No salsa for you!
They make you hate them while you love them over here. Let’s talk about the grocery situation.
Tesco is the main grocery store in the UK, far as I know. It’s the only big one I’ve seen and there’s one in every town. The two I’ve been in were exactly like a Super Walmart or Super Target back home, in physical size and chaos and quantity of goods. The only difference is what they sell. Or more heartbreakingly, DO NOT sell.
I’ll start with the good news: not only do they have two huge entire aisles devoted to wine, ale, lager, and beer, guess what? They also sell whiskey, scotch, vodka, and any other manner of hard liquor.
At the grocery store.
So basically I have decided the English are geniuses or drunks; either way, I’m a fan and we’re going to get along fine, just fine.
That is, once I’ve gotten over my impotent rage which stems from the bad news: they have no liquid coffee creamer. Rupert and I scoured the entire refrigerated dairy section and in fact every section in the entire building, and no Coffeemate Hazelnut Creamer or any variation thereof. Making the situation even more frightening and confusing, do you know what else we couldn’t find in the entire gigantic grocery store? Half-n-half or anything remotely resembling it. We already knew that at restaurants, you get milk with your coffee and you LIKE IT OR TOUGH SHIT, but we’d been holding out hope that at least a huge grocery would have something for us besides that shitty powdered crap. Our hope was misplaced.
Other things we couldn’t find in Tesco in the hour we wandered around:
Paper plates or disposable cups
Any brand of tortilla chips
Queso cheese
Sliced hard cheese
Any sliced lunch meat besides ham
…and worst worst WORST of all: salsa.
I may have missed it and I’m hoping some UK-dweller will comment and tell me where the salsa is hidden in the Tesco, or where I can buy salsa, or how to live without salsa in general because right now I feel like crying. Although I’m not sure I want whatever salsa I might find. Last night at the hotel restaurant, I ordered the nachos, which featured a big pile of “zesty salsa.” HEH. That’s funny. Picture in your mind’s eye ketchup with a few tiny bits of diced onion and you have the “zesty salsa.”
But I am not complaining. Just grieving the loss of creamer and salsa. Thing is, I know for a fact there are a thousand delicious foodstuffs here that I just haven’t discovered yet, and if I have to live without real salsa or coffee creamer for a few years, I won’t die. It already feels balanced because have you ever tasted what they call “bacon” over here? Holy shit people. It makes our bacon in the States look like crispy dog turds and I’m not joking. It’s cut thick like ham, and is very juicy and fatty and downright nom-nom-nom.
I already raved about the fish-n-chips, and for those of you who asked, the peas served therewith were whole, not mashed. I think the difference from home is that we overcook them in the States. They were downright crunchy the way I had them, and thus delicious.
Ashamed to make this confession: we ate at Burger King for lunch yesterday. Shut up, we were in a hurry and it was RIGHT THERE. The Whoppers tasted just like home except actually better if you must know - the bread was hot and soft, and the meat actually tasted flame-broiled. Also, we were curious to see how they referred to fries there, since they call them “chips” at most restaurants. I was delighted to see the overhead menu said “fries.” Booyah.
I had a hard time actually eating my tasty FRIES though because we were sitting right next to the children’s playpen area and I’m sorry but few things crack me up more than hearing children screaming and yelling in British accents. “Mummy! Mummy! Harold is being horrid and unfayah! Mayke ‘eem shah hees toyeeees!”
Sorry, I need to figure out how to type with English accent. It’s not easy like, say, Hillbilly.
It’s 8 p.m. here and we’ve spent the last few hours unpackaging all the appliances we bought today such as microwave, hair dryer, shaver, TV, etc. For the last 45 minutes, I’ve been sitting on the kitchen floor reading manuals for the washer/dryer and the oven. The oven should be featured on the Sci-Fi channel and the washer/dryer “unit”? Oh there will be many rants about this thing. Many rants.
Oh, and our air shipment is in Paris. France. By “air shipment”, I mean all the shit we’ve been living without for over a MONTH already because SOMEONE told us it needed to ship out weeks ahead of time because SOMEONE is a LIAR. I’m talking about sheets, pillows, 99% of our clothes (I’ve been wearing the same three outfits for 4 weeks now - kill me), and all our dishes and, well, everything. We’ll be sleeping at the hotel for at least another week. Someone out there needs a roundhouse kick to the groin. The nuts is what I’m saying.
Rachel, a quick internet search reveals this store, , which purports to let you order American food products for delivery in England. I’m betting it’s pricey, but you may be able to get your creamer. In France, I know there was usually one or two “American” grocery stores, just like in big U.S. cities there are various ethnic groceries catering to a particular ex patriate community. You might find one somewhere near you.
Oh, and from another ex-pat looking for American foods over there. The consensus of that thread was that Whole Foods was your best bet for finding more American-style products.
Amazon.co.uk has paper plates. And, they offer what will probably be a very helpful book for you: !
And there’s more! Try the shop at eBay.co.uk. Get your favorite soft drinks, candies (and yes, )!
Updated again: Now HERE is some salsa that must have been made specially for Rachel Lucas:
! The tag line (below a picture of a kicking donkey): “Kick Yo Ass Hot!” Seriously, Rachel, you’ve got to order some of this stuff. In addition to the Hidden Gusset Award, you could have the Ass Kickin’ Salsa Comment Award for the hottest comment!
February 17th, 2009 at 2:36 pmESTNow imagine that control panel with fewer diagrams and more Chinese characters. To do laundry in China we didn’t need an instruction manual, we needed an instructor.
February 17th, 2009 at 2:43 pmESTRachel, you don’t seriously think you’re going to get disposable cups and plates in Merrie Olde Englande, home of “recycle or else!,” do you?
February 17th, 2009 at 2:46 pmESTDon’t throw anything at me Rachel, but you could always make your own salsa. I don’t care for most of the store bought brands, so I make my own. Be glad to send you a recipe. You need cilantro though. Probably no such thing in Britain.
Never mind.
February 17th, 2009 at 2:47 pmESTR,
February 17th, 2009 at 2:49 pmESTWe were in london and sounds like you are outside, so may not be the same, BUT…
We mostly used Sainsbury’s (another grocer) and I’m sure we bought salsa.
also, the full fat milk or whole milk there is closer to halfandhalf than US whole milk. I’m a total half and half in coffee or tea person and was fine with the full fat milk. try it anyway. can’t help on the creamers since i can’t stand that stuff myself. my wife alway said “when you’re in france you EXPECT everything to be different, the problem with England is you don’t expect it because they sort of speak the same language, but everything is still different”. i think you are doing a great job writing the english accent (at least one of the hundreds) and there is nothing funnier/cuter than a little brit kid talking the way they do.
How about making your own salsa from scratch?
Was googling you and found a site called Fish and Chips and Salsa - another American in London. Weird, Seems like you have something in common.
February 17th, 2009 at 2:50 pmESTSalsa Problem Solved:
Buy a blender; Google “salsa recipes”
February 17th, 2009 at 2:53 pmESTIf only all problems were this easy.
Coffeemate Creamer? Srsly? You should go buy a rat and squeeze rat piss into your coffee instead. Probably be better for your health too. Just man up and use real cream. Don’t be afraid, the ‘experts’ are all wrong. It won’t hurt you a bit.
February 17th, 2009 at 3:03 pmESTMaking your own salsa is probably the way to go, if you can find chili peppers. I imagine with all the Indian cuisine you should be able to get them, and cilantro - it may be known as coriander there.
February 17th, 2009 at 3:04 pmESTRachel, if they don’t have salsa over there, you can get your Mexican or New Mexican fix from Bueno Foods. They are out of my home town of Albuquerque and yes, they can ship overseas
February 17th, 2009 at 3:06 pmESTWine, beer, misc. booze in the grocery store?
February 17th, 2009 at 3:08 pmESTYou’ve never been to Nevada, have you.
Hah hah hah hah hah!
Two posts from England and I’m already thinking you should write a full-fledged, professionally published book. If Oprah’s friend can get literary awards for fiction masquerading as “memoir”, you will clean up! (Re Nobel Prize: accept the money, can the “prize”).
February 17th, 2009 at 3:09 pmESTRachel,
February 17th, 2009 at 3:17 pmESTIt looks like a 50 % mix of whole milk and “single” cream will give you your Half-n-half. It sounds like the “double” cream may kill you! [url=http://www.gumbopages.com/food/half.html]Found here.[/url] If you can find Hazel nuts over there, some nut dust may make a reasonable facsimile.
Rick Lucas… you almost made me puke man!
Cut it out!
February 17th, 2009 at 3:18 pmESTErm. I get all my Harrd Likker at the grocery stores, actually. The Vons a block from my house has a massive sale on just now. Further reasons for me not to leave the Wild, Wild West…
Definitely make your own salsa. Easy, cheap, way freaking tasty.
February 17th, 2009 at 3:20 pmESTHi and welcome to the UK…
I doubt you’ll find liquid creamers in UK supermarkets, but you might find them on the internet or in more ’boutiquey’ food shops, but as others have said there are other options. In Tescos, milk with a blue label is full fat as the cow intended, red label is fat free coloured water and green label in somewhere in between.
>Other things we couldn’t find in Tesco in the hour we >wandered around:
>
>Paper plates or disposable cups
I’m sure they will be there, probably hidden away on a spare bit of shelf. Try somewhere near the aluminium foil / cling film or ask someone on the shop floor.
>Any brand of tortilla chips
Probably in the upmarket nibbles aisles. Find the crisps (US = chips?) aisles and widen your search from there. You might find what passes for salsa nearby. I suspect that you will be better off making your own though.
>Queso cheese
Whatever this is, I doubt you’ll find it in any supermarket here. Mind you there will be a reasonable selection of cheeses from all over Europe plus the various UK cheeses on offer so there must be something to tickle your tastebuds on offer..?
>Sliced hard cheese
Unlikely. Hard cheeses are bought in block form either from the cheese counter or in pre-pack blocks from one of the chilled aisles. Pre pack cheese comes in semi-permeable packaging here so it should not be too oily or slimy when you open it.
>Any sliced lunch meat besides ham
You should be able to find chicken, turkey, roast beef & pastrami fairly easily as well as the different hams, both in chilled pre-pack and again from the deli counter (usually towards the back of the shop). Incidentally, if budget allows it is usually better to go for the premium brands of pre-pack meats (Tesco = ‘Finest’, Sainsbury’s = ‘Taste the Difference’) as some of the cheaper stuff barely qualifies as food.
>…and worst worst WORST of all: salsa
As for tortillas above. You could also have a look in the aisles selling cooking sauces as there is sometimes a very small section of (probably very bad to an American) nacho / tex-mex kits available.
And IKEA is indeed hell on earth. Best to go when every one else is at work and take transport large enough to carry whatever you buy home with you. Rent a van if you have to.
February 17th, 2009 at 3:26 pmESTIt is important to note that in Wisconsin, we sell hard liquor in our grocery stores as well. We also sell beer in gas stations if that would seem weird to you.
And we have drive through liquor stores. But yeah, I moved to a “dry” county in Wisconsin (they don’t sell beer in Gas Stations) and nearly passed out from the terror. You mean I have to go to a liquor store? THE TERROR!
February 17th, 2009 at 3:36 pmESTIs it possible to ship you the coffeemate stuff? I know that I have a hard time with my coffee now that I have spoiled myself with the creme brulee flavor. I so feel your pain. It isn’t right!!! It isn’t human!!!!
damn limeys…
And let me know what clotted creme taste like…
February 17th, 2009 at 3:39 pmESTI’d suggest a trek into Harrods Food Hall, you will probably find salsa in the American product aisle, Harrods is must for specialty items you can’t find locally.
Look for a deli counter in supermarkets, or a full service deli, they will slice silky baked ham off the bone for you, it’s sinfully good and roast beef too. The deli counter should have Hungarian salami too, it’s delicious, a little spicy-tangy like a good American-Italian salami.
The pre-packaged lunch meat and bangers are deadly. Ick.
A butcher shop will have coarsely ground pork sausage meat, add some ground sage, cayenne pepper and a little fennel seed and you’ve got passable brekkie sausage patties.
Ground lamb is easy to get and really tasty too, add garlic, rosemary, a splash of red wine and roll into sausage shape, stick a kabob skewer lengthwise through the “sausage”, brush with olive oil and a squeeze of lemon and broil or grill. Yummy.
You will not find half & half, you will be looked at in askance when inquiring after it. Whole milk with a dollop of top cream worked for the morning cuppa when I need coffee rich and creamy. Clotted cream can be a little greasy in coffee but I’m pretty sure it’s required by law for scones.
I use the Hazelnut Coffeemate too and am thoroughly hooked on it. You should be able to find hazelnut flavored coffee, buy a half pound and add a tablespoon or two to your usual blend in the coffeemaker, the flavor will be subtle not overpowering, or 2-3 drops of hazelnut food flavoring in the pot, the sort you use in baking or in the evening a splash of Frangelico (hazelnut liqueur).
Oh, beware of the clotted cream as you will find yourself shamelessly eating it with a spoon right out the the fridge in the dark of night and soon you’ll be looking for new jeans. Which is a whole ‘nother level of frustration, cuz of course, clothing sizes are different than ours.
February 17th, 2009 at 3:42 pmESTRachel first off Welcome to the UK,try semi skimmed milk,also i used to work a long time ago for Tescos they do sell things like paper plates if you cant find things do ask they sell Doritos and all the salsa dips again just ask most full time staff know were stuff is,also have a look round Waitrose food stores & Sainsburys again ask also Tesco’s and a lot of them do a shopping service on line and Deliver also Asda is owned by Walmart hope this has been of use, again welcome to you both. AJD
February 17th, 2009 at 3:53 pmESTAre you near the US Military base? If so, make friends with a military person and see if they have your staples in their base store they can get for you.
If needed, we will mail care packages. I had to send some Texas Salsa, BBQ meat, jerky, Velveeta cheese and Rotel to a friend when she was studying in London one year. She was the hit of the dorm floor that week (or whatever they call Dorms in London)
February 17th, 2009 at 3:55 pmESTCool, your stuff took the scenic route. Will you be receiving postcards from your furniture from Gay Paree, I wonder?
“Dear Wachel,
Having a lovely time, Paris is beautiful, wish you were here.
Love,
Teapot”
Hee!
February 17th, 2009 at 3:56 pmESTAs for all of the bellow, I shop at Sainsburys, and can get all of those things from one of the small high street shops they have. So I’m sure you will find all of it at a big edge of town Tesco.
Also for the more apparently obscure stuff (like coffee creamer) you could always try buying online, or searching online, Tesco do home deliveries, kind of like amazon but for food. I even hear amazon might be doing a food service over here. (save’s you walking round the huge shops and being overwhelmed as I do! and there’s a wide selection of online food shops here.
Good luck!
February 17th, 2009 at 4:09 pmESTHard liquor has been sold in Ca. at grocery stores, like Alpha Beta, at least since the 60s and actual liquor stores open at 6am. I worked at one when I was 18.
Tom
February 17th, 2009 at 4:10 pmESTHey, some states in the US are more enlightened on what can be sold in the grocery store - Maine for instance, although it has two of the RINO-est RINO senators, allows you to buy anything from light beer to hard liquor at any supermarket.
February 17th, 2009 at 4:10 pmESTHere in Illinois, you can buy hard liquor at the grocery store. But, I lived in Indianapolis for a year, and in that awesome city, you can buy Jack Daniels (and other assorted beverages) at the Walgreen’s. At 2:00 am. Ask me how I know….
February 17th, 2009 at 4:20 pmESTSomeone beat me to it, Harrods. You’re in London?
February 17th, 2009 at 4:25 pmESTMake a trip, you’ll be delighted.
As to the creamer, that stuff you’re used to,
yikes! Change to some good old fashioned fresh milk.
Dear Jen has exactly the right answer. When I met my (American) wife while living in the UK, her expat parents were thrilled to learn that I had Commissary privileges. After 20 years of living in London they couldn’t believe their good luck in finding a connection for Bisquick, Cheerios and real Florida orange juice.
Barring that, you could bleg for salsa-centric care packages from your readers.
February 17th, 2009 at 4:27 pmESTIf you do go to Harrods, they have awesome ginger cookies.
February 17th, 2009 at 4:36 pmESTI LOVE Frowny Face in your diagram, Rachel.
February 17th, 2009 at 4:41 pmESTRachel, look for Jaffa cakes.
Chocolate (real chocolate) and orange together in one orgasmic package.
nom nom nom slobber
February 17th, 2009 at 4:42 pmESTGermany was similar. My daughter was living in a small town outside Ray Barracks with a small sized grocery store - I forget the name of the store and I don’t know how to enter text with umlauts anyway, so I won’t misspell the name of the town either.
Half the store was devoted to beer, liquor and chocolate. I am not exaggerating. They did sell some meat products and baked goods, but the butcher and baker up the street were better. Since she could drive to Hanau to stock up at the commissary, it was the best of both worlds.
Can you believe they actually had American beer at the commissary? Why? I tried to sample all the local beers during my two week visit, but failed miserably.
February 17th, 2009 at 4:46 pmESTJen and Scott have the right idea. Military bases have great selections. I’d also ask Rupert’s co-workers and or call the embassy, they may know of American specialty shops for things like salsa etc. Good luck and try the Yorkie chunks!
February 17th, 2009 at 5:02 pmESTHell Rachel,
February 17th, 2009 at 5:06 pmESTTell me what you need and I’ll get it and send it. Hell I send it to my boy ( er, son, hardly a “boy”)in Afghanistan I can sure as hell sent something to GB.
Give me an anonymous postal address and a shopping list and I’ll send you to heaven…(no offense Rupert)
Oh, so much funny! Rat piss in the coffee! *guffaw* I’m so glad I never cultivated a taste for coffee, even if it does make me the oddball at coffee shops. But I can sympathize. It’s dreadful to not be able to get your NECESSARY-for-existence food/drink items the way they should be because the people around you don’t have the sense to prefer it the right way (i.e. the way you do).
The washer/dryer thing… are those supposed to be helpful icons? The thing at ~2 o’clock looks like a swimsuit, but since having that many settings for swimsuits makes no sense, I’m going to guess it’s actually supposed to represent under garments.
The icon at ~5 o’clock looks like a hoodie. The one ~7 o’clock looks like a slip or a dress. But the one I really want to know about is the icon at ~8 o’clock. Is it a hat? After much squinting, I suppose it could resemble a purse, but that doesn’t make any sense at all. It’s bugging me. What is that little hat-ish thing???
Otherwise, I could guess that the sun symbol indicates heat, but the only thing I unambiguously understand is the STOP.
Next time I walk by my own washer and dryer I will give them a loving pat in gratitude for their size and simplicity of use.
February 17th, 2009 at 5:11 pmESTI’ll add my recommendation for Sainsbury’s, I rather liked them on my trips over there. They have Safeway stores over there. And there’s also the Co-Op and Iceland.
February 17th, 2009 at 5:11 pmESTOh and here in backwards Colorado, home of the Stimulus Bill, we can’t get likker in grocery stores. The most they can sell is 3.2% beer.
February 17th, 2009 at 5:13 pmESTI feel your salsa pain momma! All I can say is to save your sanity and make it yourself. This recipe should give you a starting point….http://www.bigoven.com/142104-Fresh-Texas-Salsa-recipe.html
When I am outside of the Republic of Tejas, like the year I spent in New F’n Jersey, I have often just said the hell with it and made my own.
February 17th, 2009 at 5:22 pmESTRick Lucas is a genius. He is exactly what brothers are for– to tell you the truth that we are too good-hearted to tell you. Still, since he mentioned it …
ARRGHHH!! Coffee creamer??? It is a bitter chemical brew that you could have whipped up in your lab last semester. It is utterly without flavor or any other redeeming quality. You cannot possibly expect us to believe anything you say about food and its deliciousness (or lack thereof), if you like liquid herbicides in your coffee.
Sheesh.
February 17th, 2009 at 5:37 pmESTIn my three years in Texas, I always thought it was nuts that they didn’t have booze in the grocery store. Hell, it practically runs through our veins in Wisconsin. My uncle has his refrigerator water dispenser hooked up to a beer keg.
One of the few things Texas sucks at: liquor retailing.
February 17th, 2009 at 5:59 pmESTWelcome to England Rachel.
February 17th, 2009 at 6:03 pmESTYour first impressions are really fascinating - just love it.
I really need to get some sleep, so just a few quick tips and comments.
First, sorry about the washing machine. We sort of know they are crap but just try and pretend otherwise because they won’t let us have the good ones.
OK, shopping. Wife’s department really, but here goes.
Look for Waitrose - probably a bit more upmarket and might be better for more specialist requirements.
Look for ASDA - Owned by Wall Mart and might make you feel more at home.
Back in Tesco’s, I’m sure they have half the things listed - paper plates and salsa at least. Do ask - I know we don’t really do customer service like the US, but they are quite helpful.
Cheese. Of all the world’s cheeses, my favourite remains a good Cheddar. It comes as mild, medium, mature, but the one to look for is extra mature English Cheddar. You can get it sliced if you want - just don’t get the vacuum wrapped ones. Treat yourself and get it cut at the cheese counter. Eat it on its own (with a bottle of red of course), or grill it on top of… well anything really.
Sorry, don’t understand half-n-half. Not too sure about coffee creamers - I need my caffeine without additives, but milk comes fresh as skimmed (very low fat) red cap, semmi-skimmed (low fat) green top, full fat (blue top). Then cream comes as single, double, whipping and extra thick. I’m sure I’ve seen some liquids intended for adding to coffee.
Back to Cheddar. If you like the cheese, visit the gorge - Cheddar Gorge in the West country. OK, its not the Grand Canyon, but still worth a look.
My wife has made shopping her life’s work, so please pass on all and any purchasing based enquiries.
Regards
Jim
Rachl has a brother who tells her to man up and suggests that she squeeze rat piss into her coffee. No wonder she’s so piquant. Srsly!
February 17th, 2009 at 6:16 pmESTReading these last couple of posts kinda reminds me of seeing Crocodile Dundee make it to New York City the first time. A stranger in a strange land, indeed. But it’s great fun to read, Rachel, keep it up.
Also, all you coffee creamer snobs need to get over yourselves. Ain’t nothing at all wrong with a little liquid Coffeemate. Personally, I love the hazelnut and the coconut versions…
February 17th, 2009 at 6:17 pmESTA mere 1500 miles WEST of Texas would prove to you, dear Rachel, that there are supermarkets in America (specifically California) that are NOT Kmart/Walmart/Target AND have all the booze, wine, beer and other products you could want. Even Lotto and MegaMillion machines to buy your lottery ticks. AND, you can STILL have your guns! Well, so far. After March, we may find that the Calif. Supreme Court has given us gay marriage (and whatever OTHER kind of marriage form that qualifies as “equalitarian”)and taken away the residents’ guns. But, you can buy booze at a supermarket! Hmmm. And “medical” marijuana is legal. Booze and dope and gay marriage for residents. No guns. I think there’s a message, here. How far to Texas? A mere 1500 miles?
February 17th, 2009 at 6:20 pmESTListen to your brother, then see if you can find hazelnut flavored syrup for your coffee :).
Looks kinda like the wool symbol, and it’s on the short end of that cycle with what looks like a slip — polyester? And I do think you must be right about the underthings — heavy cottons? — especially since that symbol appears to accompany the longest drying cycle, which makes laundry sense (Ooh! I haven’t felt so Heloise in ages!). But you beat me to it, Amelia — “Stop” is the only thing on there I would be sure of without the manual (which had better be in English, not pictographs like IKEA instructions! :P).
February 17th, 2009 at 6:30 pmESTRachel-
If you’re in London, check out . There are two of them, the larger one is near Sloane Square. They have a little section of hideously expensive but otherwise impossible to find American foods. When I was there I would occasionally indulge in a $10 box of Froot Loops but they might have the things you’re missing.
February 17th, 2009 at 6:30 pmEST“So basically I have decided the English are geniuses or drunks”.
We’re actually both - I did a part-time degree in Astrophysics, and I don’t think I sobered up once during the entire six years.
As long as I remembered to halve the number of stars I could see whenever I looked at a picture of a binary star system, I was fine.
But Tesco actually sell other things than alcohol?!? Thanks for that Rachel, it might come in useful if I ever run out of household bleach or Mr Muscle kitchen cleaner!
P.S. You’re obviously not in chav country, otherwise the kids would be yelling “Oi, mum! Chantelle won’t share her weed with me even after I gave her that bottle of White Lightning, the fookin’ bitch, and if she says that I’m lyin’ then she’s the one who’s chattin’ shit. Innit.”.
As far as I can tell, that means you’re in one of only six or seven geographical locations. Don’t worry, I won’t reveal them!
February 17th, 2009 at 6:33 pmEST?
February 17th, 2009 at 6:35 pmESTModereated on a comment about dryer settings — oh, the mundanity!
Commissaries are the greatest things ever. EVER. We used to go about once a month and fill two cars with groceries.
As for dairy products, we had a milkman. I used to get “gold top” bottles, which were (are?) non-homogenized whole milk. As in, pour pure cream off the top.
MMMMmmmmmmm =C8^U”’
As for laundy,
DO NOT USE “BOIL” SETTING UNLESS YOU WANT TO MAKE DOLL CLOTHES!!!
When they say “boil wash” they mean it. Be careful with “hot” also. Start off using “warm” for hot and “cold” for everything else, at least until you are used to your machine.
THIS IS VITALLY IMPORTANT!!!!
February 17th, 2009 at 6:38 pmESTIf you can’t find suitable goods in the stores there, mail, uh er post is your friend. It worked for my mom in 1971 when she was able to keep my dad and his air force buddies fed (in Germany) with good ol’ Tex-Mex.
I was only five, but I still remember the parties.
February 17th, 2009 at 6:40 pmEST… still waiting to hear about the First Class trip over the Atlantic …
February 17th, 2009 at 6:42 pmESTI’m a SoCal girl who may have to move to Texas soon. Where exactly do you buy liquor there, if not at the grocery store? Seriously. I wouldn’t walk into any establishment around here called a liquor store. Is that what you have to do in Texas? Are they as scary there as they are here? This is important pre-relocation information to have.
February 17th, 2009 at 6:58 pmESTMr. Farrington, I have a question for you. How does one pronounce the word “chav”? I’ve seen it written all over the place but can’t say I’ve ever heard anyone use the word out loud.
February 17th, 2009 at 7:01 pmESTI once rented an apartment with a washer which came without an instruction manual and whose pictographs were even more mystifying. Fortunately, there were also some labels. Unfortunately, they were in German. (”So use a dictionary,” you say, “that should clear things up.” So you would think.)
“Someone out there needs a roundhouse kick to the groin.” I am embarrassed for your audience that I am the first to point out this crucial detail, but a roundhouse kick to the groin (as opposed to the head) is self-evidently silly. But since I am such a kind soul, I offer you this re-write: “Someone out there needs their nuts air-shipped to Paris.”
You’re welcome.
February 17th, 2009 at 7:01 pmESTI’m concerned that I fail to see the area of concern in your diagram.
February 17th, 2009 at 7:05 pmESTEven in Michigan we can buy liquor at the grocery store. They aren’t allowed to sell it between 2 and 6 am or before noon on Sunday, but we don’t have to make an extra stop for it. That link to the ‘Ass Kicking’ salsa looked interesting. If you do decide to try it, be sure to let us know it it’s any good!
February 17th, 2009 at 7:14 pmESTOh, oh, oh! And if it’s queso fresco (the non-melting stuff) you’re after, look for an Indian grocery and try paneer (fresh milk cheese) — close enough!
February 17th, 2009 at 7:16 pmESTI am soooo jealous of you right now. Next time you’re at Tesco, pick up some McVities digestives with dark chocolate on one side. Yummy. I’m also a fan of the Double-Decker candybars. Ooo! And you have to eat at Nando’s chickenland! So delicious.
February 17th, 2009 at 7:24 pmESTSteph, it really depends on where you live in Texas. In West Texas, you have to drive to a wet county. In Lubbock, Tx, you have to drive to the next county and go to the “Strip”. In some areas of Dallas, you can buy beer and wine in the grocery store, hard liquor in stores. Other areas of Dallas, nothing in the stores at all. Houston, similar to Dallas. I have only visited Austin, so someone else has to speak up.
February 17th, 2009 at 7:33 pmESTBut there are liquor stores almost everywhere. You get used to it.
About the salsa. Just get the ingredients and make your own, it’s not as hard as you might think, and you can perfect it to your own taste.
God help you if they don’t have chilies or cilantro.
Here’s a . Good luck!
February 17th, 2009 at 7:46 pmESTcream tea, luv. scones, clotted cream, strawberry, earl grey.
February 17th, 2009 at 7:51 pmESTTrue ‘dat!
Yes, you will soon come to LURVE the yummies in jolly ol’ England. You just need to learn what it is you want to buy. That’s the hard part. Lots of great things that have odd names. See “clotted cream” above. Try it on scones and fresh fruit. Oh yeah.
You will learn the true meaning of the word “cheddar.” It isn’t just a cheese - it’s a process!
Look for Jewish delis to buy your lunch meats.
Learn to love roast beef with Yorkshire pudding. Hint: pudding, in this case, is a popover biscuit drowned in beef drippings.
YUMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
“Pudding” generally will be a difficult concept to grasp. It often is a generic word for “desert.” As in, “if you don’t eat your meat, you can’t have any pudding.” The pudding might be pie. Or, pudding might be something savory made from innards and drippings. It’s hard to predict what the pudding might be.
Just be daring, try everything, ask questions, and write down what you like. If you can’t find what you are used to, try describing it to the grocer or waiter.
Also, buy every book written by Nigella Lawson.
February 17th, 2009 at 8:14 pmESTOMG, is one of those a snowflake symbol on the washer dryer???
OK, i’m a moron, but isn’t milk just diluted creamer?
February 17th, 2009 at 8:39 pmESTYou might want to have a butcher’s (=take a look) over at ASDA (a Walmart) store, and see if you can’t find what you are looking for there.
February 17th, 2009 at 8:46 pmESTThat look like my mothers oven almost exactly.
Maybe I can translate? lol
February 17th, 2009 at 8:46 pmESTMr. Farrington, I have a question for you. How does one pronounce the word “chav”? I’ve seen it written all over the place but can’t say I’ve ever heard anyone use the word out loud.
Exactly as spelt.
February 17th, 2009 at 8:53 pmESTtry these:
I don’t see any brick and mortar places but I also didn’t try very hard. This can at least give you a place to start on the hunt for all your mexican food needs…
February 17th, 2009 at 8:56 pmESTTastefully Simple sells an awesome dry mix that you toss in with diced tomatoes. I think it’s called “Simply Salsa” and it is awesome! Even if you use canned tomatoes it takes soooo fresh!
February 17th, 2009 at 8:56 pmESTCostco, Rachel. Have someone who loves you and who is willing to send you a care package go to Costco and buy a box of the little single shots of International Delights liquid vanilla creamer. Those things travel pretty well internationally - we used to send them in my brother’s care packages when he was in Iraq. Just double-bag the box in case one of the shots explodes in transit, so it doesn’t get all over everything. It’s not hazelnut, but it doesn’t need to be refrigerated, either, so if you are desperate for a liquid creamer, this might be the way to go.
February 17th, 2009 at 9:10 pmESTc’mon rachel, making your own salsa is cake! cilantro is aka italian parsley. At least it is here. Stoopid CA. get some diced tomatoes, chop some onions, chop some garlic, betcha you can find a mini cuisinart type thingee. Piece of cake you’ll probably end up never buying that canned/glass crap again. glad to hear/read from you so soon after arriving in jolly old england. BTW, we use skype and it is decent enough, especially since it is free in the USA. I wanna hear all about the Laundy situation.
February 17th, 2009 at 9:11 pmESTFurther investigation indicates that Tesco considers salsa to be a sauce, and should thus be found in the sauce section. Look for ‘Discovery’ brand.
February 17th, 2009 at 9:13 pmESTafter living there for a few years, a quick word on the washer/dryers…. they don’t dry, see the radiators around your flat? those are your new dryers, welcome to stiff towels for the next couple of years.
Also search around for an ASDA thats Walmart’s UK store, mostly groceries but some other stuff.
I substitued Indian for Mexican while I was there… no regrets, papadams with lime pickle over salsa anytime! Followed by some peshwari nans and a Vindaloo any day, find a good one! Also Chinese in England is a whole different thing too. Have fun.
February 17th, 2009 at 9:16 pmESTAll the previous commenters have got you covered, easy, so I won’t guild the lilly, just want to second the suggestion about the base commissary.
Making your own salsa is actually a pretty good way to go. Roasted chile salsas are scrumptious from the aroma during roasting to the shoveling on to whatever.
Powder creamers are made with tropical oils which are more saturated than axle grease. Have you considered Borden’s or Carnation’s evaporated milk? For coffee, they are pretty good. They are essential for recreating mom’s comfort foods. I don’t like drinking it out of glass, though.
I’m assuming you already are a fan of Nutella? If not, try to find some, it will help take the edge off of not having hazelnut creamer. Spread on bread or directly on tongue.
Chin up and cheerio!
February 17th, 2009 at 9:19 pmESTSorry, I will second Deanna on the creamer singles, I have seen them in hazelnut flavor at Wally’s.
Also, I’m a traditionalist concerning my salsa: no cilantro. I have no idea who came up with adding that to everything Mexican but it leaves this reviewer cold. Kinda’ reminds me of when I heard someone say “Now, add a cup of mayo to the mashed avocado pulp, then add diced onions, chopped and seeded jalapeno….”
Yeah, no.
February 17th, 2009 at 9:26 pmESTNeed hazelnut creamer?
Screw dat. Use fresh double cream mixed 50-50 with Frangelico.
Duh.
(more)
Holy cow!
I just went to Amazon looking for options for creamer. Amazon is your friend. I quickly found a variety of gourmet items. But, then I thought overseas shipping may be an issue, so I went to Amazon UK. That’s when it got weird. I didn’t see “gourmet food” like I do on the Yank site. So I went looking… first under home and kitchen, then under health and beauty. Under health and beauty, right there for the whole world to see with nary a warning… SEX TOYS. On Amazon.
Now, I know that US Amazon also has sex toys… but you have to search for them or use a back door like an item number. But Amazon UK has sex toys right out in the open. Not that there is anything wrong with that… it was just a surprise.
See… this is the sort of thing that will take getting used to about the UK. Sex? It’s EVERYWHERE. Guns? Not so much. Quite different from across the pond.
Anyway… US Amazon has 180 packs of Land of Lakes individual half and halfs available for $30. I have no idea about shipping. But it gives you an idea.
February 17th, 2009 at 9:28 pmESTCreamer, ugh — you’re in England, the dairy capitol of the universe. Once you’ve had English cream in your coffee you’ll never want anything so insipid as half-and-half (or nasty chemical substances like creamer) in your coffee again. As for cheese — it will probably be difficult and expensive to get Mexican cheese over there, but why would you want to when you are in England, Land of a Thousand Cheeses. They probably have something just like the cheeses you’re used to, only better.
And to the person who said cilantro was Italian parsley… no no no no no no. You can’t be more wrong. Cilantro may resemble parsley but they are two very different herbs. I’ll bet you can find cilantro, as well as all sorts of chiles, in Indian food markets, as those items are a staple of Indian cuisines. (Which is the cuisine in England to go to for your spicy food cravings, or it was when I was there.)
February 17th, 2009 at 10:06 pmESTRachel:
Are you sure you didn’t buy one of those Toto japanese toilets instead of a washer? I sweer one of those buttons calls for air to be blown up your arse!
February 17th, 2009 at 10:13 pmESTCilantro is often called Coriander in other countries.
It is not Italian parsley. However, it is sometimes called Chinese parsley or Asian parsley.
February 17th, 2009 at 10:25 pmESTMy first trip to the UK was for the funeral of a good friend. We stayed at a B&B near the town of Poulton-le-Fylde, and the area was the perfect British picture-postcard. The first breakfast was Full English, with baked beans (it’s for dinner, people) and something the waitress called “Black Pudding”. When I asked what it was, I was told that I had to try some before I would get an answer. Never a promising reply. I did try it–all salty and chewy. When I did learn what it was, let’s just say that it was the last time I tasted it.
February 17th, 2009 at 10:25 pmESTNot if you’re lactose intolerant or have high LDL, to make it worse black coffee is too acid without creamer now, a classic catch-22, aging is a bitch.
Jaffa cakes.
*big sigh* Food of the gods.
February 17th, 2009 at 10:27 pmESTSo then…..how’s the soy situation over there?
My doctor told me to change to Silk creamer and my cholesterol dropped like a lead zeppelin.
Ha, its great to hear your stories, as always!
February 17th, 2009 at 10:33 pmESTLike the others said - chin up. Make all of us Uhmericans proud!
February 17th, 2009 at 10:36 pmESTI’ve been reading your blog for about a year now, and since you’ve recently started writing about your experience with moving across the ocean to a different country, it has been incredibly entertaining, mostly because I can relate to just about everything you write. I moved from Michigan to Japan about a year and a half ago, and yeah, about the worst thing was going without Taco Bell. The “Mexican” restaurants they have in Tokyo just aren’t the same.
I know some people mentioned it farther up, but you should be able to find an import grocery store to get some stuff you normally would only find at Walmart back home. In Japan there’s Kaldi Coffee and Seishin something-something (can’t remember, too lazy to check). I doubt they’re in England, but at least English is still English and you should be able to do an internet search with more ease than my own situation.
So far as the washer/dryer goes, at least you have a dryer. In Japan, we have a (pint-sized) washer, but no dryer. That means hanging all your shit out to dry. Even in the winter. Even in the humid-as-hell rainy season where it rains every day and you have to wear damp clothes because there just isn’t any choice.
Anyways, you continue to be very entertaining, and have a great time in the UK!
February 17th, 2009 at 11:19 pmESTHabanero peppers
Sweet onions
Red bell peppers
Almost ripe tomatos
garlic
cliantro
salt
Use a knife, not a blender.
February 17th, 2009 at 11:20 pmESTMmmmm…..Yorkshire pudding….
My mother makes it occasionally. My great grandparents were both Welsh immigrants, and I’m pretty sure she got the recipe from them.
It’s a tad bland, but a dash of Tabasco sauce livens it up pretty quick.
February 17th, 2009 at 11:40 pmESTHrumph — seems to me, any shop that ought to have salsa. I mean, these are basic, staple items!
*I’ve never tried that in coffee. . . hmmmmmm.
February 17th, 2009 at 11:50 pmESTRick Lucas’s comment reminded me of the time he said something along the lines of ‘I didn’t make you go work for the twat doctor.’
Still chuckling at that one, too.
February 18th, 2009 at 12:24 amESTDrive-by commenter here…
The bad: Been stationed in Germany since 2003 (more time outside the EU than in though), I have yet to find decent Mexican in Europe. Hate to say give up on the idea, but give it up. A commenter already mentioned Indian, it’s a great substitute. Substitutes suck, but so does everything refered to as ‘Mexican’ in Europe.
And second the idea of finding military bases. If close to London you’re probably 2-3 hours tops from RAF Lakenheath and RAF Mildenhall. Despite the names they’re both USAF bases, at least one has a commissary. The commissaries I have used here in GE have typically carried a semi-decent variety of salsas plus your creamers and such.
Welcome to Europe though, you will enjoy the hell out of the place.
February 18th, 2009 at 1:02 amESTI’m going a bit contrary.
You’re screwing the pooch.
Don’t try to find all the usual home comfort foods. Find new ones. You’re in a new land, go for different.
That’s what makes traveling into the realm of the furrin devils so interesting.
Also, when you give up your usual and go for the alien, bizarre and weird for new comfort foodishnesses, you get to come back home in the end and all the old familiar stuff is just that much better.
February 18th, 2009 at 2:32 amESTCilantro is called coriander over here in the UK. It’s a very common ingredient and any supermarket that sells herbs will sell it.
… but can someone explain what half-and-half is? Is it like skimmed milk, or does it have something to do with cream?
February 18th, 2009 at 3:03 amESTPlus — I have to agree with Grimmy, above.
I’ve known a lot of Americans move over here. Some love it, some hate it. Time and again, the ones who loved it were the ones who sought out the best things Europe had to offer. The ones who hated it were the ones who tried to replicate their American life in the UK and found that they couldn’t. To them, England was always lacking.
February 18th, 2009 at 3:07 amESTReally glad you made it over there safely, Rachl! I was just browsing Amazon’s UK site and they sell those little non-perishable creamers someone mentioned above. I know they’re not as good as the refrigerated stuff but maybe they’ll grow on you. They call’em creamer jiggers–for some reason that made me laugh.
Another suggestion for that salsa conundrum–they also sell cilantro seeds–you could grow your own! Except that the seeds are “usually dispatched in 1 to 3 weeks.” Calling all cars, calling all cars, seed packets to be sent to Rachl’s flat….
February 18th, 2009 at 3:18 amESTHello Rachel & Rupert.
Welcome to England!
If the layout of your Tesco is anything like our nearest-
Salsa: look for an aisle with the sign “foreign foods” or “world food”.
Also try the chiller cabinets area where they have pre-made salads and spreads.
Tortilla chips will be in the crisps and snacks aisle.
Sliced meats: usually various in the cooked meats aisle. Or try the deli counter.
Queso cheese: huh?
Sliced hard cheese. How hard? Sliced cheese is usually soft-ish; and usually just the one type.
Paper plates & disposable cups: they’re in the household goods aisles somewhere.
Creamer: never seen such. Never want to
February 18th, 2009 at 4:08 amESTCrisps (chips) and nachos in Tesco are usually in the second to last aisle - the one before all the alcohol. And jars of salsa are usually right beside them.
Paper plates will probably be next to aluminium foil and the like, which is usually either in the household goods aisle or the freezer aisle (I don’t know why).
As for the cheeses - not much hope. But there is a massive selection of cheeses in big branches of Tesco, you should be able to find something you like!
Walkers crisps are the best if you’re after non-tortillas; their flavours include quintessentially British varieties such as Worcester Sauce and Fish & Chips, as well as Cajun Squirrel!
And if you can’t find what you’re after in Tesco, try the other big supermarket chains - Asda (owned by Walmart), Sainsbury’s and Morrisons.
February 18th, 2009 at 4:34 amESTNo bible thumping gun clinging Pennsyltuckians commenting on buying beer and booze?? In PA, you have to buy your booze and wine from the STATE STORE. A state owned liquor store. Beer must be bought by the case or barrel from a beer distributor. Any quantity less must be bought from a bar (all overhead costs gladly added to the price). NO alcohol sales of any type on Sundays (unless something has changed since I moved.) Nothing more liberating than moving from PA to a state that sells beer in a grocery store, on Sundays.
February 18th, 2009 at 6:38 amESTOnce again, the handy Joe Bay UK-US translation guide:
UK -> US
===============
Cracker -> Practical Joke
Digestive -> Cracker
Biscuit -> Cookie
Scone -> Biscuit
Crumpet -> Pancake
Crisps -> Chips
Chips -> Fries
USAGE GUIDE:
=========================
US: COOKIE CRISP
THEM: BISCUIT CHIP
US: COCOA PUFFS
THEM: CHOCO PONCES
US: CHEERIOS
THEM: GOODBYES
US: PRODUCT 19
THEM: PRODUCT ONE POINT NINE TIMES TEN TO THE FIRST
US: SPECIAL K
THEM: “SPECIAL” K
US: KIX
THEM: KIQUES
US: OOPS! ALL BERRIES!
THEM: TERRIBLY SORRY, I SEEM TO HAVE OVERDONE IT ON THE BERRIES, SORRY AGAIN, WHAT A SILLY GIT I AM.
US: COUNT CHOCULA
THEM: NIGEL CHOCO-SMYTHE (BART.)
US: FROOT LOOPS
THEM: FRUIT LUIPS
US: RAISIN BRAN
THEM: SULTANA BARLEY-GERM
US: CAP’N CRUNCH
February 18th, 2009 at 8:43 amESTTHEM: LEFTENANT BISCUIT
What Gareth said,
You do sound like you might be somewhat near Lakenheath and Mildenhall AFB. Along with the commissary,they should also have Base Exchanges (BX), or at least they did in 1970 when my dad was stationed there.
February 18th, 2009 at 8:57 amESTRachel,
I did some googlin’ for you to hopefully solve your salsa problem:
1:
2:
I think the winner is this one – MexGrocer Online!!!! They haz everyting!
Good luck.
February 18th, 2009 at 8:58 amESTPlain Ol\\\’ Bob:
There was a shift in the Earth’s magnetic field a couple of years ago and the PA State Store honchos decided to let certain locations open on Sunday afternoon. My friends in the eastern part of the state still prefer NJ or DE for their purchases, however.
Grimey:
February 18th, 2009 at 9:14 amESTDitto
Rachel congratulations on a safe trip!
To be snarky, ’cause I must, though I hate to mock your pain, isn’t queso cheese rather redundant? Not being from Texas though, and admittedly my Spanish being rather dodgy, perhaps it is indeed not quite the same as looking for cheese cheese….
On the other hand, I feel your pain. When I spent a month in the Canadian “bush” last November I couldn’t find real American Cheese. The closest thing they had was this rubbery oily crap in the individual cellophane wrappers. And, forget asking for American Cheese on your burgers in restaurants. The best reaction you’ll get is a blank confused sort of look.
On the upside, you ought to be able to sample such iconic foods as Bubble and Squeak, Spotted Dick and Treacle.
February 18th, 2009 at 9:21 amESTSo…., Rachel,
Is that control panel from Mars for the oven or the washer/dryer? I couldn’t tell. If you don’t watch out, you might end up with some overcooked clothes or very watery dinners.
February 18th, 2009 at 9:54 amESTYou got me stumped two with that washer/dryer heiroglyph thingie. I found myself looking at it, trying to understand, and turning my head from side to side like our dog does.
It looks like everyone else has covered the American foods concern here. Surely somewhere over there has them.
February 18th, 2009 at 9:56 amESTRachel,
Listen to your Uncle Kim, when it comes to the Food Thing. Don’t try to bring America to England: become a Brit. Seriously. As one commenter said, for example, substitute Indian for Mexican, and even though it’s different, it’s a wonderful difference. Indian food, especially as served in the UK, is as good as you’ll find anywhere in the world, if you like spicy foods.
Instead of tacos and such, start eating meat pies (Daughter loves steak and onion, both Sons love steak and potato). You’ve already discovered chips and tartare sauce — other pleasures await.
Forget packaged sliced cheese. Have it sliced at the counter. England makes some of the world’s finest cheese, and to eat that revolting packaged shit instead is to miss one of the great taste experiences of life.
I share your rage at the teeny washing machine, by the way, but what you’ll learn is that apart from your undies, you just don’t have to wash your clothes as often as you did in Cuidad Tejas, simply because England is not a sauna, and you don’t perspire as much. It sounds revolting, but it’s true. The “wear it once, then wash it” thing is largely an invention of the detergent companies anyway. (Strangely enough, I learned this in Chicago, where it’s cold — in Texas terms — for 9 months of the year. The same will be true in England.)
If you feel like it, drop me a note and I’ll hook you up with friends Over There who will show you the finer side of English life: hunting, shooting, drinking (sometimes all at the same time), and where to get the best foods. Sometimes, they come here and visit us, and always go back with stuff like jalapenos and salsa. They can always take back a few extras for you…
February 18th, 2009 at 9:58 amEST2 Minute Salsa
1 400gram tin chopped tomatoes.
1 Onion, finally chopped
Chillis to taste finely chopped
Garlic to taste (or not)
Cilantro/coriander roughly chopped.
Mix in bowl, leave in fridge for a while, then enjoy.
Note: Tinned tomatoes can be watery so you might want to reduce it over a low heat.
Anything you don’t eat, freeze in ice cube tray then bag the lumps. This also works as a pizza topping, just add cheese.
February 18th, 2009 at 10:09 amESTThree words for you to remember: Burton on Trent. Just in case you’re interested in some great beer. Oh, and Orkney Isles. Skullsplitter will do just that.
Sigh. I miss the UK, because all I did was eat, drink beer and visit historic places which, sometimes, also served beer. What’s not to like?
Except for the blood pudding and haggis. Screw that shit. If someone offers those to you, Just Say No.
February 18th, 2009 at 10:26 amESTI’m just stopping by to reinforce the whole Indian food thing - it’s good stuff. As for “queso”, it’s just melted cheddar, sour cream, maybe a little butter, and salsa. That’s it. Once you solve your salsa conundrum, your “queso” conundrum will be solved as well.
Also, thanks for reminding me about why I don’t live in Texas. I remember Idaho having similar blue laws (no hard alcohol in the grocery stores, no liquor sales after 2 a.m. or on Sunday, etc.) and couldn’t get out of there fast enough. Heck, I don’t even drink - it’s just the idea that I couldn’t even if I wanted to that bugged me. Fortunately, I live in good ol’ Nevada. We’ll let you buy everything short of lab-grade ethyl alcohol in a grocery store, we’ll encourage you to gamble, we’ll even let you purchase the company of women to do whatever you want with them… but God help you if you have a pot stem in your car. That’s a felony right there.
February 18th, 2009 at 11:03 amESTIt looks like “area of concern” overload! In such cases it must go straight to the WTF department. Way to follow procedure, Rachel: bonus for the angry face!
Good luck, and listen to your brother!
February 18th, 2009 at 11:20 amESTHaggis sounds like one of those things you have to eat as a rite of passage.
In the Philippines, it was Balut. Fertilized duck eggs allowed to grow into embryos, then fermented and finally soft boiled.
In China, it was Bird Nest Soup. Boiled strands of hardened bird spit.
Korea was all about the kimchee.
Every furrin devil place has it’s own particular yuk that you’ve got to eat at least once just to prove you aint scared.
Just be glad you’re not in a place that favors animal eyeballs or some such.
February 18th, 2009 at 11:21 amESTDefinitely try some pies. Steak and Ale pie is one of the wonders of the world. mmmmmm.
For fun, go and find yourself a Mexican or American restaurant. They are hilarious. They’re not bad, but they’re definitely from Bizarro world.
Then go and find the Indian and Chinese restaurants, they are so good, it’ll blow your mind.
February 18th, 2009 at 11:40 amESTDon’t try to eat American. Don’t mail-order food. Find where the Tesco “yellow label” (marked-down) food is displayed, and use it to expand your menu options and expose you to new ideas cheaply. Use milk and/or single cream in your coffee. Tesco has disposable cups and plates, Tesco has Salsa. Brits use grated cheese in sandwiches. Colas other than Coke and Pepsi are sweetened with this strange sweetener called “cane sugar”. The Tesco store brand premium gin is actually pretty good, certainly better than the variety of Gordon’s we get in the USA.
February 18th, 2009 at 12:12 pmESTI tried to cook American in Malta and exhausted my month’s budget in the first week. My first few months living in Montreal were pretty expensive too, until I got used which foods were the best value in that country. Same thing when I moved to the UK.
Ask your neighbors for help figuring out your washer-dryer. The pictograms are old hat for them, and it will help you to integrate. Get used to feeling stupid. When I asked my landlady to help me write the cheque, because I had never done one before, her five-year-old thought it the funniest thing ever, that a grown man was so stupid he couldn’t even write a check.
Get a small food processor. If they sell decent produce, salsa problem solved.
February 18th, 2009 at 12:16 pmESTAs to the creamer, put the powdered crap in the food processor with vegetable oil and water, and you’ll essentially have the liquid stuff. You’ll have to experiment on the proportions. For flavored creamer, add vanilla extract, etc.
I think it’s one of those things you eat if you want to die. But that’s just me.
February 18th, 2009 at 12:44 pmESTOK, Another Rachel, half-and-half is a product sold in the U.S. that is half milk and half cream — diluted cream, if you will. It is homogenized so fat globs don’t appear on the surface of your coffee as happens with pure cream.
Now will you please tell me what a sultana is?
February 18th, 2009 at 12:47 pmESTIsn’t the top symbol on the laundry dial the Alcoholics Anonymous symbol?
February 18th, 2009 at 1:49 pmESTphysics geek:
February 18th, 2009 at 2:15 pmESTHaggis, it’s a Scottish thing.
But black pudding, yum! (As long as you get it from a good butcher.)
With fried apple slices, a mustard sauce and a bottle of red wine, or a good bitter.
Or as part of a proper “full English” breakfast.
Nom nom nom.
Having existed in Europe for three (non-consecutive) years now the only thing I would add is that those advocating for going native are spot on. Try what the locals eat/drink. It has worked for me in several places (note: if in the middle east this advice is null and void - some great food, but ‘locals’ varies considerably).
If you’re hitting Tesco for food, grab what is relatively cheep, that’s what the locals are doing. When you’re out? My experience with the local fish-and-chipper in London is that they make some good shit.
Replicating US food in Europe is damn near impossible, quite expensive at the very least. Going native though? Loads of new things to try and enjoy. Ditto PhysicsGeek on the haggis thing though, a little experimentation is one thing, eating haggis? No.
February 18th, 2009 at 2:16 pmESTTesco should have a product called ’single cream’ that is excellent for coffee. I also thought I could taste that whole milk in Britain is a percent or so richer in cream than the US version.
February 18th, 2009 at 3:04 pmESTIn Australia that would be most likely be . They’re actually not too bad..
February 18th, 2009 at 6:08 pmEST1. The correct food path is, as usual, somewhere in the middle (in sharp contradistinction to politics). Enjoy all the local stuff (clotted cream, cheese, bread, beer, etc., top this list). But for when the good Lord throws a cravin’ on you, be prepared with the real ingredients you need (masa for tortillas, chiles, etc.). Making a big old batch and freezing, a la the ice cube idea above, is an excellent strategy.
February 18th, 2009 at 8:31 pmEST2. I am with Rick Lucas. How DO you pronounce “chav”? Is it “chav” like “check, please”, or “shav” or ???
3. Amen to Alexa Kim. Cilantro. Ecccch.
4. Curry is the sole ingredient in Indian food that makes it inedible. Naan is marginally ok. For those advocating going native, yes, it does come in a zillion varieties, flavors, and heat. They all are… curry-flavored. Brrrrgh!
5. Agree with commenters above re black pudding and haggis. Consider these items to be the local equivalent of head cheese. Huge, huge difference between clotted cream and clotted old blood for breakfast
I’m too lazy to read all the comments, but I haven’t seen this in the ones I have read: For Hazelnut creamer, you could buy a bottle of Hazelnut syrup. The use real cream (as others have suggested) and a shot of syrup for your coffee. Real cream in coffee is DEFINITELY habit-forming.
EDIT: I was also going to suggest contacting Kim du Toit for suggestions, but now that I’m more caught up on the comments, I see that he’s already offered help if you want it, so I guess I don’t need to.
February 18th, 2009 at 11:07 pmESTYou are clearly not familiar with the less publicized history of America’s founding. It actually all started with a bunch of Brits sitting around saying, “Still no salsa? F*ck that, we’re outta here”. Shortly thereafter America was born.
February 19th, 2009 at 3:49 amESTTrue enough, but the English consider Scotland part of Britain. Funny thing, the Scots don’t exactly feel the same way.
At a B&B I stayed at in the Scottish Highlands, near Eileen Donan Castle, the owner and his wife were originally from somewhere right outside of London. His first words to me? “How do you like it here in Britain?” Later than week, down in Stirling, I saw a one man show where the guy played William Wallace. I do not remember the words “Welcome to Britain” emanating from his lips. However, since Scotland has been under English rule for a long time, I ascribe every horrific or stupid thing that the Scottish do to the English (British). It makes me feel better.
For the record, I have Irish, English, Scottish AND French blood in me. And no, I don’t particularly advertise that last one when I’m in England, Ireland or Scotland.
February 19th, 2009 at 8:56 amESTNow will you please tell me what a sultana is?
A raisin, or the grape that the raisin is made from.
February 19th, 2009 at 10:44 amESTHang in there. My wife is from blighty (England) and I’ve been over there a few times. There will be growing pains.
If you’re desperate for Tex-Mex, try the Texas Embassy (http://www.texasembassy.com/). It’s near Trafalgar square. They have salsa, and it’s not bad. It’s not Texas, but it’s not bad.
While you’re there, try some British delicacies: Tunnucks tea cakes are about 1000x better than mallowmars; and Cadbury beats the cocoa beans off of Hershey.
February 19th, 2009 at 12:52 pmESTFor half-and-half, you might give Starbucks a shot. Not sure what the beverage standards are in international stores, but there’s probably a good chance that they have it there. Never been to a Starbucks overseas, but I work at one in the US, and if I wanted what you want, I would ask for an iced venti cup of half-and-half. Here, we would probably charge you for a cup of milk ($1.xx) + the upcharge for making a drink all half-and-half (40 cents, here). See if they’ll do it for you. (Or, find out who their distributor is!) Again, not sure what the policy would be there, since I know they do some things significantly different. Good luck, this would drive me crazy!
February 19th, 2009 at 10:52 pmEST@ Coppertop - Chav is pronounced with a “ch” as in “check”.
And haggis is wonderful, but you’ll struggle to get it in southern England. Wait until you come up to Scotland and get a deep-fried one with chips at the chip shop. It’s the food of the Gods.
February 20th, 2009 at 4:41 amESTRachel, I’m a Native Texan and even here in Texas, I’ve discovered that there are no restaurants or grocery stores that can make salsa very well. Many of them use Pace Picante Salsa. (blechhh) I make my own salsa and it’s quite easy & quick.
Rotel tomatoes (#2 can){if those aren’t available, use fresh, ripe Roma tomatoes or if you must, use canned stewed tomatoes)
about three serrano peppers (jalapenos can be substituted)
cilantro (about half a medium bunch)
garlic (2-3 cloves)
onions (about 1 ½ medium onions)
salt (1- 1½ teaspoons)
cumin(½ teaspoon)
lime juice (1-2 tablespoons)
Process in a food processor or use a knife and finely dice/chop everything.
Let sit in the fridge for an hour, et voila, salsa!!
February 20th, 2009 at 8:35 amESTRachel,
Canned Evaporated Milk. Its better than 1/2&1/2, honestly. God Bless my grandmother.
February 20th, 2009 at 9:47 amEST