Buh-bye prediction: Ramiele.
So here’s the thing about American Idol posts: half of you are so into it that you pee your pants a little, but the other half of you want to punch me in the face. Well tough shit. I’m writing about that show because it gives me deep personal satisfaction to do so. I’m just not a good person.
Last night, our lovable little performance monkeys sang songs from the year they were born, which averages out to, oh screw the math, it makes me feel old. Half these turds were born when I was 15, and thus I learned tonight that I’m technically old enough to be the mother of most of them. Die, contestants! Die!
Ramiele Malubay started the show with a butcher-esque of Heart’s “How Do I Get You Alone?” (1987). All I wanted to know was how to get her to stop making those noises. I loved this midget’s voice until this song, I really did, but let’s face it, that sounded like a Roman fishwife. And who is dressing this kid? I had those shorts in 1987, and they didn’t look good then, either. If Jesus really lived and died for us thus proving there is a God, Ramiele is going home tonight.
Jason Castro then “Fragile” by Sting (1987), which doesn’t have enough actual singing in it but does have some Spanish. He sang in French on that Beatles song a few weeks ago, and I see the game he’s playing. It’s all about the ladies, isn’t it Castro? Go all Antonio Banderas on them and watch the votes roll in. Well played, sir. Well played.
Then there was Syesha Mercado with her heart-shaped Afro “If I Were Your Woman” (again with the 1987). Pretty good, but all I remember now is that Paula very racist-ly said Syesha was the “dark horse” of the competition. People looked a little tense for a second, but maybe just because everyone finally noticed that Paula’s eyes weren’t open the same amount, making her look drunk. Which she was.
I was feeding the dogs while Chikezie did something that sounded like a Luther Vandross exhibition, and I heard the judges tell him he sucked pretty bad. I didn’t rewind to make sure because I lose interest in contestants who I know for a fact won’t even make the top 5.
Brooke White, who really needs to lighten up, HA HA, did “Every Breath You Take” by the Police (1983), and flubbed her first note and had to start again. Which I’m sure gives Paula yet another reason to “fall in love with her” because that’s Brooke! I don’t think I’ve gone into enough detail on this blog about my feelings for Paula Abdul, which vacillate between wanting to stage an intervention and wanting to her to just shut the fuck up and stop trying to outwit Simon because it will never work. Anyway, I kinda hated Brooke’s because I kinda hate that song and for that matter, all Police songs. They’re up there in the Top 5 Most Overrated Bands for me, close to the Beatles.
And then. And then. Oh, the humanity. Michael Johns did Queen. This is never ever never a good idea (never), especially when you sound nothing like Freddie Mercury. Worse, the song he chose was “We Will Rock You/We Are the Champions” (1978). People, I do not have words for how much I HATED . For two solid minutes, I was convinced I’d switched the channel to the World Wrestling Federation. I found it to be utterly hideous and I was literally nauseated by the end (no joke, it gave me bad feelings in my belly), but apparently since they are all three high on crack, the judges loved it. What? It was like a fart on a cracker.
Next up and much to my horror, Carly Smithson “Total Eclipse of the Heart” by Bonnie Tyler (1983). It’s not the song, it’s the screech. And it makes no sense because this girl has a great voice, but this was spine-tinglingly awful. She looked genuinely pissed off, which tells me she hasn’t contemplated the lyrics enough. It’s a sad song, Carly sweetie, not a rage song. And again, who is dressing these kids? Her dress looked like a zippered sausage casing.
David Archuleta was born in 19-freakin-90, the year I graduated from high school. I don’t love him anymore. No one gets to make me feel old and still be loved. Oh, I’m lying. I still want to adopt him as my son, bring him home, bake him cookies, and help him with his homework. Even though he that I’ve never heard and didn’t catch the name of, but all I know is that it was precisely what I’d expect to see at an Up With People show or possibly a Christian Pop concert. It was just ah-ight for me.
God, I hate Randy Jackson and can’t even mock him with pleasure. “Dog. It didn’t work for you, for me. It was just ah-ight. Yeee-uh. Yee-uh.” Jackass.
Then Kristy Lee Cook (1984), who apparently hasn’t been paying attention to politics, the song that I thought we all agreed would be heretofore called “God Damn the U.S.A”, and she forgot to use the new politically correct lyric for the chorus, which should have been “I’m not proud to be an American”. Silly girl. In any case, I was sure the crowd would be chanting “U S A! U S A!” by the end. Much like Michael Johns’ performance was straight out of the WWF, Kristy Lee’s was straight out of an RNC convention. Watch: she’ll be singing there this summer. I hereby predict it.
Okay. Now for the part I cringe as I type. The part I never wanted to type because it hurts me in my soul to say nice things about someone who wears their hair like this:
But it’s my duty to be forthright and objective, and the fact is, what David Cook did to “Billie Jean” (1982) was Totally. Freakishly. Awesome. That’s one of the songs I’ve always wanted to love because I could hear something special about the chords and the melody, but just couldn’t bring myself to love because of my deepseated hostility toward Michael Jackson. Stupid-hair boy fixed that. Especially toward the end when he held out that note on the word “I” for what seemed like forever and it was just fuckin’ COOL.
If he keeps that up, he’ll win. All the others are starting to crack under the strain, which gives me dark pleasure. You think I watch this show to see people succeed and overcome challenges? Please. Oh and yes I know Cook’s version of “Billie Jean” was created by Chris Cornell of Soundgarden fame, but that doesn’t mean he didn’t kick its ass all on his own.
So, I was right the last two times and expect to be right again: Ramiele the Hobbit goes home tonight if there is goodness in the world. Alternative see-ya’s are Chikezie and Carly, the latter who almost deserves it, frankly, just for thinking that we all want to see her entire tattooed arm every single week. Sleeves, Carly! Sleeves.
paula was not the least bit drunk. and she wasnt being racist either. they often call people “dark horses”. it has nothing to do with being black. simon called alaina a possible dark horse.
[Uh, “eehh”, no shit? You need to finetune your Sarcasm Radar and your shift key. - Rachel]
March 26th, 2008 at 9:11 amI don’t watch this ever but was forced to overhear it last week when that biker chick got the boot..my sister and I just couldnt stop wondering wtf was up with her hair..or if it was hair ahem anyway the guy with the nancy boy hair(David Cook) I’m gonna have to agree with totally.freakin.awesome. I’ve never liked that song but that was sweeeeeet.
I could listen to a cd he put out as long as its not some emo crap…and may possibly tune in to see what he sings next>_> gah you’ve corrupted me yet again Rachel! first country music and now American Idol*hangs head in shame*
And Paula is totally wasted..but I guess thats business as usual?
March 26th, 2008 at 9:17 amMan, I just knew you’d love Cook’s rendition of Billy Jean. It gave me chills. I didn’t know it was Chris Cornell’s version, I just thought Cook was a genius. Now that’s lessened somewhat knowing it was another guy’s work, but he did KILL it (as I so egregiously and inappropriately commented in the Michelle Obama thread). NO doubt about it.
I agree 100% with everything else. My girl Carly really blew it last night and everyone else bores me. I used to be interested in what gaffe Castro would make (like squeaking out his last note and being curiously lauded for it), but now he’s getting really predictable. Brooke’s weird facial mugging is embarrassing me - she’s got to stop it with the lip thing!
I’ve heard that song before that Archuleta sang and it always reminded me of Band-Aid songs like “We Are The World” or “Feed The World”. He did alright with it, but he’s so painfully idealistic that I want to sit down with him and tell him THAT’S NOT HOW THE WORLD WORKS!! GROW THE FUCK UP!! But that would hurt his tender feewings, and he’s still an innocent at 18. When he’s 19, all bets are off, and he’ll need to buy a clue.
March 26th, 2008 at 9:17 amI agree rachel, that Cook’s performance of Billie Jean was by far the best. It was actually the first thing I’ve ever seen on that show that was high quality enough to actually be a marketable rock concert dvd. Chris Cornell is one of my all-time favorites so a how can I not like this one?
But my second place finisher would have been Michael John’s Queen song. That’s always been a chessy anthem to me, but he made it work. I guess maybe since I’ve never been a Queen fan, it didn’t bother me that he attempted to cover it - which I thought he did just fine - at least you hear confidence in his voice, something most of the others seem to be lacking more and more.
You’re right that they seem to be cracking under the pressure. But these 10 get to go on the tour, even if only one is the real winner. So they’re all gonna come out ahead.
But David Cook - wow!
March 26th, 2008 at 9:18 amYo, yo, yo…Rachel. Dawg. Check it out, baby, check it out. Dude.
March 26th, 2008 at 9:19 amAside from your obvious “green with envy” obsessive dislike for the Beatles, I agree with your takes on the Idolites. I have this feeling David A. is gonna end up on drugs doing some seedy soft porn movie post his stage dad’s tanking of his son’s career. I said it here first!!
March 26th, 2008 at 9:28 amDavid Cook’s had the two most memorable performances of this season. Along with last night’s performance of Billie Jean, he also did a similar version of a Lionel Richie song a few weeks ago.
March 26th, 2008 at 9:44 amHalf, says Rachl Lukis. Harrumph, says Carbo.
Are you one of those retards who watches American Idol?
No, and I never will (66%, 843 Votes)
No, but I will if Rachl Lukis tells me to (15%, 194 Votes)
Yes, and I love it so hard (11%, 135 Votes)
Yes, but only because someone in my house makes me (8%, 101 Votes)
Total Voters: 1,273
March 26th, 2008 at 9:59 amAlthough it makes me want to bang my head against my desk, I watch Idol, I look forward to Idol, I check blogs to see what others think of Idol. Its pathetic.
My latest fetish is to engage in a chatroom at while Idol is on. Much snark, tho not as deliciously snarky as Ms. Lucas, it is live snark.
March 26th, 2008 at 10:14 ammy sister loves him. he’s pretty good, i guess. i’m just not that into the show, but good for all y’all who are watching it.
March 26th, 2008 at 10:29 amWe now know why David Cook wears his hair like that, at least. We all saw that baby pic. His head was grotesque, at best. And from the looks of it, it still is. And he is balding, so that is never good. As long as he can keep that dome covered, I won’t complain. And yes, his performance was unbelievable.
Kristy’s voice sounded good, but I felt as is I needed to be back on the skating ring for Last Skate. Completely, utterly cheesy, but good.
Chikezie needs to stop singing bad ballads. He sings songs that no one knows. If he actually did sing Luther, he would be doing better.
I’m ready for Syesha to go. I’m tired of the failed attempts at being “The Next Whitney”. There isn’t enough coke and Boone’s to make her the next Whitney.
I felt the same way about Archuleta’s performance. And nice reference to Up With People. Haven’t heard that in a long time. We can barely understand what he is saying when he is talking, so what makes him think we will be able to understand him when he is singing quickly?
Remmy sucks. She’s gone.
As much as I like him, Castro needs to change. He seems like he should be singing in a coffee shop w/ Sharpee on the walls instead of AI. He needs to step up his game.
I didn’t love Brooke White’s performance, but her do-ability skyrocketed w/ the straight hair. She’s in it for the long run.
Michael John’s has 1, maybe 2 weeks left. He yells everything and the vibrato is almost too much to handle.
And now to your one judgment that bugs the ever living piss out of me, and believe me, I love your blog and read it on a repeated daily basis. Carly’s tattoos have absolutely, nothing to do w/ her singing. She is in the contest for her ability to sing and performance, not whether or not she has ink in her skin. That douch Blake Whatshisass, that thinks he can sing and bee-bop, got on there and is covered in stupid “I wish I was from Southie Boston” tattoos, yet no one complained. You yourself commented on how much you loved the Foo Fighters concert, Dave Grohl another singer w/ very visible tattos. As a somewhat heavily tattooed male, I find it offensive that people are still talking about her 3/4 sleeve, which if I might say so, looks like it has some unbelievable color work in it. Let me ask you this; If she looked the exact same as she did when she originally tried out (tat free), sang as well (for the most part) as she has thus far, won and sold millions of albums, and then one day showed up on the cover of Us Weekly, would you say she is a bad singer? I would hope not. Because it would have absolutely nothing to do her ability as a musician. Your sleeves comment reminded me of my mother after I got my first tattoo. “Why do you want to do that to your body?” Because I can and it is my body, I will do with it as I please. It does not diminish my corporate abilities, my business skills or anything of the likes. It is a form of expression, that is all. Sorry. I had to rant. I still will read and love your blog. Just thought I’d throw that out there.
March 26th, 2008 at 10:43 amOkay…so listen up….I pee my pants a little and almost did more than that when Cook sang last night! I was stunned when he was done! That was AWESOME!
I agree with my sis as she says Ramiele HAS to GO GO GO AWAY! She’s a big cry baby and pouts her lips out every time the judges criticize her. How she’s gotten this far is beyond me! Even skunk head Amanda, I thought, was better than Ramy, but they both suck! The only reason Jason is still on is because of his eyes coz…dude can not sing..but I do like his eyes!
Everyone else is “jis okay for me!” Oh how I do love love love to listen to Michael talk though !!!!!!! God bless an Aussie!!!!
March 26th, 2008 at 10:48 amPage,
Hey now! That’s the ONLY time I’ve ever mentioned her tattoos, and I did so because she wears sleeveless tops every single week, and it bugs me. Her particular upper-arm art, I feel, is distracting.
That said, I’ll have you know I have a tattoo. It’s on my lower leg (not one of those gay ankle-encircling kind) and I’ll post a pic of it here soon with my new camera.
Also, Rupert has three tattoos, two of which are visible (one on biceps and one on forearm from Army time). I love them and find them incredibly sexy.
I just don’t like Carly’s particular massive arm-covering tattoo every single week. I look at tattoos as accessories - you show them when they fit your outfit. You know? It actually did work with her outfit last night, but it doesn’t always. The way she makes a point to expose her entire arm up to the shoulder every week annoys me because it seems to me that she’s using it to prove some sort of bona fides or street cred or something.
I dunno. Just bugs me. Trust me, I don’t have a problem with tattoos or I would’ve had the one on my leg removed a long time ago.
March 26th, 2008 at 10:52 amDavid Cook was fab.
Michael Johns is h-o-t hot.
March 26th, 2008 at 11:02 amAm I the only one who absolutely hated Cook’s version of Billie Jean? I can’t be. Of course, it’s subjective, but that just hurt my ears. Maybe I would have liked it better with MJ’s original arrangement, but without all the weird vocal noises. I’m rooting for Brooke, but only because I’m smitten.
March 26th, 2008 at 11:03 amMy Dearest Rachel,
I know that it is the first time you’ve mentioned her tattoos (or any tattoos, period, as far as I can remember). I realized in your writing it that you more than likely did not have a problem w/ tattoos, the comment just irked me a little.
I promise it was not a rant at you, so much as it was about some of the current closed mindedness surrounding tattoos. I got nuttin’ but love for ya. In fact, if you ever get bored enough or start to find taking pictures of your dogs boring (riiiiiiight, like thats happening), you should do a “Readers Tats” post and have people send you pics. Thats what I would do, but I’m not cool like you.
March 26th, 2008 at 11:04 amWork nazis have blocked YouTube. Is there a kind soul in the house who could find this on a non-YouTube site?
March 26th, 2008 at 11:16 am“…like a fart on a cracker.” Bwahahahaha! God I’m glad that a) you’re back to blogging, and b) that I found your site again. Rawk on!
March 26th, 2008 at 11:21 amHmmmm…. As the self-appointed spokesman from the ‘punch you in the face whenever you talk about American Idol’ crowd, we’d like to know when you’re getting back to your normal self–ranting about the Obamas and humiliating your dogs.
You see what you’ve done to us?????
‘Idol chat’ is soooo bad that we actually look forward to you dressing up your dogs.
I feel so dirty now.
March 26th, 2008 at 11:22 amIt’s not just a singing contest, it’s a star power contest. Carly can sing but she’s got no stage mojo.
As for the tattoos, you’re free to have tattoos, and I’m free to think they’re gross. I have a lot of burn scars and surgery scars and somehow tattoos make me wince, like I was seeing a wound. Maybe some people’s reaction to tattoos is connected to some kind of primitive desire to not see wounds. But I’m probably just projecting.
Michael Johns is just too too handsome. I don’t trust guys like that. But anybody who can sing Freddy Mercury deserves props.
Jason Castro = Elliot Yamin?
March 26th, 2008 at 11:22 amMy issue with Carly isn’t that she has tattoos; rather, it’s an issue of the content of said ink, namely the big face. Am I supposed to be looking at her arm-face or her face-face while she’s singing? It’s like trying to have a conversation with someone who has a lazy eye; I’m never quite sure which is the one looking back at me and it would be rude to ask.
Plus, I spend most of her songs not listening, but instead trying to figure out if it’s a picture of herself or Amy Winehouse or someone who’s so iconic I should recoginze her immediately but I don’t, and thus I feel like Carly’s arm is enjoying some smug inside joke I don’t understand and that annoys me.
Clearly I’ve given this too much thought.
And in a related topic, does anyone notice how little screen time they give Carly’s husband? Every other contestant’s family gets tons of reaction shots in full light, yet they only show him for a second when the lights are still down.
March 26th, 2008 at 11:40 amRandy will forever be revered and honored for introducing the word “fencey” into the English language.
Fencey. verb. To sit on the fence. e.g. Not sure whether the quality of a song or performance was enjoyable or worthy of the train-wreck-audition-clip-show.
“I’m feeling a little fencey about that song, man.”
In a master stroke of brevity, Randy reduced a cliched phrase “sit on the fence” to a single word.
Bravo, Dog.
March 26th, 2008 at 11:41 amRachlLukis said dese tings:
If Jesus really lived and died for us thus proving there is a God, Ramiele is going home tonight.
…
Michael Johns did Queen… the judges loved it…What? It was like a fart on a cracker.
LoL!, Rachel… ’bout spit out my morning yogurt. I agree, Ramiele butchered that song. Besides, every attempt has ended in failure.
March 26th, 2008 at 11:58 amDavid Cook - he should be the winner, hands down. He chooses arrangements that make you listen to a common song in a whole new way. Seacrest did introduce it as the Chris Cornell version, btw.
No one should attempt Bonnie Tyler songs - they always sound hideous. I did rather like Michael Johns…he does have a terrific voice and looks, um, amazing.
As for the rest? Enh.
And did no one catch the politics going on last night between Kristy and Smiley (aka Archuleta)? Smiley insists on singing message songs (Imagine, Another Day in Paradise and that piece of shit from last nite) - all espousing hope and peace and can’twealljustgetalong bullshit. Kristy chooses God Bless the USA. Is it just me that sees the politics?
March 26th, 2008 at 12:03 pmWe haven’t watched AI much this year, but because of an injured pet I was actually home last night instead of at work.
I hope David Cook doesn’t win it all and instead takes the Daughtry route.
And Rachel, if it makes you feel any better, I graduated HS in 1979. You’ll get over the hate and start feeling superior in another, ohhhh, five years or so. It’s much more fun than the hate.
March 26th, 2008 at 12:03 pmEvery time you post about American Idol, Al Queda gets another 25 recruits.
But that doesn’t mean I want to punch you in the face.
I’m just Very Disappointed In You
Lamont
March 26th, 2008 at 12:05 pmTimmer sayeth:
Very true. Class of ‘77 here.
March 26th, 2008 at 12:13 pmWatching American Idol is my most shameful vice. But I can’t help it. It’s a sickness, yeah, that’s it. Don’t you judge me!
Yes, it is time for Ramiele to go. She has a very nice voice but she can’t perform for shit. The most annoying thing about her is that she always has that overwhelmed, on the verge of tears look on her face. She reminds me of those neglected kids found locked in a tool shed they show on the news now and then. And the way she bawls every week when her newest BFF gets voted off really bugs me. She acts like she’s at friggen summer camp, not in a national singing competition with a huge prize. I suspect she didn’t get enough attention at home growing up.
Castro needs to stop dicking around and get serious or he won’t last. His little “aw shucks” attitude and eyelash batting is getting old.
Syesha who, whu..? 2nd rate Whitney wannabe.
Big-Cheezy has been entertaining until last night. He is way too goofy to sing Luther Vandross.
That Aussie twat has got to go too. He’s bugged me from the first time I saw him. And nobody, I mean nobody should attempt to sing a Freddy Mercury song. It just makes you sound lame. Constantine’s butchery of “Bohemian Rhapsody” and Queen night from last year should have clued everyone to that fact.
Carly stank this week. And yes! Sleeves, dammit! Don’t they have wardrobe people or fashion consultants on that show?
Archuleta is about done. The pressure is kicking his ass. I can’t stand his stupid hippie bullshit song choices either.
Brook, eh, she’s a’ight I suppose.
Kristy Lee Cook sang one of my all time most hated songs. I was not impressed.
David Cook nailed it. He’s the only one who seems to be in it to win. I like his rocked out versions of songs I otherwise won’t listen to.
Paula was high as a kite, again. Half the fun of AI is watching her stumble and make a fool of herself.
Tattoos are nasty, especially on chicks. Hey, it’s your derm and do what you like to it, but just like “thug attire” you’ll have to live with the consequences. Embrace the low-classitude! *Simon voice* Sor-ry! It’s just an o-pin-ion! */Simon voice*
March 26th, 2008 at 12:15 pmI have it TiVoed, and haven’t watched it yet, but I’ve been thinking that it’s Cook’s contest to lose for about a month now. The bullshit about how this is the best talent of any season would be funny if it wasn’t so annoying.
March 26th, 2008 at 12:15 pmPrediction: Next week David Archuleta will sing Kumbaya.
March 26th, 2008 at 12:36 pmI just don’t do AI. But Rick Lucas: I completely agree with you about that song. And you didn’t have to stand at attention in formation (in late Spring in Annapolis) while it was performed during the new Sec’y of the Navy’s (I think it was James Webb, but could be mis-remembering) swearing-in ceremony. Gah!
March 26th, 2008 at 12:58 pmBad Penny — that would be funny if it weren’t so likely to be true.
I wish I was 16 again and went to school with David A. Because I would punch him in the face and take his lunch money every time he opened his pie hole.
March 26th, 2008 at 1:02 pmYeah, I don’t get the Social Justice genre of music to which David has committed himself. And, as Simon mentioned, there’s no way he picked that song himself… it was obscure even in its own time. Although, I did recognize it myself (still don’t know why).
To this effect, there was an on it that was deleted literally minutes ago (this is from the entry history):
Next song? I predict, “We are the World”.
March 26th, 2008 at 1:10 pmAn observation about the impact of praise…. notice that when Randy and Paula are blowing smoke up his ass, he smile gracefully and nods and mouths “thank yous,” but when Simon speaks highly of the performance, he gets really, really excited. That’s because Randy and Paula (ok, more Paula) give praise like the “self esteem” movement tries to give self-esteem, whether it’s merited or not. They praise a lot of folks, so praise from them doesn’t mean much.
Simon, on the other hand, is well known to be a hard-ass, to be very stingy with his praise. Thus, when he gives praise, the singer knows that he’s really, truly accomplished something.
March 26th, 2008 at 1:16 pmRachel, thanks for the time-suckage. I don’t watch AI (or much of anything on TV), but you’ve piqued my curiosity about it because of that David Cook clip. Wow.
Kudos to Chris Cornell for that remake.
March 26th, 2008 at 1:44 pmI’m so so so over David Archuleta and his agendas. Every time he’s on I cringe my anticipation of his crap song choice. I predict Ramiele goes and David A is in the bottom three with Chikezie.
About the tattoos: What drives me nuts is that she’ll try to wear something that’s supposed to be kind of pretty and elegant(ish) and then she makes sure it’s sleeveless so she can show off the tat. Great, you have tattoos, but don’t try to look elegant and have the tattoo hanging out like that completes your ensemble!
David Cook was only slightly better than Michael, and they were best by a mile.
But I don’t know why everyone’s like no one can do Freddy Mercury ever for all time! Everyone covers everyone else’s stuff, and Mercury isn’t exempt.
March 26th, 2008 at 1:59 pmI mostly am watching relatives of mine did work on it in two cities.
Cook was NOT my favorite at the beginning of the season. His outfits were dorky, and his hair still is. When singing he often sounded like he didn’t have the power to fill in the notes even though he didn’t miss the pitch.
Then he covered “hello.” I was floored. Power, and an interpretation of the song that left me speechless. Somehow, somewhere, he stepped up and found his footing, and has consistently improved since.
wow.
March 26th, 2008 at 2:04 pm“half of you are so into it that you pee your pants a little, but the other half of you want to punch me in the face. ”
Isn’t there a kind of, you know, blend of impulses that isn’t too kinky?
March 26th, 2008 at 2:11 pmI liked Michael, Carly, Kristy and Jason last night.
March 26th, 2008 at 2:12 pmYou know, a cross between the Golden Gloves and the Golden Showers?
March 26th, 2008 at 2:12 pmHaving said that I wish to apologize in advance for lowering the cultural level of this discussion.
March 26th, 2008 at 2:24 pmOkay, now that that’s out of the way, back to an evaluation of the performance. I’ve watched it several times and I agree about the hair and that annoying little do-beard. I also like the holding of the I note but it really isn’t more than about 11 seconds and I assert that most opera singers could do that in their sleep.
Finally, I have to say that my disappointment here stems from the fact that I cannot comprehend how anyone could do Billie Jean without throwing in a moonwalk or two.
March 26th, 2008 at 2:36 pmRachel, I don’t want to punch you in the face.
No, I want to punch the creator(s) of American Idol in the face, and then I want to nut/spay them so they can’t reproduce, and post-natally abort any spawn they may have already been responsible for.
But I like your face just the way it is
March 26th, 2008 at 3:48 pmOh, and David Cook should be arrested for crimes against my earballs for what he did last night. Just an opinion…
AND! And can we PLEASE get someone to go all Haley Scarnato on us? Please? Preferably Kristy Lee. K, Thanks, Bye.
March 26th, 2008 at 3:55 pmI started watching Idol, and when that guy who sang the Schting schong was criticized as sounding like a subway busker (and what is wrong with that?), I switched channels and found ROY ORBISON playing music with a lot of real cool people. I almost gave money to the Public TV funding drive, I was so happy.
I my distorted little universe, Orbison wins over them all, including the judges, even though he is dead, and hid his eyes behind dark glesses.
March 26th, 2008 at 4:55 pmTo appease those of us who don’t love the american idol posts could you just post a paragraph or so and the rest below the fold?
Possibly. If you don’t I’ll probably(definitely) still read your blog
March 26th, 2008 at 6:24 pmAs I am in the 66% half, If skipping an Idol post is what it takes to read the rest of RACHEL AWESOMENESS then I’ll skip.
66% = half. Must be Democrat math.
Steve
March 26th, 2008 at 7:24 pmNathan Brindle said:
Bravo, Nathan, bravo!
March 26th, 2008 at 7:26 pmI am so with you on the Michael Cookie hate, with his stupid fucking poser hair. GAWD, I HATE his hair! And worse, he reminds me of godawful Chris Daughtry (sorry, Daughtry fans) with that Creed-ish sound. But yeah, his Billie Jean was better than The Freak’s original…obviously. It killed me to admit it.
I do not understand your fascination with Susan, I mean David A., though. I want to stab him in the throat so he is rendered unable to sing ANY more schmaltzy bullshit (and forget the words!). I hate teenagers even more now because 1) he is one, and 2) all the stupid teenagers/preteens are voting for him and keeping him around. I’d rather that abomination that was Danny Noriega stil be around, because at least he was so absurd I got a laugh out of him. He’ll end up with a Chris Crocker-esque YouTube career, which is where freaks belong. BLECH.
Ramiele needs to go. Period.
March 26th, 2008 at 7:50 pmWow. I have never watched this show. I believe that this show would be at the top of the lists of things that Karl Marx would consider “opiate of the masses”. But. That was amazing. Thanks Rachel, for posting the YouTube link. That was really good, I really liked it, I concur that this guy should win the contest, and that he kicked this song’s ass.
March 26th, 2008 at 8:33 pmThat was interesting. The lyrics make it a stupid song, but the music is good and this was way better than the Jackson version.
But what was with the judges telling this kid he was brave? He sang a song in a different manner than the person who made the song famous. How in hell is that brave? What a miserable waste of a good word.
March 26th, 2008 at 9:12 pmI used to believe there was goodness in the world, but RachlLukis says there isn’t bcz Ramie is still on American Idol. RachlLukis is always right.
March 26th, 2008 at 10:09 pmOMG !!!! I’m so PISSED right now that Ramy is still in it! WTF is wrong with people? Chicky sucked too but c’moooo-ooonnnnnn!
March 26th, 2008 at 10:32 pmCarol is right.
Brave is not a word that should be used for singers.
Mr. Cook shoulda said “I’m not brave - I just picked a song redone by a genius, Chris Cornell - which, I guess, makes it obscure to you assholes - but thanks for the compliment anyway - but my friends are actually fighting in Iraq right now - they are truly the brave ones - so please direct your praise to them instead. Thanks heaps.”
Result is Mr. Cook gets elected president instead of winning American Idol. Not likely to be any worse than the alternatives…
Don’t be hatin’.
Just sarcasm. Hyperbole. Satire. Don’t want anyone cutting out their hearts with their keys…
March 26th, 2008 at 11:48 pmI finally watched the show, and I have to disagree with Rachel about the Aussie. I liked it. I hate the song, liked the performance. I know what some of you mean about Cook’s hair, but as someone we love would say, it’s a singing competition, and right now, he’s in the driver’s seat.
This is the part of the show where there’s no suspense. They’re getting rid of the chaff, and they can only do it one contestant at a time. I would just as soon have seen the Filipino midget go, but neither she nor Chekieze-Eezie would have even sniffed the top three, so it doesn’t matter.
March 27th, 2008 at 12:20 am