Ascendo tuum. (That means up yours.)

I continue to refuse to blog about the election until tomorrow, but meanwhile, Britain for immigrants and illiterates:

Classics scholars have accused councils of ‘ethnic cleansing’ after they banned staff from using Latin words.

The local authorities claim the terms are elitist and discriminatory, and have ordered employees to use often-wordier alternatives in documents or when speaking to the public.

Bournemouth Council, which has the Latin motto Pulchritudo et Salubritas - beauty and health - has listed 19 terms it no longer considers acceptable for use.

They include ad hoc, bona fide, status quo, vice versa and even via.

Its list of alternatives includes ‘for this special purpose’, in place of ad hoc and ‘existing condition’ or ’state of things’, instead of status quo.

However, the Plain English Campaign congratulated the councils for introducing the bans.

Marie Clair, its spokesman, said: ‘If you look at the diversity of all our communities you have got people for whom English is a second language.

‘They might mistake eg for egg and little things like that can confuse people.

‘At the same time it is important to remember that the national literacy level is about 12 years old and the vast majority of people hardly ever use these terms. It is far better to use words people understand.’

I disagree. I say it is far better for people to learn to understand words. Just a crazy idea I have.

Included in the list are the apparently-horribly confusing etc or et cetera, per as in “each”, and per se. Come on, seriously, people? Really?

Whatever. full of Latin phrases and it’s where I found “up yours.” I also like aut disce aut discede (either learn or leave) and Age. Fac ut gaudeam (Go ahead. Make my day).

Heh. Estne tibi forte magna feles fulva et planissima? (Do you by chance happen to own a large, yellowish, very flat cat?)

And apparently, audio, video, disco means “I hear, I see, I learn”. Can that possibly be true, because it’s way too awesome.

60 Comments


-Comments do not necessarily reflect the views of the blog owner.
  1. Haverwilde Says:

    Britania non audi, non vide, non disce!

    Or something like that, it has only been 50 years since my one year of Latin.

  2. RW Donn Says:

    So, I take it that these councils have lost any background they had in Chaucer and Beowulf and Shakespeare? I mean, plain English t’ain’t plain a’tall! It is a blend of Angle, Saxon and Jute. THAT is just for starters! Throw in Spanish (enciente, the fake Spanish word for “pregnant’ the Victorians used), Latin (how PUSillanimous the councils are!) or French (want another croissant?). We’ll lose probably half the English language if we start cutting out foreign words.
    But, if we ARE going to cut out foreign words, then we need to cut ALL of them out! Not just selective outbreeding like these dumbassed councils have done.

    You want a croissant? Effew! You get a ROLL!

    Taking the politcally correct and turning it into a phd program. That is what the councils have done. Time that the Muslims took over. The Muslims will instill discipline and courage back into the English. Something they lost in the 1990’s. And, didn’t get back after the London bombings. The Pusillanimous English. They can look it up to find out what I mean.

  3. Jon Says:

    Yep, “audio, video, disco” means that phrase precisely. Yet somehow the “Plain English Campaign” hasn’t banned “audio guides” or VCRs from regular speech. Videocassette combines a Latin AND a French word, oh my gracious!

    /end sarc

  4. Obloodyhell Says:

    .

    I’ve always found the Latin

    Vidi, Vici, Veni

    To be quite amusing.

    Yes, that’s exactly the Latin I meant.

    8^P

    .

  5. GeoPal Says:

    Aeternum vale Britannia! (Farewell forever Britain)

  6. Says:

    I actually don’t like linking to myself, but since you brought :

    Quo signo nata es?
    What’s your sign?

    Mihi ignosce. Cum homine de cane debeo congredi
    Excuse me. I’ve got to see a man about a dog

    Viri sunt Viri.
    Men are slime.

    Romani quidem artem amatoriam invenerunt.

    You know, the Romans invented the art of love.

    O! Plus! Perge! Aio! Hui! Hem!
    Oh! More! Go on! Yes! Ooh! Ummm!

    cogito ergo doleo
    I think, therefore I am depressed

    Senito aliquos togatos contra me conspirare
    I think some people in togas are plotting against me

    Nihili est - in vita priore ego imperator romanus fui
    That’s nothing; in a previous life I was a Roman Emperor

    Aio, quantitas magna frumentorum est
    Yes, that is a very large amount of corn

    Mortui grati
    The Grateful Dead

    Simitatores
    The Monkees

    Pueri litoris
    The Beach Boys

    Illi silices
    The Flintstones

    Insula gilliganis
    Gilligan’s Island

    If any of the above translations are incorrect, I will refund double the money that you paid for them.

  7. Berge Says:

    Thanks for the link to that site. I happen to think that those phrases make language colorful. But that’s just me being elitist and discriminatory.
    Cogito sumere potum alterum. (I think I’ll have another drink)

  8. Obloodyhell Says:

    Funny. The Japanese continue to use Kanji (pictograms) even though the phonetic alphabet (Hiragana/Katakana) is adequate for representing everything.

    You see, the number of Kanji you know is a sign of intellect. The average citizen knows at least a couple thousand Kanji, but the most intelligent know upwards to 10,000.

    In other words, they respect and admire intellect.

    America has always had a certain disdain for intellect, but it used to be balanced by a respect for wisdom. Now both are held in disrepute… and it appears The PC virus has infected the UK as well.

  9. Obloodyhell Says:

    Methinks that, sooner or later (more likely sooner), the English are going to learn, the hard way, of the meaning of the last two words of
    “Carthago Dilenda Est”

  10. Says:

    And here’s a message for those of us in the USA, when you go to vote tomorrow:

    “Libera te tutemet ex inferes”

    (”Save yourselves from hell”)

  11. PaleoMedic Says:

    If they ever try to tamper with Semper Fidelis they may find themselves in a world of hurt. Jus’ sayin’.

    Audio. Video. Disco.

    Democracy. Whiskey. Sexy.

  12. gd Says:

    Anyone read Theodore Dalrymple’s ? I just finished it. The essay entitled Multiculturalism Starts Losing Its Luster addresses the idea that the British government now believes it is elitist and discriminatory to expect immigrants to learn English.

    “Government pamphlets, including those concerning health and social security benefits, now routinely appear in myriad languages — at public expense. When I went to vote in the local elections not long ago, I saw notices in various Indian languages and in Vietnamese explaining how to cast a vote. And at my local airport, the sign directing travelers to the line for returning British passport holders is written not only in English, but in Bengali, Hindi, Punjabi, and Urdu (each with its own script): proof that the granting of citizenship requires no proficiency in the national language.”

    Why not just declare Latin no longer dead and add it to the plethora of alternate languages that the multiculturalists insist must be included in order to pretend that all cultures are equal?

    Aegrescit medendo.

  13. ReigningCats&Dogs Says:

    When I started smoking a pipe, I found a latin quote on the inside of one of the packages that I’ll never forget: “Verus amicus est tamquam alter idem” (hopefully I didn’t mangle the spelling too badly)

    “A true friend is like another me”

  14. No, not THAT Glenn Says:

    Is Citius, Altius, Fortius on that list? That ought to be sine qua non. They can’t hold Olympic Games with out it. “Quid, me veraxi?” as Alfred E. Neuman would say (e pluribus unum.)

    Crap. Damn fingers can’t spell in any language. You can take that a bouche ouverte. Go ahead and accuse me of schadenfreude.

  15. Charybdis E. Scylla Says:

    My family is fond of cogito ergo sum Batman! (It helps if you dramatize it with a few twirls of the imaginary cape)

    For reals, I like the toast dum vivimus vivamus which means “While we live, let us live.”

    Caveat lector would be a nice blog sub-title.

    Oooh. Almost forgot one of my faves. Carpe scrotum!

  16. Says:

    I’ve always liked Carpe Le Femme myself.

    And yes, I know I’m mixing my languages and metaphors both. :P

  17. hissyfit Says:

    Hell’s bells, those power-tripping British town councils are at it again! When we last looked in on the scene, some town council was pounding an old lady for defending her property against a bunch of teenaged yobbos, as I recall. Get out and vote for McCain/Palin, or we’ll probably be going this route ourselves.

  18. Says:

    ooo I like that site!

  19. Says:

    I had a “welcome mat” made for my front door that says “Arx Solitudinus.” Then my classics scholar friend, who told me but did not spell for me the translation I used, laughed at me because it should be “Arx Solitundinis.” Damn.

  20. Says:

    I lovez me that site!

    Machina improba! Vel mihi ede potum vel mihi redde nummos meos!

    (You infernal machine! Give me a beverage or give me my money back!)

    I always wanted to know how to say that in Latin.

  21. No, not THAT Glenn Says:

    ultrum per hebdomaden perveniam. (spelled?) It was an epitath. Now it’s a mantra.

    I never studied Latin, but exposure to Latin words in the northern flatlands where I was raised actually prepared me a little for southern CA; on principle I refuse to pursue Spanish, so I can’t fluently read the Spanish-language papers that litter the place, but I can get the gist of what they’re talking about.

  22. No, not THAT Glenn Says:

    BlogDog that’s like the doormat I got with angry Tazz and caption “GO AWAY,” right?

  23. Mandy Says:

    Ah, the dumbing down of everything. From now on, whenever we talk, let’s all clap in time to the syllables as we say them just in case someone feels lost!!

    Fookin’ Hell! Our language, as well as most of the languages on planet Earth, are based on Latin. Hello? It’s called school. Not this bullsh*t pansy school where people can’t mark papers in red pen, etcetera (ha!), I’m talking about School with a capital “S”. You know, back when there was actual punishment, challenges to be faced, character to build, pride to achieve, and merits to be won? Yeah, that’s my kind of school.

  24. herb Says:

    Ego non grantum anus rodentum. (I don’t give a rats ass). Thank God we escaped the British lunacy.

  25. Yu-Ain Gonnano Says:

    I’m pretty certain there’s some dog-latin thrown in as I doubt “Fabricati Diem” really means “Make my Day”.

    But it’d be cool if it did.

  26. RW Donn Says:

    Rachel–

    I know you’re not ready for political ‘blogging. But, I’ve got one for you. I was arguing, er DISCUSSING Sarah Palin with one of my relatives, who thinks she’s a ditz and isn’t voting for McCain because they think McCain is too old and Sarah is a, well as I told you AND she doesn’t have enough experience. Here’s what I told the relatives:

    OK, let’s look at past Vice Presidents. Dan Quayle. I don’t think Sarah would have a problem remembering NOT to put an E at the end of potato. With 5 kids, and 4 in school, I’m sure she has been through alot of studying for spelling tests, and testing the kids by having them spell the words. Spiro T. Agnew. Sarah didn’t take highway kickbacks and wouldn’t invent the term “pseudo-intellectual.” If she thinks you’re a tax stealing socialist, she’ll call you one.

    But, here’s the good one. There was a guy who was Vice President. He was a haberdasher. He became a judge and a senator through the influence of the Pendergast political machine (read that “Democratic Party of Kansas City, Mo.”). He was kept in the dark as to the high security issues by the president. When the president died, he had to be brought up to speed vary quickly. He went on to be president by his own election and is known for the famous phrase, “The Buck Stops Here.” Oh, and he made the “big decision” to end World War II.

    Harry Truman.

    So, from now on, I’m calling her Saray Truman Palin. THAT is who she reminds me of. If the Hindus are right, we’ve got a reincaration on our hands!

  27. Says:

    Harrumph. I’m no fan of Latin for Latin’s sake. When I was in graduate school, my boss kept trying to insert the phrases vide infra and vide supra into our papers. After editing them out 49 times, on the 50 occurrence I circled the offending words and wrote “you are a jackass” in the margin with a red Sharpie. And that was the end of that.

    You can do that kind of thing in academia because you work for peanuts.

    Anyway, the trouble with banning a phrase like “status quo” isn’t just aesthetic. These terms remain in our vocabularies because they really do precisely and compactly convey meaning that no easy “plain English” phrases can replicate. The anti-Latin brigade would appear to be the sort of people who think that all the entries in the thesaurus really do mean exactly the same thing.

  28. My Awesome Mix Tape #6 Says:

    Those doctors for whom I transcribe cling bitterly to their Latin phrases. No way Latin will ever completely disappear in medicine.

  29. 14 Karat Says:

    Lest we all forget …

    VERO POSSUMUS!

    ‘Twas the night before elections
    And all through the town,
    Tempers were flaring
    Emotions all up and down!

    And I, in my bathrobe
    With a cat on my lap,
    Had turned off the TV
    Tired of political crap.

    When all of a sudden
    There arose such a noise,
    I peered out my window
    Saw Obama and his boys.

    They had come for my wallet
    They wanted my pay,
    To give to the others
    Who had not worked a day!

    He snatched up my money
    And quick as a wink,
    Jumped back on his bandwagon
    And was gone in a blink.

    He then rallied his henchmen
    Who were pulling his cart,
    I could tell they were out
    To tear our country apart!

    “On Fannie… on Freddie,
    On Biden and Ayers!
    On Acorn… On Pelosi”,
    He screamed at the pairs!

    They took off for his cause
    And as he flew out of sight ,
    I heard him laugh at our nation
    Who wouldn’t stand up and fight!

    So I leave you to think
    On this one final note–
    IF YOU DONT WANT SOCIALISM,
    YOU’D BETTER GET OUT AND VOTE!!

  30. My Awesome Mix Tape #6 Says:

    Hey RW Donn,

    Good argument. I just had a similar discussion with a friend who I had to remind that Sarah Palin isn’t going to be PRESIDENT, only VICE president. I then reminded her that Jimmie Carter became PRESIDENT with very similar qualifications. But that argument kind of backfires on me because then I’m comparing the wonderful, amzing, lovely Sarah to the ASSHAT that was/is Jimmie Carter.

  31. No, not THAT Glenn Says:

    I recall a little vidclip on No Pasaran where very ladylike interpreter working in a business meeting got flustered seeking German for “blowjobs.”

  32. Says:

    Estne tibi forte magna DOGUS MAXIMUS fulva et planissima?

  33. Says:

    COMPLETELY O/T, BUT VERY, VERY IMPORTANT:

    It’s about Battlestar Galactica…

    I’m watching season 2, and I’m about to start 2.5. Question: when do we watch BSG Razor - the movie with Kendra Shaw? Between 2.0 and 2.5? Or after Season 3?

    Help us, y’all, and then get back to your latinus maximus.

  34. felicity Says:

    cogito ergo doleo
    I think, therefore I am depressed

    Yup.

    Oh, but:

    Mater tua criceta fuit, et pater tuo redoluit bacarum sambucus
    - Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries

    Take that, you silly English persons!

  35. para Says:

    I was going to like the quotes site into my homepage, but did a ’show source’ on the page

    they sure do seem to like tramadol. Might want to think twice on any linking that might cause click throughs to this stuff.

  36. Says:

    Exaudio, compario, colloquor

    I agree with uber-liberal Aaron Sorkin (American President, West Wing, Sports Night). We should expect people to be smarter.

  37. UncleSamWifey Says:

    Wow.Just wow.

    Add Latin to my list of bitter clinging…

    Christus

    We’re doomed.

    Hmmm…Im off to listen to Kyrie,Pie Jesu,Agnus Dei,and Panis Angelicus…being all discriminatory with my music tastes!

  38. felicity Says:

    Uh oh — I’ve just thought of something in their defense!
    Which is worse, using “Dick and Jane” English for official government documents, or

  39. Dos Mil Mascaras Says:

    Bloimy. It sames that peepoo in England ah getteen dummah boy the fookin’ minnih.

  40. RW Donn Says:

    My awesome mix etc.–

    THAT is why I graduated to Harry Truman! Palin is hardly a Dan Quayle (who I never liked, but I always thought the media gave him a very raw deal) or as slimey as Agnew (who I thought the media SHOULD have given him a raw deal!). So, I realized that Harry Truman, who didn’t exactly have a great background, went on to move from a Vice President to President and COULD handle the job.

    I just don’t see that Palin is at any more of a disadvantage than Obama is, other than Obama is running for the top spot and Palin isn’t. It really comes down to the advisors around the Presidents and Vice Presidents. And, Obama isn’t going to have the ones I’d favor. Bill Ayers. Jesse Jackson. Al Sharpton. And, you know all 3 of them will be advisors. I’m guessing even ol’ Rev. Wright will make a visit, now and again.

    Now, WHAT was that I should be so concerned about with Saray Truman Palin?

  41. RW Donn Says:

    WAIT! Isn’t it showing prejudice to get rid of the very base of romance language (French, Spanish, Italian, Portuguese) which is latin?

    I think the councils are showing their very, very prejudicial sides! Taking away latin words which are the very BASE of the romance languages, and among the main languages of continental Europe! Racist Councils!

  42. Peregrine John Says:

    As a bona-fide anglophile, I cannot express how sad this makes me.

    So far as I’m concerned, nanocephalics who pass craptacular legislation like that can vescere bracis meis.

  43. Says:

    It’s over. It’s all really over. It was a good run, that whole Western Civilization thing.

  44. Amelia in Tx Says:

    RI, my husband, who is an enormous BSG fan suggests you wait until after season 3.

    But he says there is much debate on the matter.

  45. Amelia in Tx Says:

    As far as Latin sayings go, I got a nice laugh out of this one:

    Antiquis temporibus, nati tibi similes in rupibus ventosissimis exponebantur ad necem.
    (In the good old days, children like you were left to perish on windswept crags.)

    I have days like that…
    Sometimes it doesn’t take all day. Sometimes an hour is enough.

  46. 14 Karat Says:

    Why yes, I do … thank you for asking!
    Sweet. Latin LOLZ.

  47. evvybuns Says:

    Does “bite me” translate into Latin?

  48. Says:

    Redheaded Infidel - the events of Razor take place between the episodes “The Captain’s Hand” and “Lay Down Your Burdens,” but I would recommend finishing out the second season at least before watching. I personally watched it after season three and I can’t say I was any worse for the waiting though, either - think of it more as a supplemental.

  49. Says:

    Thank you Dan and Amelia!

  50. Says:

    One of my professors who grew up in England in the early part of the 20th c. told me there was a school in London(?) with “Audio Video Disco” carved in stone above the entry. Beautiful. The only context in which disco should be mentioned, imo.

  51. Joe Doaks Says:

    for reading the polls -

    non illegitimi carborundum
    don’t let the bastards grind you down.

    Delenda est Obama
    We gotta beat this prick. (yeah, I know, but mine’s better).
    .

  52. Bill L. Says:

    This is a joke, right?

  53. RA Says:

    Well thats a quid pro quo no one with a decent high school education is going to like. LOL

  54. ShyAsrai Says:

    I named my son Christopher Michael. My mother-in-law was horrified, muttering for a year after how

    it was mean to give him such a complicated name, how horrible it would be for him to learn to spell it…. on and on.

    I. KID. YOU. NOT. This from the woman who named all her children nicknames.

    She grew more upset with each subsequent child-naming, all upon whom I bestowed a nice, strong, traditional name, complication ratio be damned.

    Needless to say, after the divorce she comforted my ex by telling him she always knew I expected too much.

    TEE HEE

  55. sarah Says:

    Estne volumen in toga an solum tibi libet me videre. Is that a scroll in your toga or are you just happy to see me?

    Quantum materiae materietur marmota monax si marmota monax materiam possit materiari? How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

    Just for fun!

  56. Mikel Stous Says:

    si hoc legere scis nimium eruditionis habes - If you can read this you are overeducated.

  57. Veeshir Says:

    My favorite Latin phrase is useful in so many ways;

    Carpe Scrotum.

  58. Says:

    When I first heard about this I thought it was a joke. Then when I found out it was true it thought it was sad. But now, after thinking about it for a while, I think its damn scary. People telling other people what words are acceptable to use!!? That’s raw oppression.

  59. Says:

    I feel like I learned something here today… maybe.

  60. marfaguy Says:

    And what will probably be very apropo for the next four years “Quis custodiet ipsos custodes”.