Hillbilly Travelogue: Prague.
We got back to the UK on Sunday evening, and I can officially say that England finally feels like home to me because as soon as I saw British land from my window seat on the plane, I felt cuddly inside. And I must really love England a lot because I was happy to be back here even though I had fallen in love with and actually married Poland, where we spent the last several days of our trip. I didn’t want to leave Poland and will explain why in a few days, but first I must cover Prague, and then Vienna.
So Prague, in the land of the Czech Republic (which I still have trouble saying because my brain defaults to “Czechoslovakia” since that’s what it was my entire childhood), I frankly found enchanting. I knew it was called things like “The Golden City” but I had to walk the streets to understand why. So many of the buildings are decorated with bits of gold, and in a surprisingly attractive way, that Rupert and I could not help but occasionally dork out and quote the movie Goldmember. It’s all covahed in goooold…Isn’t that veeyad?
I hate posting pictures of buildings but tough shit, here are some examples. It’s not literally covered in gold, but this kind of small detail is all over a vast number of buildings in the Old Town and New Town of Prague, and when you take it all in as a whole, it’s pretty dazzling and impressive. By the way, by “New Town” they mean founded in 1348. Cripes.
I also like this next building, not only for the gold flourishes, but look at the asymmetrical curve of it, and the slender green building to the left, and the flowers in the windows to the right. The colors and textures of this place made me swoon, and I’m not even a swooner.
Our hotel was only about two blocks from the main square in Old Town, which for some ungodly confusing reason is called…Old Town Square.
The first picture of this post up there is of the Old Town Hall on our first night, just after dusk. I couldn’t believe the deep blue of the sky and the way the buildings surrounding the square were lit up, and the pleasing crowds. It was all just so dang pleasing and I still can’t put my finger on why, other than the obvious beauty of the place.
The top pic up there was to my left as we sat and drank delicious Pilsner Urquell beers (locally brewed and fresh and awesome, and I don’t even like beer), but to my right was my very favorite building in Prague: the Tyn Church, built in 1365. It kinda looked like Disneyworld, but the more Rupert and I both stared at it, the more we loved it.
You might wonder why I post that shot instead of one of the same church up close, without those squatty yellow buildings blocking the view. I would LOVE to post such a photo, but that’s not possible, because at some point in time, some stupid assholes decided it would be a good idea to build new buildings literally directly in front of – and even physically contacting the front wall of – the Tyn Church.
I shit you not, those buildings are built right up against the external walls of the church. They barely left the main arched front doorway accessible; it’s just crammed between two much more modern walls with shops and restaurants. It is kind of sad. I know they had their reasons, but still, imagine what it would look like with open space around it. The main archway is huge and glorious, which I only know because we went between the two restaurants attached to it now. I’m not even a Christian and this seems to me a sacrilege.
At the same time, I hate to complain because at large, the city of Prague seems to have gone to great lengths to preserve history (as you’ll see below) and make itself beautiful. Rupert and I spent 3 nights there and loved every minute, and would go back there again.
My only complaint is that it was hot and sunny, so much that we had to buy sunscreen at the Tesco (Americans aren’t the only economic imperialists – there are plenty of Brit shops in Czech land).
And our room had no air conditioning and no fan, so the only relief was opening the windows, and wouldn’t you know? Just below us was a bar, from which poured forth LOUD DRUNKEN FUCKERS all through the night.
Even when we thought that was over, then came the recycling truck at about 3 a.m., for which the bar brought out load! after! load! of empty glass to loudly and wantonly shatter into the truck.
It was a tad problematic. Suffocate from the heat or lie awake all night with the noise? Rupert repeatedly threatened to urinate upon the people on the street below, while I repeatedly went much further and threatened to throw actual chairs and tables and lamps and other hard Death Objects down there.
Mostly I bitched about how, fine, if these people refuse to have air conditioning in their buildings, THE LEAST THEY COULD DO IS PROVIDE A GODDAMN FAN.
Seriously, a simple fan. For the love of all that is Holy on this planet.
Ten dollars. Ten dollars will buy you this simple fan. I don’t give a shit what your koruna is worth, I know a beer costs the equivalent of 5 bucks, and thus two beers could buy a basic fan for the room. Do it. Do it. Do it.
The moral of the story is that even though we loved Prague, we did not really sleep at all for the three nights we were there.
Seriously, Europeans? Please? If not A/C, then at least fans. Just simple no-frills fans. Your failure to provide such is indicative of a general failure to innovate or inspire. Just saying. No seriously, I am saying, this is something you need to think about next time you wonder why Americans win all the Nobel science prizes or some such.
It’s because we have air conditioning and/or fans. No joke, think about it, if intelligent people can’t even sleep because either they suffocate or because horrific noise echoes up through the canyons of city buildings – beautiful as they may be, they echo like a BITCH – then you’ve got a problem.
The heat was somewhat relieved the day we were at the Prague castle because it poured rain. Never have I been so euphoric over rain. Rupert is an Army veteran so none of this shit bothers him at all, but it was a new experience for me to be excited about walking through water flowing from above out of my control.
It was wet and cold and that is what I wanted after two days with no A/C or fans. Damn be to my purse, my contact lenses, my hair and my shoes. Better than sweat.
Besides, no matter what the weather did, it was better than Texas; my mom sent me a few emails while we were gone, which I got when we returned the other day.
Stark, horrifying emails. Such as a photo of their indoor/outdoor thermometer posed upon a clock.
That’s 11:40 p.m. As in, almost midnight and almost 90 degrees Fahrenheit. Jesus Christ Superstar. My parents are saints and thus they are letting Sunny and Maggie live inside the house when it’s hot, despite how stinky and disgusting those two piglets are. If you knew what these dogs smelled like, which you do if you have stinky summer fat dogs, then well, you know. It’s like human B.O. times ten, with dog breath and poopy smell thrown in.
Totally veering away from that topic, as much as we all regret leaving the subject of dog body odor, I have to mention the food in the Czech Republic.
MY GOD PEOPLE! THE FOOD! If you’re a vegetarian, you should not ever attempt to travel to central/eastern Europe, because you’ll starve to death. If you like meat and taters, welcome to Heaven.
Our first night there, Rupert had schnitzel and I had goulash. Holy mother of holy mothers! Czech goulash is like the best American beef stew you ever had, only a million times better. I do not exaggerate, the stuff is perfection.
It was served at this place in Prague with cold “cabbage salad”, which I expected to be a disgusting version of the worst cole slaw in hell, but seriously MY GOD PEOPLE!
It was alchemy cabbage, sprinkled with awesomeness and fairy dust. Also, as I said above, the local Pilsner beer was terrific, and this from a person who generally does not drink or like beer. It makes a big difference when this stuff is fresh.
As I have a mental disorder, I took almost 50 international dog pics on this trip, the best of which will be in a separate post this week. For now, here is what we saw the next day in the square: a cello trio of boys that could not have been older than 18, and they were very good (although they played the Beatles at one point, which is always wrong and regrettable).
Rupert and I even felt compelled to put some money in their open cello case because we were so shocked and thrilled to see teenage boys doing something other than being yobs, chavs, or general drains on society. But most importantly, check out the regal beast surveying them.
Also in the square that day, we saw what looked like a spread of garbage right in front of the Jan Hus Monument, and in point of fact that’s exactly what it was, garbage on the ground with candles strewn about, except the people who put it there fancied it a “memorial” and a “tribute”. Yes that’s right, Prague’s own Michael Jackson FoolFest.
Up close, there were tons of little notes saying stupid shit like “We Love You, Michael!” I stomped all over and laid waste to the whole thing, or at least fantasized about doing so.
Rupert still won’t let me commit crimes in foreign countries; some nonsense about “no American lawyers” and “we don’t speak the language” and “it will ruin our vacation and possibly our lives”.
That trash-heap pic was taken at about 10 a.m., and when we walked back through the square at roughly 3 p.m., all the crap was gone. I have never been more excited about and impressed by someone else’s intelligence than I was right then. Whoever put out the order to have that monstrosity cleaned up is my own personal hero forever.
Of the three countries we spent time in on this trip, only one is on the Euro currency (Austria). The Czech Republic still uses their koruna (usually shown on prices as CZK), and all I know is that getting cash out of the ATM there is a heady experience and will make you feel rich if you pretend to yourself that you don’t know math.
Rupert was paying for our drinks with that bill, and I was all spazzed with my Holy shit!!!, and he was all patient with his Um sweetie, remember what we talked about?, and I let him explain to me again that 1000 CZK = $53.61.
I decided not to pay attention to his silly maths and ridiculous truths, and to let myself feel like a superstar, until I bought a dozen postcards the next day at the Prague castle and the girl chirpily announced that my total was 300 CZK.
Maybe I didn’t see enough art in America, or maybe the Central/Eastern Europeans are just freaky, but I was a little disturbed by some of the sculpture I saw in Prague. Tell me you do not have troubled feelings about gynecology or amputations, or fuckin’ muppets, from this:
It’s for/about/of Franz Kafka, the famous writer. Rupert and I stood staring for a few moments, trying to deal with it, and never really did. I just don’t think that kind of “art” is something that is dealt with so much as accepted and moved on from.
We were actually on that street looking not for the statue but for the Old Jewish Cemetery, which is just to the left of this. I wanted to go into the cemetery and the Pinkas Synagogue it’s attached to (the cemetery is hundreds of years old and has over 12,000 tombstones piled up on each other), but there was a giant group of Jewish tourists there right then, and the truth is, we didn’t want to interfere. We may be hillbilly ‘Murricans but we know when to defer.
The Kafka was not the freaky-deakiest sculpture/statue thingy we saw in Prague.
Oh no. No sir.
One of the most fun and exciting things about blogging is posting things like that photo, saying I don’t “get” it, and then watching the comments but most often the private emails pour in (because they know what dicks they sound like) that try to “explain” the “symbolism” to me.
Lest anyone be tempted to do so with the above work of “art”, hear me now and believe me later, but TRUST ME, I KNOW WHAT IT MEANS. As much as it looks like an invitation to buttsecks or just a general raping of humanity by death – which it really really really does – we non-Europeans aren’t as barbaric as you’ve convinced yourselves we are.
We know what this fine and nuanced work of art means. Because it was just outside the entrance to the dungeon at the Prague Castle. Rupert and I went in that dungeon, and we saw things that frankly we wish we had not seen, such as a genuine body-stretching apparatus, you know, where they strap your feet and your hands, and then turn a wheel that literally pulls you APART.
Or how about this, the “body cage”. I have a strong stomach and a stronger mental constitution, but this actually made me feel woozy.
Look at all the details of that apparatus. The museum helpfully has a skull to orient you. Note that below the body cage is a hole. We peered down that hole, and what’s down there is just another chamber, which is where the torturers wanted the guts and blood to flow to. Nice.
Hey did you guys know, Americans invented torture and brutality? Yeah rilly. Even though the Europeans were committing horrific crimes against humanity before the USA was a twinkle in anyone’s eye. Don’t lose track of the “narrative”, ya hicknecks.
So of course we spent a good part of one day at the Prague Castle, which is across the river and which the Guinness Book of World Records says is the biggest castle complex in the world, and which actually to this day houses Czech government stuff such as the president’s office. It also has the St. Vitus Cathedral, which took my breath away. I’m developing a taste for Gothic cathedrals, and this one was truly remarkable.
Not only does it have the Tomb of St. Wenceslas, which you may remember from the Christmas carol, but all around the exterior, it has these horrifying and beautiful – but seriously horrifying – figures sticking out at every corner. There must be 50 or 75 of them, all around the building at about the second-story level.
There is no way I can convey the creepy awe of these things but that doesn’t stop me from trying. Here’s a shot from near the front door of this cathedral, looking up. Notice the figures jutting out. They enchanted me, I don’t know about you, but they enchanted me.
The one at the very top was a dog but I couldn’t get a zoomed-in shot of him because of the light. And actually it started raining right after this, but here’s one of the human figures, and it looks damn unhappy.
Unhappy was apparently an official style of sculpture back in the day in Prague; here is what we saw upon one of the doors of the Old Town Hall. Jesus! Nightmare!
One thing I really loved and appreciated about Prague was something I’ve never seen before in other European cities. In several places while meandering along the streets, I saw that the newer buildings had clearly been built around the older buildings, but they neither tried to copy the older buildings nor just buried them. In fact, they went so far as to let the newer building look disjointed and “wrong” in order to show the tiny bit of much-older building. I found it absolutely fascinating, and almost even tear-inducing. I’m a history person; I can’t help it.
Look, this is what I mean:
And this:
Do you see? The old half-arch just to the right of the newer one? I want to know so badly, did they build around something that was standing, or did they incorporate some unrelated arch-stones into a building? Does anyone know? I’ve been too busy researching other stuff in the last few days to look into this, but it enthralls me.
Here’s another one, within the Castle grounds, and it just looks to me like the people who built the modern buildings are saying, “Look here, look, this was once something much older, look!”
And one last one, violating my ban on photography of random buildings because this is history so deal with it, but look how in some some places they actually plastered around older, intact art-stuff on the front of these buildings. Obviously I am no expert on this sort of thing, as I call it “stuff”, and I fully expect some commenter to weigh in and laugh at me and announce that it is all fake, just like Disneyland, and I am a silly American chump, but until then, I remain enchanted:
Because I truly am a psycho dog stalker, there will actually be a whole separate post of International Doggery in a few days, but for now, I present to you my favorite Prague Dog. He is peeing on some bushes, and he knows that I’m watching him and taking his picture to put on the internet for Americans, and he does not care.
Your silly concerns are of no bother to him. He must pee…and pee he will.
What can I say but thank you for sharing your Prague trip, peeing dog and all, with us.
Now I just have to figure out how to get some of that goulash and fresh beer in SoCal.
July 14th, 2009 at 5:02 pmEST…and, just proving once again… You did us proud, My Dear! Travel with Rachellucas.com. See the world. On HER terms.
July 14th, 2009 at 5:03 pmESTHeh. But, OMG, such buildings! Thank you!
Oh, and I want Prague Dog. Very much.
July 14th, 2009 at 5:22 pmESTThank god you are back – we were going thru withdrawal.
July 14th, 2009 at 5:25 pmESTCrap! No time to read. Be back later.
July 14th, 2009 at 5:27 pmESTThat was some hard waitin’ while you were gone, but so worth it. It is extremely unlikely I will ever see these places in person but it’s nice to have such a lovely alternative to Ned Flanders – I mean Rick Steve’s – to tell me about them. Can’t wait for the doggy pics.
July 14th, 2009 at 5:28 pmESTI will be back later to read the rest. Taking a break for a pot pie right now.
Anxiously awaiting the Post of International Doggery as is Her Royal Dogliness, for she is of ancient ancestry and quite noble of fart and such a post might include portraits of some of her distant relatives for all we know.
July 14th, 2009 at 5:39 pmESTWonderful pictures, especially the buildings… thank you for sharing!!
July 14th, 2009 at 5:40 pmESTOh that. I was focusing on the wood block underneath that skull/body dilly thing. To me the wood means a painful flashback to a Beaves and Butthead show where the boys would always…..
July 14th, 2009 at 5:42 pmESTWB, Rachel. I went to Texas while you were gone. I bought a fan.
July 14th, 2009 at 5:51 pmESTYEAH!!! RACHEL’S BACK!!
My normal state is to have absolutely no interest in travel outside the US. Then someone will post wonderful pictures and interesting stories about exotic places.. and I’m wanting to leave for Europe tomorrow morning
I’m looking forward to more info about your trip in the days to come.
July 14th, 2009 at 6:07 pmESTHi Rachel.
Fans are cool. I tell my kids (and now, you) that years ago it took wealth or power to be able to afford such a luxury. You’d have to pay a servant (or two or three or whatever) or brand the fear of god into people to FAN you while they sweltered in the heat that they relieved you from. Ten bucks. God, I love capitalism. And genius. Because of the combo, voila, morons like me live better than the kings of yesteryear.
Thank God that human civilization wasn’t limited to my intellect and fortitude. There would be no fans. There would be no beer. Hell, there would probably be no one period, ‘cuz nobody would have figured out sex so they would have just stared at each other and masturbated a lot.
Culture shock is a great place to remember having been slapped in the face with, umm, a different culture. You’ve got some memories to cherish.
I may have run down to the pub and drank with those assholes ‘cuz the shadow on my shoulder said “if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em.” Then again, that may have led me to a not so pleasing stay at a Turkish prison and a starring role in the “Locked Up Abroad” season premier for season 35. Or some other stupid shit. And thus, you are a damn genius.
I have to pee. And pee I will. Thanks for the travelogue, Rachel. And welcome “home”!
July 14th, 2009 at 6:16 pmESTAhhh, Rachel, I do love your Travelogues. I will come back and read in more detail later!
July 14th, 2009 at 6:16 pmESTWelcome back!
“some stupid assholes decided it would be a good idea to build new buildings literally directly in front of – and even physically contacting the front wall of – the Tyn Church.”
Damn commies! (No, I’m not interested in being corrected on this point which I just made up.)
I do hope you went in to genuflect at the tomb of Tycho Brahe! (The exclamation point is part of his name.)
“Rupert repeatedly threatened to urinate upon the people on the street below, while I repeatedly went much further and threatened to throw actual chairs and tables and lamps and other hard Death Objects down there.”
Such a good wife you are, making sure Mr. NHRN comes across as the reasonable one, no matter what.
“If you’re a vegetarian, you should not ever attempt to travel to central/eastern Europe, because you’ll starve to death.”
Tell me about it. When I was in Prague, I decided to replace the goulash in a business lunch by a salad. Fedex-ing the salad from the US would have been cheaper.
“Rupert still won’t let me commit crimes in foreign countries”
Boooo! Spoilsport! Doesn’t he know we eagerly await your travelogue series: A Hillbilly in European Prisons?
Re exchange rates, why not visit Japan? You’ll feel like a veritable Rothschild. Until you try buying anything.
Re the first sculpture, that’s what Kafka actually looked like. Explains things.
Re the last doggie pic, I choose to believe that you photographed him at the apex of a two-foot leap in the air, reacting to some hillbilly behaviour of yours, possibly your exclaiming that you could just eat him up.
One last thing: Tycho Brahe!
July 14th, 2009 at 6:31 pmESTMonkeyhumper:
“Fans are cool.”
Well, not really. What happens is that they produce an airflow, which… Oh, you were using a colloquialism. Never mind.
“I tell my kids (and now, you) that years ago it took wealth or power to be able to afford such a luxury. You’d have to pay a servant (or two or three or whatever) or brand the fear of god into people to FAN you while they sweltered in the heat that they relieved you from.”
Yes, and then while fanning you, they would get hot, thus heating up the room and inconveniencing you even more. And you’d tell them to stop heating up and go dunk themselves in a tub full of ice cubes or something, but those moronic good-for-nothings would just stand there dumbly staring at you, because there was no way to get or produce ice-cubes.
Man did I hate the seventies!
July 14th, 2009 at 6:38 pmESTYep, traveling like that will make you stop and re-examine what you think you knew…..awesome isn’t it?
July 14th, 2009 at 6:39 pmESTSheesh. Even the lion looks unhappy. Like he’s ashamed to be eating the guy.
July 14th, 2009 at 6:40 pmESTNope. It’s real. Baroque peeled back to reveal the Gothic and even Romanesque architecture underneath — mind blowing!
Thank you, thank you, thank you for taking us there! (Oh, and welcome HOME!)
July 14th, 2009 at 6:44 pmESTBTW, did you check out the Old New Synagogue? They say the Golem of Prague is locked up in the attic there.
July 14th, 2009 at 6:45 pmESTRachel is back! And with pictures of beautiful Golden Prague; great.
About facades: I think that arch is authentic, as all the other fragments of previous-periods architectural trim. Czechs are crazy about preservation of their history, incl. architecture, especially in Prague. I’ve seen the same method used even here, in NY/Brooklyn – overlaying remnants of previous doorways, fragments of trim and entrance stoop – and in North Chicago.
July 14th, 2009 at 6:53 pmESTPrague is also notorious for its medieval orientation system; they have the same system in Poland (I’m sure you’ve noticed), but in Prague it’s preserved through all the way back to actual original facade sculpture. Do they also, like in Poland, still call the buildings “Under a boot” or “Villa Apothecary”?
Thank you SO much for the great pics !
July 14th, 2009 at 7:28 pmESTTechnically any decorative water spout that is a human or creature figure is called a gargoyle. We just usually think of gargoyles as the grotesque creatures, usually with wings and are found on cathedrals. I collect gargoyle figures….have over 70 from a half inch tall to 3 feet tall.
I don’t know about those older architectural fragments on buildings. It would be interesting to know details.
Love all your pics…..never hesitate to post any of them !….Looking forward to the vast collection of Doggery pics !
Your parents weather report sounds like how it is here…100 miles NW of Houston.
Around 90 when it’s past 11pm ?….Oh yeah….misery.
Like stepping into the 7th Circle of Hell.
We’ve had something like 3 weeks straight of highs over 100.
The buildings in front of Tyn Church:
Nothing dynamite and blasting caps and a 30 minute warning wouldn’t cure.
What was it that Billy Mays used to advertise? KA-BOOM!!!!!
July 14th, 2009 at 7:40 pmESTI’d be making that face too if I had nasty rain water pouring out my mouth
Glad you’re back. Thank you, Twitter, for alerting me to Rachl Lukis’ return!
July 14th, 2009 at 7:50 pmESTHoneydew,
Bet you don’t hate some masturbatin’.
And them hot bitches with the fans would be “dumbly staring” at me… you guessed it, masturbating.
July 14th, 2009 at 7:52 pmESTI was in Prague for the six greatest days of my life.
Did you visit Obecni dum? U Flecku? U Kalicha? Konopiste?
What a fabulous country!!!
July 14th, 2009 at 8:34 pmESTIf I didn’t know better I’d swear you were just making up words.
July 14th, 2009 at 9:07 pmESTRachel that is quite possibly the best post since your account of the death of poor blessed Digger! I lived in Europe for four years and you made me recall the awe I was in every time I looked at the facades of these several hundred year old buildings. Thank you!
Ken
July 14th, 2009 at 9:08 pmESTThe sad thing is that many parts of Germany used to look like Prague before WWII. The systematic carpet bombing of Germany in WWII destroyed a lot.
(and spare me the , “they brought it on themselves” line. The fact remains that the bombing destroyed history art and culture, wholesale.)
Of course had that not happened the vandals of thje 1950’s, 60’s and 70’s (called architects and city planners) would probably have done the same.
July 14th, 2009 at 9:11 pmESTFive bucks for a beer in Prague? They were about 50 cents the last time I was there, just a couple of years ago, unless you only ate in tourist traps. I’ve been there 6-7 times now, and it’s definitely one of the best places to visit.
July 14th, 2009 at 9:23 pmESTOut of all the countries I’ve been to in Europe (only seven, but saying that makes me sound well-traveled and important) England is my favorite, and Prague comes in at a very close second. I’ve only been to Prague once and unfortunately, I went in January and being from Texas like you, Rachel, I almost froze to death. However, I did manage to have a great number of experiences with both the citizens and the food (my God, the food!) and… I must confess that I met a prince. Oh, yes. A prince. Rachel, one place you should have gone to is the Lobkowicz Castle. The man who owns it is originally from America, Boston in fact. His family used to be royalty in Prague but when the communists took over, they had to flee to America and lost everything. Anyway, in about 1990, William Lobkowicz went back to Prague and went through hell and high water to get his family’s property back and has been restoring everything they owned ever since. Lobkowicz Castle is a beautiful place, and the prince is often there… it just so happened that we got lucky when we went to it and got to meet him! He’s very friendly and amazingly enough, there are a few pictures in the hallways of him with the Bush family when George W. was still in office. (Closeted Republican? Probably not, but I like to think so).
If you want to read more about him, here’s an article. It’s pretty interesting.
http://www.bostonmagazine.com/articles/the_prince_is_a_pauper/
July 14th, 2009 at 9:23 pmESTYay! Rachel’s back! With pictures! Golden Prague with golden beer is beautiful through your camera’s lens. Am eagerly awaiting your Doggery post.
July 14th, 2009 at 9:26 pmESTI love the pictures of the buildings almost as much as I know I’m going to love the dog photos.
The only two European cities I’ve visited are London and Glasgow and didn’t get to spend near enough time in either. I am so envious, but so glad I get to read your travelogues.
Thanks!
July 14th, 2009 at 9:48 pmESTPrague is one of the three or four most beautiful cities in the world. Too bad you had the problems in Rome, which really is a beaut too. Vienna and Paris make my list too.
Meanwhile back in Texas all the dirt daubers are homeless, ’cause there ain’t no mud.
July 14th, 2009 at 10:08 pmESTPictures:
Pic one – ass. European ass. Thanks! The blurred thing in white walking behind blue jean person.
Pic two – is that uppermost left image taking a dump while staring at us?
Pic three – U Zlate Studny
Who’s that stud? Huh?
Also looks like a cake from the cake boss. Too beautiful. You made that up.
Pic four – Dali? Who the fuck put THAT sign up on that fucking view blocking building? Are those UFO’s?
Pic six – unbelievable, the way a beer can taste. And make you feel. Golden. Like these pictures. City of gold you said, right?
Anyway, there is some gold in this here post of yours. I’ll keep digging.
Thanks again.
I forgot an observation – the Hotel Studny has a cloud behind it that resembles a lion/dragon as depicted in priceless jade.
July 14th, 2009 at 10:41 pmESTWelcome back, little sister. We missed you.
July 14th, 2009 at 10:50 pmESTRachel! Back! THANK GOD, life has been so boring without you. You are not allowed to ever go away for so long again. SO SAY WE ALL.
July 14th, 2009 at 10:53 pmESTFrequently, to conserve on building materials and labor, pieces of older buildings were simply incorporated into the structure of newer ones. What you see is generally not all that is there; it just happens to be that part of the old building that extends beyond the plane of the new wall, and is left sticking out because they were too, um, “busy” to chisel it off.
Cities like Prague, that went through more than their share of “marginal” destruction (i.e. fire as opposed to more thorough annihilation), simply had more ruins standing around to use this way.
I am surprised that you didn’t find your way to the ossuary at Sedlec, however. Any pretenses the Europeans may have to superiority go right out the window when you find out they have stuff like this lying around.
July 14th, 2009 at 11:19 pmESTi’m jealous. its been a little over 16 years since we visited Praque. We were there to celebrate the new Czech Republic Jan 1, 1993.
we stayed in a soviet style hotel and froze our asses off, then in the middle of the night the fire alarm went off and we all herded out for about a half an hour.
praque in the dead of winter is something to behold. at the time, they were heavily dependant on coal, so the smell of coal permeated everything. at some points along our walking route, we were roof top height and the smoke billowing out from each building was like a scene out of Oliver.
praque unlike most cities in europe went undamaged during WWII (thanks neville chamberlain for appeasing nazi scum). its one of the only cities you are actually looking at the original structures and not some post war replica. glad you had a good time minus the sleep.
July 14th, 2009 at 11:45 pmESTI have missed you.
July 15th, 2009 at 12:44 amESTI began to worry that you had gotten the London Swine Flu that I keep hearing about. Glad you have been off that flu infested island.
And thanks for the travelogue.
I have to admit that I didn’t know that gargoyles had to do with rainwater drainage. I thought they were just decorative figures.
I wonder if our modern word “gargle” is related to “gargoyle”?
July 15th, 2009 at 1:31 amESTWelcome back, girl. It’s been a long time looking at that plane on the front page.
July 15th, 2009 at 2:12 amESTThank you, Rachel. You are taking me to places I’ll never see. I can look at pictures, even read books about these places. You make me feel them.
July 15th, 2009 at 3:15 amESTYou have a gift for that and it’s a gift to us.
I kept checking in all day until I went home to see if you had posted, but nooo, you had to wait until I was busy changing diapers and giving baths and not sleeping and shit.
Actually, your trip looks like it was great. FWIW, I really dig Pilsner Urquell, although I’ve never been fortunate enough to have it newly born. By the time it gets to the States, it’s old, decrepit and smells like rancid urine. Still better by far than, say, Budweiser, but not good enough.
Welcome back. You have been missed.
July 15th, 2009 at 7:16 amESTAs it happens it is. “Gargoyle” comes from the Old French gargouille or “throat” (because water passes through the throat and out the mouth of the gargoyle), which is in turn related to the Greek gargarizein, “to gargle” (imitating the sounds made in the throat). Or so says my laptop dictionary anyway.
July 15th, 2009 at 8:01 amESTCity of golden…. beverages. You can get decent Pilsner Urquell in the US, just look for it in the half liter cans (sold in a 4-pack), not the green bottles which will be light-struck.
July 15th, 2009 at 8:36 amESThooray for vacation pics!
July 15th, 2009 at 8:42 amESTwelcome home, Rachel.
I can make a decent clone of it myself, so that’s the route I usually go. Besides, light stuck beer isn’t as big a problem as people make it out to be. Just put the beer back into a dark place for a few days and the isohumulone goes back into solution, thereby eliminating the skunky smell.
July 15th, 2009 at 8:53 amESTWelcome back. Thanks for sharing your travels, very much looking forward to the dog pics too.
Off topic, if you are ever in London on a weekday you might be interested in this: http://daddydonkey.co.uk/about
July 15th, 2009 at 8:53 amESTI really like how you put that, about “Don’t lose track of the ‘narrative’.” Somehow it sums up the whole bizarro backwards modern …um… thing that’s going on. We’re supposed to believe that Europe is sophisticated and cultured and civilized, and the USA is crude, ugly, brutal, angry. Whether or not this is completely factually true doesn’t matter.
July 15th, 2009 at 9:21 amESTSomething like that — only you captured it much more profoundly.
I’m so jealous.
July 15th, 2009 at 9:44 amESTi wants to travel too! and see loldogz n stuff!
Wow, so glad to see you’re back! Have been missing your updates… your Prague report with pix was outstanding… looking forward to seeing more… your Hillbilly Murican fans have missed you Rachel!
July 15th, 2009 at 10:24 amESTWelcome back! Now I want to see Prague. Badly.
July 15th, 2009 at 10:32 amESTThose are really good pics. Do you have an exceptional camera or do i have unexceptional eyes?
July 15th, 2009 at 11:01 amESTWow, those buildings-at-night pictures are great. Now I want to go to Prague! And I can’t wait for the Poland installment. And the super international dog post.
That Kafka sculpture is ridiculous.
July 15th, 2009 at 11:06 amESTI’ve never wanted to go there before now, thanks to you it is now on my list of travels and things to see before I die.
July 15th, 2009 at 12:15 pmESTAnd I would give money for a straight on picture of the two faced door.
At last! Herself is baaaack on teh interwebs!!
***happy dance***
Wonderful building photos Rachel! More please!
The really scary part of the imagery on gothic churches is that they were intended to be inspirational/instructional to the illiterate masses. They had some tough lives back in that day, eh?
I totally got into trompe-l’oeil church interiors too…some are so well done that it’s difficult to tell where real stops and faux begins. We stopped at a village along the Danube to have a bite to eat. After lunch while the car was being gassed and such I wandered over to the church across the square. It had a magnificent gilded marble interior. Wow! Then I realized that it was completely painted, the perspective alone was a work of art. Which always makes me wonder who they were fooling, God or the congregation?
btw-I think the rule is that any time you stay in old town during the summer in an European city you will a.) be in close proximity to a noisy bar and/or smelly kitchen and b.) no A/C; guaran-damn-teed. The pre-dawn garbage and delivery lorries are just icing on the cake. One summer we bought a big table fan and carted it from hotel to hotel. The front desk always rolled their eyes like the Joads were rolling up, but we didn’t give a shit, we slept much better.
I look forward to your post on Wien, one of my favoritest cities.
July 15th, 2009 at 12:36 pmESTGreat pictures! My son enjoyed them also, even if he didn’t really understand. He was disgruntled when I came to the end of the post and wanted to read the comments. He griped about seeing more pictures. More buildings!
A three-year-old’s commentary on the statue of the giant skull on a man’s back: Pirate! Argh!
July 15th, 2009 at 12:45 pmESTMonkeyhumper: If you have the money or the power, then can’t you put your (ahem) staff to better use? Not to mention that if they were watching me, they’d get even more hot.
Fred2: “The systematic carpet bombing of Germany in WWII destroyed a lot.” That is indeed sad. But had I but the opportunity, I wouldn’t have hesitated a second about carpet bombing Germany with nuclear bombs. I say this advisedly.
Bad Penny: “That Kafka sculpture is ridiculous.” No no no, it’s sick!
July 15th, 2009 at 12:59 pmESTIf The Beatles song being played was “Eleanor Rigby”, then the cello adaptation would be forgiven. Anything else? Notsomuch.
Prague Dog is awesome. As are Prague buildings.
I know you’re working while you’re there, and that this isn’t just one long vacation, but damned if it doesn’t seem that way from where I’m sitting.
July 15th, 2009 at 2:30 pmESTObecni dum is the public coffee house (a kavarna)just opposite the yellow tourist kiosks in the center of town (I forget the name of the street).
U Flecku is a 600 year old pivovar (microbrewery and restaurant).
U Kalicha (”The Chalice”) is the bar where Jaroslav Hasek wrote “The Good Soldier Svejk” while he sat next to the tiny wood stove. I have a photo of myself and my Czeck host at that table.
Konopiste was the summer chateau of Franz Ferdinand and his wife, Sofie, before they were shot, starting WW1. It’s about 30 miles outside of Prague.
I sooooo wish I could make up words like those.
July 15th, 2009 at 3:00 pmESTNice pictures. Thanks for the travelogue. Now I know where the term “I’ll tear off your head and shit down your neck.” came from. Always wondered about that.
Joe
July 15th, 2009 at 5:08 pmESTFantastic post, Rachel! You make me want to go to there.
July 15th, 2009 at 5:52 pmESTI don’t get symbolic art, so the disturbing sculpture above means nothing to me except, “Yuck!”.
However, I have to be irritating to some people:
Here in the Cincinnati area we are experiencing near-record-low daily High temps. It’s currently 77 F at the airport, and tomorrow’s high is predicted to only reach 70. I got yer Global Warming right here, bitches!
July 17th, 2009 at 3:26 pmESTI’m so jealous. Prague is my favorite place in the whole world. We’re going to live there for a year in about 10.
I’m glad you got to visit. I left a piece of my heart there………..
July 17th, 2009 at 11:04 pmESTHi Rachel! Good to see you’re having fun. Keep at it!
I know what you mean about the dungeon deal. I Was at the one in Warwick Castle and just looking at those cage things and various other instruments made my blood run cold enough to make my whole body physically shiver. I learned a lesson from that: Don’t piss-off the King! Of course, waterboarding is much more brutal. I wonder if they used that ‘torture’ back then?
Did you happen to see the place where the guys who assassinated SS Gen. Heydrich in WW2 were finally cornered? I’ve always wanted to go there just to pay my respects. Those guys had some major brass ones.
Cheers!
Hog Whitman
July 18th, 2009 at 1:34 amESTIncredible! Thank you for sharing!
July 18th, 2009 at 8:48 amESTI would love to go visit the dungeon. I find them absolutely fascinating. Makes me long to visit Europe again.