Muhammad was a flaming swishy homo. A nancyboy, frankly. (Rachel Lucas)

Muhammad was a flaming swishy homo.
A nancyboy, frankly.

Those crazy gays. At a "Pride" parade in Ireland, one of them held up a placard that said "Jesus is a Fag." The guy that did it says:

"I believe that a 33-year-old unmarried rabbi living in Israel, in the time that he was living and having a favourite friend among the apostles called John, was quite clearly a gay man," he said.
"I am entitled to that belief as a gay Christian. Christ, if he were alive today, would be on the parade with us, on the side of the underprivileged, not standing superciliously at the side looking on like Christopher."

Hold it right there Sally. Did you just synonymize "gay" with "underprivileged"? Good grief, is that what we're calling every single demographic group except straight white guys in suits? Whatever, the point is, he thinks Jeebus was a queer. Is that a giant collective yawn I hear from Christendom? What, you guys aren't going to issue a fatwa on this guy and start burning shit down in a spazoid paroxysm of righteous indignance?

The Irish council-guy who IS all hot, bothered, and worked up into a glistening sweat of holy offense about this said:

"If such provocative claims were made against Muhammad, Muslims would rightly be up in arms."

Rightly? How about NO on that. How about everyone needs to chill the fuck out about what some random wanker says about their worship-object of choice. How about you don't start asking Christians to behave like psychotic rage-monkeys every time they get offended. Leave that shit to the Koran Kool-Aid Drinkers.

Anyway, I am totally turned on by the idea of making provocative claims about the sexual predilections of Islam's One True Prophet. So here: Muhammad enjoyed a large harem of goats and boys. He preferred the boys but sometimes you just don't want any backtalk.

Posted on August 10, 2007 11:52 AM | Permalink

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Comments (26)

Phelps

I have met a lot of queers, and only one of them would qualify as "underprivileged." And even he was able to score free room and board at will.

Posted by Phelps | August 10, 2007 12:04 PM

Posted on August 10, 2007 12:04

puckman

Muhammond couldn't even score with goats and boys.

He was a do-it-yourselfer that was doubly damned cause he used his right hand!

Posted by puckman | August 10, 2007 12:10 PM

Posted on August 10, 2007 12:10

tolbert

So one day Mohammed was out with his posse on jihad. It had been a long jihad and they had been without consort for many days.

Mohammed's brother-in-law spied a goatherd and his goats across a river.

One by one the jihadis swam across the river and started to have sex with the goats. But Mohammed stayed behind. Finally he could not bear it anymore and swam across the river and ran as fast as he could and started fucking the first goat he could grab.

The jihadis started laughing as hard as they could. Mohammed was taken aback and shouted at the jihadis, "Why are you laughing?, isn't this what you were also doing?"

"Yes, replied the jihadis, but you picked the ugly one!"

Then Mohammed finished fucking the goat, then he fucked the jihadis, then he fucked the goatherd, then he fucked the goats a little more.

The moral of this story?

Mohammed was a goatfucker.

Posted by tolbert | August 10, 2007 12:11 PM

Posted on August 10, 2007 12:11

gcotharn

Jesus was one of those self-hating homosexuals.

Muhammad was a flaming homo. How else to describe a man who wears a brightly colored glorified kimono; flies around on a winged horse; and married an 8 year old girl? That marriage was just for show! The little girl was his beard! Eeeverybody knew what the real score was. Muhammad was not the rapist of a little girl! He just pretended to be, for the sake of appearances...

Art images of Muhammad, including several of him on his flying horse: Buraq. There's something about a man on a flying horse...

Posted by gcotharn | August 10, 2007 12:38 PM

Posted on August 10, 2007 12:38

fargus

I have no opinion on his gender preferences. It has been pretty well proven, though, that Muhammad's "revelations from Allah" were the results of epileptic seizures. Fine thing to base a religion on, eh?

Just one of many hits if you google it:
http://www.faithfreedom.org/Articles/sina41204.htm

Posted by fargus | August 10, 2007 12:52 PM

Posted on August 10, 2007 12:52

"He preferred the boys but sometimes you just don't want any backtalk."

Or bahhhhhhcktalk.

Oh that was horrible.

Posted by De | August 10, 2007 1:01 PM

Posted on August 10, 2007 13:01

Hardliner

dude ought to be shot...

color m not amused. :-/

Posted by Hardliner | August 10, 2007 1:02 PM

Posted on August 10, 2007 13:02

Cosmo

Obviously Sally has never read the DaVinci Code. We all know Jesus and Mary were married.

He must be too engrossed in his reading of "Adam and Steve in the Garden of Gayden".

Posted by Cosmo | August 10, 2007 1:18 PM

Posted on August 10, 2007 13:18

Sid

First off, Rachel, I love your site. The Mrs. and I have followed since the early days, through your BEI phase, and then missed you horribly in your absence (okay, fine, we missed Sunny a little more). You make us LOFAO and speak largely to what we we think about the world.

As a Christian, I'm used to seeing this behavior (other believers making Christ in their own image). It doesn't so much make me mad and want to "rightly take up arms" (what an ass) as it makes me sad. Then, whaddaya know, I'm over it and right back. :)

Phelps: likewise. Most of the close friends I've had over the years whohappentobegaynotthattheresanythingwrongwiththat are far more financially successful than myself.

Posted by Sid | August 10, 2007 2:06 PM

Posted on August 10, 2007 14:06

KitFox_2123

This goes for any and all people who believe in any form of higher power:

IF you are the follower of the One True Path and Your God can beat up My God, then shut the hell up and wait for Armageddon or whatever to prove you right. Silencing dissidence, or even attempting to, is a sure-fire method to make other people think that your beliefs cannot hold up under the most cursory scrutiny.

Posted by KitFox_2123 | August 10, 2007 2:20 PM

Posted on August 10, 2007 14:20

k2aggie07

You know, in every single one of fargus' images mohammed's head is covered in fire.

What I'm saying here is that even 15th century arab artists knew he was a flamer.

Posted by k2aggie07 | August 10, 2007 2:54 PM

Posted on August 10, 2007 14:54

Carl

Goats - no way, that's nasty. Sheep! He liked the sheep. And drinking camel urine...

Posted by Carl | August 10, 2007 3:24 PM

Posted on August 10, 2007 15:24

evvybuns

The worst that could have possibly happened to the guy with the placard was that some old nun may have beaten the hell out of him.

Posted by evvybuns | August 10, 2007 4:07 PM

Posted on August 10, 2007 16:07

Brian_Thorn

"How else to describe a man who wears a brightly colored glorified kimono; flies around on a winged horse; and married an 8 year old girl? That marriage was just for show!"

Um, Michael Jackson? Oh shit thats right, you said 8 year old girl, not 8 year old boy. My bad. Sorry.

Nevermind.

Have fun ;)!

Posted by Brian_Thorn | August 10, 2007 5:04 PM

Posted on August 10, 2007 17:04

fargus

[quote]You know, in every single one of fargus' images mohammed's head is covered in fire.[/quote]

Huh? I didn't post any images...

Posted by fargus | August 10, 2007 5:38 PM

Posted on August 10, 2007 17:38

Milton

Damn, and I was really thinking of something really smart to say and after reading all the other posts I couldn't think of a thing. You guy sure hit the nail on the head.

Posted by Milton | August 10, 2007 8:00 PM

Posted on August 10, 2007 20:00

Milton

On second thought, has anybody noticed the ads that appeared along side all of these comments?

I think RL is tied into the whole media bunch. They hang onto her every blog.

Posted by Milton | August 10, 2007 8:03 PM

Posted on August 10, 2007 20:03

Daddyquatro

Did someone mention a flying white horse?

Posted by Daddyquatro | August 10, 2007 10:38 PM

Posted on August 10, 2007 22:38

Paul Y.

When I look to the right I see a lot of gay and Muhamaad but what's up with the pic of Harry Potter?

Hahahahaha...

Posted by Paul Y. | August 10, 2007 10:44 PM

Posted on August 10, 2007 22:44

rick

The camel carried men and their goods and supplies all over the middle east before the introduction of the automobile. BUT they were called the 'ships of the desert' because they were usually full of arab semen [seaman].

Posted by rick | August 11, 2007 6:24 AM

Posted on August 11, 2007 06:24

Sloan

I'm with Sid on this one. After all the abuse that is regularly heaped on Christianity and Christendom in general, we're sort of used to it. Like Sid, it makes me sad, but hey, we were told to expect this kind of treatment.

And KitFox, what you describe is more or less the position of the Church in the 21st century. Most of us are pan-millennialists: we believe it's all going to pan out in the end, so we're not interested in waging jihad. Radical Muslims seem to be laboring under the assumption that the evangelistic practices that worked so well for them in the 9th century are still going to work today.

One more thing: I've known a fairly good number of gay men in my life, and NONE of them were on welfare. Two of them live a couple of doors down from me on our quiet little street here in Atlanta. I think they've done quite well for themselves, considering the treatment they'd get in OTHER corners of the world.

Posted by Sloan | August 11, 2007 6:56 AM

Posted on August 11, 2007 06:56

Sloan

The Internet rawks. A quick search revealed the following:

The average household income for gay people is $61,300 compared with $56,900 for heterosexuals (see Figure 1). The income gap for men is negligible -- but gay women earn $6,600 a year more than straight women do. Nineteen percent of both gay men and women have post-graduate degrees, compared with 14% of heterosexual men and 12% of heterosexual women.

From the following report. Registration is free.
http://www.forrester.com/ER/Research/Brief/Excerpt/0,1317,17004,00.html

Posted by Sloan | August 11, 2007 7:04 AM

Posted on August 11, 2007 07:04

Basil Riverdale

Seriously folks, I've been to the Middle East so I'm qualified offer a few insights based on the experience.

1. Rape is a cultural norm in the Arab world. The difference being that a woman victim is considered the guilty party.

2. Women are kept secluded at home to prevent rape. In public they must be veiled head to foot and in the company of a male realative. This is understoood to be the proper defense against rape.

3. In a society where women are absent from public life, boys tend to have their first sexual experiences with one another. However, the word "gay" is not part of the lexicon. The activity is considered "normal".

4. "Women are for childbearing; boys are for pleasure." I heard this frequently in Egypt. Take a stroll through some of the more liberal Arab ports like Alexandria or Tunis and you'll see lots of European homosexuals on vacation. Any guesses why? Any guess why Michael Jackson chose Bahrain for his exile?

5. Homosexual activity is condemned in the Koran. This prohibition is simply ignored. Every religion I can think of has attempted to control human sexual desire, most without success because the innate drive is stronger than the fear used to control it.

6. The ugly truth was revealed at a trial in (I think?) Denver a few months back. The Arab man convicted of rape and imprisonment of his Fillipino housemaid blurted out something to the effect that "you are criminalizing something that is normal behaviour in my culture."

It's a nasty culture full of nasty brutal people. Where are the feminists when you really need them? Throw in sexual mutilation of women and you have an issue worthy of indictment by the whole world. United Nations? Femdom? NGO's? Don't hold your breath.

Posted by Basil Riverdale | August 11, 2007 10:45 AM

Posted on August 11, 2007 10:45

CastoCreations

Scary Basil...but you're right.

I love the Google Ads...Gay Counseling, Muhammed Ringtones, and Soap. ROFL

Posted by CastoCreations | August 11, 2007 11:26 PM

Posted on August 11, 2007 23:26

Kacie

CastroCreations, I suppose you have to buy the soap before you can drop it.

Posted by Kacie | August 12, 2007 8:51 PM

Posted on August 12, 2007 20:51

Keith