Forgotten my children in the car? I assume that it's permissible to say Fuck No! How stupid do you have to be?

I will admit to having forgotten to buckle a child in before starting the car. I find that, with two, some things get blended together when herding them like cats into the car. But my wife or the kids always remind me. But actually forgetting and leaving them in the car? I don't smoke crack or huff glue, so I'm going to say that it's unlikely absent a baseball bat whacking me upside the head.

My son is 10 and I have yet to forget him anywhere!

No. I have however been forgotten at work when they had the car!

I've never forgotten about my kids anytime, anywhere. They are 6 and 3. And I do not have superhuman powers of memory either, as one of the commenters in the previous post suggested. Crikey.

Never have I forgotten anytime. Besides, neither of my daughters ever shut up long enough for anyone to forget them.

Three kids. I'm 0-for-3 in the "Forgotten in the Car" category. Of course my kids treat the car like an echo chamber...you know, the ones that amplify sound? So they like to test the sound-resonating principles of the faux wood/plastic/felt interior by screaming loudly as we gleefully travel from point A to point B.

I may forget them in the car someday, but that will most likely be after I've lost all hearing. Until then, there's no way in hell I'd even be able to forget them. Ignore them? Yes. Forget? Not likely.

Absolutely not. Nope. Never forgotten the kids. Don't see how that's even possible.

My daughter is 3 and I have never forgotten her in the car. I have developed a terrible memory since I became a mother. As in someone tells me something and five minutes later I am asking the question to that answer. But I have never ever forgotten my child in the car!! My ex-husband was in the military and had to be at work at 4AM and since we only had one car I would drive him. And guess what? I had to get myself out of bed at 3:15 to wake him up and then bundle myself and my daughter up (we lived in the arctic otherwise known as Duluth, MN) and get in the car. I was exhausted but I always remembered to bring her back inside. Has anyone used the word "duh" yet?? Rachel you are 100% Right!!!

I have three girls.

Forgotten in the car? No, never. Left them in the car (without keys and doors locked) for about 3 minutes while I ran into the 7-11 so they wouldn't tear the place down? GUILTY. But, since it was about 1981, and they are now 33, 31 and 28, I believe the statute of limitations has run out on that one.

Elizabeth
Imperial Keeper

wow. my kids are now 20, 17 and 14. i have never forgotten them in any vehicle or anywhere. my oldest's bio father did forget the time to get her from the airport once and she was traumatized for days, but in a car?

i can only assume, that these people are the sames ones who are in the habit of leaving the kids in the car "for just a minute" to run into a store or something. i NEVER did. if i left the car, the kids did too.

now, the tthib said has happened to me on occasion also - one of the kids has the car, i'm at work, and there i remain because they have forgotten me. that's irony for you!

never forgot them, but one time I didn't shut the door all the way, and she fell out of her carseat, because she hated being buckled in, and it was just a short trip, and fell in the parking lot. It was horrifying. This was in the day before all the car seat regulations that we have these days.

I have a 6 month old baby. I believe that pregnancy and birth give you swiss-cheese brain and I forget a lot of things. I have never ever left my son in the car alone though. He may fall asleep and get really quiet, but I somehow always manage to remember he's back there.

However, my life is 90% baby-centric. Maybe if someone was as selfish as hell, totally preoccupied with something else, and heartless, I can see how they might.... Nope. I just can't see it. You'd have to be a total idiotic moron or a cruel heartless idiot to leave your kids... I mean, "forget" your kids in the car.

No, but the other day I pulled my truck out of the drive way and left it idling so I could drive the other car. I got a phone call, one thing led to another and I drove off in the car and left my truck sitting there idling for the 2 1/2 hours before my wife got home! Does that count? Call CPS (car protection agency), I should have my truck taken away from me for it's own protection!! But I haven't forgotten the kids yet, there 9 & 10 now so there's not much chance of forgetting or ignoring the constant and unrelenting goings on of two brothers!!

My son is 5, and I (nor has his father) have never forgotten him in a car or anywhere else.
I am on Team Bullshit that every parent has done this at least once.

I haven't forgotten my children (4 & almost 2) in the car. I did lock my then 2 month old in the car with the keys at dh's office. So I called his cell phone and he brought down his set of keys. I admit I was in a panic at that point and was believing that I was THE WORST PARENT IN HISTORY. She's four now and not scarred from the incident. At no point though, did I leave the car (thank goodness for cell phones).

I'm sorry I don't buy the whole "Oh, I just forgot." You can forget where your keys are and to pick up the dry cleaning but a child is different. I don't understand it, and I don't attempt to understand it either

My college roommate's brother didn't get left in the car, but he did get left behind at a gas station in Texas when the family was on vacation when he was 8.

They had six kids and they were travelling in two cars (to add to the confusion), and it was two hours (the next rest stop) before they realized he was missing, and then of course two more hours to get back to where he was. He wasn't too traumatized, but I think he became a serial killer. Or a lawyer, I can't remember.

My daughter is 21 now, and I never forgot her anywhere. That goes for pets, passengers, and my wife too!

Nope, never forgotten the kid.

I have however forgotten that the wife was picking him up from daycare and sent the ladies there into a panic since he wasn't there and I was. They still mock me for the couple of minutes I sent the place into lockdown.

But forget him in the car, nope.

No I have never "forgotten" my two sons anywhere (or anyone else’s kids) at anytime.

Hell I wouldn't even consider letting them stay in the car alone by themselves while I run in to grab a cup of Joe on the go until they were 15 and nearly old enough to drive themselves, and even then I take the keys and lock the door.

Your children are supposed to the most precious, priceless, cared for part of your existence, even more valuable than your own life. They are not something you casually leave on the backseat like a road map.

WTF?

I just tried to comment on the "Baby cookers" pst but it said that I was not signed in even though I AM signed in. Oh well, I'll try again here.

Rachel I NEVER forgot my kids in the car when they were small, and neither did my ex wife.

Believe it or not, this type of thing has happened here in Tulsa MORE THAN ONCE. The first time a few years ago, resulted in the parent being crucified in the local media and court. As they have occurred since though, the public reaction has gone from white hot "Hand the bum" to a bored "Damn, it happed again".

I have dealt with a large number of incredibly BAD parents over my years in the police profession, and have seen some horrific and indescribable things done to children by the people who were supposed to "protect" them. BAD parents also seem to be multiplying exponentially these days. Usually though, these "left in the car" incidents don't involve what I would normally think of as a "bad parent". Often they are very good parents who have just gotten overwhelmed in their daily lives.

Don't construe this as making excuses for them though. Even if they only commit one abusive act (by ommission) and it is wholly unintentional, they should be charged with negligent manslaughter and have their other children removed from the home.

Ooops, that should have been HANG in the "hand the bum" phrase, dang it.

Oh and how about "Damn, it happened again" instead of "Damn, it happed again" (what is up with my proofreading today?)

Never!!! but then again in my day as a parent, we were allowed to have our children in our line of sight and not relegated to the back seat with the groceries and other luggage. In my day as a child we bounced all over the car, stood up, fought with each other, climbed in the back window area.... we survived except for the occasional "Don't MAKE me stop this car and come back there!!" from the parents in the front seat.

Even so, I just can't understand how you could forget you are a parent or that you have another living being in the car with you.

People think more about their laptops than their children it seems.

I have never forgotten that my son was in the car, and anyone that says they do needs to have their parenting skills questioned.

I have never left my step-daughter in the car. She was two and a half when I entered her life. Neither her father nor I have ever forgotten her.

Once, when she was four, I let her sit in the car while I ran back into the house to retrieve a forgotten item... but even then I was paranoid the entire minute she was out of my site.

My mother once left me in the car, in the driveway, when I was maybe 3. I had fallen asleep in the car, and she didn't want to disturb me (I was not a good napper). I remember waking up alone and terrified and commenced crying and screaming, which brought my mother out of the house to retrieve me. I remember the incident, but I wouldn't say I'm scarred by it, any more than I could claim to be scarred by the time I fell out of the car at age 4 (not wearing seat belt, leaning against door).

I live in Florida. It gets hot. I don't even want to leave a potted plant in the car, let alone my kid or a pet!

If you placed your child in the car seat ON THE ROOF OF THE CAR and drove off, technically you had the kid with you so that doesn’t count. This actually happened in Worcester, Mass about 15 or 20 years ago. The seat with kid in it slid off the roof onto the highway. All traffic stopped and the driver did retrieve the baby, unharmed. Someone was watching over that kid.

My daughter is 38 now and I haven’t forgotten her yet. I am guilty of putting her in one of those old fashioned metal car seats that just tucked under the seat back and had a little steering wheel and horn. They were popular back in the stone ages. She still tells me what a bad parent I was.

I have two kids, now 14 and 12. Never left them in a car.
I find it interesting that the lady in the story Rachel linked to is an assistant principal at a middle school. If my kid went to that school (youngest is in middle school right now) I'd demand she was fired. Someone that irresponsible with her own children has no right to be overseeing other peoples children.

Hey Rach;

Single moom of 3 boys and I've never forgotten them once. Usually they are too loud to forget, but my oldest is now 23, youngest is 10. What could be more important to think about than the safety of your kids, I also call BS.

Given the tone of all of the comments in this thread and yesterday's, what parent would come in here and voluntarily admit to having forgotten their child. I don't think your survey's going to be terribly reliable, Rachel... ;-)

LOL Pat

My mom left us in the car all the time...because we DEMANDED that she do so. I think I was around 9 or 10 at the time she started giving in...I liked to read so I'd sit in the car and read while she got a haircut or grocery shopped. The doors were locked. I knew how to use the horn. And that was even before cell phones!

I don't have kids but I talked to my coworker who does and she cannot fathom forgetting a child in a car. She has forgotten to buckle in her oldest, but never forgotten either child.

It's just sick.

I don't have children, but I've never even left my cheap MP3 player in a hot car.

Unless you're a fucking retard (in which case you should neither be driving NOR pro-creating), you should not be able to excuse leaving your child in the car for any reason. ANY REASON.

Obviously, if you accidentally close your front door before unlocking the back door to remove the child, and your keys just happen to be inside - well, shit happens, and that's what locksmiths are for. Just hope they get there quickly, and DON'T LEAVE THE VEHICLE.

But going into a store and leaving your kid to bake with the windows up for 2 or 3 hours? And "forgetting" that you brought them with you? Punishment: locked in an oven set to 150 degrees until death by asphyxiation. Whoops, we forgot you were in there. Our bad.

Forgotten in the car? Nope. While I know too well the fatigue-induced zombie state that living with an infant can cause, I've never forgotten that he was with me. Ok, maybe once, but that was during the drive, not after I parked the car.

I did, however, once put my infant son, in his carseat, on the roof of the car. I had to clear out some papers, toys and other debris from the back seat, so I, unthinkingly, put the carseat on the roof to clear it out. In my fatigued state, I forgot why I was clearing the back seat out and opened the passenger-side door to get in the car.

Wife: "Where's our son?"
Me: "OMG!!!!"

I never did that again. To this day, I don't remember why I decided at that moment to put the carseat on the roof of the car.

I also once fell asleep while holding him in my arms. I was sitting on the sofa and had just fed and burped him, when we both fell asleep. We were peacefully sleeping together, with him in the crook of my arm, when my arm slipped and he rolled down my legs onto the floor. He was 4(?) months old. He was fine, luckily, but my heart skipped quite a few beats.

There goes my Parent of the Year Award, hunh? :-/

No. My parents did, to their horror and our everlasting amusement, come back from K-Mart once without my sister. We were almost home when somebody piped up, "Where's Carol?"

Hey, big Catholic family, it's easy to misplace one.

UPDATE: That's what I thought. We're 23 for 23 on a big fat NO so far. Thankyouverymuch.

In fairness, you made an anonymous poll on the internet. How reliable did you expect it to be?

Since I was one of the people who said they could understand forgetting a child in a car, I feel I should explain myself.

What I meant was, I can understand how and why someone could forget their child in a car. But that in no way means I excuse anyone who forgets their child in a car for 10 bloody hours.

Understanding is not nearly the same thing as justifying.

I understand how a parent could do this in the same way I understand Hitler.

Hitler was an antisemitic fucktard who, if there were any justice in this universe, would have been gunned down in the street back in the 1920s. That's all you need to know to understand the man.

Similarly, parents who let their child die in a car are worthless pieces of barely human filth who should be chemically castrated by the state. Or maybe we could go the Biblical route by tying a millstone around their necks and throwing them into the sea. Yeah, that one sounds good to me.

Do accidents happen? Sure, all the time. I've had lots of accidents. At least two of them were crazy-bad accidents that almost cost lives.

But of all the accidents I've had, I can't think of a single one that wasn't at least partially my fault.

If someone inadvertently dies because you were doing something stupid, technically it's still an accident. But it still could have been prevented if you were less stupid.

I've never forgotten them. Can't imagine doing so. But after reading the comments, I'm not sure I'd admit it if I had. Sleep deprivation and hormones can do things to your brain. I've been so sleep deprived, I didn't trust myself to drive.

Never forgotten them. Wouldn't even let them wait in the (locked) car while I grocery shopped — despite the whining and begging — until they were in middle school. That only happened because we live in a small town now. If we were still living in NYC, they'd never be out of my sight in public.

mightysamurai: "If someone inadvertently dies because you were doing something stupid, technically it's still an accident. But it still could have been prevented if you were less stupid."

Couldn't agree more, although I would add that we are fast becoming a society whose people seem to interpret 'self esteem' as 'self-centered absorption'. Most of these 'accidents' could have also been prevented if the parents had paid attention to something other than themselves and their schedules.

Yeah, Rachel. I forgot mine. He died.

Feel better now?

Speaking of baking our children...
Rachel, did you hear about the Orlando case a few months ago of the woman who put her baby into the oven and turned the oven on while the father of the baby moved out?
http://pereiraville.com/scribble/index.php/2007/04/12/to-serve-man-infant/

Punishment: a legal slap on the wrist.

I have no faith in our legal system.

Just kidding.

My daughter just turned 3. I have never forgotten her in a car, the house, the mall, a shopping cart, the zoo, ANYWHERE! AND... I'm a single dad. Hell, I get nervous if I even turn my head away from the shopping cart when we're at the grocery store. Anybody who says that 'everybody does it' is either tied for being the worst parent on the planet, does not care about his or her own kids, or is simply trying to justify their own stupidity. Fahk!

Nope, never forgot my daughter.

Well, I never had babies/ toddlers/ young preschoolers ('cause I acquired children - 7 years and 13 years respectively - in a merger).

Maybe it's because I was stepdad, but I always had what I think of as a "kid alert" level; a intentional awareness of where they were and what they were doing while I was responsible for them, as well as solid information on where they were and who *was* responsible if I was not. "Kid alert" ranged from "1" (kids are in another city visiting relatives with with mom, have as many beers as you want) to "5" (14-year-old daughter is not where she said she'd be spending the night, probably at no-count, too-old-for-her boyfriend's house, check magazine, chamber round, let's roll).

I was always acutely aware of my "kid alert" level so I rarely made a bad call.

What I'd really like to know is if the 'kid left in hot car to die' phenomenon is a relatively new development.

I suspect there have always been a non-trivial number of people who've done stupid, neglectful and/or abusive things with their kids. I further suspect that the incidence of this behavior in the U.S. is lower than in the children-as-property, no-child-labor-laws past, but now the media and info technology makes it possible for people all over the country to be outraged by a single incident that makes it all seem worse than it really is(and for politicians to propose a top-down, one-size-fits-all Federal solution to the "problem").

In another age, only the neighborhood or perhaps the city would know and the outrage would end there.

(For the record, no-count, too-old-for-her boyfriend fled *his own apartment* through the back door and at a dead run when we pulled up. Heh.)

NO. Never. My son is only 2 1/2, so I guess I still have time to forget him, but I can't imagine it. One commenter may have hit on it, though: The difference between SAHMs and day-care moms. I stay at home and there's never any taking-to or dropping-off anywhere. It's so rare that I'm without him that being out by myself makes me feel uneasy -- like I've forgotten him when I haven't.

You'd think the media would be far more understanding of people who forget their kids in the car. After all, the media has forgotten all about 9/11 and a host of other important things.

I have no kids. Don't want them. Did my parents ever forget me? NOT ONCE. So, put them down in your poll on my behalf. And the one time I ran away, c. age 4, they noticed my absence IMMEDIATELY and went right into action. That's because they pay attention.

I blame that damn "Home Alone" movie for all of these problems. The movie takes an EXTREMELY serious problem of leaving town and forgetting one of your kids and turns it into some funny warm-heated "oh, isn't this a great experience for the kid who gets to act like a grownup and mommy is reeeeeeeally sorry when she comes back home" and throws in some whacky Coyote-Roadrunner stunts for comic effect.

Screw that. When I saw the movie I was horrified and refused to watch the sequels. Mom should have gone to prison and the kids sent to live with relatives who act responsibly.

Nope, I've never forgotten any of my five children in the car at any age.

Well, that's not entirely true. I left my 23-year-old hungover Marine son to sleep in the back seat once, but he deserved what he got. And I didn't forget him, I left him there on purpose. :)

Couldn't agree more, although I would add that we are fast becoming a society whose people seem to interpret 'self esteem' as 'self-centered absorption'. Most of these 'accidents' could have also been prevented if the parents had paid attention to something other than themselves and their schedules.

It's not the "accidents" that bother me so much as the "intentionals" (if that's a word).

Like I said on the previous thread, I have the dubious honor of knowing what happens to the kids with truly sadistic and psychotic parents. It's one thing to "forget" your child and allow it to die in a hot car. It's a whole other level of monstrousness to try to beat your child to death with a two-by-four.

My kids don't sleep in the car and I've always sat in the back with them while someone else drove (I don't drive) so I guess my vote doesn't count. :P

OMGZ I don't know what it's like then!!! Amen to that.

Screw that. When I saw the movie I was horrified and refused to watch the sequels. Mom should have gone to prison and the kids sent to live with relatives who act responsibly.

It still kills me that the mother in Home Alone actually called the police, told them that she left her son alone in a house while the rest of the family went on vacation, and all the cops did was send one officer over to knock on the door and leave.

Never. Never forgot them in the car, or lost them in the store, etc. Never forgot to pick them up from an after-school function, or from a playdate, or whatever. (Cripes, I've turned into a responsible adult! Who'da thunk it? And it took less than a half-century!)

The only time one ever got loose was when the in-laws failed to listen to repeated explicit instructions to ALWAYS throw the deadbolt after coming in the door. One day Grandma in-law didn't. The toddler made it most of a block before being snagged by a neighbor, with me in hot pursuit. I was in the bathroom, came out and saw the door open, counted heads, and left a hole in the air going out the door.

The neighbor only beat me to the kid because he giggled and ran when I came running.

Since then I have NO problem with the in-laws.

I have a 7 year old and a 10 year old. Never forgotten them in the car, never fucking would. Anyone making excuses for this fuckstick behavior is a complete liar, or a hairy-legged Berkeley-sucking she-man who would apologize to slime for us daring to crawl out of it.

Out. of. the. boat.

Never.

Never. The closest I ever got was the morning I forgot to drop my daughter off at day care and almost took her to work with me. After a couple of minutes, I realized my mistake and turned back.

I call BS on the daycare moms defence, my wife and I have a 2 1/2 year old that I have shuttled to and from daycare every weekday for the last yar and a half and despite my shift-work induced haze, and the fact that different errands are sprinkled liberally through the daily commute I have NEVER forgotten my daughter in the car.

Honestly, if I can remember to bring my wallet with me each day, then I can check the back seat before locking the car and walking away from it.

There's no excuse for that level of stupidity or carelessness, it's clearly one or the other.

"He wasn't too traumatized, but I think he became a serial killer. Or a lawyer, I can't remember."

Sparrow, a serial killer I can live with, but a lawyer?? Oh, the horror, the horror! heh..

Given all the times I've forgotten about my wallet and had it go through the washer, it's probably best that I don't have children.

They'd probably be clean and fluffy, though.

Nope, kept track of three under 5 without too much difficulty. It was when they were older that they could sneak off.

I think what we're looking at is more a common fear than a common occurrance. Most parents have this general fear every once in a while (often triggered by those cooked kid stories) that, in a moment of carelessness or inattention, they might cause the death of their child. The fact that, barring genuine accident, it takes carelessness or inattention extended to the point of negligence for most of these tragedies to occur doesn't register right away; sadness and fear interdicts reason in these cases.
The fear is saying, "there, but for the grace of God, go I."
If these same people reasoned it out, the saying would be, "There, but for the fact that I'm not a self-centered, negligent asswipe, go I."