we lived here which was kind of like that. One sweet little old lady on the jury didn't believe it was possible to have even consensual sex standing against the wall. She changed her vote to guilty before the man and woman on the jury with no previous feelings for each other got very far into their demonstration.

I've been called twice. Once I just sat in the pool room and never entered the court and the second I just phoned in every day for a week. My wee wifey served in a civil case. There were people on the jury who felt that since the plaintiff had suffered a loss they were obligated to see that he got money from someone regardless of fault.

Amusingly enough, I got the letter a couple of years ago, but ... like Angel ... am not eligible to serve. I guess I made the list as I pay high taxes, but only having green card status (hmmm ... now I see why my wife wonders why I would want to apply for citizenship) I was ineligible.
Having the high opinion of lawyers (I long for the good old days when the practice of law was illegal) and an even higher opinion of judges (I'm curious as to why someone would spend more money on a campaign to get elected judge that they could recoup (legally) in a lifetime) ... I'm quite sure I'd never qualify. Besides, I have campaigned in favor of the death penalty (which we don't have in high-crime Michigan) ... am NOT into decriminalizing drugs, and think that most sentences .. especially drunk driving ... are WAY too liberal. SO ... I have a hard time believing I could ever get to sit on a jury.

On the difficulties of fielding an actual jury ... we seem to have a real problem around here. Last year, not enough people even bothered to show up after being summoned ... so the judge ordered the police to head down to the local coffee shop (small town, only one) and round up 12 people. LOL. He also ordered all those summoned to appear in court and explain why they were AWOL and justify NOT being found in contempt of court (hey, that's my specific disease ... utter contempt for our tort based "system").

Just tell them you're "The" Rachel F'ing Lucas, She of the floating baby head, Queen of the blogosphere, and you have to go home and put your bikini on your dog. I doubt they'll ever call you again. ;-)

There are judges here in Indy who will cite you for contempt for claiming outrageous things that would make you ineligible for jury duty.

On the other hand, I've been called four times in the past 15 years and I have yet to be seated on an actual jury. And I've only had to go downtown to the courthouse twice. We have a pretty good system where you call in every day for a week and get told whether your jury group has to come in.

My understanding of the system is that it used to be based solely on voter registrations. So people used to not register to vote to avoid jury duty (which in fairness was probably just as well for the electoral system in the county). But now the county is looking at other qualifications like driver's licenses and state ID cards, because the jury pool has shrunk so much.

I WANT to serve. Dang it! Never gonna happen. I got called once...last year. We have to fill out a little form when we get summoned and send it back in. One of the questions - do we have any law enforcement relatives. Well, yes, as a matter of fact my hubby. :)

But I really do want to serve. My mom served on a DUI case and they actually let a guy on the jury wearing a budweiser shirt!!!! Who was all for the guy's innocence. "The police are just picking on him." And my mom swears he was an alcoholic (she's a nurse...she can tell these things).

And I'm sorry for being dumb...what is jury nulification??? Someone enlighten me so I don't have to google it. :)

Pete in Midland

Heh. Trust an immigrant to be about ten times more conservative than most Americans could ever hope to be. :)

Out of curiousity, whereabouts are you from?

I'd like to turn this question around: What kind of things should I say (or not say) if I **want** to be on a jury? (Like many of the commenters here, I favor low taxes, dead terrorists, guns for the law-abiding, imprisoning violent felons, killing killers, legalizing most drugs, etc.)

I mean, sacred obligation of citizenship and all that, but what I really want is a deposit in the ol' karma bank. If (gods forbid) I ever end up a defendant, I *want* bright, educated people on my jury - not blue-hairs, soccer moms and the unemployable.

Jury Nullification: If you don't believe the law that the defendant is charged with is constitutional, or if you believe the defendant is being maliciously prosecuted. You don't convict.

I've only been called once in nearly thirty years of eligibility. In that same period, my wife's been called five times.

My summons came last fall, for criminal pool, right after I bragged on the blog about never being summoned. Coincidence, of course--I was DUE. I showed up on time, willing (if not happy) to do my civic duty, and knowing full well it simply wouldn't happen. That I would be booted on voir dire for almost any criminal case.

Sure enough, first case (domestic violence with agg assault) I go through all the standard questioning from the judge before it gets turned over to the prosecutor and defense attorney, and then he reaches the witness list. "Tell us if you know any of the people I name, or if you are acquainted with myself, the clerk, or any of the attorneys here today."

"Well, Your Honor, the first name is one of the arresting officer and I play poker with him sometimes, his partner was my academy handgun instructor a few years back, the paramedic is a lifelong friend we vacation with every year or two, the ER physician is someone I work with in other areas...and I worked on your re-election campaign."

On with the formula requirements.

"Do you feel that, despite your acquaintance with the people you've mentioned, you can reach a fair and impartial verdict in this case?"

Heh. You betcha.

Well, that got me out in time for lunch! The attorneys wasted no questions on me at all. The only two people dismissed from that pool before me were the retired police captain and the wife of the chief circuit judge.

Back in the afternoon. This case was a homicide involving a crazy person. Since I didn't know this second judge, I actually got to answer some extra questions from the attorneys involved. Same story, except this time the police captain wasn't in the pool for the case, so I was the second person gone. Right after the chief circuit judge's wife.

They didn't call me back for the remainder of the week. I still don't know if they filled all their panels, or if they just figured there was really no point.

I'd like to turn this question around: What kind of things should I say (or not say) if I **want** to be on a jury? (Like many of the commenters here, I favor low taxes, dead terrorists, guns for the law-abiding, imprisoning violent felons, killing killers, legalizing most drugs, etc.)

I feel kinda funny giving you this advice since, as I mentioned earlier, I have never actually served on a jury before, but her goes anyway.

The best advice I can give is, be truthful, but be brief. There's an old joke that if you are put on the stand and a lawyer asks you, "Sir, do you know what time it is?"

You don't say "12:15", you say "Yes".

Don't ever lie about your personal beliefs during voir dire because it can get you tossed out later anyway, and as PatHMV informs me, you can get in legal trouble for it. But if neither the prosecution nor the defense should happen to ask your opinion on whether dead terrorists are preferable to live ones, why bother to mention it?

Wear a "Viva la Rachelution" shirt and you'll be all set to walk free.

I don't know about other states but I've been called for jury service in three counties in California (Orange, Riverside and Los Angeles) and all would hold you in contempt of court if you tried to put on a performance to get out of service. They have little patience with people like that.
It's easy to get out of service. Just fill out the paper work or tell the judge why you would have problems if empaneled. Just be honest about it. They know that most people don't want to be there and giving them a honest response and not a story will work. Even better is when the defense attorney asks you if you can be impartial if you can't just tell him no and why.
I've been called for service about six times and sat on two cases, both which ended in convictions (Arson (Organised Crime related)and Armed Robbery). I agree with Rachel that if the defendant won't take the stand it's a big minus to their case and neither did in the cases I was on. It also doesn't help the defense if the witness they call are total idiots.

Thanks, cliff! :)

I still wish I had a chance to serve.

Oh...and Rachel - don't they give you some sort of monetary compensation? Granted, it's probably nothing in comparison to if you were working but at least it's something.

Not being self employed, if I were called to serve my employer still pays my salary. One of the few benefits for not being self employed, eh? :)

I've served once and I'm happy to serve when called. I'm salaried, though, and my company pays me for the time. My county does pay a small amount of money... it just barely covers the cost of parking near the courthouse. I usually take a book and get some reading done while waiting.

CastroCreatiopns,

Actually in almost every state the law is that your employer is able to deduct from your pay the amount that you have been paid to serve.

When I was called for jury service in Dallas in the late 80's I was paid the grand sum of $6.00 dollars per day for three days.

It would have cost my employer more than the $18.00 that I was paid to deduct that amount from my salary, so they didn't bother.

obLecture: It is better for him to sit there looking guilty than for him to get up there and let the prosecutor start twisting everything he says so that looks and sounds guilty.

The letter's appeared in my mailbox at least five times in about 18 years. Got called into the box for voir dire twice. Wasn't kept in the box after explaining that my stepdad was a police officer and my mom was a victim/witness advocate for the families of homicide victims. Growing up in that environment makes it difficult -- at least for me -- to give defendants the benefit of the doubt.

Another letter recently showed up -- the call-in option this time. I sure as heck hope my number doesn't come up 'cause I'm on deadline that week.

I was on a jury that convicted a man of sexually molesting a 6-year-old. It was very stressful for two reasons.

1. I am pretty sure he would not have been convicted if I had not been on the jury. It was my arguments that swayed the last two people. This was after the jury essentially hung, and the judge told us to go back and try again.

2. Beyond resonable doubt is NOT certainty. I would be happy to put away a child molester, but there is always that little fear that you made a mistake...

doug

Holy crap! I love so many comments. Gonna write a post about what happened today and answer all your questions. Just got home.

MightySamarai

I was raised in "Texas North" ... otherwise known as Alberta, Canada. Well known redneck hangout. LOL.