Yanno....it's a good thing she's pretty.

I can't imagine being the parent of this child. How completely embarrased must they be at this? Either that or they're oblivious anyway...most likely the latter since they probably think this whole pageant thing is cool.

One good thing though....I've heard this clip on three...count 'em...three separate nationally syndicated radio shows today. She's done. Good night and good luck.

Sweet Jesus that's entertainment!

You know what happened here Rachel, she had been coached to say shit about Iraq and South Africa (for some reason) and was completely fucking bewildered when a simple unrelated question was asked. So instead of, you know, stopping and thinking for a quick moment she whipped out a few key words and then tried to string them together with the question; the result was the ugliest verbal Frankenstein I've ever seen.

The whole thing really came out looking like how a hardcore liberal tries to debate.

"Bush, because education.....oil is like Iraqi Rove!!1"

It's like when those dogs on America's Funniest Home videos say "I love you". They're just sounds, not understanding.

O.K.

Am I the only one thinking that this post is tailor made for Lance de Boyle to chime in with some wildly inappropriate and sexuallly based innuendo?

Waitin on ya Lance!

Seriously, Rachel: does she sound any less fatuous than the average Management Consultant? Those guys value "thinking on their feet" (a/k/a talking cliche-laden B.S. while trying not to let on that they don't have an answer), and can leave you feeling as if you don't remember what the original question was. Considering she has these skills at age 16, isn't an MBA in her future?

**Sorry to the MBA's: I know there are smart, non-jargon speaking ones out there!**

Sweet Jesus, I can drink a fifth of whiskey and be more coherent than that.

Notice how excited and accommodating A.C. Slater is as he tells her "thank you" after the ship finally sinks.

He's probably thinking: "Well, she's too stupid to be believed when she goes public with what I tried to do to her last night. Screech is never gonna believe my luck!"

Okay...don't make fun of ALL beauty pageant participants. I admit (head hung in shame) that I participated at the age of 20 in the county Miss America Pageant. I was 50 pounds lighter then. *sigh*

Know why I didn't win? :) I came in first runner up because the pageant committee (judges) thought I was too opinionated!!!!!! ROFL I said what I thought (and had actual educated opinions) instead of what was politically correct or sounded good.

This girl is a moron and would probably never make it to the final Miss America Pageant where the women have to have *ACTUAL* brains and/or talent in order to win. Not too many brains, mind you. :)

I have to say I feel badly for her, because she's on the spot in front of an audience and front of a TV camera, and she had to think on her feet and reply instantly. It was a terribly stupid answer, and she's got to live with that 5 seconds for the rest of her life now.

It's a good thing for me that I haven't been put in that situation or I'd sound a lot dumber. I know I've said some dumb things in my life that I'm glad are not on tape.

And Einstein finished 3rd runner up! I'd hate to be one of the girls who lost out to her, for cryin out loud.

...ugliest verbal Frankenstein I've ever seen. -Alexander

Like such as yesss!

I am gobsmacked. That is truly one of the most remarkable performances I have ever seen.

There are over a thousand comments on this clip at Youtube about how stupid and inarticulate this girl is, and I agree. Yet ironically most of those comments bashing her are just as incoherent as she was:

"well i was saying thats one way the snetence cud hav been phrased better but ppl to me havent realize people in america are blind not just 1 or 2 thousands even more therefor that could have been the 1/5 well thats just my opinion"

Wow. I don't know how some of those people managed to turn on their computer, let alone comment.

I, for one, took great delight in viewing this video. Nothing gives me greater delight than watching the fruits of retards breeding. I would wager that mom and dad are not only NOT embarrassed (they wouldn't realize that what their daughter said was pure jibba jabba), but they were proud because she looked so good on stage.

Pick your stereotype here folks...dumb blonde or idoit southerner...

Alexander...nice touch adding the "1" at the end to show true excitement! Whoo!

er...Whoo!!!!!!!!!!1!1

My idea of a perfect date would be April 25th. It's not too hot and not too cold and you can get by with a light sweater.

Eh, I'll give her the benefit of the doubt unless I see her answer at least one or two more questions in a similarly stupid way.

I'm sure many here will disagree, but it seems to me that she was either surprised by a question she had not prepared for or she blanked out from the pressure (after all, she is standing on a stage in front of thousands of people while being broadcast on national television).

Just answer me this: What would any of you guys have said in response to that question? Keep in mind that any answer that is overly "opinionated" or "controversial" will likely cost you points, which could easily cost you the win.

Another Hugh Hefner girlfriend in the making ....

JUDGE: "Recent polls have shown a fifth of Americans can’t locate the U.S. on a world map. Why do you think this is?"

MISS TEEN SC. "Uh, because the U.S. is too BIG to fit on a map, silly goose. The U.S. is 3000 miles across. How could you put it on a map. Try thinking before you ask stupid questions, mmm'kay?"

JUDGE. "So, that's your answer?"

MISS TEEN SC. "No, titties is my answer."

JUDGE. "Titties are your answer?"

MISS TEEN SC. "Hey, is there an echo in here?"

JUDGE. "Titties answer what question?"

MISS TEEN SC. "Well, there's the obvious question. 'What do you call those glorious contours on your perfect chest?' Answer. Titties. Or 'What does the right-thinking male stare at when he sees you?' Again, Titties. Or, 'What does John Edwards have that George Bush doesn't have?' Why, it's titties! Titties, titties, titties."

JUDGE. "Titties."

MISS TEEN SC. "Titties, titties, titties!"

JUDGE. "I fail to see...."

MISS TEEN SC. "Titties."

Here’s what I think:

The question round doesn’t count for much, so she didn’t really prep for it. Someone (her mother?) told her to say “South Africa” because that’s how SHE won when she was a beauty queen (because it was in the news a lot back then, after all). Someone else (her high school teacher?) told her to say Iraq, because that’s in the news a lot now. Lastly some pageant coach told her to say “to help prepare for our future” at the end of whatever she said, because that’s a “winning line.”

String them together in random order, and you get her response. Embarrassing only for those of us who expected real answers.

I’d feel bad for her too, if she hadn’t put herself in that position. It’s one thing to be blind-sided by something completely unexpected; its something else to be asked a straightforward question when you knew you would be answering questions and still be blind-sided.

Truly amazing.

However, given the timing and the circumstances, Lance's answer is probably the right one.

Oh, and she finished fourth (3rd runner up). The questions didn't count for much after all...

Dumb as shiat. But I'd still hit it though.

You all would. Admit it.

mightysamurai:

I think you summed up what I was thinking much better than I wrote in my own comment.

She did answer the question, and the answer to the question was implicit in her inablility to coherently answer the question.

The question: "Recent polls have shown a fifth of Americans can’t locate the U.S. on a world map. Why do you think this is?"

Other possible responses:

“Could you use that in a sentence?”

“Because most Americans are morons.”

“I think that this is a beauty pageant. Beauty means never having to look at a map.”

The correct answer?

“Because too many teachers are now teaching to standardized tests, and not teaching to enhance students’ knowledge. In this way, students learn to take a test (similar to cramming) but retain little—if any—of that information. Laws such as “No Child Left Behind” mean also that “No Child Gets Too Far Ahead” and we slowly devolve into mediocrity.

And World Peace!”

I love people like her. She makes me feel smart.

Do all the words ALWAYS leak out of her head when she opens her mouth? We should really start emphasizing intelligence in our schools. If we don't, we'll end up with more of her. Even the stupid among us can reproduce. Why must they constantly prove they can do it so well?

I think I feel sorry for her. It's scary that some people can get so far in life while actually knowing so very little. Some folks have the ability to spin yarn under pressure, but the words that came out of that poor girl's mouth can only be interpreted as verbal diarrea.

Okay, it's not like I'm trying to stick up for my state; but the question is ridiculous... How are you supposed to answer a question like this?

First of all, I seriously doubt the statement in the question is even true. Please, 1 out of 5 Americans can't point out the US on a map??! Most EU countries I could see, but point me to the polling site that can validate that stat.

How you ever noticed they only bring up these education issues about non-technical subjects? They never ask: "If 5*x=100 what is x?" because THAT would truely show the state of education in the nation...

That was a baaaaad fumble, but it's a pretty dumb question, to be fair. What's she supposed to say, "because the public education system sucks and parents don't take any responsibility for educating their kids"? Too opinionated, but true nonetheless.

I know I said earlier that I don't think she's as stupid as this clip makes her out to be, it occurs to me that her nonsensical answer is actually a very good example of why 1/5 of Americans can't find America on a map.

You know all you people should really be ashamed of yourselves. Every last one of you. Every press packet I have ever read about these things clearly states that these are not "Beauty Pageants", despite what you all might think, they are in fact "Scholarship Pageants", and the young lady in question was only clearly demonstrating her desperate need to win that scholarship.

To quote Lance de Boyle; "Titties!"

I think the problem is that we don't have harsh enough sentencing for parole violators.

Oh, and she probably would not want to live forever because people don't live forever so therefore she shouldn't live forever which is why she wouldn't want to live forever even though her answer seemed to go on for forever.

Gullyborg, I loved your Miss Rhode Island quote. I cracked up.

"Last time I encountered anything so completely devoid of brains, I was eating it because it was a carrot."

That was the funniest part of the post - I think I need to make it into a T-shirt!

If the judges will deduct points for a politically incorrect answer, why in hell ask a politically sensitive question? Why can't kids identify their own country on a map? A failed education system.

If they wanted to test for the ability to come up with (on the cuff) a perfectly meaningless but nice sounding answer, then they're even worse than the poor, ignorant schoolchildren.

And they're also worse than the hapless contestant who managed to stumble when trying to jump through such hoops. She may have damned herself with her answer. I will content myself to damn those who set up the question and would have deducted points for an honest answer.

Dream answer:

You obviously want me to say it's b/c we don't spend enough money on education... but that is BULL. A) Money doesn't equate to effective education B) We already spend TOO MUCH money on education.

The true answer is that it is okay that 20% of Americans cannot find the U.S. on a map. It's a free country, and that's their choice.

If this wasn't okay, we could penalize them in order to encourage compliance. The death penalty would create far more geographical education compliance. PLUS, as a bonus, the death penalty would reduce liberal guilt over that 20% number, as attrition would guarantee a statistical reduction.

I'm reminded of the lyrics of Julie Brown's song "Because I'm a Blond:"

"Because I'm a blond, I don't have to think
I talk like a baby and I never pay for drinks
Don't have to worry about getting a man
If I keep this blonde and I keep these tan
'Cause I'm a blonde, yeah, yeah, yeah!"

"I just want to say that being chosen as this month's Miss August is, like, a compliment that I'll remember for as long as I can. I'm a freshman in my fourth year at UCLA but my goal is to become a veterinarian because I love children!"

I wish Julie Brown had kept on with her singing.

I guess I'm cold-hearted then, because I don't feel any remorse for her not being able to answer a simple question.

And it really is simple, she could have answered in a variety of non-opinionated ways:

"Because our schools are focusing on things other than geography like math, science, and literature."

"Looking at a map is learning, once you see where something is located, something as large as a country, you will never fail to find it again."

"With the rise of computers and the information age, there has been less of a need to study maps, since the world seems so much smaller. I can send an instant message to someone in Australia and when something happens in Iraq, we hear about it in hours."

or opinionated:

"Three words: George Bush"

or innocent:

"What is this...how you say...map?"

or honestly:

"Because those 20% are illegal aliens, ask them if they can find Mexico on a map....or rather: - ¿Puede usted encontrar México en un mapa?"

Just remember, according to John Kerry, this girl will probably be stuck in Iraq.

Alexander - I fixed your minor typo because I love you that much. :)

I'm too lazy to scroll up and see who said they feel a little sorry for this retard because she was in front of thousands of people, but I have to assert that that's bullcorn. She knew she'd be there - she's in a fucking pageant on national TV! None of the other girls had that problem. If ya can't take the pressure, get out of the, uh, pressure cooker. Or something.

Lance, I knew you'd come through. TITTIES!! God I love that word. Titties. But I like to pronounce it like Cartman, tittehs.

Oh, and JFH - I remember watching a talk show one time where some guy had been researching for a book (I can't remember if it was specifically about poor History education, or poor education in general), and during his research he had visited a school in rural Kentucky. He had been sitting in on a History class, and after class he was asking some questions of the students.

It's been a long time, so I don't remember how it got to this question, but he asked, "Did you know that the United States had a war with Japan?", and he said that the response was a chorus of, "We did? Who won?"

I don't find it horribly difficult to believe that 1/5 of Americans can't find the U.S. on a map.

You rule Rachel, I hope you thought to take a screencap to blackmail me with later though!

You know it's funny, if you watch that movie on mute (which I'm guessing is how most guys saw it regardless of the physical volume) you got to hand it to her. She stayed amazingly composed.

If I were screwing up that badly I probably would have just done something entirely unpredictable to take notice from me, like just suddenly reach over and poke the host in the eye.

"Yes, so I...Iraq..um

ahhh. educatio-

*BOINK!*

OOOOUCCH!

I'm too lazy to scroll up and see who said they feel a little sorry for this retard because she was in front of thousands of people, but I have to assert that that's bullcorn. She knew she'd be there - she's in a fucking pageant on national TV! None of the other girls had that problem. If ya can't take the pressure, get out of the, uh, pressure cooker. Or something.

Good point, and I agree with you to a certain extent. From my perspective, since I am one of those that feels badly for her, I'm much more inclined to make fun of the retards in Hollywood that make stupid comments like this every other day, and their profession is to be in front of large audiences and the camera, and they aren't 17, nervous as hell and trying to improve their communication skills like this person was. She faced her fears and ripped out an incredibly stupid answer, but at least she had the backbone to try to improve herself in a high-risk situation. Too bad she had to go down in flames doing it, but, bullcorn or not, I'm willing to give her a mulligan for it.

I wouldn't worry too much, though. In one of the few funny Doonesbury cartoons of recent years, Roland Burton Hedley was in Iraq during the abortive inspections in late 2002 before the war. An Iraqi plant manager asked Hedley something like, "Is it true that only 17% of American 18-year-olds can find Iraq on a map?" Hedley answered, "Yes, but they're all Marines."

She'll look pretty sporting a paper hat at her career office: the McDonald's drive-thru.

If the judges will deduct points for a politically incorrect answer, why in hell ask a politically sensitive question?

For the fucking Hell of it, I would assume.

I'm too lazy to scroll up and see who said they feel a little sorry for this retard because she was in front of thousands of people, but I have to assert that that's bullcorn. She knew she'd be there - she's in a fucking pageant on national TV! None of the other girls had that problem. If ya can't take the pressure, get out of the, uh, pressure cooker. Or something.

Okay, I'll give you that. It was her responsibility to plan ahead for the Q/A session and it appears she had better things to do.

But if that's all she's guilty of, then that's all you should criticize her for. Being stupid and failing to plan ahead are two entirely different things.

physics geek-

I don't think that working at Golden Aches is in her future. Becuase girls that look like this

http://lockemodels.com/view.cfm?modelID=199

usually don't have a problem getting any kind of job, regardless of how dumb they are.

My favorite part of her answer is when she says "everywhere like such as."

I like the way that is everywhere like for example such as in reference to and regarding the whole such as not so much like everywhere as for personally my opinion and of course world peace.

Ok, she's probably not the sharpest knife in the drawer. But let me just say this:

1. She's a teenager
2. She's in front of a crowd (even if you know that you're going to be in front of a crowd, it doesn't change the fact that you can panic)
3. She's under tremendous pressure NOT to screw up, so she wouldn't go outside of what she prepped and since what she prepped didn't answer the question, she was freebasing
4. Anyone that's ever been in front of a crowd knows that you can easily lose that tenuous connection between your mouth and your brain in that circumstance. I've done it, and I'm very experienced in front of crowds. It just happens.

She's a kid, cut her some slack.

I had to share a link to a YouTube spoof of this infamous moment in pageant history. Who says these things are good for the self-esteem? :)

"America has maps, that's why they call it 'Amaprica'."

The correct answer is "Maps are so 20th Century. My GPS always tells me exactly where I am."

Actually, I think I've heard more incoherent speech from management. Former Chief Financial Officer of a Fortune 500 Company, "why are they using the computer more?"

Gee, I don't know. If sales are up 5%, wouldn't that explain why sales transactions are up 5%?

She must be the one at Taco Bell making the Nachos without cheese!

The REAL sad answer is:

Unfortunately, too many children in schools simply have no desire to learn.

Don't blame parents. Don't blame teachers. Don't blame Bush. Don't blame "No Child Left Behind." Don't blame funding.

Blame the fat, lazy kids who, instead of being filled with a natural curiosity and a desire to know more about the world around them, instead choose to live a life of TV, video games, drugs, sex, drinking, gangs, and generally being a burden on the world around them.

Take a look at a map of the world. The U.S. is pretty big and easy to spot, even if it is your first time looking at a map. Classrooms have maps in them. All a kid has to do is have even a slight curiosity as to what that big picture with all the different colored shapes is, and after 30 seconds of looking, can find the U.S. It is far harder to find Waldo, for crying out loud.

But it never occurs to some kids to even look, because they just don't care.

What happens to these kids in life? That's hard to predict, because you can find these slackers in just about any sub-group. Some are spoiled rich kids. Some are pretty, or jocks. Some are hoodlums. They are all types.

So, some will grow up to be rich but useless adults with trust funds (Paris Hilton). Some will be hot but vapid trophy wives. Some will put their athletic bodies to work doing physical labor. A few will break into something like pro sports, or Hollywood - but not many. Many will quickly learn that it is easier to make a living by stealing or dealing drugs than by trying to use any of that "knowledge" from school.

But for the most part, they will all be a burden on someone else - directly or indirectly. The trust fund baby is a burden because of lost potential. The trophy wife is a burden on the working spouse. The person living by physical labor will be a burden down the road when his body is broken at an early age and he has no retirement plan. The criminal is a burden on his victims. Even the entertainers are a burden when you consider how much money and resources we as a society pump into frivolity like sports or movies - for what we paid in Michael Vick's salary (and yes, society paid it, because society spending money on tickets, merchandise, and TV advertising made that salary possible) we could have built God knows how many schools, hospitals, churches, and such.

Fortunately, not all entertainers turn out like Vick. Some at least give a lot of their earnings to charities and use their influence to help worthy causes. Then again, others end up like Barbra Streisand...

The bottom line is: such a large percentage of kids can't find America on a map because they don't give a shit, and they probably never will.

This brings back the memory of when I was driving home and there was a contest on the radio show I was listening to. It was a give away for a brand new car and one had to answer five trivia questions. The lady answering breezed past the first 4 with no problem - "Ashton" "Britney" "Tide" "6" - Here's the last one, folks! "For the brand new Toyota! Who is the U.S. President pictured on the one dollar bill?" Silence. Dead silence. "Caller, are you still there?" "Yup." I'm screaming, so is the producer of the show, the summer intern, the DJ..."father of our country...chopped down the cherry tree..." "Take a guess, caller!" pleads the DJ. "Clinton?" I nearly drove my car up a tree. The DJ was speechless and had to go to commercial.

Good Golly -- where is she getting her drugs... I haven't had anything so mind bending since the 70's!

Lance, you bad boy. You know that they've all got to pretend that it isn't about titties, and so anyone using that word would be forcibly dressed in Walmart store-brand clothes and thrown out on the street.

You folks dissing Paris Hilton just keep one thing in mind: Unlike various other heirs and heiresses, she's actually earning her living, well enough to keep up with the Lifestyles of the Rich and Stupid. Many women can make $100 for a few minutes of doing what she does, but their pimp takes 90%. She's making millions, and probably getting the big end of a 90-10 split with her agent - as far as I know.

"Sweet Jesus, I can drink a fifth of whiskey and be more coherent than that." I think George W. Bush could take a hit of cocaine, drink a fifth of Scotch, and still be more coherent than that, and the guy is naturally incoherent.

If the judges will deduct points for a politically incorrect answer, why in hell ask a politically sensitive question?

Seriously, the pageants are a selection process for a high-level modeling job, which does involve speaking in public sometimes. Miss America/USA/whatever they call it now should be able to avoid giving an answer that might cause a controversy and embarrass her employer.

Of course, stringing together a few memorized but off-topic phrases into a mass of nonsense isn't a non-embarrassing answer, either.

1. Who cares what she says? She's a great looking girl and that's all that really matters. Beauty contests shouldn't have a farce of requiring the interview. No one really cares.

2. How many 16 year olds could speak coherently in front of thousands of people live and in front of cameras? Many can, but most can't. Most can't speak coherently at all. They're only 16 for crying out loud. Her gaffe does not mean she's a moron. It only means she didn't speak articulately when answering this specific question.

3. Y'all are harsh. With just a little more polish, she'd make an excellent politician because she looks good and doesn't answer questions. If she can learn to speak with a few less "uh's" and a little better syntax, then she'll be a senator in no time.

Posted by Alexander

"It's like when those dogs on America's Funniest Home videos say "I love you". They're just sounds, not understanding. "

There have been some pretty well thought out posts in this thread, but, Alexander hit the nail on the head.

58 posts later, I am still laughing my ass off rereading his comment.

Pure genius

Thanks FightClub, nice of you to say!