Now I'm back in 'Murrica. I still think about nachos a lot.
Children need to learn about crushed hopes and disappointment early on.
I don’t know why but this cracks me up; I think it may be the sad children.
From
23 comments on “Children need to learn about crushed hopes and disappointment early on.”
Mont
Keepin’ it fun: .
Good lord.
yeah, this is a lot like the thing
Seems kinda mean for the ad guys the physically go in and photoshop all the kids to make the thing look bigger. At that point it seems kinda, I don’t know, criminal I guess. Unless they just happened to have a bunch of freakishly small pygmy children show up for the photo session.
ElvenPhoenix
None of those type toys are as advertised. We got a slip-n-slide for the kids – the only way it’s actually fun is if you set it up on a hill so they can slide down – which is LOTS of fun for them but creates a bare mud patch at the bottom of the hill where they slide off of it.
Thank goodness we’re not a family of “yard perfection” freaks.
NevadaDailySteve
og,
I was bummed out when I was about 7 or 8 because I couldn’t afford X-ray Specs. A friend got a pair and I longed to wear them but he would never let me. I finally got my hands on them and couldn’t believe they didn’t work – why the advertisers said they did all these neat things! What a waste. That was nearly 50 years ago and I still laugh when I think of it.
(I’m not sure what I thought I’d see under some girls clothes, at that age it was really a mystery to me.)
14 Karat
You scrimp, you save, you wait with childish hopes in grand anticipation, and then …
Wow …so many childhood memories of crap I bought from the catalogs.
Wearyman
ElvenPhoenix,
Best use I ever saw for a Slip-N-Slide type setup (actually just a really long sheet of doubled-over 1mil plastic) was on a steep hill at my Parent’s Church. They just put a large plastic tarp at the end of the slide to catch all the runoff, and had a drainage ditch at the far corner of the tarp to take the extra water away.
Yes, you still got mud spots, but hitting the tarp with the big puddle of water that formed on it was hilarious. The first couple kids down always wiped out because the deeper water would slow them down so fast.
As far as false advertising goes, check out the box of any kid’s remote controlled toy, particularly flying ones. You’d never guess by the box that the damn thing weighs only a couple ounces and is smaller than a computer mouse.
Allen
I don’t know why either, but the title of this post just set me to laughing like a loon.
The poor kids look like they’ve just been told that Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, and the Easter Bunny aren’t real, all at the same time.
mhuete
DearRachel,
For all your (male) readers who were ripped off by the “X-Ray Specs” deal, behold the power of modern technology
v/r
mike
David
I bought the “Scary Ghost” from the ad on the back of a comic book. It was a white ballon with a sheet of white plastic and a piece of black kite string. Lamest looking thing I ever saw. It was the best purchase I ever made. There I stood, in my room, 11 years old and swearing to myself that I would never believe an ad like that again.
I can’t even begin to imagine how much worthless crap I may have been tempted to buy through the years if it hadn’t been for that damned ghost.
Even today, 39 years later every time I see an ad for something that I want to impulse buy that stupid ghost pops into my head and reminds me to read the small print, look closely, and then walk away.
STOP TEARING MY CHILDHOOD DREAMS APART.
Oh crap. I think I peed myself laughing.
Tim in Phoenix
I remember getting my Sea Monkeys in the mail. I was awfully dissappointed. But only ’cause they were so small! Geeez!
I think it’s damned funny too, and the funny is definitely because of the bleakly-posed little urchins there in front of their splashless tiny waterpark for the gullible. Are these the same people who think the TV dinner is actually going to LOOK LIKE THE PICTURE ON THE BOX? Yes. They are.
Hey kids. Oh shit, is that kid on the right thinking of wearing those floaty inflated wing-things on his upper arms as he wades into that waterpark? I think he is. Oh Lord.
anne
How does this help Michelle’s kids? :)
ElvenPhoenix
Wearyman:
The slip-n-slide went straight to the bottom of the hill – the little blue inflated “brake” at the end didn’t last long with every kid in the neighborhood seeing how fast they could go down the hill. Big mud puddle at the bottom. (And the creek just feet away.) My husband helped things along by bringing out the vegetable oil.
We parents just sat in our red-neck lawn chairs with our long-necks laughing like hyenas as the kids skidded off the flimsy plastic and across the black mud puddle. The only one that didn’t was daughter Cee, who was taking the Baby down. She managed to stay on the plastic. No mud for her!
The other kids, however, were COVERED. Great fun!
Mare
Click on the Consumerist site and read what purchasers said about this
“waterpark” it’s priceless. Almost wet my pants.
Great headline, Rachel. Welcome to our world, children!
nbc
14 k, your last de-motivator could be true on so many levels
14 Karat
Now in espanol!
felicity
Hmmmm. . . . I have failed as a parent: I’ve wasted so much breath teaching the kiddies about false advertising, when I could have just let them buy the darned sea monkeys!
Dana
Rachel….I haven’t been here in a while and I just noticed all the ads….you have become a capitalist pig haven’t you?
Keepin’ it fun: .
Good lord.
yeah, this is a lot like the thing
Seems kinda mean for the ad guys the physically go in and photoshop all the kids to make the thing look bigger. At that point it seems kinda, I don’t know, criminal I guess. Unless they just happened to have a bunch of freakishly small pygmy children show up for the photo session.
None of those type toys are as advertised. We got a slip-n-slide for the kids – the only way it’s actually fun is if you set it up on a hill so they can slide down – which is LOTS of fun for them but creates a bare mud patch at the bottom of the hill where they slide off of it.
Thank goodness we’re not a family of “yard perfection” freaks.
og,
I was bummed out when I was about 7 or 8 because I couldn’t afford X-ray Specs. A friend got a pair and I longed to wear them but he would never let me. I finally got my hands on them and couldn’t believe they didn’t work – why the advertisers said they did all these neat things! What a waste. That was nearly 50 years ago and I still laugh when I think of it.
(I’m not sure what I thought I’d see under some girls clothes, at that age it was really a mystery to me.)
You scrimp, you save, you wait with childish hopes in grand anticipation, and then …
Wow …so many childhood memories of crap I bought from the catalogs.
ElvenPhoenix,
Best use I ever saw for a Slip-N-Slide type setup (actually just a really long sheet of doubled-over 1mil plastic) was on a steep hill at my Parent’s Church. They just put a large plastic tarp at the end of the slide to catch all the runoff, and had a drainage ditch at the far corner of the tarp to take the extra water away.
Yes, you still got mud spots, but hitting the tarp with the big puddle of water that formed on it was hilarious. The first couple kids down always wiped out because the deeper water would slow them down so fast.
As far as false advertising goes, check out the box of any kid’s remote controlled toy, particularly flying ones. You’d never guess by the box that the damn thing weighs only a couple ounces and is smaller than a computer mouse.
I don’t know why either, but the title of this post just set me to laughing like a loon.
The poor kids look like they’ve just been told that Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, and the Easter Bunny aren’t real, all at the same time.
DearRachel,
For all your (male) readers who were ripped off by the “X-Ray Specs” deal, behold the power of modern technology
v/r
mike
I bought the “Scary Ghost” from the ad on the back of a comic book. It was a white ballon with a sheet of white plastic and a piece of black kite string. Lamest looking thing I ever saw. It was the best purchase I ever made. There I stood, in my room, 11 years old and swearing to myself that I would never believe an ad like that again.
I can’t even begin to imagine how much worthless crap I may have been tempted to buy through the years if it hadn’t been for that damned ghost.
Even today, 39 years later every time I see an ad for something that I want to impulse buy that stupid ghost pops into my head and reminds me to read the small print, look closely, and then walk away.
STOP TEARING MY CHILDHOOD DREAMS APART.
Oh crap. I think I peed myself laughing.
I remember getting my Sea Monkeys in the mail. I was awfully dissappointed. But only ’cause they were so small! Geeez!
I think it’s damned funny too, and the funny is definitely because of the bleakly-posed little urchins there in front of their splashless tiny waterpark for the gullible. Are these the same people who think the TV dinner is actually going to LOOK LIKE THE PICTURE ON THE BOX? Yes. They are.
Hey kids. Oh shit, is that kid on the right thinking of wearing those floaty inflated wing-things on his upper arms as he wades into that waterpark? I think he is. Oh Lord.
How does this help Michelle’s kids? :)
Wearyman:
The slip-n-slide went straight to the bottom of the hill – the little blue inflated “brake” at the end didn’t last long with every kid in the neighborhood seeing how fast they could go down the hill. Big mud puddle at the bottom. (And the creek just feet away.) My husband helped things along by bringing out the vegetable oil.
We parents just sat in our red-neck lawn chairs with our long-necks laughing like hyenas as the kids skidded off the flimsy plastic and across the black mud puddle. The only one that didn’t was daughter Cee, who was taking the Baby down. She managed to stay on the plastic. No mud for her!
The other kids, however, were COVERED. Great fun!
Click on the Consumerist site and read what purchasers said about this
“waterpark” it’s priceless. Almost wet my pants.
Great headline, Rachel. Welcome to our world, children!
14 k, your last de-motivator could be true on so many levels
Now in espanol!
Hmmmm. . . . I have failed as a parent: I’ve wasted so much breath teaching the kiddies about false advertising, when I could have just let them buy the darned sea monkeys!
Rachel….I haven’t been here in a while and I just noticed all the ads….you have become a capitalist pig haven’t you?
“So long, Wolf U-Boat.”
“So long, kid.”
Gahan Wilson, in National Lampoon
.