It’s our first Independence Day on ‘Murrican soil since 2008 and it feels pretty great.

Firefly, the native-born dog, is celebrating the nation’s birthday with enthusiasm and teeth. Primo, the Italian, is still not completely accustomed to the ways of our people.

I posted something about the Gosnell trial 15 minutes ago. Five minutes ago, I got an email from a very old, very dear friend (who had not read the post), partly to do with abortion and partly not, but the point is that I don’t want a rant about that subject at the top of my blog right now, so I put it back to “draft” form. Maybe later. Sorry – and don’t worry, it’s not a back-down. It’s just about my friend.

Meanwhile, how about something instead to make everyone smile, or cry, uncomfortably?

I have visitors from the States since Friday and they’re keeping me so busy (good way) that I haven’t read/watched any news in 5 days. And now I know I’m addicted (bad way) to the news. So proud of myself to identify that weakness.

Spent the last few days in Padua and Venice, where I hadn’t been before, but now we’re in Florence and next we go to Rome for my fourth visit to each of those so I’m getting my companions lost less now. I admit it: I put us on the not-most-ideal bus in Padua, and then missed our stop and had to ride an extra 45 minutes, and then had to conduct an awkward and confusing conversation in Italian with the bus driver to figure out what we should do to remedy our pickle, and then I’m pretty sure he took a picture of us with his iPhone and now we’re on the Internet somewhere with a “hilarious” caption about dumb Americans. Again I have covered my native land in glory. You’re welcome, U.S.A.

Anyway so that’s why I haven’t blogged, besides the fact that I’m a shitty blogger. Am on iPad only while traveling and have you typed on one of these? It’s like eating cereal with chopsticks.

More later. Meanwhile, what’s going on out there? What sort of political stupidity is forefront this week?

All excellent reasons for drinking hard liquor, especially these days.

I originally found of that photo at (one of their commenters linked to the version I’m using, from , where it says the photo can be freely shared with attribution). This is one of the reasons I love the Language Log blog: even though it’s written by and mostly commented upon by linguists and half of what they say cruises several meters above my head such as when they start casually discussing prescriptivists and cohesive devices and nominalization dependence, there are also posts that bring phrases like “Finally, for reasons” and “Next, to heal the dryness of the place” into my life.

Also, they occasionally dissect the linguistic aspects of politicians’ statements that have been construed as gaffes by the media. Last week, they “If you’ve got a business, you didn’t build that, somebody else made that happen”. The original post asserts that in context, “that” is plainly about “roads and bridges”, not about “your business”. But the majority of the commenters don’t agree on the linguistics, and it’s an interesting discussion involving phrases like “unscripted talk is often pronominally loose” and “resolution rules for the pronoun ‘that'”.

To sum: most of them say Obama meant exactly what he said (that you didn’t build your business), with or without the surrounding context. Frankly it surprised me because if you really want to know my opinion, I’ve thought all along that he was indeed talking about the infrastructure, not about your business – which didn’t make the statement any less stupid, seeing as how business people themselves (and rich people in general) have contributed more money to the infrastructure than the bottom-earning 50% of the population, and either way Obama was still saying that we all owe the government for our success, more than we owe ourselves for “thinking we’re so smart”.

Asshole.

Anyway, it’s a good read if you’re into not understanding half of what you’re reading but still like to try. I can’t imagine interacting with these linguist people and being expected to say words with my face in English or any other human language. Hell, who am I kidding, I can’t imagine that kind of interaction with pretty much all people.

Me in most social situations

Saw this picture on Drudge earlier:

…and the first thing I thought was, hahahaaa! The second thing was, that’d be a hilarious “soon” picture. So I went for the so I could post about it, because it’s , and sure enough, within a few hours someone had . I’ll never have an original thought in my life.

Paul Ryan is the first congressman I’ve ever actively liked, and I like him a lot. Got this CNN clip from . It’s surreal to watch the White House budget director try to convince Rep. Ryan that the abortion of a budget Obama announced yesterday is somehow fiscally sane.

In case you can’t or don’t want to watch the video, here’s the “win” bit. Quoting Rep. Ryan:

What’s so frustrating about this is, you know the drivers of our debt are the entitlement programs, and yet you’re doing nothing to address that! I mean, look, we’re in different parties, that’s fine, but when people elect a president, they expect the president to lead, to take on the country’s biggest challenges before they become actual crises. And we all know that this debt is becoming a crisis. And you’re not even touching these programs. You’re assuming the economy’s going to take off in a year, in which you’re raising taxes everywhere, all over the economy, and if your math doesn’t add up, then we’re all in a world of hurt, and this will cost us jobs.

And then the White House budget director says that actually the “vast majority” of the tax provisions nail only the richest people (those making over $250,000 per year). As though those aren’t the people who make new jobs happen, and as though the middle class won’t be nailed twice as hard because that’s where most of the money is. Are we all even speaking the same language with the same word-meanings and arithmetic-realities anymore?

I get a local paper here in my small English city, and I watch the BBC news along with many other newses, not caring if newses is a word, and yeah: the Brits are with Obama right now. Jack M. at Ace of Spades has already this but I can tell you, from a “local” perspective, Barack Obama’s, uh, hospitality is going over like a ton of cow turds over here.

[Gordon Brown] had put clearly great thought into giving the U.S. President lavish gifts to signify Britain’s ‘special relationship’ with the U.S.

During his historic trip to Washington, Gordon Brown gave Barack Obama an ornamental pen holder made from the timbers of the Victorian anti-slave ship HMS Gannet – once called HMS President.

The unique present delighted Mr Obama because oak from the Gannet’s sister ship, HMS Resolute, was carved to make a desk that already takes place in the Oval Office in the White House, after being presented by Britain to the US in 1880.

The Prime Minister went to the trouble of hunting down the perfect gift after becoming the first world leader invited to the White House by the new Commander In Chief.

So it would be perfectly understandable if Mr Brown felt a little underwhelmed at the official gift he received in return. For despite being leader of the world’s most bountiful nation, President Obama handed over nothing more thought-provoking than 25 classic American films on DVD.

It was the equivalent of receiving a pair of socks from an unfamiliar aunt at Christmas – and a less-than-glowing affirmation of the UK-US bond.

…Mr Brown also took to Washington a framed commission for HMS Resolute, a vessel that came to mark Anglo-US peace when it was saved from ice packs by Americans and given to Queen Victoria.

He also gave a first edition set of the seven-volume classic biography of Churchill by Sir Martin Gilbert.

Mr Brown and his wife also showered gifts on the Obama children giving Sasha and Malia an outfit each from Topshop and six children’s books by British authors which are shortly to be published in America.

In return, the Obamas gave the Browns two models of the presidential helicopter, Marine One, to take home to sons Fraser and John.

Dang, and here I thought I was going to come over here and all of England would love me because it’s “cool” to be an American since “we” elected Obama, but then he has to be a stingy asshole with the gifts and now I’m reading letters to the editor and online commentary about how this is “typical” of Americans, we have no sense of history or dignity, we are crass, etc. WTF? I thought Obama was gonna the world. By which I mean heal the world. With his special hands of healing power.

P.S. Saw a young woman on the High Street yesterday in a t-shirt that had George Bush’s face with the international “NO” symbol over it. Oh honey, it’s over. You can move on now.

I’ve heard from a friend of a friend of someone who works on movie sets that a lot actors are total douchebags with hilarious superiority complexes but rarely do you get firsthand proof like this. The audio of Christian Bale flipping his shit on the set of the new Terminator movie is . (If you don’t like hearing F-bombs dropping like it’s WWII, don’t listen.)

But I much prefer the awesome dance remix:



The thing that kills me about Bale’s stompy widdle tirade is how the dude he’s yelling at just takes it. Can you imagine putting up with being screamed at like that and just muttering apologies in return? Oh hell no. No.

If you can’t watch videos, has a link to a transcript, but I wouldn’t even bother; it has to be heard to be enjoyed.

I just got back from my parents’ house to pick up Sunny (Maggie’s staying out there permanently now so she can kill many rabbits but I need to continue my long goodbye to Sunshine for a few more weeks) and when Dad opened the door, he wore a grim expression and announced, “I’m holding a wake.” At first I was all, oh god what did Maggie kill now?? my nephew?!?!? but he shook his head and I knew he was talking about the Obamaguration. Dad’s not a huge fan of our new president, to put it kindly.

Meanwhile, the is having a giant collective orgasm and here’s a screenshot:

I wonder if they went limp even for a moment when the savior of Earth completely fucked up his oath. Which I haven’t seen because I was driving home while it happened, but Dad called me just now and told me. I’m looking for video. Poor Obama, his teleprompter binky wasn’t on right then.

Must get to work now and start making the money that my new president is going to share with everyone, but in the meantime, you must go check out the former , which is now “Obama is Aces HQ” and is cracking me UP. They’re doing a …”The New Era Edition”.

Po-TUS Obama
America the best
Bush goes to jail now

Trust in Obama
All your worries gone forever
Bush goes to jail now

Barack is dreamy
Sorry Iraq we leave soon
Bush goes to jail now

My feelings can best be expressed thus:

Jonah Goldberg can count me in on :

Here’s a news flash: Not everyone truckles with doe-eyed awe at “America’s royal family.” Some of us don’t even like the idea of American royal families. JFK and RFK had their good points, but they don’t deserve the beatification they receive on a daily basis. As a man, Teddy Kennedy is hardly a role model, and as a public servant he’s not much better…

I’ve never understood anyone’s fascination with these people. They aren’t interesting in any way. They haven’t suffered any more tragedy than some other families I know, and I just don’t get the whole “Camelot” thing. Are people really that childish, that this sort of heroic romanticization of a bunch of Northeast multimillionaire liberals appeals to them? Gah.

Anyway, the Goldberg piece is actually about how differently the left treated “inexperienced” Palin compared to how they’re treating inexperienced Caroline, who’s seeking an office which is, in point of fact, laden with more responsibility. Ain’t that the truth. Hey, at least the media is consistent in its biased inconsistency.