Calling bullshit on yet another feminist.
I found by Rebecca Solnit via (who crushes it to bits), and boy, it’s a good thing I did because otherwise I wouldn’t have realized that as a woman, I will be spending the rest of my lifetime fighting a “war” to be seen as a “human being” - because “some men” like to tell women shit they already know.
…the out-and-out confrontational confidence of the totally ignorant is, in my experience, gendered.
Men explain things to me, and to other women, whether or not they know what they’re talking about. Some men. Every woman knows what I mean. It’s the presumption that makes it hard, at times, for any woman in any field; that keeps women from speaking up and from being heard when they dare; that crushes young women into silence by indicating, the way harassment on the street does, that this is not their world. It trains us in self-doubt and self-limitation just as it exercises men’s unsupported overconfidence.
This syndrome is something nearly every woman faces every day, within herself too, a belief in her superfluity, an invitation to silence…
More extreme versions of this syndrome exist in, for example, those Islamic countries where women’s testimony has no legal standing; so that a woman can’t testify that she was raped without a male witness to counter the male rapist. Which there rarely is.
Yes. It is exactly like that. I provided a great example just the other day when I ranted about guys getting all needlessly “helpful” at the gun range. I thought that was just annoying but now I know it’s really sexist-oppression-lite and that if I don’t get to fighting this war with the other feminists, it’s just a slippery slope to the day I’m in a burka.
Sorry, I’m having trouble even being sarcastic about this because it’s just so stupid. The premise satires itself.
What I really hate about articles like this one is how the author takes a handful of personal experiences and turns them into conclusions that are not supported by broader evidence. That evidence being that anyone who has ever spent an equal amount of time with men and with women knows that, in fact, women are just as obnoxious, pompous, and know-it-all as men. It’s a personality thing, not a “gendered” thing.
But more importantly, even if you do grant her premise that men are more likely to condescendingly lecture women, to extrapolate that out into something even remotely resembling the situation for women in Islamic countries is downright offensive. It’s just like when people compare, well, anything going on in the U.S. today to Nazi Germany. Doing that is wrong because it dilutes the horror that was Nazi Germany. It’s like comparing the poultry industry to the Holocaust (which has actually been done).
I’m not saying there aren’t pompous assholes out there who feel free to tell you what’s up even though you know better than them; I’m just saying that half of them are women. Maybe my perspective is skewed because (1) I’ve always worked with mostly women and (2) all the men in my life have always been very nice and considerate of my views and respectful of my intelligence. All I know is that, as I try to remember the last several times someone just would not SHUT UP about something they knew a lot less about than they thought, they were all women.
Everybody does it. And that’s the thing, that’s why feminists aren’t taken seriously by a lot of perfectly decent people. They pathologically give a pass to women for the exact same behavior they crucify men for. Which is in itself condescending and patronizing towards women. How can they not understand that?
I read another article last week, can’t remember where it was but it was some feminist blog, in which the thesis was that men are lying manipulators and thus keep women from becoming fully part of a relationship. Women want to “connect in” and “nurture” a relationship but they can’t because men lie so much. I kept reading, waiting to get to the part that recognized that as actual human beings, women also lie because that’s what human beings do, but that moment never came. I wasn’t surprised.
And they wonder why their ideas about gender relations never change, and all the while they are the ones who keep shoving women into the victim category, keep condescending to women by pretending their own shitty behavior is not something they’re responsible for. They themselves see women as nothing but reactionary children who can’t overcome the oppressive tactics of The Man.
Anyway, this whole subject makes me want to clarify some things about my post the other day regarding men who give help at the range without being asked. Because the thought that anyone would think my feelings remotely align with those of the article above makes me throw up in my mouth a little bit.
I realize that in general, men know more about guns than women, and that in many cases, their unsolicited advice is nothing more than an expression of their interest in shooting. And the only reason that post was all about men annoying women is because the situations took place at a gun range, which at any given time is populated by 90% men, at least. If I went to a quilting party, by the time I left I would have several women on my “Need to Shut the Piehole” list, trust me.
Always good to read from a woman that it ain’t all us men’s fault.
For some reason, I don’t distill and spot the BS for what it is in the comments people make (like Obama). Reading your distillation is refreshing (usually).
I’m curious on your take on the claim that women that get married spend another 7 hours a week doing household chores because of the men they married.
I think it’s BS. Not so much the numbers but the lack of corresponding data on the sacrifices the men in those same relationships made (more hours of income needed perhaps?).
April 14th, 2008 at 9:29 amSo tell me, once we force you into a burka, will you be wearing the retard helmet on top of the burka or underneath? I should hope on top; we’d need to be able to distinguish our overlord from the rest of the women.
April 14th, 2008 at 9:31 amThank you.
April 14th, 2008 at 9:33 amRachel: That sentence alone would have had me throwing my computer out the window. I bet she has a degree from one of those Seven Sisters unis. Camille Paglia has great disdain for over-educated, well-to-do women who don’t use their brain and insist on being cossetted by the world. Rebecca Solnit is one of those women … er … “girls”.
/ Apologies to Amy Alcon for getting the author of the Op-Ed mixed up. Girlfriend is nothing like the bitter academienne to which my comment was directed.
April 14th, 2008 at 9:34 amJudging (superficially, because I’m a man, after all) by of Solkit, I can understand her resentment of men. She’s most likely never gotten within three feet of one in the years since grade school.
Ay carumba. Bitterness, thy name is Rebecca.
Then again, my comment is gendered. So…
April 14th, 2008 at 9:35 amCan’t. Just ask my poor husband!
This is another must-read-Rachel post I’ll have to flag for my college girl in my never-ending effort to keep her from becoming totally indoctrinated by her illiberal profs. Bless you Rachel!
April 14th, 2008 at 9:43 amMy personal favorite statement, which I hear from some of my liberal female classmates is “You can NEVER understand because you’re a man.”
When I point out that the remark is sexist as well as discriminatory they usually try and give me the evil eye.
And Rachel, those guys who were ‘helping’ you at the gun range - they were really trying to hit on you in a covert way. Trust me, it’s true.
April 14th, 2008 at 9:49 amUm…how could you even read the whole article. Her writing just sucks.
All my life I have preferred male friends to females. Females are catty, stuck up, and mean. Not all of them. I have some amazing coworkers who are nothing like that. But most women I have ever worked with drive me batty. Some of the men too but again, it’s a personality thing, not a gender thing.
Ug…that writing just has me cringing. Still.
April 14th, 2008 at 10:09 amThe disparity of housework hours performed by men or women is a concept promulgated by women who have an entirely different sense of “orderliness” than do men. Hence, what is “clean and entirely tolerable” for a man is “raging filth” for a woman, who then spends extra time fixing things to her standards and blaming the man for forcing her to do extra work. The man knows she forced herself to the damn thing.
April 14th, 2008 at 10:12 amBullcrap. Women do the exact same thing.
Years ago I volunteered to babysit my cousin (he was a toddler at the time) and I took him to the park. While we were there I had all sorts of strange women (many of whom were very young and quite obviously childless) coming up to offer me “advice”, whether I needed it or not.
The only difference is, I didn’t get all pissy about it and blame it on a “syndrome”.
Look at the words she uses. “Self-doubt”. “Self-limitation”.
I’m sorry, but isn’t the feminist mantra supposed to be that women are capable of being strong and powerful on their own? Therefore, why should it matter if men supposedly “train” women in “self-doubt and self-limitation”? If it’s “self”-anything then it’s really all in your head, isn’t it? How are we supposed to respect women if they are so emotionally unstable that simply giving them advice is enough to create all sorts of “syndromes” in their psyche?
I’ve got news for you, sister. You’re going to be faced with self-doubt and self-limitation no matter who you are or what you do. It’s part of life. Blaming it all on men and their evil condescending penises isn’t going to magically banish your self-esteem issues.
April 14th, 2008 at 10:15 amI’m with “Instinct”–let’s not forget those guys at the range really were trying to hit on you by showing off how knowledgeable they are. This is one reason why they didn’t listen to the part where you said your boyfriend had told you the same thing and didn’t care that you were hitting the target despite your “poor form.” The gun lecture was largely an excuse.
Course our feminist today would simply rail that’s another way in which men are so horrible to women. Hitting on them, by golly, how oppressive.
April 14th, 2008 at 10:17 amI don’t mean to expose any secrets here, but one major reason why a man would offer unsolicited advice to you (or otherwise strike up a conversation, look to be helpful, etc) is that they want to get in your pants. If you were 300 pounds with bad skin, you would likely find that the intrusions would happen with less frequency. I shouldn’t have to point out that there’s nothing wrong with that, but I will anyway: there’s nothing wrong with this.
April 14th, 2008 at 10:22 amI’m waiting for the op-ed about how men are consistently portrayed as fools and idiots in the media…how they can’t find their own rectal cavity without help from their wives/girlfriends. How we’re all a bunch of dopey versions of Goofy, loping about without a whit of sensibility, and are merely fortunate that the sisterhood of the safety net is there to keep us from screwing up.
Portray a woman as dumb, and Rebecca Solnit will be out there decrying the dehumanization of women before the sun goes down, but men are idiots, at least according to EVERY BLOODY COMMERCIAL AND SITCOM, right?
I’m not holding my breath for a piece about that in tomorrow’s LA Times?
April 14th, 2008 at 10:29 amHmm… Of course, this is all anecdotal, but my own personal experience tends to run like this:
1) Men tend to try to “help out” women more often than vice versa, often because they are trying to hit on them by being “helpful”.
2) Women are far more likely to be hateful, backstabbing, and deceitful to other women than they are to men. I have worked with many women I got along with wonderfully, who absolutely hated each other. I will not try to analyze the reasons for this, because I am, “just a man”.
3) While many people tend to prefer the company of those of the opposite sex more than their own, feminism and its attendant spitefulness has caused a shift to more men preferring the company of “the guys” than when I was younger.
April 14th, 2008 at 10:34 amThis woman must do some writing on the side for Hollywood production companies cranking out sitcoms. You know the kind, where the man/husband is a oafish buffoon who thinks only of sex and food (not necessarily in that order), is a lout of a father and smells bad and the woman/wife is funny, sexy, hip, takes care of the oaf and the kids, brings home the bacon and fries it up in a pan. Jezzis, I hate those shows.
April 14th, 2008 at 10:43 amI saw Alkon’s column and instantly thought of your gun range blog. Figured you’d be saying something today.
Why am I so very amused by the image of you at a quilting party?
April 14th, 2008 at 10:46 amI completely agree with Rachel that it is a personality thing. Although, if I judged by my own subjective, personal experiences, I would think it was WOMEN who were the most obnoxious, pompous and know-it-all. The person who most condescendingly talks down to me, offering shit-loads of unneeded and unsolicited advice within minutes of the visit starting is my mother-in-law. Last I checked, she’s female. Any time a man has offered me advice it was obvious I was a little clueless. They then give me the helpful information without making me feel like an idiot.
Since about fifth grade I have preferred the company of men to women because if someone is gonna be mean or play dirty it is a woman. Men…simple creatures. Yeah, they want to get in my pants. But it was straightforward and on the table. An uncomplicated agenda. I can deal with that.
I like men a hell of a lot better than I like most women. Rachel is an example of the kind of woman I can enjoy hanging around, and we all know that she is the exception and not the rule of woman-kind. Judging by the comments I can see there are other great women out there…they just aren’t in my family. Mother, sister, aunts…bossy, arrogant know-it-alls. I may have gotten more than my share of bitches in my family, I dunno. Nonetheless, I love men. In every way that implies. Real women love real men. Women like the author of this article are silly little caricatures of womanhood.
April 14th, 2008 at 11:12 amYour experience is insufficient.
generalizations — ur doin it wrong
April 14th, 2008 at 11:19 amAll you need to do is listen to women tell a man how to take care of a child(ren), change a diaper, pack a diaper bag, do the laundry, make a meal to really realize how patronizing and condescending women can be. It seems to me that some women believe that men are incapable of taking care of ‘domestic’ duties as well as they are. And then they bitch when men step aside, probably out of frustration!
April 14th, 2008 at 11:25 amMy wife is one of the smarter “people persons” I know, but she’s oblivious about anything mechanical. A little explanation: I’m pretty handy with tools, and since I met her I’ve built three playsets for grandchildren from scratch (one with a staircase, complete with balustrade), built a deck for her daughter, built a garden shed for us, replaced the main load-bearing beam in her daughter’s 100 yr old two-story house, replaced the acoustic tile dropped ceiling in our kitchen and installed two ceiling fans therein, built our kitchen cabinets, rebuilt our staircase and built a wine rack and closet underneath it.
April 14th, 2008 at 11:41 amI was in the process of installing drywall at the staircase and she said, “Don’t you think you should …?” I agree, it’s not gender-based.
I had two of those at work. Both seemed to think I was way below them. I could have been my sex, my age, the fact I look even younger than my age (yay!), the fact that my degree was in something completely unrelated to our jobs… it doesn’t matter. They tried to imply I didn’t know what I was talking about. I told everyone my side, they told theirs, everyone knew me and how good I am, so they picked me and he was eventually fired (after I left) for being a pompous ass.
The other guy was in a group I led, and he was a jerk, and I frequently had to go to our boss to make him do what I said… and his contract wasn’t renewed.
Maybe these feminists should realize life is hard and you have to fight and stop being namby pamby dolts. It’s not about their sex, it’s about them specifically!
April 14th, 2008 at 11:47 amTime after time, in sit-coms and in commercials, men are portrayed as completely clueless - if not outright stupid; and it is only due to the firm (but lovingly condescending) ministrations of a morally and intellectually superior woman that he is able to survive the rigors of life in the modern world. However, I’m curious. If men are, indeed, such buffoons, so doltish, so completely out of touch with reality - how is it, exactly, that we have managed to “subjegate” women all these centuries? One would think that women would have turned the tables by now.
April 14th, 2008 at 11:54 amThis wouldn’t be anything like hitlery klinton declaring that G.W.Bush pulled the wool over her eyes and forced her to vote for the war in Iraq based on lies and false intelligence; and then asserting that she is smart enough to be the President of the United States, would it?
Not for me it doesn’t. If a man is trying to be helpful with out being condescending, then I thank him. If a man is being a jackass about his “unsolicited advice” I either
1. Put him in his place by suggesting unsolicited advice to him or
2. Unload on him all my knowledge on the subject.
The first one will at least get rid of him, the second, I find earns his respect – and me a reputation as someone “in the know.” But I will not be silenced because of it. That’s just stupid and those girls need to grow a pair.
Would you be wearin’ the ‘tared helmet to that quilting party?
April 14th, 2008 at 11:56 amWhy are women notoriously bad at loading dishwashers? Exception: female engineers.
April 14th, 2008 at 12:08 pmJimmy - that’s easy. They don’t consider the path of the water when they load the dishes in it. Engineers worth anything would cringe at the notion of (for example) turning the bowl to the outside, but my wife does it all the time. She also doesn’t brace the lightweight plastic bowls so they don’t flip over and fill up with water.
I read an article once that suggested that playing sports as a child may influence the part of the brain that does that kind of planning, too.
April 14th, 2008 at 12:34 pmThat’s funny WayneB. My boyfriend despairs when I stack the dishwasher. The bowl thing you describe has never occurred to me, and I never gave the path of the water a moment’s thought. He probably thinks its so obvious that he’s never mentioned it to me.
April 14th, 2008 at 12:39 pmI’ll add to the chorus of hatred towards male stereotypes in television. Not only are men stupid, but kids are smarter than their parents and talk back to adults as though they have earned the right. I HATE those kid characters.
Oh, and don’t get me started about gun owners and hunters. How about us, Hollywood? All hunters are drunk, redneck, idiot poachers who are overweight, and of course all hunters are men.
No wonder we hardly watch t.v. any more. It’s all so boring.
April 14th, 2008 at 12:50 pmWayneB: heh - I’m glad there are other people out there that think that much about dishwasher loading. We use the same tricks.
Rachel - I read you through the RSS feed so I hadn’t seen the sweet new helmet picture gracing the top of your blog. That’s, hmmm, something!
As to the main thrust of the post. What troubles me is the implied idea that men only dispense bad, and unwanted, advice to women. Why on earth would that be the case? People don’t dispense bad and unwanted advice because they think poorly of women. They dispense bad and unwanted advice because they’re frickin’ geniuses.
There’s a bad one at my office. Whenever I put a new employee in the same lab as him, he drifts over, bellies up to their work station, and proceeds to unload is warped and inaccurate perception of the universe for hours at a time. I have to warn my new guys (and they have been males) about him.
Still, no one would imply that his idiocy dehumanizes my male employees or destroys their confidence. So why would one imply it about females? Do our feminists assume they are weaker? Less capable of dealing with the world on their own?
April 14th, 2008 at 1:06 pmThis is so funny, because in our house, the dishwasher problem is identical, but the roles are reversed between me and my husband (and my mother taught me!). OTOH, my 20 year old daughter is the worst!
April 14th, 2008 at 1:12 pmBased on this vast sample size, my contention has always been that anyone can do it right who wants to badly enough to give it a moment’s thought; so the ones getting it wrong are really just manipulative little swine!
Your first sentence in the last para really made me laugh, “…men know more about guns than women,…”. Man, that’s me and probably every man I know. They ALL know more about guns than they know about women. (Even the ones that know squat about guns.)
April 14th, 2008 at 1:21 pmPS. Love the banner.
rachel, when you find an idiotic piece like this one, and decide to ridicule it here, on your blog—-why dont you print off the relevant paragraphs in your arguement, and send them to the editor in answer to said op-ed?– i mean, we have to do what we can to stop the insanity!
April 14th, 2008 at 1:45 pmA true question of your femininity, Rachel, is does the helmet make you a better sandwich maker by keeping youf hair out of your eyes?
April 14th, 2008 at 1:47 pmInstinct, I assure you that women do this to other women too. Especially if SHE has children and YOU don’t. And Elvis– totally with you there. Why would anyone want to watch a show that reduces men to a species of bumbling doofi? And women to the dysfunctional sublimated martyroids who marry them anyway? Forget that nonsense; give me CSI or even good SF– competence makes me swoon. Uh, sorry, personal thought on company time.
Oh, and yes, I am a woman– and a woman’s college grad to boot.
You’re welcome, guys. And thanks.
April 14th, 2008 at 2:13 pmIt’s a wonder men have anything to do with us these days, isn’t it? All we (at least that’s what our so-called feminist sisters would have you think) do is denigrate the poor, useless saps.
Gah. Sometimes I really, really regret my own gender.
April 14th, 2008 at 2:25 pmIf people keep explaining things to Ms. Solnit, maybe it’s because they think she’s stupid, not because of her reproductive equipment.
I have worked with engineers (98% men) for 15 years and have never encountered one who was condescending or who wasted my time by explaining things I already know.
Re: the gun range: I agree that the guys “helping” Rachel were probably drawn in by the unbearable hawtness of the Wachel and the off chance that they might lure her away from Rupert.
April 14th, 2008 at 2:57 pmThere was a SNL sketch awhile back with George Wendt where someone was trying to do something so they went to a guy looking for advice. He couldn’t help so they went to middle-aged man for advice. He couldn’t answer so they went to retired-man for the solution.
As funny as that was solving problems is what guys do. We don’t do it the same was women do but that difference is what makes the world go ’round.
April 14th, 2008 at 3:01 pmWe may need a whole post about the dishwasher.
Before I was domesticated, I would put ALL the dishes straight into the dishwasher, unrinsed and often unscraped. Then I’d run a dishwashing cycle. Then I would take out all the dishes that managed to get clean despite my intransigence. The rest I left in there for however many cycles it took to clean them.
I’m pretty sure there was still a lasagna pan in my last apartment dishwasher when I moved out.
Mrs. Carbo used to wash the damned dishes, you know—with soap, before putting them into the dishwasher.
After many years of marital bliss, we now have a compromise. We eat out.
April 14th, 2008 at 3:16 pmBut Carbo, all the commercials say it’s OK to do this and the dishes still get clean! Oh horrors, they couldn’t be LYING to us, could they?????
;P
April 14th, 2008 at 3:28 pmBest pre-wash in the world for dishwashers? The dog.
April 14th, 2008 at 4:05 pmElvis Julep, Jess, Bill (Mamba1-0), and “the chorus of hatred towards male stereotypes in television,”
Hey, guys! Maybe there’s hope. Did you see linked from Instapundit?
April 14th, 2008 at 5:17 pmWhat a state we’re in when someone who would like to render help or aid is considered a person who, in some hidden sense, wants to become your sexual repressor.
Might I also add to this that it there seems to be an opinion among supervision, management, sports coaches, gun range instructors, you-pick-a-boss-or-leader that women listen more, take instruction better and are, therefore preferred by men AND women in positions of leadership/instructor to want a class or group of women rather than men.
Now, it seems to me there is something more than just a hint of sexism in that, also.
I think we really have a good forum topic here, Rachel. I think we could just rant on and on about this topic.
Like I have alot to say about Arlie Hochsfeld’s “the Second Shift.” As IF “housework” is only about scrubbing toilets and mopping floors.
Yeah, you picked a sensitive point on this one, Rachel.
April 14th, 2008 at 5:23 pmAnyone of the XX chromosome persuasion that needs a primer in how guys think and what interests them need go no further that Iowahawks execellent group blog - .
April 14th, 2008 at 6:12 pmOh y’all, I am TOTALLY going to write a whole post about the sitcom cliche of smart wife/dumb hubby. In fact, I set my Tivo to record “Rules of Engagement” tonight for research purposes. That show’s a classic example and I FUCKING HATE IT.
April 14th, 2008 at 7:08 pmAnd they wonder why their ideas about gender (race or class envy) relations never change, and all the while they are the ones who keep shoving women (the poor, minorities, whoever) into the victim category, keep condescending to women (the poor, minorities, whoever) by pretending their own shitty behavior is not something they’re responsible for. They themselves see women (the poor, minorities, whoever) as nothing but reactionary children who can’t overcome the oppressive tactics of The Man.
Rachel, that is one of the most brilliant paragraphs I’ve ever read. You’ve stated clearly and succinctly everything I’ve ever heard from Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton, Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama, John Edwards, Ted Kennedy, and every other purveyor of race/class/gender hustling BS. It ticks me off that in all their speeches ‘The Man’ or ‘The Corporate Fat Cats’ or ‘The Rich who haven’t Paid Their Fair Share’ have always screwed them in one way or another, but never a single word about how most people have simply screwed themselves by their own bad choices: High school dropouts, drugs, alcoholism, teen pregnancy, joining gangs, criminal behavior, poor work habits, or simply drifting from one job to another. Too bad that so many Democrats are stuck on stupid by listening to these hustlers.
April 14th, 2008 at 10:12 pmThe line that irritated me the most in this piece was the last:
So she hopes women will get to say it? Despite her “feminist credentials” this woman sounds like she is still waiting for permission and approval from men.
You have something to say? Then say it! The quickest way to disabuse anyone (not just an man) of the notion that you know nothing is to demonstrate your knowledge. Tough if they don’t like it.
If a man treating me like I know nothing makes me feel less knowledgeable and capable, then shame on me for giving him that power.
April 14th, 2008 at 11:18 pmWachel,
April 15th, 2008 at 1:32 amYou have a “Need to shut the pie hole” list? OFFS am I on it?
Funny coincidence - I ran into something similar today. I’m the production manager/layout editor for a student newspaper, and being that it’s Sexual Assault Awareness Month, we got a bunch of stories from the local women’s shelter. No biggie.
Except one of the articles was so off the wall, the Editor-in-Chief (who happens to be a woman and a self-proclaimed feminist) was flabbergasted; the Arts and Entertainment editor (also a woman) was similarly stunned. It accused men in general of a whole slew of nasty things. Being the Token Male in the office, they asked me to review it, but I didn’t really have much to add to their evaluation. She basically had to re-write it in order to make it fit to print. And the ultimate irony? It was written by a man.
So, I guess men aren’t immune to being a bit nutty about the feminism thing either.
April 15th, 2008 at 2:27 amRachel, et. al
Read this, umm, piece to view more nutty feminist rantings:
Try to avoid the urge to kill people and break things as you read it.
It must be sad to live a life where you are ALWAYS on the lookout for things to offend you.
April 15th, 2008 at 8:24 amI never offer unsolicited advice to women on anything. I can’t take care of my OWN damn self as it is.
However…the whole notion that the extent of housework is washing dishes, vacuuming floors, cleaning bathrooms, etc. is looodicrusss.
Since I live in an apartment, sure, that’s pretty much the extent of my housework. Anything serious and I call the apartment manager.
But my mother lives alone on 90 acres, and I guarantee you that her housework involves a whole lot more than those things. Things she just physically cannot do. Things like taking a chainsaw to a tree, plowing a field on a tractor, backflushing a swimming pool, stretching a fence, replacing the starter on a lawnmower, replacing the blades on the lawnmower, running the tiller (she used to do this but she’s getting up in years), repairing and capping pipes, replacing valve stems in bicycle tires for grandchildren, getting on the roof and using the leaf blower to clean out gutters, installing eyehooks in the ceiling for hanging plants, wiring ceiling fans, hauling brush to the burning pile, moving cattle and/or sheep from one pasture to another, baling hay, putting barn doors back on their tracks…stuff like that is the kind of stuff that not only my mom, but my sister, who is much younger, wouldn’t know how to do. It’s the culture of the gender. My sister grew up learning how to sew and cook and clean. I grew up learning how to castrate animals and build and break shit. That’s just the way it is. Sure, I could teach my sister how to do these things. I hardly think she’d enjoy doing it the way I do (running a chainsaw is quite empowering, after all), and I’m sure she’d find a way to tell me that the way I’m teaching her is demeaning (after all, she is a feminist).
But therein lies the rub. I freely admit I know nothing at all about keeping a clean home (as anyone who visits my apartment would attest). But nothing I own, that gets broken, stays that way.
I love how the portrayal of men as dolts on T.V. never show the wife screaming at the husband when the toilet backs up because she flushed her tampon down it.
We’re all stupid, to some extent. Just about different things. And I freely admit that it’s not always a gender thing, because some girls take to stuff like this very readily. One only need visit a stock show to see girls who raise hogs and sheep and cattle who do it as well as boys. Just so happens that more often than not, we get put in these roles by our upbringing.
Exit question: who squashes the spiders in this chick’s house?
April 15th, 2008 at 10:02 amDear Rachel,
Dr. Helen a day or two ago. I had been planning on making a comment here to try to get your opinion, because I’m sure it will be a hoot. Glad to know you were going to do it anyway.
April 15th, 2008 at 1:48 pmWhy are all the feminazi’s ugly as sin, but all the good looking women either work for Hooters, Strip, or have a great sense of humor at how “cute the men are”. It seems that feminazi’s should be mad at their parents for making em sooooo damn ugly. Case in point, look at the protesters of the Marine Corp Recruiting Station in Berkley. It’s like Hillary Clinton had 20 sisters and they all live in Berkley.
April 15th, 2008 at 1:52 pmI also cannot stand male bashing sitcoms, but there is one single (partial) exception that I thought of. In “Curb your Enthusiasm,”, Larry’s agent and friend (I think his name is Jeff) is a pretty nice, easygoing guy, with an absolute psycho shrew for a wife, who yells, screams, and nags in a completely over-the-top fashion. Clearly, she is portrayed as a total bitch.
Yet, even within that show, her character barely balances goofy, incompetent Larry with the sensible wife.
April 15th, 2008 at 3:31 pmHow sad it truly is that the only realistic male husband on television is a cartoon: Hank Hill.
April 15th, 2008 at 6:42 pmI’m with those who say that advice is a pick-up ploy. Who can fault a guy who is “just helping out”? Consider yourself flattered.
April 16th, 2008 at 3:26 amI’m also with Karl on cleaning standards. Women can see dirt at the sub- atomic level. After I clean the kitchen, the missus will spend another hour there. If her Sister is visiting, the kitchen will be thrice cleaned.
Also- a word about the bare chested Fabio clones on the covers of romance novels. Don’t those exploit and degrade men?