The Daily Dog: Birthday loot.
Man, I wish my birthday was more often than once a year. I’ll make it officially so when I become Leader.
I got most of the thank-you emails for donations finished up today, but I want to publicly thank all of you again. Also thanks to those who bought my Zazzle gear and shopped through Amazon to give me the kickback. And no less awesomely, about 20 things from my Amazon wish list were bought for me in the last week, which has started a glorious flow of cool shit to my door. I’ve got new books, DVDs, a doggie backpack, a new watch! Holy crap people. I really can’t overstate how downright luxurious it all feels to me. I am a tightwad; I very rarely spring and buy myself stuff I want. So I feel like I just won the lottery with all this loot. And I have to tell you, it’s a great distraction and just what I need right now. Been missing Rupert in a bad way lately.
(Speaking of, he finally got to the new base and was assigned to his new unit, and was immediately sent out to join them on field training. So I won’t hear from him for about a week and it’s tough to get used to that but I guess I better. One of the books I got this week was Michael Yon’s “Moment of Truth in Iraq” and I’m reading it now, and I’ll be honest, it both freaks my shit completely OUT and also makes me feel better, knowing what kind of men Rupert will be with when he gets there.)
Anyway. The Amazon gift receipts only show the giver’s address, not email, so those of you who bought those things are in for a special treat: I’m making a Sunny thank-you card on Zazzle and will send you one via snail mail. It may be a week or two but when you get it, hold onto it because one day when I’m running Earth it might be worth some money. At least a dollar.
Not quite last and definitely not least, a fan who wishes to remain anonymous (to you; I know who it is of course) sent me a check for the shotgun I want. Seriously. I know, right? I can’t believe it either. All I know is that there are incredibly generous and interesting people out there who like the way I write for some ungodly reason. So I’ll be going to the gun range this weekend, where they have the Benelli I want so, so bad. I will buy it and some ammo, fire it, think about how awesome it is, and then take picture of myself holding it, to post here. You can’t wait. I know I can’t.
Another reader sent me Sangiovese from his own vineyard, and it is delicious. And finally, Lisa of Realm Dekor, one of my frequent advertisers, sent me a whole package of cool stuff, including the Mardi Gras mask on Sunny above, which wasn’t expressly for Sunny but I couldn’t resist. The pic below is what WAS for Sunny. I think they make her look smart.
God, I love my birthday. Thanks again, so much, to everyone. This birthday was shaping up to be real shit because of the whole Rupert situation and the butthurtin’ I got from the tax man, and the fact is, it turned out pretty damn nice instead, because of you all. Not to mention it puts me that much closer to running the planet, which we can all get behind. I got yer hope-n-change right here, folks.
Perhaps you just bring out the better side of your faithful. Don’t fight it kid, you deserve it for keeping all us knuckle draggers and gum snappers entertained. And it sure beats socks and underwear on your B’day.
April 24th, 2008 at 8:29 amESTGlad you had such a great day. Hopefully when next year rolls around I’ll be in more of a situation to contribute to the happiness and well-being of the Glorious Leader and her royal hounds.
In the mean time, enjoy the swag and know we are all anxiously awaiting the day that you rule the world.
April 24th, 2008 at 8:39 amESTMs Lukis,
As I am sure I speak for most of the drooling imbeciles (and I mean that in the nicest way possible) here, please make sure the pic is not just of the shotgun. We all need our daily cup’o wachel. If you can’t/won’t, we will understand if the internet stalker/photoshopper rule is in effect.
April 24th, 2008 at 8:48 amESTSunny is so rocking those spectacles, Rachel! I’m glad your loyal subjects could make your birthday a happy one.
April 24th, 2008 at 8:51 amESTHappy happy birthday, again! I love it when the birthday girl gets what she wants.
April 24th, 2008 at 8:58 amESTWow, how very cool for you. I’m glad you had a great birthday!
April 24th, 2008 at 8:59 amESTI’m glad you had an awesome birthday. You deserve it.
It felt like my birthday a little bit yesterday - my Saddest Bee mug arrived! Good stuff. Next is the Hump Day mug. I can’t wait to flaunt that one around the office.
April 24th, 2008 at 9:08 amESTI can imagine Sunny with the bee outfit AND those glasses on - she’d be the Saddest, Smartest Bee.
Totally fantastic. And yeah, I’m reading Moment of Truth currently and it is awesome. I’ve never read such compelling non-fiction.
April 24th, 2008 at 9:13 amESTGlad you had a great birthday
A number of things:
One, I am directing a play. We use masks. Can I borrow Sunny’s?
Two: Happy belated birthday. I’m too damned poor to buy you much more than a book, and when I last checked Amazon, there were just electronic gadgets on your list, which violates the Hoody Poorness Doctrine. Put a few more books up, I’ll see what I can do.
Three: I’m serious about #2.
Four: Why in HELL would you want to be Leader? Other than for the naked self-aggrandizement? And for me, that’s not worth all the ass-kissing/whining that inevitably accompanies the job.
April 24th, 2008 at 9:44 amESTI totally dig Sunny in her specs. SO fabulous!!!
And I love my Sunny sad bee card. I still haven’t decided where to properly display it. It cracks me up every time I look at it. =)
April 24th, 2008 at 10:04 amESTRachel,
Just signed off Amazon after fulfilling an item on your wish list. My thinking is this; I give a “large tip” when my waitstaff has done a great job … and I don’t tip if they don’t. Same goes with your blog. This isn’t the first time I have sent something but it has been awhile. I love the stepped up posting and my wife goes nutz over the dog pics. Thank you. Happy Birthday.
April 24th, 2008 at 11:39 amESTThanks for pimping Michael Yon. He’s pretty damn cool, to put it lightly.
April 24th, 2008 at 12:11 pmESTThat’s one of the ways I know I’m getting older. I get socks or underwear for a birthday or holiday, and I think “Hey - great, I needed those!”
April 24th, 2008 at 12:12 pmESTYay!
Now, Tully? For the first one? In honor of the ALW thread, how about “Masqueraaaaaaade . . . paper faces on parade!”
April 24th, 2008 at 12:25 pmESTRachel: Read Chapter 9 “High Noon” from Micheal Yon’s book. That story has got to be the best in the book. It is also on his website. It will freak your shit out, but in a really good kind of way. Also, if you want to know what kind of men and women Rupert will be with, check out Matt Burden’s “Blog of War.” For me, the best from that is “The Combat LifeSaver” from the Questing Cat. My hubby is going back over in January for up to 15 months, so I’ll need to be re-reading these so I can remember that we’re not in it alone and that there are some pretty incredible people over in theatre.
April 24th, 2008 at 1:17 pmESTHAHAHHA! Happy Birthday Rachel and thanks for the new dog pics…glad you could make it work!!!!!! Hope you liked the luggage tag (yes that’s what THAT was)…
April 24th, 2008 at 2:30 pmESTSunny now looks like Edith Head. Or an older Truman Capote. Either way, it’s a wee bit disturbing.
April 24th, 2008 at 3:42 pmESTY’know, Rupert might enjoy a photo of you wearing the mask (particularly in light of your more recent postings). Just the mask.
April 24th, 2008 at 5:00 pmESTThe Secret Diaries
Dogs Diary
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Dinner! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing
Cat’s Diary
Day 983 of my captivity
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a “good little hunter” I am. Bastards!
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of “allergies.” I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now…
April 24th, 2008 at 6:45 pmESTh/t to Siggy at sigmund, carl and alfred
A Javanese sultan’s birthday is celebrated every 35 days.
April 24th, 2008 at 10:08 pmESTWhile you work on your world leader thing I’m working on my own appellation.
I want mine to be “Vintner to the Stars.”
I need a TV show, Paula Abdul might be involved. She sounds like she’s half in the bag anyway.
Happy Birthday! One word soon…
Cabernet
April 24th, 2008 at 11:02 pmESTYou know, I never looked at your wish list.
Seeing Sunny I’m not sure I want to…
April 25th, 2008 at 12:04 amESTHappy Birthday Rachel! I love your blog and frequently bow to your superiority on my own blog site. I, unfortunately, have passed the 36-zone…barely, and it still stings bitterly…I am glad you had a good birthday considering everything. I dated a man in the Navy, a pilot, who’d go to sea for 6 months at a time. When 9/11 happened he was immediately deployed from Oahu and was gone for nearly 8 months. That hurt. I understand the waiting part oh so well. It’s worth it when they come back safe and after a job well done. You can do it girl…
April 25th, 2008 at 4:24 amESTAnd, Gino, dear god…I am still laughing my ass off!