“I was thinking we’d start our day with a morning hunt, followed by a prayer, and then a policy meeting.“
Sarahcuda* has not only spurred certain factions on the left to great new heights of dishonesty, hatred, and rumor-mongering, she’s also bringing out the kind of hilarity and appropriate nut-punching that I’ve missed on the internet lately. Three items for your review:
First and best, via Althouse, a comedy video imagining the phone call from McCain to Sarahcuda asking her to be VP. I haven’t enjoyed 3 minutes on YouTube this much in my entire life.
Second, Jim Treacher mocks Washington Post writer Howard Kurtz:
After four days of telling silence from the McCain camp, Palin finally deigned to reappear in public yesterday. In a followup press conference, Palin, who is a girl, lashed out at the media.
…Shaking her head in a transparent attempt to feign exasperation, Palin — who is perhaps not as pretty as she thinks she is — then left the podium…
And finally, for the nut-punching you’ve been patiently waiting for. Surely you are acquainted with one Miss Megyn Kelly of Fox News; if you’re not, I feel sorry for you. She’s so pretty that it actually hurts to look at her, especially lately with her Farrah hair, WHICH I LOVE. More importantly, she’s smart and she brooks no bullshit, and I have loved her for years in ways that confuse me and intrigue my boyfriend.
Anyway, if you want to see a gorgeous blonde kill, gut, dress, and eat a gossip magazine reporter for breakfast, here you go (via Hot Air):
Ouch, Bradley. Just ouch.
*Palin was called Sarah Barracuda in school. I have officially adopted the practice of identifying her henceforth as Sarahcuda.
Megyn had that weasel twisting in the wind. His claims that the “lies” referenced right on the headline are actually the lies that the liberal bloggers have spread - uh-huh. Sure. That’s EXACTLY what that headline conveyed. My old-school journalism prof would have flunked him out cold for that line. Good for Megyn for calling him out on that BS.
I want a “Sarahcuda” bumper sticker!!
September 3rd, 2008 at 6:42 pmESTOh yeah, I saw the first one a couple of days ago over at Stew’s place (edit: yesterday) … about time we had some actual fun poked at this, for god’s sake!
As for the other one, I am now torn as to exactly who I am more enamored with, since I am now acquainted with three women, who now share space on the same page and thus form a terrifying triumverate of win!
God, I love this … that’s how I talk over my kids when I am trying to catch them in a fuckeroo and make them squirm. She interrupts, says his name many times, speaks in a demeaning tone of voice … she HAS to be a mother, and I love her too, Rachel, even if she was the model for the original Malibu Barbie!
September 3rd, 2008 at 6:45 pmESTRe: the Megyn clip:
Did you catch the tone in her “Hi Bradley” — right at the beginning of the clip? That’s called “foreshadowing.”
September 3rd, 2008 at 6:49 pmESTAs in, “Hi Bradley… I’m going to rip you a new one in 3…2…1…”
September 3rd, 2008 at 6:57 pmESTYou just know that Bradley was a sacrificial goat for the rest of the crew over at US Weekly. Before the interview even began he was trembling. He must have f-ed up big time to be selected for that honor.
September 3rd, 2008 at 7:03 pmESTSarahcuda! And the old guy, too!
September 3rd, 2008 at 7:32 pmESTOh wow I loved the “US” editor interview. She totally owned his ass! Of course, “US” is pretty much tabloid trash anyway, imo.
And the Youtube clip was great, too.
Thanks, Rachel!
September 3rd, 2008 at 7:42 pmESTLoooooooooove Megyn Kelly! Love her style, love her hair, love how tough she is, and love her knowledge of the law. Kelly: 1, Asshole from Stupid Fake BS US Mag: 0
September 3rd, 2008 at 7:42 pmESTAhem, that’s Governor Sarahcuda please.
September 3rd, 2008 at 7:48 pmESTI hope she cuts my taxes so I don’t have to write estimated tax payment checks on September 15. And no late payment penalties!
September 3rd, 2008 at 7:57 pmESTMy wife and I watched Megyn’s vivisection of young Bradley LIVE. Never had seen her before. Never giggled so much during a news interview before.
Look, I work for an elected official, and I can’t stand politics . . . that is, until last week. Now, I’m a junkie in the throes of a HUGE bender. I can’t believe I’m writing this, but I actually wish the NFL season wasn’t returning tomorrow so that my attention wouldn’t face the inevitable division.
September 3rd, 2008 at 8:04 pmESTOuch!! That Megyn Kelly don’t take no prisoners, do she? Hot, hot, hot [that sssss sound is me blowing on my sizzling fingers]
September 3rd, 2008 at 8:06 pmESTThat guy obviously wasn’t properly vetted.
September 3rd, 2008 at 8:18 pmESTI think I want to have Megyn “This airtime is a no bullshit zone” Kelly’s babies!
Might be a little painful though, as I’m male. I mean, it might be long and wide, but I still don’t think that it’d be a suitable organ for delivering babies. I just have to be pedantically scientific, here. I also prefer brunettes and redheads to blondes, although I’d be willing to make an exception for Megyn. Or at least, I would do if I wasn’t already spoken for *ahem*.
That was the first time I’d ever seen or heard of her. Over here, the best we ever get is BBC talking heads who might look pretty, but who spout so much crap that they might as well be saying “And now, the latest news from Pravda and the Palestinian news networks”.
Oh, and Sha, if you’re reading this, you don’t have to be jealous of my sudden crush on Megyn - I’ll never meet her and anyway, I prefer brunette Cherokee girls who like guns and who know how to fix a car engine.
Sorry, everyone…I had to type that in case my fiance tries to scalp me the next time I’m over in the US next month.
September 3rd, 2008 at 8:26 pmESTSee? See why I’m head over heels for 14k? See! heehee
Oh and I’m very much stealing Sarahcuda. No you cannot have that back. Not even if you convince evil Margaret puppeh that I’m water.
September 3rd, 2008 at 8:35 pmESTWow - that’s the kind of verbal / intellectual emasculation that’s going to leave a scar. The only thing left for Megyn to do was to throw him out a car window.
September 3rd, 2008 at 8:39 pmESTI so want a bumper sticker that says:
Maverick/Sarahcuda ‘08
or even:
Palin/Whatshisname ‘08
September 3rd, 2008 at 8:44 pmESTLoved the comedy clip. Loved it so much I forwarded it to everyone I know.
I’m awaitin’ the pain train tonight, and Saracuda is going to deliver. I am so ready!
September 3rd, 2008 at 8:48 pmESTRiiight, because when I think hard-hitting political analysis, I think Us Weekly.
I just hope Megyn remembered to flush twice. *eg*
September 3rd, 2008 at 8:50 pmESTIs it just me or does any one else think given another 30 seconds Megyn would of had that metrosexual crying?
September 3rd, 2008 at 9:03 pmESTShould have started the piece with this … heh!
Choke on that, wussboy.
September 3rd, 2008 at 9:05 pmESTHLF, that man-twat thinks that US magazine is some hard hitting news mag? Yeah, they had to go with the crrrrrap they have been pulling from the leftist internet blogs because the story was breaking news. They had to run with it, no time to get bogged down in those, what are they called, oh yes, DETAILS.
Need to punch a hippie, NEED to punch a hippie.
and a medicinal Budweiser, maybe two.
September 3rd, 2008 at 9:34 pmESTWatching her speech.
Not only is she the real deal, she is bad ass.
Obama’s nuts are now on a mantle in Wasilla.
September 3rd, 2008 at 10:04 pmESTLong drive…watch that baby… OUTTA HERE!
/Harry Kalas
September 3rd, 2008 at 10:21 pmESTThat was an awesome speech, indeed.
*cue Sarahcuda caused swoon*
September 3rd, 2008 at 10:24 pmESTSpeech was great. Biden better be ready for October or he’s gonna get his ass handed to him
Dyslexics for Palin\McCain!
September 3rd, 2008 at 10:27 pmESThttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4bt_-R5LInU&feature=related
Someone needs to hook into this and change it into….”Sarahcuda.” (Like the ellipses…?) Maybe we can call Ann and Nancy Wilson????
Having just watched Palin’s speech…I.AM.IN.LOVE. Witty, smart, ballsy–my kind of woman!
September 3rd, 2008 at 10:29 pmESTI. Want. To. Have. Her. Chilrunz!
September 3rd, 2008 at 10:29 pmESTWe need to make some of those bumper stickers, rickl. The “Palin/Whatshisname ‘08″ bumper stickers. Awesome!
September 3rd, 2008 at 10:30 pmESTThis blog entry is why Rachel Lucas is the goddess of the blogosphere!
September 3rd, 2008 at 10:31 pmESTGreat Speech.
Someone needs to tell Levi not to be chewin’ gum on national TV.
September 3rd, 2008 at 10:36 pmESTOoh, RL - you stepped in it there:
Did you not even read the earlier post about grammar peeves?
Go write on the blackboard 100 times: “would’ve, would’ve, would’ve, … “
September 3rd, 2008 at 10:39 pmESTShe whipped the asses of Barry and Biden. They’re hanging on the shed. Fred.
September 3rd, 2008 at 10:42 pmESTObama/Biden downed at least 3 bottles of scotch tonight.
September 3rd, 2008 at 10:48 pmEST“Hi Bradley, I just wanted to say that I’m going to cut off your nuts and make you eat them on the air, you useless, lying sack of shit.”
BTW, Gov. Palin just kicked some serious freaking ass. I nearly wet myself with glee.
Wait, did that sound gay? Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
September 3rd, 2008 at 10:49 pmESTSaw the comedy video earlier today and loved it.
Just watched Sarah’s speech and she absolutely knocked it out of the park! Loved it! I’ve been advocating for her since this spring and I can’t tell you how happy I am McCain went with her.
Megyn Kelly is awesome - one of the best anchors ever. And one of the reasons I watch FOX…along with Brit Hume.
September 3rd, 2008 at 10:54 pmESTI am doing a happy dance, as I type this. Our VP– A pitbull with lipstick! I expected a spectacular performance and she delivered. Watching Bradley’s skewering by a young woman I also admire is simply icing on an already diabetic-coma inducing cake.
I have run out of words.
September 3rd, 2008 at 10:57 pmESTI’m going on record as saying if Sarah Palin ever needs help raising her kids, I’ll be the first to volunteer to babysit and help out.
Hell I’ll even breastfeed Trig if necessary. I don’t know if that’s even physically possible, but F__ it dude, I’m man enough to give it a shot.
September 3rd, 2008 at 11:04 pmEST“hold on Northern Exposure!” LOL, love it!
And just watched Sarah speak tonight, awesome! I admit that I felt sick in the stomach in the last few days over the digusting attacks lobbed at Sarah and her family, but no more, clearly Sarah Palin can stick back with a knife while smiling.
BTW, does anybody else get the feeling that Obama is having VP buyers remorse?
September 3rd, 2008 at 11:19 pmESTP.S. I want to be Megyn Kelly’s much abused love slave. Hurt me baby, please, I need it so bad.
September 3rd, 2008 at 11:27 pmESTOriginal comment moved to topical thread.
The ‘08 Sarahcuda. I bet it’s gonna be a bitch to control — won’t be any power steering on THIS vehicle, and the brakes, well, I bet they won’t be anti-lock. We all know what the headlights and chassis look like, and can pretty much extrapolate the curvature and beauty of the interior. I’m thinking a 727 TorqueFlite tranny, and the classic Hemi-V8 (too sexy for a Slant-6). Fuzzy dice on the rearview, and an “Over” bumper sticker.
It’s gonna be a sweet ride, people!
September 3rd, 2008 at 11:29 pmESTThanks Rachel. For the first time I actually listened to Megyn Kelly. Usually when she comes on the tube I just drool on myself and make guttural noises. That poor bastard from Us got his nuts handed to him.
” I have loved her for years in ways that confuse me and intrigue my boyfriend.”
Feel free to share your feelings with us any time.
September 3rd, 2008 at 11:53 pmESTJust for you, Rachl.
September 3rd, 2008 at 11:58 pmESTWhoever they got to portray the Sarahcuda was spot-on, wasn’t she? Holy cow, I’m actually enjoying a political campaign!
Please, take this $h!t HOME, ‘cuda.
September 4th, 2008 at 12:50 amESTOh my lordy, pwnt.
September 4th, 2008 at 8:30 amESTAs a father of several special needs children, I almost cried when Gov. Palin said that we’d have an advocate in the White House. She has my vote whenever and whereever she needs it.
September 4th, 2008 at 9:21 amESTBTW, does anybody else get the feeling that Obama is having VP buyers remorse?
Yes. I think he’s wishing that he had chosen someone like 2 year governor of Ohio Ted Strickland. Ohio is a key swing state, and having Strickland on the ticket could have easily given Ohio to Obama. That could have quite likely been the difference.
http://www.papagolfchronicles.com/2008/08/exercising-my-right-to-balther.html
September 4th, 2008 at 10:12 amESTSteve:
Me, too. The use of the word “advocate” carries special meaning among us sped-parents.
As an I-MA, I was going to sit out this election, even though I was a McCain supporter in the previous run-ups to the election. Not anymore.
McCain/Palin has my vote.
(Not that it’ll help, being from MA and all. The only time I see McCain campaign ads is when I go to NH on vacation.)
September 4th, 2008 at 4:00 pmESTMetrosexual dipshit.
September 4th, 2008 at 7:03 pmESTAs for the first You Tube vid. It’s ALL REAL! Those were NOT ACTORS!
September 5th, 2008 at 1:20 pmESTAs for You Tube vid #2. I wonder if you’ll find on Megyn Kelly’s desk, a jar filled with formaldehyde and Bradley Jacobs balls?
I don’t see Megyn on Red Eye as much I used to, but let me tell you this, she is a friggin’ smart cookie. She regularly pillories idiots on the morning Fox news program and doesn’t take shi’ite from anyone.
This tool from US is just another notch on her lipstick case.
September 5th, 2008 at 5:02 pmESTHA! It must mean I’m really shallow or a genius in disguise because my favorite part was “in ways that confuse me and intrigue my boyfriend”…
I heart you.
September 6th, 2008 at 10:05 pmEST