One of the most startling revelations of moving back to the U.S. is the ubiquitous friendliness and I’m rolling around in it like a dog in fresh grass, probably even embarrassing myself by being so friendly back to everyone that I might seem a little touched in the head. I can’t help it. It’s like having been in constant low-grade pain for 4 1/2 years and then one day the pain disappears and you notice the sudden feeling of wellness, and you can’t stop smiling and wanting to hug every person you meet. I could come up with a million other analogies, none of which could really explain this truly awesome bit of reverse culture shock for me.
It’s not that Europeans are exactly un-friendly, especially Italians, who are in fact very polite and kind to strangers, and warm to friends and family, but I lived in Texas for 15 years before moving to Europe and being openly friendly to complete strangers was (is) deeply part of my personality, and I had to shut that part down until I got back here last week. It was really difficult those first few weeks in southern England, not being able to say “hi” to people I passed on a sidewalk because if I did, they’d avoid eye contact, veer away, and sometimes even give me a pointed look of rejection. I understand it now; if you’re socially obligated to greet every person you pass in a densely populated city, you’d spend your entire life with a fake smile plastered on your face and would never get one single other thing done. I get that, I really do, but it was still hard for me. It’s natural and instinctive for me to at the very least make eye contact and nod and give some smile to strangers I pass by, and I quickly discovered I’d moved to a place where that would make me an extremely creepy creeper. So I had to stop it, and it hurt in a weird way.
Then Italy. It’s the same there, at least in Turin. You don’t say hello to strangers you pass on sidewalks, and most eye contact in that situation is brief and definitely doesn’t involve a grin (unless your dogs interact, then it’s definitely game-on, which was one reason my life improved dramatically when we adopted Primo). All of those sorts of interactions were oddly (to me) formal and structured, always with some distance. Again, I understood it and never took it personally; but I still always, always had to hold back my natural personality. A few times I forgot and let loose, and laughed too much or smiled too much, and the other party would seem a wary and give me the side-eye. Even then I didn’t take it personally, it just made me amazingly homesick.
The other American expats I knew over there shared this pain, and we’d get together once in a while for our fix of American-style interaction. We didn’t try to isolate ourselves from Italians, we just needed to talk to each other sometimes, like therapy. I even knew a few other expats who suffered so deeply from the odd-to-us formality and distance of Europeans that they ended up on Prozac and Xanax or vodka, or moved back home early.
Anyway, now I’m back in Texas, and OH MY GOD. I am drunk on the smiles and the “hey how’s it going?”‘s from complete strangers everywhere I go. Some people, I know, really hate that about the South and Texas, thinking it’s all fake and annoying, but tough shit, I love it. It makes me happy. It has worked miracles on my mood in the 12 days I’ve been here so far.
It’s not even just people I actually interact with. The second day I was back, I took Primo for a long walk around my parents’ neighborhood so he could smell Texas (and meet donkeys). It’s not a rural area but the streets don’t have sidewalks, so we were either walking on the pavement of the road or in the grass to either side, and we kept to the left like you’re supposed to as a pedestrian. And by the time the 5th or 6th car passed us, my mind was blown and I literally choked up with tears a little with the physical-feeling relief of the years of homesickness, simply because every single car that passed us veered all the way over into the opposite lane (there was no oncoming traffic) to get around us. Even when we were two feet off the pavement into the grass, every driver swung away from us as much as possible, to give us a comfort zone.
I’m not comparing that to Italians somehow because everywhere Primo and I walked in Turin, there were wide sidewalks, with parked cars between the sidewalks and the traffic, so a similar situation never came up. But other situations came up often enough that left me and the other expats I knew with the clear impression that there just isn’t that level of consideration for total strangers in most parts of Europe. Spend a few years walking through crowds there and you’ll know. You’ll get bumped and shoved and ignored, and you will literally sometimes wonder if you’re actually invisible. Years ago, I used to write rants about the Obliviots in Target over here, blocking aisles with their carts and appearing to believe they were the only humans on earth, but I’m back now to tell you that the Target Obliviots do not come close to some of the maniacs you will see in an Italian train station, for example. Again, that’s not a slam on Italians, it’s an observation about population density and how it affects social rules (in my opinion). New York City is much the same as Italy in that way, for the same reason, I think.
I’m just saying…it’s so different here, in so many ways, and I doubted it over the last few years when people said returning home can be a bigger shock than the original move overseas but man were they right. When I came home for a few weeks’ visit each year, I noticed things, but I made a point to ignore a lot of stuff because I knew I couldn’t stay and that noticing the great things would just make me more homesick back in Europe. Now I can waller around in all of it and it’s magnificent.
Obviously not every single detail of ‘Murrica is wonderful. Some of the shocks are mildly unpleasant, but they’re tiny compared to the marvels of everything else. For example, I loathe the ridiculously – I mean, really ridiculously – oversized pickup trucks and SUVs being driven by maniacs who have no idea how to handle them and nearly run you off the freeway while they illegally talk on their cell phones, but they are merely wee thorns in the gigantic blooming rosebush that is a country with things like SuperTarget and Lowe’s and Costco and five trillion different kinds of restaurants all in the same two-block radius. Holy shit people, do you have any idea of the sheer wealth of choice we have here? It overwhelms me. I wandered around Lowe’s with my mom the other day (if you don’t know what Lowe’s is, it’s like Home Depot but better) and literally could not comprehend what I was seeing. ALL THE THINGS. RIGHT THERE ON SHELVES.
Oh and I hear folks bitching about the $3.59/gallon gas. Y’all. I know that sucks and I know we have to drive a lot more here but still. My husband back in Italy is paying the equivalent of more than $10/gallon. And don’t even get me started on the difference in food prices over here – for $55, I bought the same amount of food yesterday for myself and my parents that I buy for myself and my husband back in Italy, where that particular grocery list cost me 80 euro every time (about $105). HALF!! What sorcery is this?!?
That’s a rhetorical question. The answer is “less regulation” and “less labor market rigidity” and a million other tedious terms that all add up to Holy Shit You Can Easily Find Anything You Want in America and It Won’t Destroy Your Checking Account.
Also, regarding all the doom and despair I was picking up from the internet before I got back about the sorry state of American society, I have to say poppycock and balderdash. If you think it’s bad here, I tell you with affection that you need to go somewhere else for a while for a level-set. I’m not even saying it’s good only on relative terms, either, because frankly it seems even better here now than it did when I left. Or maybe that’s just my newly warped perspective after being beaten down by the malaise in Europe for so long.
All I know is I am pretty damn impressed with America right now.
I’m a born and bred Virginian. No offense to all northerners, but I got the same culture shock when my middle daughter lived in Connecticut and I went to visit. As an example of the “difference,” she works for a large-scale optical company, and got written up for being too friendly to the customers. No, I’m not joking. I was so glad to get back to where you at least nod or say good morning to everyone you meet and hug people you know.
Rachel,
The gloom and doom is not that we are in the condition of Europe, but that we are headed there.
Perhaps, being in the People’s Republik of Kaleefoneea, I see it more clearly.
Starting next year, the state expects me to register our Ruger 10/22 because it has a removable magazine. This makes it an assault weapon.
It’s not here, yet… but it is coming.
May I suggest armed guards at all Texas Border crossings (not just the southern border…)?
This post made me smile, and you made my day, Rachel!
I picture you gleefully rolling around in the aisles of Lowes like Primo rolling around in the yard. I’m so glad you’re loving it.
We can talk about those “phony” scandals whenever you’re ready.
You’ve always seemed a little touched in the head, I think that’s why you have such loyal commenters. Never change. And .
Ah, that’s the deal, right there. Sure, you got nachos- you could have had those shipped to you. yeah, you got cheaper gas, that’s cool.
But to set foot once again into the Lowes Matrix- that’s Coming to America Writ large.
I am, a little bit more, just because you’re back.
I am very happy for you! Happy that you are in happy culture shock, and not *OMG what happened to my country* culture shock.
. You’re not wearing the outfit are you? That might get you some funny looks. :)
HAHAHAHA! But you’re in TEXAS, my dear.
Google. Pressure Cookers. Backpacks.
All those Homeland Security types have nothing else to do, you know. %-(
We’re moving back to Denver from a year in Rome two weeks from now, and this post literally has me panting in anticipation over my inaugural trip to Super Target. Because ALL THE THINGS. FOR THE POSTED PRICES. AND SO MANY BRANDS.
God bless America.
After 20 years in southwestern Montana, I’ve gotten into the local habit of making eye contact and smiling or nodding to strangers I pass on the street. I grew up in Los Angeles and frequently visit family and friends there, and I’ve noticed that this simple social convention seems to freak the Angelenos out a little bit. They don’t quite know what to make of it … but they seem to like it.
It’s also customary here to give vehicles that stop to allow one to use the cross walk a friendly little “thank you” wave. When I do this in L.A., they look at me as if I just fell off the turnip truck. (Not that they would know what a turnip truck is. LOL.)
What a nice antidote to how much I was hating my fellow humans, having just returned from Boston. I’ll be cutting across the NW corner of your state tomorrow, on my way to Kansas City, also home to friendly-to-a-fault just plain folks. Now I’m really looking forward to it.
Welcome back to the great Southwest of the great USA. And your little dog, too.
Texas is utterly refreshing. I just moved here from the People’s Republic of Maryland. Which, honestly, is a great state with SUCK ASS politicians. If Maryland was Conservative and got rid of it’s decades of Democrap rule and nepotism and corupticratic rule, I’d see if Mr. The Everlasting Phelps would consider moving back. Because Ocean. Mountains. Rivers. Seasons, all four of them.
But Texas is delightful and I love it as much as I love Maryland. It’s certainly got more restaurants than Maryland, and better. Texas is wonderful.
Wow oh wow… I know exactly what you mean about the warmth of the South. Even though Florida isn’t technically the South (and certainly it’s not what the Deep South and Texas are), there’s plenty of Southern transplants. It’s just nice to be nice and it feels good to have someone be nice. Even though sometimes I like to be invisible, I’d never want to give up the friendliness of Americans. I think it’s a wonderful trait often overlooked by foreigners trained by the MSM to think of us all as dumb hillbillies.
Smiling because you are talking about what I love about this country. Hoping the garbage the administration is foisting on us will not infect your ebullience (sp). Luv ya!
People are NICER in Texas, also more helpful. My mom lives in Nevada out in the middle of boom chugga luggaville nowhere and if a Nevadan is driving and they see Nevada or Arizona plates on an oncoming car, they give you a little wave. If they see California plates, they mutter “a–sholes” and don’t wave or even make eye contact. People are nasty mean down here in Miami and they are nasty mean in Spanglish, don’t ever come here. Your opinion of American will come down a notch or two. The only thing that keeps me going is my occasional travel to Texas! Except now that sucks because fat-boy Zimmerman is lurking in Texas, aimlessly driving around with no particular place to go. Hey, that means Florida just got a little better. sigh
Hunh. I’ve done some consulting work in Miami, ate in little hole-in-the wall Cuban restaurants (muy delicioso), shopped in convenience stores where I had to use pidgin Spanish and pantomine to indicate my needs, and found everybody to be perfectly simpatico.
Texas is great. Texas gave us Tex-Mex, Rachel, Ted Cruz, and America’s largest library. Plus much more, of course, but that’s what comes to mind right now. I want to visit this library!
Best thing I’ve read all day. Thank you. Europe is a bunch of tribes living in more or less polite tolerance of each other so there’s all these unspoken social rules and no one talks to each other because you might violate some social rule. Which would mark you as some sort of alien troglogdyte and the villagers would stone you. Here, bullshit progressive divisive identity politics inroads notwithstanding, we are still all one tribe. It’s not just Texas and the south. I live in San Fran (yeah, yikes) and it applies here as well. The dull roar of identity politics is getting louder and louder though. Joining a tribe means you can look down on non-tribe members. For a certain type of personality, that’s compelling.
Rachel, don’t fall for the trap of thinking everything is OK just because other places are much worse (we get a lot of that in Australia re Govt debt levels) – remember, the places that are worse passed through where you are now to get there, you have to look at the trajectory realistically.
Not wanting to ruin the happy mood, so enjoy being home, but do so with open eyes.
Amen to everything you said! Btw, I live in Los Angeles, people are always telling me impresonal this city is – I just don’t experience it that way – it may not be as friendly as the south, but I’m always open, friendly and smiley to people – and they return the smiles. Or I start talking to someone is the supermarket line, or in the park. Americans are simply more open and friendly. I love walking the old neighborhoods in the hills and often I’ll see someone in their garden and they are so happy when I tell them what a lovely neighborhood they live in.
Btw, one crowded place that is very different from what you described is Israel – people don’t ignore you there – they get in your face and into your business – that can be aggravating at times – but then it’s better than the complete cold shoulder.
damn. now i want a whataburger. i am full of happiness. muchas gracias for the smiles all over this page.
I live in Wisconsin. Small town-population around 2000. My town has one stoplight, 2 gas stations, 2 churches, a bar and two mom and pop restaurants. All of the friendliness of Texas you mentioned happens here. I love it. Hubby and I took a walk after dinner and said “hi” to every other couple we passed. There is just such a good feeling in that kind of neighborliness.
Where I live someone in the area with a couple of extra acres got a pair of donkeys. They’ll come to the fence for anyone who stops by, so now almost every time I drive by someone has pulled off the road and is standing at the fence feeding them carrots.
No matter what people say this IS the greatest country on Earth and always will be! I love going to Home Depot/Costco/Lowes and looking at the endless rows of hardware and marveling in the bounty!
I guess people complain about the pool (size, temperature, chlorine) until they only have a swamp to swim in for 4 1/2 years. Then the pool looks so GOOD!
First, Lowes is more civilized than Home Depot, so I understand why women think it’s better, but Home Depot consistently has better variety, more knowledgeable staff, & lower prices.
You’re right that friendliness has a regional/density aspect, but that can be exploited. I was flying SF to OC, working the week & flying home weekends. Did it for 6 weeks. 1st week going home I smiled at pretty girl in airport. She smiled back, so I struck up conversation – not typical for the region. We ended up together almost a year (I was transfered to OC). So even in “look at your shoes” regions in this country, a smile and friendly attitude can work wonders! Only other place strangers smiled back at me outside US was Costa Rica.
I agree with SomeOtherKnight about Lowes vs. Home Depot for people that actually make stuff. I always groan loudly and roll my eyes because I know that after a long unproductive trudge through Lowes, we’re going to wind up at Home Depot anyway, so why not just skip that unproductive step?
However, if you need something that applicable to only your area, a local hardware store usually has it where the big boys don’t.
@Ellen: Where in Nevada, if you don’t mind my asking? My father is about an hour outside Vegas, and it is the wild, wild, west of nowhere. It takes about another 1/2 hour to get to the next town. Love it in Vegas – I was born there – but it has changed since the 80s. I’d never live there now, but back then, it was amazing. Probably why he lives an hour away from it!
I’m so glad you wrote this, Rachel. It makes me feel 100% more hopeful about the future of this country.
I moved from Canada to the northern U.S. 16 years ago, and right away noticed the difference in how strangers interact. In Canada, people are mostly polite, but they keep a distance from you, and there isn’t any real warmth or great courtesy. When I moved to America, the courtesy was beyond wonderful. Even the Obliviots who block the aisles will give you a big, “Oh, sorry!” and an apologetic smile when they realize they’ve been in your way. But what I didn’t anticipate was the difficulty I had with the sudden openness and friendliness of Americans. I liked it; I just felt awkward not being able to reciprocate. But I got better at returning the friendliness, especially after I got a summer job at a small town Wal-mart. Then, four years later, I moved to Texas. Talk about culture shock. Even though I still have a hard time feeling natural interacting on a very friendly level with total strangers who treat you like a long-lost relative, I’ve come to appreciate and admire it a great deal. It makes you feel connected to the people around you, with a real sense of community and belonging and good will.
My husband, on the other hand, has the ultimate coming-home story. At the same time I was moving here from Canada, he was moving here from Finland, the land of extreme reserve, coldness, and closedness. In Finland, nobody talks, nobody smiles, nobody makes eye contact. After 27 years of feeling like a freak in his own country, my extroverted husband moved to the northern U.S. and immediately felt as if he’d come home. That first day in Seattle, he said he felt as though an enormous weight had been lifted from him. And when we moved as newlyweds to Texas, he felt as though he’d discovered paradise. The extreme openness and friendliness suits him perfectly. While I held back a bit, he jumped in with both feet and has made approximately 8,347 lifelong friends. He loves it here.
[cultural analysis] I think the openness and friendliness shows a remarkable lack of fear. Americans are the least fearful people I’ve ever known. If they’re strangers, they’ll invite you right into their lives for a few minutes while you wait for the crosswalk or at the deli counter. If you become friends, they’ll treat you like family. There’s a wonderful spirit of kinship here in America that will likely overcome whatever political/cultural sickness we’re experiencing at the moment. Maybe not everywhere — the biggest cities may be beyond redemption — but the less densely-packed parts of America are very much as they always seemed to be, and will do just fine. [/cultural analysis]
Swampwoman and someotherknight obviously shop at very different Home Depots than I did. I have no idea how knowledgeable the staff is there, because they go out of their way to ignore me. I have asked for help, been told to wait, and had nobody show up after 1o minutes. I eventually called a manager, showed him the thing (on a high shelf) I wanted to buy and that nobody came to get it down. I told him to keep it, and went to Lowe’s.
I’ll go to Ace first, then Lowe’s, and if they don’t have what I need, I’ll usually suffer, rather than go to HD.
I’m so glad you’re enjoying your return to where you belong! :) This post made me smile really big.
I know what you mean about the friendliness! I took a trip to New York, to the suburbs of New York City where my husband grew up, and was astounded by the lack of friendliness of STORE CLERKS. I’d expected random strangers to be indifferent and cold, but store clerks were so unfriendly it shocked me. Do they not want my business? I’m used to smiling and nodding at people when I make eye contact also, and to have store clerks stare at me like I was a huge intrusion was an unpleasant shock. Very unwelcoming.
Where I live we have a Lowe’s right across the street from a Home Depot. Makes it easy to hit both in the same trip. Personally I prefer Lowe’s for the unscientific and intellectually trivial reason that I detest the color orange.
My niece likes to say that Texans are naturally friendly and gracious because it hasn’t been all that long ago that everybody was carrying a gun—so it was just common sense to be friendly to everyone you met.
As it turns out, it’s true all over again.
People who have lived abroad know exactly what you’re talking about, Rachel. It’s differences in culture, sure, but there’s a suppression of the human spirit throughout Europe that just does not exist in America, even in the bluest cities of the blue states.
That’s why liberals who believe that America is not special confound and infuriate me so much. I reconcile it by telling myself that those liberals who have never lived outside of America just don’t know what they don’t know. But those who have lived abroad and still think America is not special must have sinister motives: they want Americans suppressed and subservient to the government, so long as they are the ones in charge and don’t have to abide by those rules.
“you can’t stop smiling and wanting to hug every person you meet.”
I’m so glad your return has been wonderful. I only wish I lived in Texas so that I could hug you back. Maybe it’s a small town as well as a Texas/southern thing, but strangers here in central California smile and talk to you all the time too. Yeah! for ‘Murrica.
It’s funny. Everything you are rambling on about is what I have to listen to from my non-American co-workers that come to my office for whatever work reason.
They are flabbergasted at the sheer amount of options we have and they want to know why Americans think they have it so bad.
It’s not so much that we have it bad, it’s just that the standard we are used to appears to be being eroded away and we are told we have to like it by the people who screwed things up so bad to cause the erosion in the first place. We are told also that we have to like it almost like it’s our punishment for being successful.
We really don’t have it bad but if we keep going about things the way we are, we won’t be having it very good anymore either.
But honestly, my most favorite thing of going other places and meeting people from other places, both in and outside of America alike, is the culture shock. It’s absolutely fascinating.
I tell people all the time that they should go spend time in other places just to see what’s different. I’m not one of those ass bassoons that will go some place, marvel at the different culture through rose colored glasses and then come back to the States and lambast my fellow Americans while scolding them for not being as “worldly” as me. If I was ever that arrogant, I’d have to punch myself in the jibbly bits for it.
I love reading your homecoming stories, though. It’s “chicken soup for the soul” ’cause you don’t realize how good you have it until you don’t have it anymore.
At the same time though, my most favoritest thing in the world is to take someone from another country and smash their stereotypes and misconceptions with a big ‘ole American hammer and show them there are real, reasonable, kind, caring, helpful, friendly, fun-loving people here. It’s especially nice to hear them say “I can’t wait to come back!”
@Mandy: Latitude: , Longitude: -
Little tiny nothing one horse town called Dyer – smack dab in the middle between Vegas and Reno. Does your dad live in Pahrump?
@SwampWoman: Miami may be fine to visit, if you are a tourist. Living here is unpleasant FOR ME; I feel like America left and I am still here, 22 years later. 2nd Rudest City in America along with worst drivers in America. Spanglish & pantomime as ongoing communication tools in my neighborhood is quite unacceptable to me as a way of life in a major American city.
Welcome back once again Rachel. A delight to read you from this side of the pond.
I’m from New Hampshire, about as DamnYankee as you can get, and I *love* visiting the South. While some of us are crusty New Englanders, you get to small towns and you wouldn’t believe the friendliness. But that’s nothing compared to the South.. which I love.
Welcome home to you and yours Rachel!
When I was a kid growing up in NJ near Red Bank, folks all said hi to each other, and smiled and chatted…
and then the folks from NYC started moving to the area, and things started to change… BUT you can always tell a local by 2 things a) their driving is better and b) they are polite and friendly.
So I kind of understand how you feel, I only have to travel 15 miles as the crow flies and I am in Manhattan, and its like a different world. Back home and its like you said, you are just glad to be here…
Stay happy. :-)
Ellen, I’ve lived in NE Florida for most of my life. When I wasn’t living in NEFL, I lived in Arizona and Texas and the pacific northwest. The Hispanic guy that buys my sheep doesn’t speak much English. Neither did the Serbs that used to buy my sheep. They came over one day (I must have gotten on the Muslim sheep network somehow) and looked at the sheep, and I didn’t have what they wanted. I understood from gestures and pointing and size indications that they wanted a largish ram for some special occasion. I got on my phone, and called another sheep grower to see if they had what they wanted. Since they did, and since I didn’t have the language ability to give them directions, I climbed in the front seat and showed them the way, about 40 miles further. When we arrived, I told the sheep folk what the Muslim males wanted, they told me the price, the men pulled out money until I indicated that they had enough, then the exchange was made. “How in the WORLD did you do that? They don’t speak a word of English!” said my appalled acquaintances. I just shrugged. I’ve been around people my whole life who don’t speak English, and it doesn’t particularly bother me. My great grandparents on one side spoke German and Hebrew. I don’t. My grandfather spoke French. I don’t. I’ve had neighbors at one time or other who spoke Russian, Spanish, and various American Indian languages. I understand a bit of a lot of languages *cough* cusswords *cough* but my southern drawl doesn’t lend itself very well to speaking understandably in a foreign language.
Dave Barry used to say that in Miami everybody drives by the traffic rules of their native country, and there ain’t hardly anybody in Miami originally from America. I don’t get too excited by the way they drive. I’m used to it. I used to drive into Mexico in my youth when I was all bulletproof and shit. I suppose they have traffic rules there but I’ll be damned if I ever figured ’em out.
Actually, I’d rather drive in Miami than Chicago or LA.
And driving in some of those retirement communities in Florida stuffed full of old Yankees? Ohmygawd, those folks are gettin’ close to the great beyond, and I think they want to take somebody with ’em.
We northern english are more friendly than those southerners.
I would have said ‘eyup, chuck!’, and left you to decipher it.@Rob F:
@Rob F: The few of you that are left have to stick together, through all of that desolation…
:^)
My husband and I moved to Texas six years ago come November, and I could eat this for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I was born and raised in Los Angeles, and we couldn’t have made a better decision than to move to Texas. We haven’t looked back. Another couple we know are trying to get here as fast as they can – those last set of CA laws Rob spoke about being the last straw.
Hell, around our part of BFE, even some of the sullen Wal-Mart employees will give you the nod.
Have to disagree with the knowledgeability of the Home Depot employees though – my husband’s an electrical contractor – between the two of us, nine times out of ten we know where the ‘tings we’re looking for are, and the employees don’t.
All that said, Welcome HOME, Rachel. And welcome to ‘Murrica, Primo!
Welcome home, Rachel. This was an awesome post. I recall coming back home after 3 years in Germany, lo these many years ago, and simply reveling in all the things I once took for granted, even insipid TV commercials. America is going through plenty of shit right now, but I am still madly in love with this country.
Welcome back Rache,glad to here that Primo survived the long journey in good spirits and is on his way to acclimation in all things Murkin.
Lovely post Rachel. Makes me much more positive about the possible return to the USA after nearly 15 years overseas. I grew up in southern CA (Laguna Beach), lived in Washington State, Colorado, Virginia, Italy, Cyprus, and Dubai, and have traveled extensively most everywhere else, and the only place a really felt unwelcome was when my wife and I lived in the Beltway in Virginia (Alexandria). When they say that the Beltway is different from the rest of the USA, it’s absolutely true. Rudest people I’ve ever met; when you say “Hello!” or “Have a nice day!” or anything else remotely friendly, you get blank stares at best. Hated my year there and have no interest in returning.
While I was comfortable in Europe and here in Dubai and haven’t felt unwelcome, it’s nothing like the USA. I did a “USA Tour” for my 40th birthday a while back and it was the best damn time I’ve had in a long time. Nothing better than good ol’ American friendliness and hospitality. Nice to hear it is alive and well.
Well, I can only imagine living outside the US. So I have no idea what it is yer talking about.
Welcome back though.
And a harding WOOF to Primo!
That sense of having to shut down, that alienation you got when in Europe?
That’s exactly what Latinos experience when the come here. To them, us norteamericanos are really cold and reserved — yes, even the Texans, though to a lesser degree — so when I hear about Europeans finding us too boisterous and loud, I shudder to think how badly a Guatemalan villager would wig out moving to Helsinki.
It’s all about what you’re used to, I guess. I have a hard time with Latino openness, wherein you’re expected to be everyone’s BFF as soon as you meet. The trade-off is that they get their feelings hurt extremely easily, over slights that we gringos have no idea are slights. Hearts right out on their sleeves, dripping all over the floor.
So when you enter a room, you have to say hey to everyone individually (at least eye contact and a buenas noches per person) and in some cases, shake absolutely everyone’s hand, even if you’re on your way somewhere and need to get away fast.
It’s one of those cultural differences that’s really just a po-TAY-to, po-TAH-to thing: each style has its pros and cons, and it’s ultimately a matter of what you like.
Rachael welcome back!
I followed you for just a short time before you left.
The green bean on the head (of I forget which dog) is in my files. I loved your posts and I am looking forward to more dog pics.
For all its warts America is still the best country in the world.
“Murica, Pew Pew!’
Rachel,
Another thing about Texas: We still have plenty of jobs!
Rachel, it’s good to see that you’re enjoying being back home. Kind of figured you would, of course. I’d have congratulated you sooner, but I just got back from taking the kids to see the giant mouse infestation in Central Florida. For some reason, they seemed to like it.
BTW, Hell is either Houston or Orlando in July. Actually, it’s probably cooler than both AND with lower relative humidity.
@og:
I would like to second this comment. Or maybe third or fourth it; I’m not much of a reader. ::cough::
David, I understand. There is a difference between the People’s Republic of Northern Virginia and anything below Fredericksburg. South of there, you enter the REAL Virginia.
The Instagram of Primo & your great niece–Cutest. Picture. EVER!
Proud to have read you for many years and exceptionally proud that you were the impetus for Bill Whittle to get into blogging. Glad you are back. Have you some Taco Bell.
From another Texan who has visited many other countries.
JS
Nice post, Rachel, and I’m glad that you’re so happy about being back. I guess it’s good to have some perspective.
In contrast, I’ve never been outside the U.S., and I’ve also never been to Texas for that matter.
But, unlike you, I have lived here in the Northeast for the first five years of the Obama era, and I have definitely noticed a change. I guess I’m mainly speaking for myself. I can’t speak for others.
Long-time relationships have become strained. I’ve completely broken off some of them. It’s not a pleasant feeling going to a supermarket, say, and realizing that about 54% of the people I see would just as soon kill me and take my stuff.
Oh, they wouldn’t do it themselves. But, based on their voting patterns, they would be perfectly fine if the government did it. “Cool! I’ve got more stuff!”
Let’s just say that I now understand exactly how the Nazis were able to do what they did. It’s because the majority of the German people saw absolutely nothing wrong with it.
Nothing quite like coming home is there.
By the way, Rachel, I see you did change your header. Ha, I knew you would only need to change a few words. hehe
@rickl:
That’s it exactly, unforunately.
@Ellen:
You seriously had to bring that into the conversation?
I bet I know who you voted for twice.
@Kurt P:
I saw that, too, and started to comment on it, but didn’t want to bring down Rachel’s welcome home party, so I stopped. Instead, I posted Bill Whittle’s brilliant video in the forum a few days ago, mostly to make myself feel better, but I wish folks would go watch it.
I would think that Texas is improved by the addition of that individual to its population.
@Ellen: Wow, I just noticed your comment about Zimmerman, which some others have noticed too, and just…what? Why is Florida better without him, exactly? Please do explain your answer, in detail, thanks.
@Amanda: Florida was in the Confederacy, it certainly is a Southern state, despite all the Hebrews and Cubans.
@Rachel Lucas: I believe that George Zimmerman murdered Trayvon Martin. I’d rather not have him and his hair-trigger finger anywhere near me or my family. I hope my differing opinion does not banish me from here.
@Ellen: Of course it won’t get you banished, I’m just again really curious about why you think that, in detail.
Why do you believe the jury members, all 6 of them, were wrong?
What, specifically, makes you classify the event in question as murder instead of as self-defense?
Are you aware of, and have you viewed, the photos of the back of Zimmerman’s head after the event, which experts said was indicative of having one’s skull bashed against a curb?
Do you dispute the witness evidence about how Trayvon was beating Zimmerman “MMA-style”?
Etc, etc. Honestly, I’m curious.
@someotherknight: Menard’s has them both beat, but it’s only in the upper Midwest. You can even buy a house there.
@Ellen: The problem has been the focus on irrelevant arguments – some of which are actually unsupported by the evidence.
1. ‘GZ racially profiled TM’ There is no evidence of this.
2. ‘GZ disobeyed an order by the police’ * The civilian dispatcher, Sean Noffke, testified that he did not give GZ an order and, in fact, he, like his fellow dispatchers, are trained not make comments that sound like commands. * Noffke also testified under cross that, as a result of his asking GZ which way TM was going, GZ could have reasonably interpreted this as being asked to follow Martin. * It is also not a crime in Florida to disregard a comment made by a civilian dispatcher.
3. ‘GZ got out of his car’ Not a crime on public property and not negligent either.
4. ‘GZ followed TM’ Again, anyone can follow anyone on a public street unless the followee has obtained a restraining order against the follower and even there, the RS only places time, place, and manner restrictions on the person enjoined.
5. ‘GZ wasn’t really injured’ * Under Florida’s self-defense laws, one doesn’t have to be injured AT ALL to use deadly force * No one is required to refrain from defending himself while another is engaged in or attempting to commit a felony.
6. ‘TM is dead through no fault of his own’ * If you believe that TM assaulted GZ, then he IS dead as a result of his own actions.
7. ‘GZ could have left’ * Under Florida law, there is not a duty to withdraw rather than use deadly force * TM was straddling GZ so how the latter was supposed to leave the scene is unanswered.
8. ‘GZ was armed and TM wasn’t’ * One’s fists can be considered weapons and can result in severe bodily harm or death. * GZ was legally carrying a weapon * There is no requirement under the law that the same weapon be used by the assailant * A homeowner can kill an intruder whether or not he has been threatened * Those that attack cannot feign surprise if they are met with superior firepower.
9. ‘Stand Your Ground!’ * SYG is NOT at issue in this trial. * The defense is a classic self-defense case.
10. ‘Black men NEVER get to use SYG!’ * Wrong
11. ‘GZ is a man and TM was a boy!’ * As if ‘boys’ don’t commit murder, rape, and assault everyday in this country.
I’ve been a fan since the beginning.
I had a similar experience moving from TX to Germany and then back again when I was younger. The culture shock is definitely greater when returning home. The first night back, the wife and I went to a Super Kroger at 1am just because we could.
I am SOO glad you are back home. I look forward to making your blog a daily stop down.
I can’t believe people are still arguing about the facts in the Zimmerman/Martin case.
But why let facts get in the way of ?
@rickl: That mural is on the effing Florida State capitol building? I was wrong about where I wanted the killing asteroid to land; DC was my first choice. Florida now deserves to become one with the Atlantic/Gulf of Mexico.
I just read several posts so I’m not sure what was in the post vs the others…
1 – house hunting sucks and is stressful. good luck with that.
2 – I love love love watching Primo. Love it. And I am so not a dog person.
3 – it’s interesting hearing your reaction to reintegrating here.
Rachel,
From someone who has been to 18 different countries on this globe and knows EXACTLY what you mean…..WELCOME HOME!!! As you so eloquently put, this country may not be perfect, but it the best thing out there, and no one can truly understand that unless they LEAVE for awhile.
With that being said, you will learn soon just how fast we are sliding down the path to our own ruin with the current administration.
@Elizabeth:
Elizabeth; I think you are commenting on the “eastern” attitude. We here in the Midwest, Wisconsin, expect that kind of attitude and will comment if we don’t get it. The attitude, “no nicey, nicey to the customers” is more of an eastern thought process. Hey, I have a daughter in law from the east coast, sheeeesh, she couldn’t handle the Midwest thinking so she moved back to the east coast. She be happy with her non Midwestern uppity attitude.
Steve
I’m lucky enough to spend my time split between America and England with frequent visits to Italy thrown in. I find Europeans friendlier and services the equal of most things available in the U.S. just my observation.
I am an Australian. The first time I entered the USA, I am so glad it was not at LAX or JFK or the more usual places people come into America. I got off a ferry in Anacortes, Washington, and the friendliness blew me away – not that Canada, where I had been working, is unfriendly.
I still find the US a very friendly place – notwithstanding the unbelievable (to us) gun violence stats, which I must admit I have not experienced first-hand. I find your retail service culture amazing – Australia could learn from that. But it still causes me physical pain to tip people, unless they have earned that tip.
I posted this on my facebook page when it was new – I still like it 3 years later. You know what? God bless America.