Look out, mother of two comin' through. (Rachel Lucas)

Look out, mother of two comin' through.

Money can't buy happiness. Or class, or brains, or dignity. I know it's wrong and a little bit hateful of me to post this picture, but I've been making lots of you mad with my posts lately so why stop now? I give you Britney Spears, multimillionaire and mother to two poor godforsaken toddlers, walking around in public with her ass hanging out:

And what a fine, sexy ass it is. Just the right amount of dimples in conjunction with a sassy postpartum sagginess. I'd go shopping without pants, too, if my ass looked so fantastic. Especially if I had paparazzi following me 24 hours a day and was in a custody battle for my children like this genius.

At least she's not flashing her actual hoo-hah this time. In case you live under a rock (or have enough smarts to avoid reading gossip blogs), yes, she has done that. Full-on gynecological-exam-quality crotch shots while exiting cars. More than once. After her kids were born.

No one needs to see that except the doctor whom we may fervently hope will be performing her permanent sterilization. Soon.

Posted on August 29, 2007 3:33 PM | Permalink

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Comments (43)

pete in Midland

well, class does end in ASS, doesn't it? Not that shge has any.

I've been living under a rock ... how long has she had this disability to understand C-A-M-E-R-A ?

Posted by pete in Midland | August 29, 2007 3:40 PM

Posted on August 29, 2007 15:40

Alexander

What. The. Fuck?! That (dress?) thing isn't even close to covering what it's supposed to.
Where are the kids I wonder? Oh right, they're locked in the hot car.

Can we just give this outfit to Ann Hathoway or something? Brittany is trying to kill me with this shit. I'm going to mail her a burka.

Posted by Alexander | August 29, 2007 3:46 PM

Posted on August 29, 2007 15:46

Hardliner

I must confess... I'd still tap that ass. Once.

;-P

Posted by Hardliner | August 29, 2007 4:07 PM

Posted on August 29, 2007 16:07

mightysamurai

My eyes!

The goggles do nothing!

Posted by mightysamurai | August 29, 2007 4:19 PM

Posted on August 29, 2007 16:19

Annie

Alexander: "Oh right, they're locked in the hot car."
LMAO!

Posted by Annie | August 29, 2007 4:29 PM

Posted on August 29, 2007 16:29

langtry

I'm convinced that, at some profound level, Britney wants to lose custody of her children. That, or she wants to be the poster girl for Islamists seeking inspiration for destroying The West.

/ Is she the dumbest woman on the planet?

Posted by langtry | August 29, 2007 4:30 PM

Posted on August 29, 2007 16:30

mightysamurai

I must confess... I'd still tap that ass. Once.

If by "tap that ass" you mean "boot her down a flight of stairs", then I agree.

Posted by mightysamurai | August 29, 2007 4:31 PM

Posted on August 29, 2007 16:31

Sugar Ray Dodge

That's gross. Just plain ol' gross.

Posted by Sugar Ray Dodge | August 29, 2007 4:36 PM

Posted on August 29, 2007 16:36

Deborah

These pictures are very wrong on so many levels!

On a completely different note:

"but I've been making lots of you mad with my posts lately so why stop now?"

I don't know if you need any ideas for posts but today is the two year anniversary of Katrina and this article from the NY Times sure has a lot to say on the topic of violence in New Orleans and how no one is doing anything to combat it. I would really love to hear you rip into Ray Nagin and the rest of the local government as only you can.

http://www.nypost.com/seven/08282007/postopinion/opedcolumnists/what_new_orleans_needs_now.htm?page=0

(Sorry I don't know how to list the website as a tag so you just click on a word and it goes to the specific page.)

Posted by Deborah | August 29, 2007 4:36 PM

Posted on August 29, 2007 16:36

mightysamurai

(Sorry I don't know how to list the website as a tag so you just click on a word and it goes to the specific page.)

HTML Tutorial. For All Your Blogging Needs.

Posted by mightysamurai | August 29, 2007 4:44 PM

Posted on August 29, 2007 16:44

HurricaneMikey

Britney used to be the hottest thing going, and now she seems to be losing her MILF status.

It's just a damn shame, I tells ya.

A coupla years back, I'da been humpin' that leg like a randy bulldog, but now... It just looks like she needs a good scrubbin'. Of course, being a guy, I'd still hit it.

But I wouldn't brag about it. Much.

Posted by HurricaneMikey | August 29, 2007 4:46 PM

Posted on August 29, 2007 16:46

Birdman

Geez, just when I thought you were done showing pictures of dogs wearing clothes..... ;-P

Posted by Birdman | August 29, 2007 5:04 PM

Posted on August 29, 2007 17:04

Mister Cantankerous

"I give you Britney Spears, multimillionaire and mother to two poor godforsaken toddler"

HOLY CRAP! When you said two poor godforsaken toddlers I thought you were talking about her ass cheeks in the picture . This circus freak was actually allowed to procreate?

Not for nothing, but I have a better looking ass than that, and I am a 45 year old man. On a side note; Rachel in the future how about a little more warning when you are going to do this kind of thing, I just ate and I would much rather have my testicles yanked than taste my dinner a second time, it just didn't taste right in reverse.

Posted by Mister Cantankerous | August 29, 2007 5:09 PM

Posted on August 29, 2007 17:09

triticale

Those images do not tempt me into thoughts of infidelity. There are plenty of derelict skanks around who do not have all that baggage and publicity attached.

Posted by triticale | August 29, 2007 5:11 PM

Posted on August 29, 2007 17:11

Lance de Boyle

Maybe Britney's butt ate her panties.

Posted by Lance de Boyle | August 29, 2007 5:22 PM

Posted on August 29, 2007 17:22

HurricaneMikey

Me likey derelict skanks!

Well, when I know that nobody is gonna find out, I mean...

Posted by HurricaneMikey | August 29, 2007 5:23 PM

Posted on August 29, 2007 17:23

Phelps

Am I the only one that noticed that her wig doesn't even cover all her stubble? She is starting to look like Curly from the Three Stooges in drag.

Posted by Phelps | August 29, 2007 5:25 PM

Posted on August 29, 2007 17:25

Rickbert

Ok, Rachel, you got us.

I think I can speak for everyone here when I say you have made your point. Sunny looks better in any given item of clothing than Britney does. I beg you to please, please, for the love of all that is holy, go back to posting pics of the pooch in various states of dress/undress.

But please stop with the Britney pics; I just ate before I loaded this page.

Posted by Rickbert | August 29, 2007 6:28 PM

Posted on August 29, 2007 18:28

Fuzz Martin

^ I'm going to go ahead and second everything that The Rickbert just said.

Posted by Fuzz Martin | August 29, 2007 7:46 PM

Posted on August 29, 2007 19:46

TransientlyHere

I'm guessing the person in the wheelchair got a good look at the "hoo-hah", assuming he/she was not unconscious from the toxic fumes emanating therefrom.

Posted by TransientlyHere | August 29, 2007 8:01 PM

Posted on August 29, 2007 20:01

milwife

Good lord. More dog blogging, please.

Posted by milwife | August 29, 2007 8:30 PM

Posted on August 29, 2007 20:30

Sparrow

Maybe Britney's butt ate her panties.

I declare Lance the winner! Best comment today.

And probably true.

Posted by Sparrow | August 29, 2007 9:24 PM

Posted on August 29, 2007 21:24

physics geek

Remember when Britney was hot? And didn't let everyone know that she was dumber than a tree stump? Me neither. I must be thinking of Christina Aguilera.

Posted by physics geek | August 29, 2007 11:18 PM

Posted on August 29, 2007 23:18

Daddyquatro

Why, oh why didn't she do the Playboy gig when it would have been a pleasure rather than a curiosity?

True confession: I bought the Farah Playboy.
I had to. I bought the poster.

Posted by Daddyquatro | August 29, 2007 11:51 PM

Posted on August 29, 2007 23:51

Lance de Boyle

What's going on in the left-side pic?

Looks like she's practicing a dance step.

"Uh one an' uh two..."

I mean, who raises their legs that high when they're walking?

And if you blow up the pic on the right, you can see that the lump on her left cheek, or left buttisphere, is NOT cellulite, but is in fact....

....a hideous boil.

In other words, Britney does not wash her beeehind.

Prolly has in-grown hairs, and pimples, and rashes and stuff, too.

She needs a GI shower.

http://www.answers.com/topic/gi-shower?cat=technology

I'd say the career is pretty much over.

Posted by Lance de Boyle | August 30, 2007 1:33 AM

Posted on August 30, 2007 01:33

Michellecag

Yea I'm gonna have to agree with Rickbert on that one...and possibly scrub my eyes with some..oh I dont know..maybe some bleach*gags*

Rather see Sunny dressed up as a pirate or well anything other than Britney pics.
I'll probably skip breakfast as well...

Posted by Michellecag | August 30, 2007 7:44 AM

Posted on August 30, 2007 07:44

Nathan Brindle

Echh.

Posted by Nathan Brindle | August 30, 2007 7:54 AM

Posted on August 30, 2007 07:54

KitFox_2123

...That's not a dress: it's a SHIRT. I think she has completely lost her mind and forgot to put on her pants but was too stupid, stoned, and/or proud to admit it.

But I can't make fun of her butt, mine doesn't look any better.

Posted by KitFox_2123 | August 30, 2007 8:24 AM

Posted on August 30, 2007 08:24

Elizabeth, Imperial Keeper

Children, can you spell "t-r-a-i-l-e-r t-r-a-s-h?"

I knew you could.

Yech.

Elizabeth
Imperial Keeper

Posted by Elizabeth, Imperial Keeper | August 30, 2007 8:45 AM

Posted on August 30, 2007 08:45

BarSinister

She reminds of two of my favorite country songs: "Trailor Park Woman" and "I like My Women on the Trashy Side"

Posted by BarSinister | August 30, 2007 8:49 AM

Posted on August 30, 2007 08:49

triticale

And if you blow up the pic on the right...

And what, pray tell, were you hoping to see?

Posted by triticale | August 30, 2007 10:01 AM

Posted on August 30, 2007 10:01

MargeinMI

Forcing us to pour bleach into our eyes is just. not. nice.

Posted by MargeinMI | August 30, 2007 11:21 AM

Posted on August 30, 2007 11:21

TransientlyHere

Lance wrote "And if you blow up the pic on the right..."

That was the first thing I did...with C4.
Now my monitor is in a million pieces and there's a hole in the roof. But it's a more attractive hole than the one in the picture.

Posted by TransientlyHere | August 30, 2007 11:37 AM

Posted on August 30, 2007 11:37

MarkD

A few more pounds and our ex-pres will be hovering around. Ugh. Where is the eyeball bleach?

Posted by MarkD | August 30, 2007 12:22 PM

Posted on August 30, 2007 12:22

Vonski

You really have to warn a guy before putting something like that up on the intarweb.

It *almost* makes me want to watch Sex in the City... 3 times in a row. Must. Find. Picture. Of. Jessica. Alba. STAT!

Posted by Vonski | August 30, 2007 1:01 PM

Posted on August 30, 2007 13:01

David Gulliver

VONSKI!!!

Money can't buy the things Rachel listed, but it can buy some damn fine plastic surgery. I'm guessing in a short while we will be seeing photos of the "back in business" Britney Spears... and wondering where her nose went...

Posted by David Gulliver | August 30, 2007 1:51 PM

Posted on August 30, 2007 13:51

Redhead Infidel

I've had nightmares like this: that I'm out in public when all of a sudden I realize I've forgotten to wear my pants or shirt, or worse - both. When the realization hits me, my heart plummets and I practically have a heart attack in my sleep. I know it's a fairly common recurring nightmare, but I haven't taken the time to Google the symbolism, because I'm lazy.

Does no one care enough about this girl to mention to her that her ass is hanging out? I mean, I've seen total strangers walk up to another stranger to whisper that their fly is open, or they've got spinach in their teeth - seems like a fairly decent and polite thing to do. Doesn't she hear the comments among all the paparazzi? There's not one bodyguard or nanny or staff person that would whisper, "Umm...did you know your whole butt is hanging out in the open?"

That's definitely not a "dress", it's a blouse, and I can't even think of her sitting on public chairs or car seats with a completely bare butt. I'm the kind of person that wipes down the bars on grocery carts...I can't imagine wanting my privates smeared with all manner of public germs. Then again, this is the chick who walks into gas station restrooms with no shoes. But still...it's unthinkable.

Posted by Redhead Infidel | August 30, 2007 2:42 PM

Posted on August 30, 2007 14:42

tolbert

Sweet Jesus on a cracker! Now that is just fugly.

Posted by tolbert | August 30, 2007 2:47 PM

Posted on August 30, 2007 14:47

Desert Cat

Yeah, but as trailer trash goes...well I've seen far worse.

Posted by Desert Cat | August 30, 2007 5:00 PM

Posted on August 30, 2007 17:00

Mister Cantankerous

"Yeah, but as trailer trash goes...well I've seen far worse."

How exactly can it get worse than this? Like what; trailing a streamer of toilet paper from where her panties should be, or having a kernel of corn still stuck to her ass?

Posted by Mister Cantankerous | August 30, 2007 5:15 PM

Posted on August 30, 2007 17:15

dsinope

Rachel, please re-consider.

The thing in the pictures has two kids. You're not going to have any?

You're going to leave the future of the world in the hands of HER KIDS?

Rachel, I have 2, ages 3 and 0. I would very much like my kids to live in the same world as your kids.

Posted by dsinope | August 30, 2007 5:50 PM

Posted on August 30, 2007 17:50

Annie

TransientlyHere Said: “...with C4.”
OHHHH!!!! You’re my new hero!

Posted by Annie | August 30, 2007 6:06 PM