I never wanted to have an 81-year-old man’s babies before, but I do now.
Reader Janna sent me this, which I somehow missed even though I read Hot Air like it’s crack. Click on the image to watch the video.
In case you can’t watch it, an 81-year-old former paratrooper was walking home with groceries when he was approached by a teenage kid who stuck a 5-inch knife in his side and announced intentions to rob the old man, which didn’t pan out the way the punk-ass turd had hoped. As told by the silver fox himself:
“I’m not scared of a knife, I’m not scared of nothin’.
“He said, ‘Well I’m gonna cut ya.’
“And I said, ‘No you ain’t gonna cut me.’
“Unless you gotta, like I said, if you gotta a .45 or a .38 to blow me away with, I’m scared then. Otherwise, you gotta knife, I’m not scared of that knife.
“Because I faced the Germans with a bayonet. I also fought in Korea, I went to two wars, and I’m still here, and I’m not about to let you take me out with that knife.
“And he was like this, and I go around like that, and I kicked him right in here. [in the nuts!]
“Then I kicked him in the teeth, and I just kept on, and I left him layin’ right here.
“I walked home. And he didn’t come after me.”
Allahpundit is right, it’s simply…magical.
Which reminds me to link to a magical blog I found today, TFS Magnum: Self Defense, which collects news stories of people defending themselves with guns. Example of a story they link, yet another example of a redneck who only has guns to make himself feel tough and to compensate for a small pecker:
TUCSON - A Southeast Side resident wounded while protecting his 2-year-old child during a home invasion shot and killed a man Thursday night, a Tucson police spokesman said.
Police were alerted of the home invasion in the 5800 block of East Sanderling Drive, near Little Town, by a call from the 29-year-old homeowner around 9 p.m., Sgt. Fabian Pacheco said.
The group of invaders, numbering three or four, broke down the home’s front door, Pacheco said, and a gun battle ensued.
The homeowner was shot in the arm but fired back, killing one of the invaders, whom police found lying dead inside the man’s home, Pacheco said.
The father was transported to a local hospital with non-life-threatening injuries; his 2-year-old was not harmed.
P.S. I was over at my brother’s place on Friday night and he let me hold his shotgun, and I’ve decided I need one of those to help me sleep at night while Rupert’s gone. My birthday’s in about 3 weeks. I’m just saying.
Nice.
Sgt K
March 30th, 2008 at 11:16 pmESTI can’t believe that neither of these violence-happy cowboys took the opportunity to flee or try to reason with their attackers. Who knows what kind of abusive or poverty-stricken backgrounds their attackers came from.
March 30th, 2008 at 11:29 pmESTOf course the media will vilify the guy who shot the intruder dead. I wonder if any member of the media has ever had their house broken into? I guess not!
March 30th, 2008 at 11:46 pmESTIt looks like this fine gentleman was with the 101st. I wonder which regiment and company he served with, and where he saw action. (Band of Brothers fan here…)
March 30th, 2008 at 11:54 pmESTI love old guys. You just never know when you’re messing with a trained killer. This old guy I know is the nicest, gentlest man I know, he’s 85, but he fought on Iwo Jima (Marines) and you just do NOT want to fuck with him.
About the 2nd guy: I’m sure some crazy lefties will say he should have “shot the gun out of his hand.”
March 30th, 2008 at 11:59 pmESTI think there should be a public holiday named in Donald Clouston’s honour.
March 31st, 2008 at 12:16 amESTTossed in a bit for the shotgun fund.
Let us know when you start an ammo fund.
Practice makes perfect.
Semper Fi
March 31st, 2008 at 12:34 amESTMaybe we could combine that with “Punch a Hippie in the Nuts Day?”
March 31st, 2008 at 12:34 amESTI hate to derail a perfectly lighthearted comment thread, but I have a serious question.
Rachel, you used the colloquialism “I want to have his babies”. Here is my question, for the ladies here: to what extent is that phrase purely a figure of speech, and to what extent does it contain a kernel of truth?
By way of context, when I look at Jessica Alba, I don’t think “I want her to have my babies.” I think that even less when she speaks. But I sure could get enthusiastic about the prep work. Is it different for women? Is part of a man’s appeal the literal desire to have his children? And, conversely, can you get genuinely hot for a man whose children you wouldn’t want?
Note that birth control doesn’t necessarily enter into it. For example, Rachel, you’ve said that you don’t want to have kids. But I would imagine that Rupert’s would-be worthiness as a father, and the idea that you could literally make more men like him, holds some appeal. Yes, no?
March 31st, 2008 at 1:01 amESTHas anybody else noticed that this is the second time in the last month or so where Rachel has said something about having babies? I think she is just waiting to drop the bomb on her loyal readers/worshippers.
March 31st, 2008 at 2:26 amESTDude, you should totally take it out and shoot it before you decide you want one. Your size and weight? Dunno, you may not want to go that route.
March 31st, 2008 at 2:47 amESTDon’t get me wrong, I love me some shotguns, double aught buck, then a slug, then double aught, you get the picture, but they do have a kick. You’ve got your dog early warning system, and handguns, stash them all over the house, you don’t have kids, knock yourself out, and you’ll be fine.
Wow, that’s a pretty harsh way to decide whether you want a baby!
March 31st, 2008 at 3:11 amESTHey, I do write about more than self-defense…
Thanks for the link
March 31st, 2008 at 3:52 amESTWhile back home on some much needed R&R I took Her Royal Highness to the range for some much needed practice. I had bought her a .38 Lady Smith for Christmas (I know, I’m nothing but a romantic!). Anyway, after perferating a few targets, she wanted to look at some of the other wares displayed. The range boss came over and as we were discussing advantages/disadvantages of different models when he took down a 20 gauge short barrel pump shotgun and suggested it as the best home defense weapon made for the following reasons: 1) you don’t have to be dead on accurate, close counts. 2) There is nothing that makes a louder statement than the noise of chambering the first round. It is a universal sound and crosses all language barriers and 3) An intruder may challenge a woman holding a pistol, but a shotgun put a whole different slant on things especially after they hear #2 above.
March 31st, 2008 at 4:34 amESTGet your brother to take you out to a skeet range for a round and you’ll want that shotgun so bad you’ll go buy one on the way home.
Even my wife loves shooting skeet and she’s not a gun fan.
Nothing you can legally keep in your home matches the short range firepower of a shotgun. And you can most certainly handle one. Just don’t load it with magnum shells, except maybe to try it once to experience the Whamm-O. Birdshot will work ever so okie-dokie at the range of any in home defense task.
I keep a Remington 1100 semi-auto. Its the only firearm I own. No need to worry about pumping or reloading. That CLACK of the cambering round as you push the button on the bottom the springs a round into the chamber is just as big a wake-up call to an intruder as a pump action loading, I promise.
When you hear that SHH-CLANK! it is unmistakable that someone nearby has a shotgun with a round chambered.
March 31st, 2008 at 6:41 amESTi love it! old people should not be messed with. especially the veterans. they’ll fuck you up.
that kid is the most pathetic mugger ever. maybe he’ll have better luck stealing candy from a baby. oooh, burn!
March 31st, 2008 at 7:11 amESTGod love you, Rachel. I *LOVE* stories like this!
March 31st, 2008 at 7:20 amESTRachel, Here’s Clayton Cramer’s blog of everyday people using firepower in self defense:
March 31st, 2008 at 7:35 amESTCivilian Gun Self-Defense Blog.
It’s worth a look!
Awesome! Never mess with old guys.
Double awesome about home invasion guy.
Speaking of fantastic daddy specimens, check this out.
Edit: Let me know if that works. I’m blocked by the firewall in my office so I can’t check it myself. Thank you! Monday morning fingers can be clumsy]]
[It didn't work but I fixed it! Now read my comment on it and do what I say. - RLL]
March 31st, 2008 at 7:58 amESTJennifer - great story! (The link needs fixin’, though.) Balls of freakin’ STEEL, and the entire testosterone ration for Britain. heh heh
About Jeff’s comment…I’ll throw an opinion into the ring (’cuz it’s an interesting question):
Personally, I think so. I had no plans to marry and have children when I was in the military. I was committed to my career and lifestyle, happily worked 16 hour days, roamed Europe without having to answer to anyone, and had no intention of slowing down for a life of domestication. I dated a few men, but married the only one who made me want to have his babies. He was… worthy (for lack of a better term).
Absolutely! Plenty of hot, but it wasn’t enough to change my life by getting hitched.
Hell, yes. My new husband wanted children so bad, and didn’t want to wait. Out of my mind, I obliged. After all, my country needed more men like him. I had a duty, ya know??
(Hey, I admitted I was out of my mind.) Today, our kids are the very best of everything in me and my husband - it’s humbling and awesome at the same time.
Back to the subject of hotness… there’s HOT and then there’s this:
There has never been anything as primally sexy as seeing my strapping military man cradling his tiny babies. NOTHING. The dichotomy of huge, calloused hands that build things and shoot things being so careful and tender still buckles my knees in ways that nothing else will. It’s what I remember most about our early marriage.
March 31st, 2008 at 8:05 amESTWhen Frank showed me the video, neither of us could stop laughing (he, too, reads Hot Air like it’s crack). I think that’s exactly how my 81-year-old Papa would have been in the same situation. He “fought those Japs” in World War II, and he won’t take anybody’s crap.
March 31st, 2008 at 8:11 amESTRachel, it’s spelled “bayonet”.
[Oh. Der. I wondered why my Wordpress spellcheck was spazzing out. Thanks Pat! - RLL]
You’re welcome! I hesitate to offer spelling corrections on most blogs, because they are often met with hostility. (And rightly so, in many cases. I’m not sure why, but spelling corrections are often phrased in a snotty and condescending manner, as if good spelling were the hallmark of a superior human being.) But I figured you were as picky about spelling as I am for two reasons: your line of work (not too different from mine, which is technical writing) and the almost total absence of spelling errors and typos in your posts.
In other words, it’s actually a compliment.
March 31st, 2008 at 8:24 amESTYou can have his babies–I’ll be moving to Santa Rosa shortly in order to track the hooligan down and make his life a living hell. Wait. Donald already did that. I’ll stay here. All is well in Santa Rosa.
March 31st, 2008 at 8:37 amESTYes ma’am. I’ll give in and stop being a lazy bum about it. Honestly, I’ve been meaning to do it for a while
March 31st, 2008 at 9:14 amESTthunder ranch defensive shotgun
Check out his advice on the single shot shotgun - you can pick up a nice 2nd hand 20 gauge ‘youth model’ for $50-$70, add a shell carrier, 5 buckshot loads and sleep well.
March 31st, 2008 at 9:14 amESTThis reminds me of something that happened in my home town. A hair salon owner (with great looking hair) shot a guy that was robbing him. http://www.azcentral.com/news/articles/12n-0318salonrobber-CR.html
March 31st, 2008 at 9:31 amESTThis is how you stop crime.
A couple of years ago, I went out skeet shooting with a friend and a guy who is Olympic-class. He let me use his son’s $15,000 shotgun (yes, $15,000–his was a bit more expensive, and his other son’s was about the same price) and I had one helluva time. We shot two rounds, I think it was, and there was nothing more satisfying than seeing the clays turn into clouds of dust. It was relaxing (if you can believe it) and fun and not too expensive, something like $50 for all the shells and clays or something like that.
The gun he lent me was a light over/under and used a smaller shell than the friend’s Browning and had almost zero kick. Now, I’m a big guy–6′6″ and 230lbs at the time (don’t ask)–and I was only a little bit sore from the morning’s activities, but in the arms from being a 230lb weakling, not in the shoulder from taking the kick of the recoil.
I’d go do it again, and though I’m a little hesitant to keep a gun around the house at all, my wife said she’d buy me a shotgun… haven’t taken her up on that one yet, and we’re most certainly not talkin’ ’bout a $15,000 weapon!
/Bill
March 31st, 2008 at 10:08 amESTI’m a big ugly guy, so my Remington 12 gauge is not a problem for me; but my wife is a little bity woman. The Mossberg 410 Bantam is perfect for her.
March 31st, 2008 at 10:15 amESTThis post made my day - thank you!
I have contributed a minescule amount to the “shotgun fund” in honor of your upcoming b-day.
If I may make a suggestion…
I keep this little gem under my own bed when hubby’s away on business:
http://mossberg.com/products/default.asp?id=28§ion=products
It was inexpensive, and it would drop an intruder like a rock. The sound of the pump alone would be enough to make a bad guy pee in his pants. It kicks, but it’s managable once you’re familiar with it.
If you’re still looking for a carry weapon, you may want to consider my other favorite, (we’re going to have to start a bigger fund for this one):
http://www.kimberamerica.com/pistols/ultracarry/ultra_carry_II_night_sights_lg/
This one was my Mother’s Day gift from hubby last year and I would recommend it heartily. It’s not as bulky as it looks, and it’s easy to fire with a high degree of accuracy. I love my Kimber.
Happy shopping!
March 31st, 2008 at 10:23 amESTBirdshot will work ever so okie-dokie at the range of any in home defense task.
It do indeed. Inside of twenty feet or so, an ounce of lead moving at 1200 fps is an ounce of lead moving at 1200 fps, no matter how many pieces it’s in. Birdshot won’t punch through multiple walls and annoy the neighbors like slugs and OO can, but inside of “household” it’s a terror weapon.
You do have to learn how to point ‘em. They don’t “spread” THAT much until you get out a ways.
March 31st, 2008 at 10:35 amESTOoh, Erin, I’m partial to Kimbers. They are beautiful weapons. Kimber has been on my wish-list for a while - though they are pricey. My husband, who knows me well, gave me a Glock for my birthday two years ago - a great concealed carry choice.
March 31st, 2008 at 11:29 amESTA good friend recommended the Mossberg to me, also, for home defense. I will eventually get it cut a bit in the stock to fit my stubby self but it is QUITE the security piece. Makes me feel all warm and comfy at night.
March 31st, 2008 at 11:31 amESTRedhead Infidel - Hubby carries a Glock 23, and it’s a badass firearm. He also owns a Sig Sauer P220 Elite, but prefers the Glock.
As for your Kimber, that’s what tax rebate checks are for, right?
March 31st, 2008 at 12:33 pmESTMy wife told me I could buy a gun with my rebate check; I haven’t decided yet (so many choices!).
While I was in Afghanistan, I bought her a 20 gauge pump action for Valentine’s Day. Or so I learned via e-mail. It’s as short as you can legally get, but she takes it trap shooting and manages to hit better than some other people there with “full size” shotguns. It’s a little disturbing.
Pictures of me in uniform holding my newborn available on request. =)
Sig
March 31st, 2008 at 1:12 pmESTOh - hawt! I hereby register my request.
March 31st, 2008 at 1:43 pmESTVery nice.
The most important thing you can do is ensure the shotgun “fits” you. These entails two major things:
Length of Pull: The distance from the trigger to the back of the stock. This is especially important if you are not of average height. My brother is 5′ 7″, and needs his stocks shortened about an 1 1/4″.
Check out “Youth” models
Operating systems: Singles, doubles, pumps, and semi’s. What works best for you? This includes, loading, unloading, reloading, and locations of the operating controls and safeties.
Check out as many different shotties as you can.
March 31st, 2008 at 2:10 pmESTDear Rachel,
I’m told this is the good time of year to buy a used shotgun. There are lots of shotguns given as Christmas gifts that then get pawned in January to pay the Christmas bills and they come up for sale now-ish.
I am not 100% sure of this, but I’ve had several people tell me this is true. And a year ago I bought a used 20 gauge Mossberg 500 for $100 at a pawn shop and last month got a used 12 gauge Remington 1100 for $150 at a gun store. So there may be some truth to it.
Remington shotguns are easy to add an extended magazine tube to so that they hold more rounds. Most Mossbergs you can’t do that to. When you get one, don’t worry too much on barrel size, you can always cut it down (I would not go under 18.5 inches, just to be sure). If you don’t have your own metal cutting bandsaw to use, I’d be happy to cut it down for you (or your local gunsmith could do that).
I’d shoot one or three before buying one, if possible. You’ll probably want a 12 gauge because it’s a little heavier and will take some of the recoil out with the weight. Just use reduced recoil shells and you’ll be alright. Just say no to pistol grip only shotguns. They hurt.
Here’s mine but I don’t recommend you do all that. When it’s fully loaded I’ve got 23 rounds on and in the shotgun, which makes it very heavy. It does have two very important accessories: a light mount, and a smiley face sticker where the bad guy can see it.
March 31st, 2008 at 2:29 pmESTA Mossberg 500 is an excellent choice- especally in 20 gauge. American made, and under 250 bucks new, even. Walmart and other retailers sell them with a spare rifled slug barrel, which makes large holes in home invaders.
March 31st, 2008 at 3:19 pmESTThis comment over at HotAir answers my question from earlier:
And BTW, I had no idea that Santa Rosa had gotten so crappy/dangerous.
March 31st, 2008 at 4:16 pmESTFor armyofdog:
You expect an 81-year old to outrun a teenager weilding a knife? Or use logic and reasoning on someone threatening to kill him?
The homeowner is expected to grab his two-year old, run out of the house (without being shot yet) and outrun a group with guns?
What planet are you from?
March 31st, 2008 at 7:09 pmESTErr, planet Sarcasm, I think.
Also, the requested pic is posted on my own site now. =)
Sig
March 31st, 2008 at 10:07 pmESTI own a Remington Defender, a 20 gauge shotgun especially made for home defense. Good enough for a fiftyish, small boned woman. Also a .38 Smith & Wesson revolver as a backup. Highly recommend the shotgun.
April 1st, 2008 at 8:35 amESTMossberg 500, baby. I concur with Og. They say there’s nothing like the “clack clack” of a pump shotgun chambering a round to freeze the blood of a perp.
But I’ll take my in 12 gauge. *evil grin*
April 1st, 2008 at 8:49 amESTRachel,
Sorry, I got to this post late (I’m ashamed for not checking on you every day :0). Anyway, my $.02, I got my wife a Saiga 12 (semi-auto shotgun built on an AK-47 body) for her birthday and she loves it. They’re a bit pricey but tough as hell and they come with 10-round magazines now. This was for home defense since she already had a Glock 26 she carries on a regular basis. Enjoy.
April 1st, 2008 at 5:15 pmEST