I just noticed that Sunny perfectly matches one of our living room rugs. It almost looks like we did this on purpose but I promise that's not the case; this rug was Rupert's before we met. And I feel bad because it was clean when he brought it over but now it has dog fur on it constantly. I'm pretty sure Rupert suffers as much as men who move in with single mothers. Suddenly his life is full of bad smells, food on the floor, vomit, poop, dirt, licking, panting, and obnoxious noises. From the dogs, you perverts.
Speaking of perverts, I really need to have a sit-down with Old Man Digger. He is constantly trying to hump Sunny lately, like, ten times as much as he ever has before. Rupert and I guess he's trying to get it all out of his system before he dies. In any case, it's a little pathetic. He's too feeble to really get a solid mount and a firm grip with his arms around her shoulders, so he ends up basically flopping one front paw against her butt while aiming his, uh, tallywacker in her general direction. I laugh and laugh, which seems to hurt both of their feelings.
Sunny tolerates all the humping and laughing, probably because they have some secret deal whereby he'll fart in my face if she'll give him a free hump, in order to punish me for dressing her up in clothes. I'm fine with that because I'm willing to take an occasional point-blank dog toot for the pleasure of exploiting Sunny on the internet. It's a win-win situation for the whole family. Even Rupert, who has probably figured out that at least with these dogs around, I have someone besides him to focus all my crazy on. If they were gone, I'd be following him around with a camera and offering him pork if he'd just put this bikini top on for one minute.
Comments (11)
Two words for Rupert: Good Man.
HaHa: Just kidding, he's a lucky guy, no doubt. All that poop, vomit, licking, food on the floor.... man, can't beat that!
Posted by chase![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.rachellucas.com/nav-commenters.gif)
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September 5, 2007 9:31 PM
Posted on September 5, 2007 21:31
I'd be following him around with a camera and offering him pork if he'd just put this bikini top on for one minute.
Be afraid, 'Rupert'. Be very afraid.
Posted by Rickbert![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.rachellucas.com/nav-commenters.gif)
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September 5, 2007 9:45 PM
Posted on September 5, 2007 21:45
Silly Raychill Lukis! You can't teach an Old Dog new tricks. and um duh....today is Hump day ya know.
Posted by Mister Cantankerous![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.rachellucas.com/nav-commenters.gif)
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September 5, 2007 9:46 PM
Posted on September 5, 2007 21:46
Rachel, I've always wondered...if you have ever wondered what kind of weird beasts might have resulted if your dogs were not neutered?
Posted by otcconan![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.rachellucas.com/nav-commenters.gif)
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September 5, 2007 10:25 PM
Posted on September 5, 2007 22:25
I'd big money to see Rupert in a Bikini... ;)
Posted by Hardliner![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.rachellucas.com/nav-commenters.gif)
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September 6, 2007 1:00 AM
Posted on September 6, 2007 01:00
whoops! forgot the word PAY up there... that'll teach me to type in the dark...
:-)
Posted by Hardliner![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.rachellucas.com/nav-commenters.gif)
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September 6, 2007 1:01 AM
Posted on September 6, 2007 01:01
"I'd be following him around with a camera and offering him pork if he'd just put this bikini top on for one minute."
Try beer instead of pork.
Posted by R.L. Hunter![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.rachellucas.com/nav-commenters.gif)
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September 6, 2007 2:57 AM
Posted on September 6, 2007 02:57
I actually bought my couch and carpet because it matches my dog. Now I don't give a damn how much he sheds because I can't see it anymore.
That either makes me a genius or a complete retard, I'm afraid the jury is still out on which is true.
Posted by Jeff Naylor![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.rachellucas.com/nav-commenters.gif)
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September 6, 2007 9:53 AM
Posted on September 6, 2007 09:53
We did actually buy all the furniture to match the dog. Everything is brown distressed leather. Heavily distressed. The sofa still has a poofy 2-inch rip at one bottom corner where some foam filler stuff is poking out like a white fright wig --- caused by puppy teething all those 6 years back. Sort of like having a baby shoe bronzed.
Only not.
Posted by dogette![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.rachellucas.com/nav-commenters.gif)
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September 6, 2007 12:59 PM
Posted on September 6, 2007 12:59
"Try beer instead of pork."
And keep the camera hidden until required.
Posted by Tully![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.rachellucas.com/nav-commenters.gif)
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September 6, 2007 6:49 PM
Posted on September 6, 2007 18:49
Actually, humping is to show dominance; this is common to all canines. Digger is showing he's still the Alpha member of this pack and Sunny is tolerating it to show she accepts this as true. The concern should start when a large, strong, male dog starts humping the leg of the kids - he is viewing them as the lesser of the pack and could present a very unwelcome problem in the future.
Posted by Burgie![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.rachellucas.com/nav-commenters.gif)
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September 6, 2007 8:59 PM
Posted on September 6, 2007 20:59