I live with a grandmother [my wife]. She has two pitbulls for protection. No pork residue needed. At least this scumbag didn't rape the woman. And we must remember, poor Mr Sookoo may have come from a broken home or perhaps his daddy didn't show him enough affection......ah fuck it, he should have his nuts crushed with a cricket bat.

I don't understand why he had to assault her...it's not like she even needed to be subdued.

Well, perhaps the best course of action is a rematch.

~Dion P. Sookoo (wonder what the 'P' stands for...Purtouffoggloo?) enters the ring with tape over his eyes and his hands tied.

~Grandma Shirley enters the ring with a shoehorn, and an angry badger.

*ding ding*

Old people rule.

This is now the third time I've tried to post this. I hate IE7, was meaning to close a tab and closed the browser...ugh.

Four lettered words always have more impact when they're used sparingly. Case in point:

This old guy where I work, he comes in to pick up the day-old bread for the local homeless shelter. He never says a 4 letter word, ever. We all called him "Pops," like he was the grandfather of the whole store. He's about my size, 5'4", 120 lbs. He normally wears long sleeves, but one day he was wearing short sleeves and I noticed a tattoo on his arm. I asked him how he got it, cause every tattoo has its own story, and I have one and have always been interested in the stories behind them.

Well, this guy is in his '80's for sure. He was in the Navy in WW2. I found out later he was on the Lexington at Coral Sea, and survived a jump from the flight deck to the sea when the order came to abandon ship.

He said he'd just come home on leave and there was a carnival in town, so he went and got this Navy tattoo at the carnival for $1. Amazing, really...mine cost $60. He came home, his father saw it, and told him, in his own words, "if you ever get another one, I'll cut your f***ing head off."

I had to stifle laughter, because the word coming from this old man was so unexpected, yet at the same time, had so much authority, probably because he knew that using that word had impact.

Then, a couple weeks later, there was a guy out behind the store who was taking some of our shopping carts and just pushing them down one of the ramps, watching them crash into the objects below, apparently for no other reason that it was fun or whatever.

This guy was probably 6'2" or so and maybe 270 lbs. I witnessed this. I was moving up to say something to the guy about how he shouldn't do it, when the guy grabbed another cart. Then I hear this loud voice, from Pops, who was down the ramp just where the carts were impacting: "Hey! You push another one of those down here, I'll come up there and kick your f***ing ass." The big dude looked down at him, and then he just started jogging away.

That incident got me thinking. There are thousands of 80 year old men, still alive today, who, in their time, were killers. They went through all kinds of hell to keep our country safe. I doubt Pops could kick the big dude's ass, but that's beside the point. You just KNOW that years ago, he COULD. And HE knows. That's why you hear the occasional story about some elderly dude on a Central American vacation choking a would-be mugger to death.

And so, I've come to the realization that it is always in your best interest not to underestimate old people. Some of them have seen things you cannot begin to comprehend. Let's say you're a thief, and you decide to break into someone's house...they're old, cause you've been casing the house for weeks. You think, hey it's an easy mark...and then you find out that the old dude was a Ranger who scaled the cliffs at Utah, or jumped into Holland on Market Garden, and he's still got his old service 1911. You find out the hard way.

There are lots of WW2 vets in the area where I grew up, and my brother (the one who's in Iraq) went to Boy's State (an academic competition set up by the VFWs), so I've met a few of them, and some of them participate in the annual turkey shoot, where 3 out of 5 in the bullseye means you take a turkey home. They all take a turkey home. They can still shoot.

Never, ever, underestimate an old person. They will mess you up.

Rachel I'm closer so I will do the deed you just provide the alibi and we're good to go!

"I live with a grandmother [my wife]."

Ummm Rick,
You don't live in West Virginia, do you?
I'm sorry, things like that just jump out at me!

Don

I had a neighbor who jumped into Market Garden. He had a neighbor across the alley who had driven a tank in The Big One. Their wives did quite a number on some punks they caught vandalizing said alley.

Rachel,

The custodian at my HS was a first generation Glaswegian who used to be a cop there. At least 70, maybe 5'6" and 150 lbs. He still carried his old nightstick with him, and one day myself and three other young punks were talking with him, and somehow agreed to take part in a demonstration of his skill.

Did I mention that we were young idiots?

4 guys, in full pads and helmets, weighing probably 1000 lbs between us..... got our young *sses kicked. Effortlessly.

Oh, and he had a brogue that made Scotty sound like the BBC. It was amazingly funny listening to him and our two very Southern, very black, cleaning ladies trying to understand one another.

ottconan:

Well, this guy is in his '80's for sure. He was in the Navy in WW2. I found out later he was on the Lexington at Coral Sea, and survived a jump from the flight deck to the sea when the order came to abandon ship.

!

So was my dad. Although he climbed down the ropes instead of jumped.

He was a gunner's mate in the anti-aircraft gun emplacement on the port side forward. I still have the piece of the Japanese airplane he picked up from the deck and put in his pocket before he went over the side.

That is so cool, ricki. Your dad rocks.

Poor darling. I hope she put enough holes in him so that when he takes a drink he spouts like a freakin' fountain. Such a coward to attack an elderly lady like that.