Britney Spears launched her big "comeback" the other night on MTV (yet another one of their lame awards shows), and it was very, very bad. Bad so bad it makes Baby Jesus cry. She was drunk and/or medicated, utterly uninterested in appearing to give even a tiny little atom's worth of a shit. She didn't even bother to fake her lip-synching and completely stopped mouthing the words about halfway through, and most of all, she looked like hell.
And yes, I am saying she looked awful, even though, yes-we-all-know, she may theoretically still look "better" than 95% of "regular" women, especially those with multiple kids. If you say so.
The reason I'm saying she looks like hell is because the only reason you even know who she is is because five years ago, she was one of the main reasons other women felt like pigs. One of the super-celebs that made everything so superficial and all of us so demanding of perfection. She was the most successful pop star of her generation and it was based on truly NOTHING other than her ability to look very sexy and dance very sexily. She was about 20 years old and she was working that hot body and youth for all it was worth. She was singlehandedly making millions of girls and women feel like fat ugly cows in comparison.
She became unfathomably wealthy doing this - and nothing other than this - and then spent the next several years making a series of absolutely fucking retarded decisions. There was the fool douchebag she married, who knocked her up twice in two years. There were all the paparazzi shots of her doing things like driving her car with her baby on her lap, almost dropping her baby because she was wearing stilettos, holding lit cigarettes within inches of her kids' faces, and repeatedly exposing her bare crotch to dozens of flashing cameras. She went to rehab twice because she was staying out at clubs until 3 a.m. while her babies were at home with the nanny. She shaved her head and then freaked out on photographers with an umbrella. I could go on but I'm tired of Googling this bitch.
So, hell NO, I don't feel sorry for her now. She's a stupid dolt; an ego-trippin' jackass. Every single "rough time" she's ever had was 100% her own doing. Everyone's saying she looked like a fat buffoon the other night, and while that may not be technically accurate, the overarching narrative is correct. You don't go on TV wearing a bikini that you don't look good in unless you're willing to take the torrent of insults. You. Just. Don't. Do. It.
And you know, I wasn't even going to say anything about this until I found out that that very night, after that blackhole nightmare of a performance that she was purportedly "embarrassed" about, she yet again went out partying in a short dress without wearing panties, and of course gave the paparazzi a nasty eyeful that they could share with you and me.
So don't waste your time on some sort of misplaced pity for this clown. She knows exactly what she's doing, and she's laughing all the way to the bank. Thus I feel free to laugh right along with her. I mean at her.
Comments (13)
Yikes. The girl needs a good scrubbin'. And maybe go 'underground' for a year or so, get her shiat together, and then make a comeback.
Now she's just a pathetic joke.
/Of course I'd still hit it.
Posted by HurricaneMikey![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.rachellucas.com/nav-commenters.gif)
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September 11, 2007 5:44 PM
Posted on September 11, 2007 17:44
Can you say "skank" boys and girls?
I knew you could.
Posted by Ralph Gizzip![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.rachellucas.com/nav-commenters.gif)
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September 11, 2007 5:54 PM
Posted on September 11, 2007 17:54
Posted by Hardliner![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.rachellucas.com/nav-commenters.gif)
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September 11, 2007 7:01 PM
Posted on September 11, 2007 19:01
Amen, Rachel. All she had to do was cover-up a little bit. Or learn to sing.
Posted by carin![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.rachellucas.com/nav-commenters.gif)
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September 11, 2007 7:04 PM
Posted on September 11, 2007 19:04
Yeah, I'd still totally do her. I just wouldn't brag about it afterwards. I mean, if anyone can do it, it isn't worth bragging about.
Posted by David Gulliver![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.rachellucas.com/nav-commenters.gif)
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September 11, 2007 7:46 PM
Posted on September 11, 2007 19:46
It could be worse.
Imagine her teaming up with Michael Moore.
Posted by Technomad![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.rachellucas.com/nav-commenters.gif)
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September 11, 2007 8:15 PM
Posted on September 11, 2007 20:15
Total trailerpark skank. Her 15 minutes is long over.
I wouldn't touch her with a ten-foot pole. I'd be afraid of catching a disease.
Posted by Nathan Brindle![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.rachellucas.com/nav-commenters.gif)
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September 11, 2007 8:16 PM
Posted on September 11, 2007 20:16
"I wouldn't touch her with a ten-foot pole. I'd be afraid of catching a disease."
Unbelievable! a right winger with common sense! Stop the presses!
;-P
Posted by Hardliner![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.rachellucas.com/nav-commenters.gif)
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September 11, 2007 9:41 PM
Posted on September 11, 2007 21:41
LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE!
see disturbing video rant here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kHmvkRoEowc
so... chick or dude?
Posted by David Gulliver![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.rachellucas.com/nav-commenters.gif)
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September 11, 2007 10:27 PM
Posted on September 11, 2007 22:27
Oh.My.Gawd...... and they call me weird???
Like Woah and stuff.... :)
Posted by Hardliner![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.rachellucas.com/nav-commenters.gif)
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September 12, 2007 4:34 AM
Posted on September 12, 2007 04:34
Chick or awfully gay person...
Posted by Hardliner![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.rachellucas.com/nav-commenters.gif)
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September 12, 2007 4:42 AM
Posted on September 12, 2007 04:42
I can't believe you guys are doggin' Brit-Brit.
She's just, um, before her time. Yeah, that's it, she's a trend setter.
Any day now the prosti-tots will be asking their moms to take them in for c-sections so they too can have a scare like Brits. Quick somebody create a temporary c-section tat (you'll make millions).
Before long, Hanes, Under-roos, Victoria Secretes and Freddies of Hollywood will all be going out of business. But fear not buy stock in Gillette and Bic, you'll be set for life.
Me, I'm off to dump a gallon of bleach in my eyes and let it soak for a while. Isn't one of the commandments something about thou shalt not flash your beaver, or something?
Posted by phineas g.![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.rachellucas.com/nav-commenters.gif)
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September 12, 2007 7:40 AM
Posted on September 12, 2007 07:40
To me, the biggest sin of her performance was behaving as if she needn't do anything more than simply show up. That and the stripper / streetwalker / burlesque act is getting teh old. IMO, any parent who allowed their child to watch the opening act of the VMA's gets no sympathy from me. AS IF you didn't know Brit would be sleazy!
** As for "prosti-tots" -- phinneas g. that is brilliant! Do you think we can find a Venture Capitalist willing to give us seed $$$ for the C-Section temp tattoo? **
Posted by langtry![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.rachellucas.com/nav-commenters.gif)
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September 12, 2007 8:41 AM
Posted on September 12, 2007 08:41