Who’s the hottest ring in hell reserved for?
People who say mean things about Michelle Obama. No, really:
DICK DURBIN: Well, I know Michelle, she’s been my friend, a friend of my wife, for many, many years. She can take it. She can handle herself. She’s a very accomplished person. But I will tell you this: the hottest ring in hell is reserved for those in politics who attack their opponents’ families. And if there are some Republican strategists who think that’t the way to win the election, I think they’re wrong.
Huh. That’s an interesting moral structure, a fascinating window into the mind of someone who apparently misunderstands the concept of “if you go on the campaign trail and say campaign things, you’re gonna get criticized, dumbass.”
You know what I think about when I hear the phrase “hottest ring in hell”? Things like this:
The men who pulled up in three white pickup trucks were looking for Patson Chipiro, head of the Zimbabwean opposition party in Mhondoro district. His wife, Dadirai, told them he was in Harare but would be back later in the day, and the men departed.
An hour later they were back. They grabbed Mrs Chipiro and chopped off one of her hands and both her feet. Then they threw her into her hut, locked the door and threw a petrol bomb through the window.
Because, CALL ME CRAZY, just seems to me that it’s healthy to have some perspective. To maybe spend less time defending Michelle Obama’s tender widdle feewings and more time doing something about truly horrifying issues such as that genocidal psychopath Mugabe. Which by the way, no one is.
The UN and the South African Development Community has sat mostly silent while Mugabe rigged election results in order to conduct an unnecessary run-off between himself and Morgan Tsvangirai, who won the first round of voting. Since then, Mugabe and his henchmen have harassed and imprisoned Tsvangirai and conducted a campaign of terror against districts that voted for MDC in the first contest. Now they have resorted to murder, and not just murder but brutality that demonstrates Mugabe’s thirst for power.
What has the international community done? They invited Mugabe to a food conference while he blocked food to his starving citizens. Mugabe dined in Rome on elegantly prepared meals while he denied subsistence foods to Zimbabwe because he feared the influence of foreigners so close to the election. He wants to use the food shipments to extort votes for the Zanu-PF party in order to win the run-off election.
And on and on. But yes let’s hope anyone who criticizes Mrs. Obama burns in the hottest ring of hell. Because that’s just evil.
Durbin (and trust me, his first name is oh so appropriate) is an agitprop who fancies himself a muckraker. Poor little picked on Michelle Obama, who makes ill-conceived and provocative statements all by herself, cannot take the heat when she is criticized for said statements, which are made in public at official Obama events, mind you. That’s called fair game, Durbin.
June 12th, 2008 at 10:22 amESTOne day my sister was going on and on about how anyone to the right of her were so evil because they didn’t help the poor, were mean, killed kittens, etc…..
I asked her if they were more evil then the Palestinian terrorist who bashed a Jewish boy’s head in then killed his father while the mother and toddler sister was hiding. The mom was terrified that they would be found and ended up smothering the girl by accident, keeping her from making noise.
My sister’s response was that she couldn’t handle stories like that so she didn’t read them.
I told her not to use the word “evil” until she could actually understand the definition.
June 12th, 2008 at 10:25 amESTBah, this whole “free speech” nonsense is antiquated anyway. Everyone knows that never having your feelings hurt is an inalienable right. But I guess we knuckle-dragging ‘Murkins aren’t smart enough to abandon such foolish notions as “free speech” and “diversity of opinion.”
/Do I even need to say it?
June 12th, 2008 at 10:28 amESTA 2nd thought came to mind while reading the Chicago Tribune article about Michelle Obama:
To deem her as immune from reproach is to treat her in the same way as a child. As this article asserts, she is a grown, intelligent and capable woman, and she should not hide behind people like Dick Durbin when she is criticized for her own public statements while serving as an adjunct of her husband’s campaign. To assert otherwise is to infanitilize Mrs. Obama while insisting that others treat her as a grown-up.
June 12th, 2008 at 10:35 amESTIf she can’t take the heat, she needs to get her ass out of the kitchen. If she stumps for him, she is fair game to be called out on her inflammatory statements.
June 12th, 2008 at 10:39 amESTAt first, I was thinking, “Rachel, save me! Hide all the anti-Michelle comments I’ve made, before “Little Dick” Durbin comes to get me!!”
But then I read on . . .
I’m pretty sure I’m going to Hell anyway, and I really want to get to the Hottest Ring so I can do things to the bastard Mugabe that just are not permissible or even possible in this life!
Sadly, though, I don’t think my jibes at Michelle will get me there — she’s hardly an innocent bystander in politics! — but whereas before, I simply felt she was fair game, I now see my sniping as a moral obligation!
June 12th, 2008 at 10:42 amESTA couple of thoughts:
The reason that people are starving in Zimbabwe is because Mugabe killed or drove out all the white landowners, because, well, they were white. He then gave that land to the ’soldiers’ who keep him in power. The starving comes in because the ’soldiers’ are really good at shooting people with AK 47s and raping women, but not so good at doing anything requiring any skill or intellect. So, the farms are not productive and everyone starves. Which is okay, because at least the white people aren’t running the show anymore, and that’s the important thing, right?
Also, Durbin does not seem to be a very educated man. If he had read Dante’s Divine Comedy, he would know that the worst part of hell is the 9th circle. It is not hot, it’s cold, and it is reserved for traitors. The very worst part of hell is reserved for those who betray their lords and benefactors. I guess in modern politics, that would be Scott McClellan. Durbin would probably be in the 8th circle, Bolgia 5. (Corrupt politicians.) Mugabe had done so many awful things that you would probably have to chop him into tiny bits (what a great idea) and distribute him evenly.
June 12th, 2008 at 10:49 amESTWhat can we expect from a festering yambag who compared our troops to Nazis?
Personally, I think the hottest, most blazing, most torturous ring in hell, if there is such a thing, is reserved for this animal.
I blogged about this a couple of days ago, and I’m still horrified by the images. Needless to say if they ever left me alone with this guy, they’d be sending what’s left of him home in a matchbox.
June 12th, 2008 at 10:51 amESTWell, it’s OK to call this blog host vile names, but criticize a grown woman who only recently became proud of America?
Off to hell with you!
June 12th, 2008 at 10:52 amESTMugabe and his ilk are classic cases of what the UN is useless for..
June 12th, 2008 at 10:55 amESTSomebody needs to tell Michelle Obama, and while they’re at it, that turd Durbin, that it’ll all be over soon. Like say, the second week of November…
Obama hasn’t a snowball’s chance in hell of ever being elected–Hillary was right about that. But it’s sure gonna be fun to watch.
June 12th, 2008 at 10:56 amESTI say we take a piece of Michelle Obama’s pie -after all, she told us that the gvt. should take some of our pie for others- and we send it to Zimbabwe to feed the hungry.
And while we’re at it, think about all the unused non-nuclear ICBMs that are in silos of various countries all around the world….and we can’t spare one to rid the world of Mugabe?
June 12th, 2008 at 10:57 amESTStephC, are you suggesting that Michelle Obama’s place is in the kitchen? Sexist pig! [/sarcasm]
June 12th, 2008 at 11:04 amESTLOL.
StephC is dead on target. The unwritten rules of the game are simple. Once you step onto the public stage and openly stump IN PUBLIC for your relative, you are FAIR GAME. If you do not get on the stage and stump in public, you are OFF LIMITS.
Really. That simple. Straying outside the lines makes you and yours fair game, so the pros tend to play by the rules. BTW, just being “window dressing” on stage for speeches does not count. “Stumping” is public speaking on behalf of the candidate, not just shaking hands or being photogenic at public appearances.
Michelle Obama is fair game, and has been since her first stump speech as a surrogate for her hubbie.
June 12th, 2008 at 11:11 amESTI’m sick of people’s feelings.
I’m even sick of my own feelings…about this campaign cycle.
June 12th, 2008 at 11:12 amESTI wouldn’t trust Michelle in the kitchen. She’d probably blow up the casserole, then blame it on the “white man’s white flour” or some such nonsense. Heck, I bet she buys wheat flour, just so she doesn’t have to scoop out any of that bleached whiteness and put it in her food.
June 12th, 2008 at 11:12 amESTMichelle is, supposedly, the obamassiah’s closest and most trusted advisor, and she speaks on his behalf - but she can’t be criticized for anything she says? How does this work? I’d bet if Mr. McCain’s wife gets out and speaks for him that the dems will have plenty to say about her.
June 12th, 2008 at 11:14 amESTAs for Africa; after I got out of the Army (where I did three back-to-back tours in VietNam), I went to Africa,where I participated in three wars and a revolution - and, believe me, that was not an isolated incident that was reported. The pure, unadulterated savagery that is accepted as normal over there is almost beyond belief.
At one time, Rhodesia was the literal “bread-basket of Africa”. Then, thanks to the humanitarian efforts of Britain (who couldn’t stand to see a breakaway colony thrive without them) and the USA, Mugabe came to power and zimbabway went to hell. Unfortunately, it’s an all too common story throughout Africa. Perhaps time and evolution will solve the problem. Or not. Who knows?
The “international community” has no time for criticizing Mugabe. They’re too busy condemning Israel for its various “racist” policies, such as security stops meant to deter suicide bombers.
Oh wait, they did take a brief moment to blame the Western world for Zimbabwe’s food crisis. But then right back to the plight of the Palestinians.
June 12th, 2008 at 11:15 amEST…and for what it’s worth, if a modern liberal calls something evil, good chance it’s a policy we should be pursuing.
June 12th, 2008 at 11:17 amESTIf I’m going to hell anyway, I’d like to have one of the best seats.
June 12th, 2008 at 11:32 amESTYou’re kidding right? I seriously doubt that Michelle cooks….too lowly. If she does cook, you can be sure it’s very nouvelle. And casseroles are wayyyyy too white trash cooking.
June 12th, 2008 at 11:35 amESTOf course there’ll be no criticism of Mugabe from the UN or the left; he’s implemented all their favorite things. Wealth redistribution, price controls, silencing dissent, and naturally, blaming whitey for all the ills those things have brought. He took a prosperous country and turned it into a wasteland.
And I’ll wager MO will be proud of her country when those tings get forced down our throat, too.
June 12th, 2008 at 11:36 amESTI think the Inner Circle of Hell is where you spend eternity having to listen to Dick Durbin lecture you on how evil you are, and the only consolation for being there is the realization that he’s there too.
Anyway, nobody better get any silly ideas about about their First Amendment rights extending to criticizing figures on the national stage. Because criticizing the O-man (PBUH) is racist, and criticizing those who speak on His behalf is a distraction.
And no, by using “PBUH” I am not connecting the Chicago Kid with Islam, I am mocking His worshippers. Which I believe I can still do under the First Amendment. Until Inauguration Day 2009 anyway.
June 12th, 2008 at 11:53 amESTA few brief notes:
1) Kim du Toit has some interesting perspective on Africa, from one who’s lived there.
2) Why is it almost demanded that we go in and kick butt in places like Africa after UN sanctions and aid have failed, but roundly condemned that we went in to kick butt in Iraq after THEIR UN sanctions and aid have failed??
3) Michelle Obama reminds me a bit of the interim president of my alma mater- after pushing an extremely unpopular decision through the Board of (mis)Trustees, they held a town meeting for alumnae to discuss their decision. Ms. Interim was honestly shocked that we weren’t all willing to kiss and make up once the fiasco had become a done deal, and was surprised again at how her every statement was suddenly scrutinized… That’s part of leadership, ladies. If you’re not going to be “stand-up”, don’t bother to step up.
June 12th, 2008 at 11:56 amESTI growl in the general direction of your spam filter! LOL
June 12th, 2008 at 12:04 pmESTThe Boss and I have a dear friend who did his Mennonite “alternative service” in Tanzania and continues to visit yearly, doing whatever he can privately to help old and new friends start/ keep small businesses going — progress is glacial, even in the ‘nice’ parts of that continent!
(And now I have a certain Warren Zevon song running through my brain.)
June 12th, 2008 at 12:15 pmESTHate speech or free speech? What much of West bans is protected in U.S.
Evidently, you do need to say it.
June 12th, 2008 at 12:16 pmESTSo will the people who called Geri Thompson a “trophy wife” be going too? — But wait! When that happened, Fred and Geri took it on the chin, joking that actually, Fred was the “trophy husband.”
I guess Durbin forgot to qualify his remark. He really meant to say “those in politics who attack their [liberal] opponents’ families!”
June 12th, 2008 at 12:23 pmESTDurbin’s rant doesn’t even make sense. He says that Michelle Obama “can take it. She can handle herself.” Well, if that’s really the case, why is Durbin trying to shield her from criticism? If he really believes that she “can take it”, he should follow that statement by saying, “So go ahead, Republicans. Take your best shot at her. Michelle will laugh off your attacks, and then she’ll slice you to ribbons with a few well-chosen words. Trust me, you do NOT want to mess with her. But if you do, I’ll be in the front row laughing my head off while she dismantles you.”
And yeah, he doesn’t know his Dante very well, either. If The Onion can get that stuff right, it’s pretty lame for a bigshot Senator to blow it.
June 12th, 2008 at 12:37 pmESTRemember that this comment comes from somebody who compared the president to Hitler, Stalin, and Pol Pot. Guess that’s OK.
One of these days I have to find out what Durbin’s first name is.
June 12th, 2008 at 12:47 pmESTCross posted a link to your essay in my blog.
Thanks for bring us all back to reality and putting everything in perspective.
June 12th, 2008 at 1:17 pmESTIt’s a classic case of “la la la la la I can’t hear you” from idiot liberals. What can I say. Got mental disorder?
June 12th, 2008 at 1:18 pmESTIs the new 10th circle where they put multicultural training facilitators and people who drive 55 mph in the left lane on the highway?
June 12th, 2008 at 1:20 pmESTFelicity,
Never mind the lawyers just send the other two.
Now it’s stuck in my head.
THX
June 12th, 2008 at 1:29 pmESTI’m gonna sit this one out, because I wanted Hillary Clinton to be President.. and ever since that is not going to happen I stopped paying attention. Really, I can’t pay attention to what MO says anymore, I’m just healthier not knowing.
June 12th, 2008 at 1:45 pmESTSteve — Durbin didn’t compare the President to those murderers, he compared the Soldiers and Marines at Gitmo to Nazis, Soviet gulag operators, and everyone’s favorite genocidal maniac, Pol Pot.
Dick “The Dick” Durbin?
In the words of Abraham Lincoln:
I’d vote for “hanged” in Durbin’s case.
June 12th, 2008 at 1:57 pmESTWe can’t be having things like “facts” and “perspective”, not to mention “logic” and “reason” that would just hurt peoples feelings and “insult” them. I’m sure there’s a fifth or sixth ring of hell for people like that. **end sarcasm now**
June 12th, 2008 at 2:10 pmESTIn answer to your question: Who’s the hottest ring in hell reserved for? DEMOCRATS! Is there any doubt?
June 12th, 2008 at 2:22 pmESTNow would this hottest ring in hell also correspond to the special hell reserved for child-molesters and people who talk in movie theaters?
June 12th, 2008 at 2:25 pmESTI don’t know why you folks are all on poor Michele’s case … hell, anyone who’s watched what’s happened in Africa as country after country was “liberated” from the evil white man … has become “black heaven”. Gosh, forget Zimbabwe … look at how far South Africa has come since Mandela was released from prison and the blacks got “power” ….
June 12th, 2008 at 2:31 pmESTWith such shining exaqmple of “black power”, I can see why it’s so important to have black folks in powerful positions in this country.
Hmmmm … must be damned near time to check out land prices on Vancouver Island ….
Too much hair!
June 12th, 2008 at 2:33 pmESTRobbie, I stand corrected. What he ACTUALLY did was far worse as he insulted an entire group of people he is not fit to be in the same universe with.
June 12th, 2008 at 2:33 pmESTTo be fair to this incredible dick, he didn’t claim that they would be going to the worst part of hell or the 9th circle of hell. He just said that those who attacked Michelle Magdeline would go to the hottest ring. I’m not that familiar with the Inferno, so would it be right that the hottest part of hell would be for people guilty of whatever sin he thinks criticizing her is?
June 12th, 2008 at 2:54 pmESTYou are exactlty right, Rachel.
June 12th, 2008 at 3:04 pmESTIf Michelle’s going to say anything politically related, she leaves that door for comments and criticism toward her WIDE open.
If she and Barry don’t like it……maybe the “little woman” should go home and just shut the F*ck up !….
She’s a whiny, elitist, uppity, socialist.
I’m already sick of her face and Obama’s.
Roland was a warrior from the land of the midnight sun?
June 12th, 2008 at 3:19 pmESTBuzzion,
The only parts of hell (in Dante) that are hot are parts of the 6th through 8th circles. If you are a heretic, violent, a blasphemer, a sodomite, an usurer, a corrupt politician or an unfaithful advisor, it’s going to be warm. Way warm. I don’t think that there is a circle reserved for ‘making fun of a whiny nitwit who says really stupid things with alarming frequency.’ Then again, I haven’t read it in a while.
Also, from the context, I think that DICK Durbin thinks the hottest part is the worst part. If he wasn’t such a miserable little troll of a human being, I would give him the benefit of the doubt. But he is, so I won’t.
June 12th, 2008 at 3:31 pmESTSnowdog - You can get them to do 55? The ones I get are usually doing closer to 50.
June 12th, 2008 at 3:32 pmESTGee, I wonder if the Satanists are offended. They are probably emailing Durbin that their feelings are hurt.
June 12th, 2008 at 3:39 pmESTIs Durbin the Maitre D’ in hell? How does he know where everyone goes?
Fair enough Snowdog, I wasn’t up to date on all the levels who goes to each one and how hot they all, so thanks for the partial rundown.
Agreed, but I did want some clarification that the perceived sin wouldn’t actually stick you in the hottest part of hell which you’ve given. Are you sure criticizing the wife of the messiah isn’t a sin?
June 12th, 2008 at 3:47 pmESTAllen and b-man,
Yup!
But I’m not sending my guns anywhere, sorry Allen!
June 12th, 2008 at 3:53 pmESTAccording to Wikipedia, here are some of the hottest levels and who are in them:
Sixth Circle: Heretics are trapped in flaming tombs.
Seventh Circle: Outer ring, housing the violent against people and property, immersed in a river of boiling pitch.
Seventh Circle: Inner ring, The violent against God (blasphemers), the violent against nature (sodomites), and the violent against art (usurers), all reside in a desert of flaming sand with fiery flakes raining from the sky.
Eighth Circle: Bolgia 5: Corrupt politicians (barrators) are immersed in a lake of boiling pitch, which represents the sticky fingers and dark secrets of their corrupt deals.
Eighth Circle: Bolgia 8: Fraudulent advisers are encased in individual flames.
I guess Durbin means everyone who talks about Michelle Obama is a fraudulent adviser. Of course, there is a hot level for corrupt politicians as well.
June 12th, 2008 at 3:57 pmESTSince liberals believe that ‘hate speech’ can actually be construed as ‘violence,’ maybe Durbin meant that one?
Course if buzzion is right —
– maybe he meant the Seventh!
June 12th, 2008 at 4:09 pmESTIf criticizing the wife of the Obamessiah is blasphemy, that seventh circle is going to get pretty crowded.
On the bright side, Buzzion can bring graham crackers, Felicity grab some marshmallows, I’ll stop by the store and get some Hershey’s bars and we’ll have Smores.
Hmmmm. Smores.
June 12th, 2008 at 4:27 pmESTDurbin was bad enough when I lived in Illinois and has gotten even worse since I left. Pretty soon even the dead and illegal alien voters will want someone else.
June 12th, 2008 at 5:08 pmESTI can’t say I’m too surprised. This IS the guy who thinks making a terrorist too hot or too cold is equivalent to the tactics of Pol Pot and the Soviet gulag.
That’s right, Dick.
People who attack a politician’s family are the worst people ever. Much worse than Hitler, child molesters, and people who talk at the theater.
June 12th, 2008 at 5:41 pmESTI thought the hottest ring in hell was already reserved for Teletubbies?
June 12th, 2008 at 6:44 pmESTThe hottest ring in hell is reserved for me. My mistress is pregnant. I will name my son Judas Adolph von Paules. And if my wife finds out hell will not wait for an afterlife.
June 12th, 2008 at 7:39 pmESTNo, the second hottest ring in hell is reserved for those who insult the families of politicians. The hottest ring is reserved for politicians.
June 12th, 2008 at 8:03 pmESTI was indifferent to this entire post because I don’t think Dante should be referenced as an authority on Hell - The Inferno was fiction, after all. (Good effort there, though).
I think for the nature of Perdition we ought to only source the Bible (not because I am a casuist, but only because the Bible invented the notion - at least for our culture - so it ought to be the authority of choice).
Much like my local building department is the authority on layers of drywall for a fire barrier.
Anyway…
Where was I?
Oh yes, my indifference to it all.
But then Mighty Samurai brought up “people who talk at the theatre” and my blood began to boil and the hair stood up on the back of my neck.
So now I am pulling my Bibles off the shelves (Catholic Standard, King James, New American, etc…) cuz I am pretty sure theatre-talkers gotta be in there somewhere.
Man, those jerks really piss me off. They’re beasts with ten heads, I think
June 12th, 2008 at 8:27 pmESTthe reverend. And me, because I want to watch him burn, and I am so sick of snow in June I could use a warm-clime vacay.
I’d also enjoy watching “Joey Boy” Stalin do the flaming toe tango with a thorny rose in Benny Mussy’s choppers.
June 12th, 2008 at 8:57 pmESTIt’s an arbor-day-worthy family thing.
It’s at times like these that I remember one of my favorite phrases:
Holy hyperbole, Batman!
For what it’s worth, is Durbin saying that we’re going to start condemning people to Yuma or Needles or something?
June 12th, 2008 at 9:27 pmESTI can’t get truly angry at someone as dim as Durbin. It’s just precious that the most vile act he can imagine is saying something mean about a politician. Self-absorbed much?
June 13th, 2008 at 3:26 amESTBuzzion was quoting a line from Firefly in which Shepherd was counseling the Malcolm not to take advantage of a perceived innocent. “If you do, you will end up in the special hell. The one reserved for child-molesters and people who talk in theaters.”
My wife and I love that quote and use it often.
June 13th, 2008 at 6:06 amESTI don’t think Dick’s a relative, but Durbin is our family name. When he made that remark about our troops, my brother sent him a blistering letter and told him he was a disgrace to the name of Durbin.
If Dick’s a relative, then he’s banned. We are a rowdy bunch, but we are a patriotic bunch with many of our members proudly serving in all branches of the service.
June 13th, 2008 at 8:13 amESTHow about signing a petition that requires Dick Durbin to change his last name to Head?
June 13th, 2008 at 9:10 amESTSauron.
Like, duh.
June 13th, 2008 at 11:40 amEST