Commenter Hollowpoint says that he’d like an update on the BT/internet situation because it’s fun to read about other people’s frustrations. Well then. Here.
BT (British Telecom) is the shittiest, most outrageously incompetent organization I have ever had the foul displeasure of TRYING to do business with. Not actually doing business with because they don’t do shit.
I hate BT with more hate than I have ever hated in my entire life.
We moved in to our flat on Feb. 16. Rupert not-his-real-name had called from the States a month before that to get BT rolling. We were supposed to have phone and internet by the 18th.
I don’t know all the details of exactly what happened because Rupert was handling it, but essentially, when he called BT about a week before we moved to confirm we’d have internet by the 18th so that I could start working that day, they said they had no order on file. Or that they did, but it had been canceled for some reason. I’ve been reading all kinds of BT Sucks! blogs and apparently they do that a lot, because they’re assholes.
So he got the ball rolling again. We had a functioning phone line by the end of the first week (but only on some of the phone jacks, that’s another story), but no modem with which to access internet. We call. They say they sent it. We wait. No modem for another week. We keep calling and finally they agree to send us “another” one.
It arrived over three weeks ago, and lo! It didn’t WORK. We did all the troubleshooting, I called BT every day for over a week. Each and every single time, it went like this, and by the way every single customer service person is Indian:
Me: “We received a new modem but it does not work. I’ve done all the troubleshooting from the manual.”
BT: “Please hold while I run some tests.”
Five minutes later:
BT: “Is your modem on? Did you reset it? What are the lights doing?”
Me: “Yes. Yes. NOTHING.”
BT: “Ah well. Let me forward this on to the engineers. We will call you back tomorrow.”
Every single day it went precisely by that script. I remained polite because the call center dudes were polite, painfully so. I’m sure they get screamed at a lot, and being that they’re in India and have nothing to do with my particular modem or the BT business model, I take it easy on them.
After over a week of this complete and utter bullcorn, Rupert called BT on a Saturday and demanded that the bullcorn times conclude, and that they send a technician to the flat to physically DO something. Three days later, Technician arrived. And as a sidenote, his accent was very interesting – a perfect combination of Indian and cockney. But I digress from the hate.
He ran a bunch of tests on the modem and on our phone lines, and announced that the phone lines are fine (with one exception, again another story), but that the modem was faulty. And that he’d order us a new one THAT DAY.
Now, I really hate misunderstandings, clusterfucks, and uncertainty, as you may have noticed in my post yesterday when I made the pharmacist explain free pills to me four times. So when Technician said he’d order a new modem…
Me: “So you are going to order it today? I don’t need to call BT about this?”
Technician: “Yes I will order it. You need not call.”
Me, as he packed up his gear: “So, just so I’m sure, I don’t need to contact BT and order the new modem myself?”
Technician: “That’s correct. I will do it today.”
Me, as he walked towards the door: “So you’re sure I don’t need to make any phone calls? Sorry to keep asking, it’s just we really need internet. I’m having trouble getting my work done because of this.”
Technician: “No ma’am, do not worry, I’ll order it as soon as I get to the truck.”
THAT LYING DICKHEAD.
We waited for many days, trying to be patient, struggling to get by with our shitty little 3G USB sticks. Rupert kept asking if I was sure Technician had ordered the modem, and I kept telling him how many times I’d made Technician clarify.
About 4 days after Technician’s visit, BT called.
BT: “Hello, we are just checking to see if your internet is working yet?”
Me: “Um no because we don’t have a modem. The technician came out and allegedly ordered a new one.”
Bt: “Lovely. Let us know if it doesn’t work. By-eeee!”
Another 4 days pass but still no modem. Finally we could take no more, and Rupert called BT.
Who had absolutely no record of any new modem being ordered by any technician. They had NO FRAKKING CLUE. Rupert laughed because otherwise he’d cry, and asked them to please. goddammit. send. us. modem. That was this past Sunday.
They called yesterday to ask if our internet was working yet. I said no, BECAUSE WE STILL DON’T HAVE A MODEM, there’s supposed to be one on the way, please tell me you know that? They said they had the record of the technician’s visit, but still no record of a new modem. They asked me to hold. Five minutes later, they came back and said, “Oh that’s right, yes, it’s on its way, sorry, please call us if you have any problems with it!” I think they’re fucking with us.
Actually I don’t, and that’s what’s so godawful frustrating about it. They really just have no idea what’s going on, and the incompetence of the system itself is seemingly insurmountable. It is a grade-A top-notch FUBAR situation.
Like I said the last time I posted about this, there really is no need for anyone to give me any advice. I’ve done more research into alternate internet options in the last few weeks than I did on anything in four years of college. I KNOW there are other providers, but I also know, from reading all the help forums, that the others can suck just as bad, partly because BT owns the lines. And at this point, we’ve invested this much time in BT, we’re going to at least wait for the new modem and see if it works. If it doesn’t, game over.
Now as for the “lines” situation. Get this. Killkillkill time:
The phone jack in the bedroom we’re using as a home office doesn’t work. No dial tone with a basic phone. When I had Technician here, I asked him to check it. He said he could check it but couldn’t do anything about it because he was BT Internet Man, not BT Phone Man.
But he checked it anyway with his little machine thingy and sure enough, completely dead line.
Sigh. I said, all right, then I need to call and have BT Phone Man come out? Yes, he said, and oh by the way, whatever they do, you will be charged for it.
What The Fuck.
Me: “We will be charged for a fault in BT’s equipment? A fault that was here before we even moved to this continent?”
Technician: “Yes, they have to make their money somehow.” That’s what he actually said. He said it.
Me: “Um, okay, we do pay a bill every month, that’s money.”
Technician: “Well…”
Strangle choke die.
So stunned was I about this that I did some more research. Sure enough. I found, among other horror stories, an actual news article about a pensioner who was charged 100 pounds for a battery change. .
When I can get my Vodafone 3G mobile device thingy to function at greater than dial-up speed, I read stuff like and and oh hell, . Commiserating feels good but doesn’t take away the desire to do karate on an entire corporation.
What truly baffles me the most is that a whole nation puts up with this shit. I just don’t get it. Can you imagine AT&T or Comcast or whoever back in America putting out such horrible product and terrifying service for years and years, and actually staying in business? No you can’t. Because there’s viable competition there. What a dangerous concept.
So. I still haven’t checked blog email in a few weeks. SORRY. Not my fault. Last time I tried, it started downloading the 300+ messages in my inbox and then crashed. Tried again, crashed. I gave up.
P.S. I wrote this post this morning, and now it’s 5:30 p.m. and the new modem actually arrived in the meantime. Now we shall just see if it actually functions, but not until I finish work for the day because I need to have a good stiff drink before I even open that box. Things may require violent smashing and it’s always best to have a buzz when that need arises.
You can’t wait for my update. What’s more fun than reading pure negativity and impotent rage? Not much, my friends. Not much.
UPDATE:
CHRIST ON A DOUBLEDECKER BUS TOUR, I HAVE NEVER HATED WITH SUCH COMPLETENESS BEFORE IN ALL MY LIFE. AND DON’T READ ANY FURTHER IF YOU CAN’T HANDLE LANGUAGE YOU MIGHT HEAR AT A TRUCKSTOP CRACKHOUSE.
No the goddamn fucking modem doesn’t work.
You don’t even know. You don’t even KNOW! how pissed off I am right now.
Oh and what else you don’t know is exactly WHAT that “same thing” is that both the modems have done. I’m going to tell you, and then I would like for YOU to tell ME how people smart enough to run a “business” are so fucking stupid actually.
You know how these devices have several lights on them, right? A power light, an activity light, a connectivity light, and so on.
So these BT modems have a certain light called The Broadband Light. And this Broadband Light is the focus of all my pure dark rage.
Because when you set it up, the instruction book says, “Wait until the Broadband Light turns solid blue. If it does not turn solid blue, see the Lights Table on page 11.”
Well OF COURSE IT DIDN’T TURN FUCKIN’ BLUE. So I go to the Lights Table, which features precisely eight eventualities, four of which involve the unholy Broadband Light, and they are:
Broadband Light is solid red
Broadband Light is off
Broadband Light is solid blue
Broadband Light is flashing orange
Well guess what MY pud-smoking shit-for-brains Broadband Light is? Just guess! Do it!
SOLID ORANGE.
I have read the entire 44-page user manual and there is not a solitary mention of any ass-stain solid orange Broadband Lights. Which is what I’ve been telling BT for over a month now. And every time, they act like I must be mistaken.
“It’s solid orange? Are you sure it’s not flashing?”
Oh, why no sir I guess it is! I MUST BE BLINKING MY FUCKING EYES EVERY OTHER SECOND. I just think it’s solid orange because every time I open my eyes, it’s flashing on! Sorry I bothered you, no worries, now I am going to go play with my dollies and make mud pies! Maybe the nurse here at ‘tard camp will take me to the bathroom to make poopies first or else I might make poopies in my pants!
Jesus Christ.
So now two modems in a row that do something no one at BT has ever heard of. Super. Just fuckin dandy SUPER. And I thought doing my taxes was a butthurtin’. HA HA. So naive.
Meanwhile, I’m thisclose to losing yet another transcription account because my 3G device keeps booting me off at the exact moment the doctor decides he needs all his reports back “stat!” I want so badly to tell him to take his “stat” and shove it right up his ass but I think I should save that kind of sass for someone who can’t fire me. BT I’m looking at you, ya fucker.
Rupert’s out of town and that is why I’m yelling at the internet. Surely he’s sorry he’s not here to enjoy this really beautiful, charming side of me. I’m going to publish this Very Important update, then I am going to have another drink, then I am going to take a deep breath and shove all my nuclear rage deep down into my soul where it’ll grow me a nice tumor, and then I am going to call BT for the 50th time in 6 weeks. Good times, good times.
You know what’s totally righteous, though? They sell Strongbow cider in plastic 2-liter bottles here for less than 3 pounds. It’ll get you through the dark lonely phone calls with BT customer service.
Sounds like my dealings with Verizon lately – I got a combo deal that was supposed to combine my wireless with my internet (no home phone). When I actually try to pay the bill, both the internet and wireless divisions claim I need to talk to a 3rd division that handles the bundled bills, while that division claims that they don’t handle my bill because I don’t have a home phone line with them. Meanwhile I’m getting calls on my cell phone threatening to turn off my service if I don’t pay the bill.
I now understand how the Empire ended….
Damn right, I can’t!
Back in the day, Ma Bell could be pretty awful :).
And that, my dear, is why we love you. All the negativity and rage directed towards the stupid. Keep up the good work!
With 6 degrees of separation, don’t we have someone who knows someone (repeat as needed) at the installation department of BT or knows w/h/o/ t/o/ b/r/i/b/e/ er how to facilitate these matters?
We need that supersekret number the illuminati use to get things done!
I’m sorry, but this really made me laugh – I’m sorry its at your expense though.
I’m truly beginning to understand what forces of aggravation it was that made that guy write that letter that was voted the best customer complaint letter. Funnily enough, it was an english company – a telecommunications one at that, and BT was mentioned honorably in it…for its comparative incompetence.
It’s just sheer ineptness and incompetence – the kind that a lot of government monopolies specialize in. The fact that it wasn’t maliciously intended would only add to my infuriation, I think. You can get angry and vent back at malicious intent and derive some satisfacation at being able to express yourself in kind. But this staggering brand of sheer cluelessness and blase ineptness by people who are so bloody polite about it, how on earth do you respond to that?
This whole saga is just begging for an enormous *area of impotent rage concern* to be circled around it. I can’t wait for the update. Have a few Strongbows or something before you go near the modem.
Well, yes I can. Like Mrs. Hill, I remember Ma Bell! (And you beat me to the linkage, Mrs. Hill. Curse you, in a friendly way.)
Oh, I can imagine that sort of BS going on here. Actually, I don’t need to imagine it. Ten years ago I worked for a company that dicked customers around like that.
Cox cable in College Station was HORRIBLE. Why? Because they could be. There was no alternative for cable television or cable modems. And that was before DSL. If you wanted an internet connection that wasn’t dial-up your only choice was a Cox cable modem.
I worked customer service, so I got a ton of shit from pissed off customers. And I commiserated with them and agreed that the way Cox did things was shit, partly because I did agree and partly because agreeing with them usually took the steam out of their raging.
The billing system drove people nuts. There were only two ways of paying for Cox’s internet service. Either you gave them your credit card number so they could charge you automatically each month or you gave them your banking information so they could draft your bank account each month. That’s it. No other forms of payment were accepted. No we-send-you-a-bill-you-send-us-a-check like Cox did with it’s cable television. Why? I couldn’t say. But it ticked a lot of people off.
I think my favorite story of Cox’s rotten customer handling was when they were doing a one-day sign up promo thing. It was on a Friday. That was the only day you could get the promo deal, which was something like half off for your first 3 months or something. We, the people who signed up new customers, were explicitly told NOT to inform customers who came in Monday-Thursday of that week wanting to sign up that if they just waited until Friday they’d get a better deal.
I ignored those instructions and told them anyway. But several people came to me angry the following week because they found out about the promo after the fact and were angry that when they came in to sign up two days before the promo that they were not informed.
It was a wretched organization. No competition ensured they could get away with shoddy service and obnoxious policies. The higher-ups just didn’t care if customers were pissed. If you wanted a decent internet connection off campus, you had to put up with the crap.
It’s okay to hate, Rachel. BT deserves it. There is something so incongruous about dealing with such an inept company that is (ironically) staffed by some of the nicest and most courteous customer service folks. Over the course of my 9-month ordeal with BT I could never quite wrap my mind around the fact that I really liked the three or four BT folks who were handling my account (personally, of course… as though through BT’s incompetence I had earned some strange VIP status), while simultaneously wishing a meteor would strike the corporate HQ and wipe them all out.
The good news is that your dealings with BT will prepare you well for future dealings with the likes of SkyDigital. I remember ordering SkyDigital when I moved into a 3rd story flat. When I placed the order I made certain to tell them that I lived on the third floor, yet when the “technician” came to install it he had to back off. Seems that my situation required a “special heights” installation team. Said team being distinguished by the fact that they routinely carried a ladder.
I am not joking.
I had a similar experience with HP last year. My laptop spent 4 months at HP being “fixed” and they did nothing but lie and give me the runaround. And the incompetence… it’s impossible to be so inept by accident. When they returned it to me damaged, partially disassembled, and with a lower resolution screen installed, I sent it back and it must have fallen into a black hole, because I never saw it again.
Six weeks later, I finally demanded a replacement computer. The guy agreed on a system and configuration, but he lied, and I received an inferior one worth substantially less than the original.
On the upside, it hasn’t broken down so far, but having dealt with quality HP commercial products in the past, I can’t believe how horribly dishonest and insulting their customer service is.
Hmm… Tully and Mrs. Hill both mention Ma Bell in the negative, which actually surprises me, but I have found over the years that the divisions of nationally-known incompetents which seem to show up in the Greater Cincinnati area tend to do better than average.
However, the BREAKUP of Ma Bell led to rules which allowed competing companies to take over your long distance service, or add their third-party service to your account. like the charge I recently discovered on my phone bill for a third-party voicemail provider at $15 per month. When I complained to Cincinnati Bell, they said that it was probably because I filled out information for some unrelated free offer somewhere, and that they had ONLY RECENTLY gotten the legal ability to block such things for customers who requested it.
I don’t know whether to laugh or cry at your continued dealings with BT. I think I am opting for laughing. Hilariously funny when it happens to you but I do have sympathy for you as well. Nice use of the word “FRAKKING,” btw.
I have to wonder if you’ve ever seen the movie Brazil. It’s a disjointed trip through Britain’s bureaucracy in a distopian future made by Terry Gilliam. It seems scarily analogous to your current situation, and it even has a renegade telephone repair man who’s labeled a “domestic terrorist” or some such and is Britain’s most wanted criminal.
Pardon me, but does anybody smell smoke?
If “it’s fun to read about other people’s frustrations,” here’s Michael Totten’s .
I’m not offering advice, just noting that in my personal experience running new phone line from the box to a jack (placed where you actually need/use it) is very easy, if you don’t feel constrained to running it inside the walls and don’t have any qualms about drilling a new hole through your wall. Assuming you have something like a Home Depot over there where you can buy the phone line, which is pretty cheap over here.
Hey, remember those “free” pills you got the other day? Well they have to make their money somehow. You’ve been paying for them since the first day you called BT. Now go have yourself a drink of Victory Gin.
You’re a MEAN brother, Rick. ;-)
Sorry Rachel, I hate to hear it but AT&T and Charter have been doing the same to me for a year.
The thing I find especially interesting is that Microsoft had been running a series of ads that include part of an interview w/ the Pres. of BT Group.
In it he talks about making things better for the company and its shareholders. Nothing wrong with that but NOTHING about the customers!
Maybe MS is part of the problem???
To be fair, I think they may be justified here. Since it seems like the phone line problem is one that is a problem internal to your flat, ie internal wiring. That would be an issue I think you would take up with the landlord. So yeah they probably justified in charging for the repair of it if its something that isn’t a fault of theirs since it would be the landlord’s responsibility.
It seems like complaining to the electric company because the outlets on the north wall of a room don’t work. Though I could be missing something here, but that’s how it looks to me.
[Buzzion – as Fred the 4th says later in the thread, BT owns the lines in the building. Otherwise I would completely agree with you. In any case, we’re renters and I’ll be damned if we’re paying for the fault to be fixed. I’ve got a call in to the landlord already. I’m on a roll baby! – Rachel]
Ouch – sorry about that Rachel.
Reminds me of dealing with Microsoft. I find it ironic that MS has so many products, the world’s main software systems, and yet it is practically impossible to get customer service for anything. You have to pay again on top of spending money on their friggin software.
Ernestine, definitely.
“Don’t you care about my problems?”
“We’re the Phone Company. We don’t *have* to care.”
Buzzion: Re: the phone lines in the flat – It very well may be that the lines in the walls are BT property. Back in the old Bell days c. 1965 a homeowner was not supposed to touch the lines in the house. Bell would send a technician to do whatever was required. Remember, in those days you could not even attach a non-Bell phone device to the wires.
It’s definitely the same anywhere I’ve lived in the U.S. If you call the phone company, you have to pay for the call if the problem is on your end of the junction box.
Rachel:
Wow! Great post. I’m sorry for what you are going thru but we all have been there. I have a particular story that even now, years later, I simply refer to as the “chicken” story and those in the know simply hang their heads and nod back and forth, knowingly.
In one of the links in your post, the one from Red Ferret, there is an update with a solution to his BT problem. Have you tried that?
Keep us in the loop and don’t give up hope!
Now just imagine if you needed an MRI to diagnose a maybe terminal medical condition. Free anti-baby pills aside, you’d be getting the same run around from the NHS.
See here’s the thing. Keeping you from getting knocked up is one of their highest priorities because it saves the expense of having to pay for the little buggers. On the other hand, and aside from the cost of the MRI which they don’t want to pay in the first place, keeping you from dying does not save money because that end-of-life care can be rather expensive.
Rachel,
It’s time to go to the top. When I lived in London (I’m now in Edinburgh) I had a problem with BT. This was pre-broadband, but essentially the same sort of shitty customer “service”. Eventually I decided that enough was enough. I phoned the BT headquarters and asked for the Chairman’s fax number. It was a Friday evening and they gave me his home fax! I sent my message, the next day the problem was fixed and he sent me a couple of bottles of wine.
I achieved a similar result with Southern Electricity.
Then, with American Airlines, when I kicked up a stink at Gatwick and threatened to phone the Chairman there and then (it helped that I knew his name) we were immediately upgraded from cattle to first. The only downside was that we arrived in Dallas in a slightly over-indulged state…
Go to the top and say that you are a pissed-off internationally known blogger.
Regards from a BT shareholder (but not back then).
Aaahhhh… that’s the stuff I was looking for. I hope the new modem works; I’m giving it a 50/50 chance. Looking forward to the update either way.
FWIW- I work for a major phone company here in the US, dealing in part with DSL. If a customer needs a new modem, either the tech has a spare on his truck or a new one is shipped and recieved in a day or two. Not that we don’t have fuckups as well. Everyone does.
The part about charging you for fixing the phone jack? Yeah, pretty much the same as most US carriers. That’s considered “inside wiring” which is the customer’s responsibility. You’re either stuck paying the provider to fix it, or in your case getting the building management to do so (and good luck there).
Our company also uses outsourced tech support people in addition to our own US techs. The outsourced techs are polite almost to a fault… but horribly, terribly incompetant. Sure, they’ll reset a password or help configure your modem, but an actual problem requiring troubleshooting skills? Forget it.
The individual tech makes all the difference. Call, and call often. Eventually you’ll get someone who’ll actually take an interest in getting you in service.
I read that article- a good read; I check Totten’s site regularly as should everyone else. Seriously.
I’m not a violent man- especially when faced with the prospect of jail in a foreign country- but I’d have at least been very tempted to deliver some whoopass after being intentionally lied to and screwed over the way he was.
Write down the serial number of this modem; when you get your third (or would it be fourth?) make sure they are not giving you the same POS over and over.
If you’ve already thought of and done this, sorry, just go drink your cider
[Heh! No, we still have the original modem. LOL, it would be funny if I got a picture of them side-by-side in all their shitty glory. Might have to do that. And drink more cider. :) – Rachel]
One other US item on telco inside wiring – at least here in the land formerly served by Pacific Bell (who can keep up?) it is still possible to pay a miniscule monthly fee as insurance on the wiring.
Worth it. It’s usually a dollar a month down the rathole forever, but every once in a while something odd has happened, and telco employees come by (on Their Own Schedule, it’s true) and Just Fix It.
Oof- Just saw the update.
I was afraid of that- it is possible to get a bad modem right out of the box, but quite unusual. Too often “it’s the modem” is the easy way out for techs and tech support, because they get to just send out a new modem and be done with the call.
Please- describe what the other lights are labelled and what (if any) color light they have on them. It appears you have a wireless modem, which adds another potential point of failure.
[Oh I forgot to mention that – actually, the wireless feature of it works just FINE. Of course it does, right? Anyway, my laptop can “see” the modem and even tries to get on it. There’s just no broadband when it does. The other lights are “wireless” and “power”. They’re both solid blue as they should be. Sigh. – Rachel]
Having never dealt with BT in particular, I don’t have any horror stories. But being in the IT industry (WAN Side) I can tell you that ALL providers in the US can be like this (I’m fairly sure that NY Verizon has built their call center in one of the circles of hell.) My company uses AT&T as their primary provider, spending millions of dollars per month. Know what that gets ya — the phone number of some VP who tells you that they’re working on it, when something goes wrong.
Anyhow, the thing I see missing in this rant, Rachel, is a ticket or case number. Maybe you just left that part out, but I can tell you that any call center has some sort of ticketing system and that managers, useless as they may be, really get off on all the bull shit metrics that a ticket system will generate. My ass would be in a sling if I was not updating a ticket every two hours, and the boss would know if nothing was being done with a ticket, i.e. if it was sitting idle. Also, get the names of everyone you talk to. If you’ve done all this, then sorry about going over old ground, and sorry about all the trouble you’ve encountered. Hope all the run ins you have with socialism over there are of the “free Birth control pills” variety and not the BT kind.
Not to switch the Rotten Customer Service Genre here, but can anyone say ‘Delta Airlines’?
Excellent 1984 reference, sir!
Unmitigated win for you.
Ryan, don’t take Verizon’s crap. They truly are dirty, thieving, lying b*******. I know because I joined in a class action lawsuit against them because they tried to charge me an early termination fee after I had been a customer for over 3 years. I also turned them into the BBB in our State, among other people. They’re still trying to illegally collect money from several people who don’t owe them jack.
Rachel, I get you. I had to replace my modem/router on Tuesday. Luckily, I was dealing with nice folks for a change. Sorry you’re getting jerked around. The next time he comes run out and let the air out of his tires and hold him hostage until he fixes the blasted thing or otherwise remedies the situation.
The worst part of this whole nightmarish Evil Modem From Hell Scenario has to be the realization that, even if you were able to obtain the services of a qualified exorcist/modem technician who could actually exorcise the demon/fix the frakking thing, you’d still have to look at those God-forsaken coral-shit colored walls in your place for the rest of your stay in Merry Ol’ Technologically Incompetent/Possessed By Demons England.
You will be painting soon, yes?
Rachel-
Here’s a , including what a solid orange light means.
Solid orange apparently means it’s trained (established physical connection) and trying to authenticate (log on to the server). It’s supposed to go red after it fails; if it stays orange, it’s suggesting that it’s still trying to authenticate but for some reason, isn’t.
aaaaaaand for those still grappling with the “socialized medicine or US-style medicine better” dilemma, i do believe this should end that argument once and for all.
wachel has found herself BT’s bitch. didn’t wanna be; fought like hell against it; not her fault. doesn’t matter: she is *theirs*, body and soul. as weak and helpless as a shy, mewling kitten being humped by a great dane.
were this – you know – anywhere that AIN’T socialized, she could take her kitty butt elsewhere and get….um…..”relief”. but it’s not. so she can’t.
same goes for the health system over there too.
i don’t know what the answer to the healthcare/broadband provider debate IS, ok? but i know what it’s NOT.
best of luck in your ongoing struggle, wachel. ya might try some ice on the swollen, painfully throbbing parts. (unless of course there’s an “ministry of ice”, in which case you’re doubly screwed.)
did you know the english were once thought of as the hardest-working, most creative, most aggressive, most industrious, most profane (joan of arc referred to english women as the “goddamns”, since that’s what they seemed to say most) and the most ‘can do’ people on earth? they seem to have fixed that.
In a, perhaps, futile attempt to cheer you up: I’ve been told that the Irish nickname cider as “Johnny Jump Up” – ’cause you’ll drink a pint and be ready to start a fight. Then, after some more:
“Oh never, Oh never, Oh never again
If I live to be a hundred or a hundred and ten
I fell to the ground and I couldn’t get up
After drinking a quart of the Johnny Jump Up”
Here are some lyrics discussing the powers of this evil drink.
Personally I prefer Gaelic Storm’s rock version, but the lyrics are almost identical
Hollowpoint with the GoogleFu :)
do you think that maybe Rachel has not been set up on whatever server the modem is trying to authenticate to?
I read on BT’s site about non-BT supplied routers:
w/no password is the username/password combo according to
The Brits can make great beer, but their telecommunications and cars and…don’t get me started.
The Brits can make great beer.
The Brits are done.
I think we are going to have a new version of that video i just posted!
Good luck Rachel.
Could only guess. Next question would be if the modem is seeing both upstream and downstream traffic, and if not, is there after a modem reset.
If upstream but no downstream, the modem is trying to authenticate with the server, but the server either isn’t responding or isn’t recieving the traffic.
If two way traffic, the server is responding but not authenticating; this might point to bad credentials or settings either in the modem or server.
If no upstream, the modem isn’t even trying to authenticate for some reason.
So of course I scroll down slightly below the end of RL’s fine fine rant only to see an ad for:
Master of Arts in Diplomacy
Spit my coffee all over my keyboard, I did. Who’s that ad *targeted* at, do ya think?
Lessee: I remember the definition of Diplomacy as being “The art of saying ‘Nice doggie, nice doggie’ until you find a big enough stick.”
(Doggies being mentioned in a purely metaphorical sense, of course. This is RL’s territory, and I’m not suicidal. Besides, it’s someone else’s quote.)
It took me too long to type all this crap so others have found better info, but still… it may me worth trying the filter/phone/cable fiddling.
Is the broadband service coming in over the same wires/jacks as your active phone line? Or is it a separate circuit (master jack…)?
If its the same circuit (not a ‘master jack’), try plugging the router into another phone jack and see what happens. I can run my Megapath service Cayman DSL modem on any phone jack in the house (and I get better service downstairs, closer to the demarc).
Try swapping the phone cable (I assume its a standard 2-wire flat cord with RJ-11 plugs, like we use here?) with the other modem OR your phone.
Did they give you any filters to use for the phones? Try putting them in place between any phones and the jacks they’re plugged in to.
I have seen cases where some phones can screw up the DSL modem’s ability to connect if they were plugged in to the same circuit without a DSL filter (and ONE time, if it was plugged in to the same circuit even with the filter). It may be worth trying with all the phones/filters unplugged if its the same circuit.
The user guide book indicates you can sign on to the modem’s management interface (via wireless, or via a LAN port on the unit). Web browser (or telnet, per other sources). You may be able to locate a log view, or status info that might provide a hint about the problem.
Since your DSL is not connecting the book method of using a name ‘bthomehub.home’ as the target may not work so you might need to use the IP address. If you are using some skanky wintel peecee, open a command window and issue an IPCONFIG command. The ‘default gateway’ address is probably the one you want to try to connect to. Supposedly you received a password in email prior to getting served by BT.
There appear to be a few sites that talk about BT modem problems, may be worth reviewing; a bit of that below.
If the service is PPPoE (cheap consumer crap service aimed at making broadband act like dialup instead of real TCPIP connectivity) there’s a username/password associated with it that, at least sometimes here, is pre-programmed into the modem; the manual makes it look like thats the case there but I can’t be sure. I wonder how often BT sends a misconfigured, or unconfigured router out. Again something to check if you can get signed on to the device.
One link that might be worth trying for connecting to the device:
> you can also apparently telnet in to it : ?
> and the web admin page is – userid and password admin & admin
(don’t try the unlocking part though)
That ‘the-scream.co.uk’ site comes up a lot when I googled for “troubleshooting british telecom broadband”…
=====
The modem from BT was dead
Since you’re there you can’t fill it with lead
It would be so much fun
if you just had a gun
you could scare it to work out of dread.
=====
BT modem playing possum
I know how to make it blossom
Maggie gets a running start
Possum breaking is an art
modem shortly will display
spreading guts, electric flay
BT Tech can’t get away
Maggie looks at me to say
“Modem’s fun but not to eat”
“But that technician… what a treat!”
=====
I connected to the box
And wyrmed my way through BT’s locks
till I got through to steaming page
that said “They dumped our tea”, with rage
So now I know they don’t forget
Our harbor “teapot” sobriquet
And Broadband here won’t be for me
‘Til I replace the Boston Tea…
=====
The modem’s not blinking at me
Just an orange dot glows balefully
Not flashing or blue
Nor working, its true
Because BT’s quite clueless, you see.
Ohw oy saiy, wot wot!
Kevin’s remark about cars clued me in to the source of Rachel’s modem problem. It’s not BT’s fault (at least, not directly). The problem is that her modem is manufactured by………
Lucas
I suggest you get yourself a pair of 6-volt lead acid batteries, and hook them to the modem, not forgetting of course that it’s probably POSITIVE GROUND. And then drink more cider.
OMFG, what a bunch of nightmares. And now I’m remembering Whitworth threaded bolts!! Augh!
Fair enough. That makes sense. You know in a completely retarded allowing the company outside of the building owning parts of the building sort of way. But hey at least they enjoy free healthcare.
Hey you missed it in the manual.
Page 55:
If it’s like AT&T they have your account f’ed up in their system. They need to remove it and rebuild it (and push the changes through their redback like device). You WILL need an engineer there to get this working (there being at BT, NOT at your house). You need to move up to 2nd or 3rd tier support.
*giggles*….AHEMMM…sorry…
Me thinks they are trying to facilitate a “Texas Hillbilly” incident. That way they can’t be blamed, yanno?
Based on that, and the link posted above, it sounds like it’s not the modem.
You should tell them to send a Tech with a known good modem to test your line.
Searched, only useful thing I found with someone having a similar problem:
I doubt this is something the outsourced Indian techs are going to be able to figure out.
Only problem with that is that the modem or test set a field tech uses typically is programmed with credentials used by techs for testing purposes. If her account isn’t set up properly in the authentication server, his modem might work, but hers (with her own credentials) wouldn’t.
Too bad you cannot just walk down to a BT office, grab one of the cocksuckers by the throat and drag his ass into your flat and shove his head right in front of the modem.
I have to work from home too, and I know how frustrating it is with internet at 1992 speed.
Bastard Telecom
Comcast and AT&T don’t have these problems??
*dances in the moderation limelight*
*Tap and swirl, tap and swirl*
Hollowpoint Says:
Rachel-
Here’s a better explanation of the lights, including what a solid orange light means.
Solid orange apparently means it’s trained (established physical connection) and trying to authenticate (log on to the server). It’s supposed to go red after it fails; if it stays orange, it’s suggesting that it’s still trying to authenticate but for some reason, isn’t.
March 26th, 2009 at 4:02 pmEST
All of this is true, and I understand your frustration Rachel.
Here is something you might try. The next time you call, make sure you have the serial number from the modem either a) easily accessible or b) written down.
What sounds like is happening is that the modem is trying to make the connection but is failing to authenticate because BT has the wrong serial number down for the box. Without the right serial number, the modem will never work because each modem has a unique identifier that tells the system that it is the right one to authenticate to.
Basically this is the same reason that when you take your personally owned modem and attempt to connect it to your new cable internet line here in the states it doesn’t work.
I’ll bet you a bottom dollar that when you initiated the first “it doesn’t work” call to BT customer service with the second modem (or hell even the third) that BT had the wrong Serial number down for your new modem. When you asked for a third and/or fourth modem, BT had the number down for number 2 and they think that number 2 is still the modem that is hooked up. It’s still trying to authenticate to #2 so #3 isn’t connecting.
Basically, simple answer is this. When you get your new modem call BT before hooking it up and tell them what the serial number of the device you are attempting to install is. I’ll betcha it’ll work.
Yeah, it does sound like it’s some kind of credentials issue – but how is that not something the tech checked? I mean there’s incompetence, but really
I have no idea how the whole medical transcription business works. But wouldn’t it be possible in the meantime to work in the library, either on your laptop or one of their computers? Or is the problem with the mobile’s reception or that you also have to speak to the dictators (“I’m sorry, can you repeat that?”) and would be too noisy?
Sorry if this is just more unsolicited and unhelpful non-advice.
Incidentally it’s a shame you can’t check your mail because I think I’ve gotten to the bottom of why BT hate you so much.
ROTFLMAO!!!!
.
.
.
ROTFLMAO!!
.
.
Oh. Em. Jee. I haven’t giggled like that in too long. I do believe Doanli might be on to something there.
Just to commiserate with you: Suddenlink, which is the only cable game in town and they know it, routinely drops the broadband signal to my Surfboard modem. See, I never rent their modems, though they often try to pin their incompetence on my nearly new, superior hardware.
I learned long ago that the best, least homicide-inducing method of getting back online is to just reboot the modem. Of course, in your case, you can’t reboot if you can never boot.
I know, I know, you really can no longer tolerate suggestions that suggest you haven’t tried EVerything. Which honest, I’m not doing. It’s just that “cancelling” is so counter-intuitive, that it never occurs to me until I really do want to cancel.
Every time I’ve done that, they miraculously fix it. And then I no longer need to cancel.
In your case, I, too, would be skeptical. Hmmm… strike all of that. Never mind. Here’s some mental clorox:
Sunny. Maggie. Sunny. Stonebow. Taco Bell. Guns. Taco Bell. Rupert Not-His-Real-Name naked in bed with you, being your sex slave in a sweetly vulnerable and loving way. Post-coital Taco Bell.
Did I say that out loud? *blush* (Did it work?)
This is going to blind you with rage.
I’d be willing to bet that the modems are perfectly fine and its a tiny, minor, REALLY obvious problem that BT’s overlooked multiple times.
Good Lord! Hollowpoint, Sears Poncho, Rich Jordan, and Sean have all beaten me to what, on my part, will now more closely resemble a helpless flail than a punch! (And Rich did it with poetry — effing brilliant!)
We have a Cayman DSL box here as well, which requires filters for all the phones and a near-religious booting ritual that must be performed after any interruption of the power supply. The tech set it up for us, but I have since learned some of the mysteries — settings for the Cayman, and settings for the Linksys hub and desktop that are plugged thereinto — so that I can make shit go again if shit gets effed up :).
Ennyhoo, your predicament, especially since both bloody minded modi are doing the same damned thing, sure sounds like a settings issue.
You need a real, live geek — make them give you it!
No.
That might be helpful with cable broadband, but with DSL the MAC address / serial number of the modem is irrelevant.
No changes are necessary by a DSL provider when a customer changes modems. So long as it’s a compatible modem that’s configured properly, any modem should work with no changes required by the ISP.
Ah, yes, Strongbow! I brought one of those two liter fountains of goodness home with me on my second-to-last visits to London. If you like that, be sure and order a scrumpy cider the next time you go to the local pub. Be warned that they’ll only allow you two… and you’ll still need a seatbelt on your barstool.
The only time I ever got real, I mean real satisfaction was dealing with (now defunct) the old Michigan Nation Banking system:
Decades ago, before debit cards, MNB issued a card that could be used in one of those newfangled machines that they placed all over the state (on land that they leased from companies that were owned by the CEO’s son, if I remember right. Bud Stoddard I think was the CEO. May he rot…) that you could go up and actually GET CASH.
What a concept!
They worked, except on weekends. Curious, I started keeping my checkbook close at hand to write a check on the weekends at the local store.
It was like friggin clockwork; 8PM on Friday, all the ATM’s down. Not just one that may have run out of cash, rather all of them in SE Michigan.
Finally, one afternoon I’d had enough. ATM down, I walk into the main branch, ask to see the person that’s the rep for the ATM system. Walk over to her desk, ask for a pair of sissors.
Said “Watch real close”, and proceeded to cut the ATM card into real little bits. Dropped the sissors on her desk and calmly mentioned that when MNB stopped fucking with people, I’d consider an ATM card again, and she should place the shreds and sissors in an envelope, interoffice them to the CEO and tell him that I told her that he could stuff the shreds and sissors up his rear.
Within about a month, I got to talking to an ex-MNB employee to told me that the bank would routinely take the ATM network down, to do a batch process on Fridays. Nice customer service you pricks.
Another employee, when I mentioned to her what I’d done got real wide eyed, and blurted “Your the one”. Evidently the main branch manager did send an inter-office (not the card or sissors though) somewhere up the chain. Got a bunch of people upset.
God, that felt good. Memo and all.
Could you just write “Rupert (NHRN)” like the “PBUH” appended to the profit’s name (yes, I DO know how to spell, thank you very much!)
I’m all about saving the keystrokes doncha know!
Yep, it sounds like it’s not a problem with either modem, but rather a problem with their settings. Keep bugging them! Don’t let them get away with it.
With your description and that shape, I’m surprised it doesn’t have “Face toward enemy” stamped on it.
I agree with those who say it’s an authentication problem. If you can get someone knowledgeable on the phone, they should be able to fix it from their offices. You just need to push this upwards until you get someone who knows what they’re doing. I would bet my paycheck your modem is fine.
You didn’t say….do both modems exhibit the same symptom (solid orange light)?
And I hate hate hate lazy technicians who blame it on the modem because they are too lazy to work through the problem. Infuriates me.
The worst thing about companies like that is that you need them more than they need you. At the end of the day, they don’t actually give a toss and it reflects in their service.
Fuckers.
(Yes I have experienced your pain before).
Hollowpoint and others beat me to the tech talk. BT’s server is not “seeing” your modem for some reason. There’s apparently nothing wrong with the modem itself, and if it can see the server it’s likely all server-end SNAFU and not a line problem. Get ahold of the REAL tech team and they can likely clear it up at their end.
Your techs are probably being paid flat-rate by the job/call and using their own cell phones to boot. Calling in and taking the time to clear up the problem would cost them. So they give you a BS (BT) excuse and punt it on to the next flat-rate sucker.
I hate to say nice things about ANY provider, but I had to install a new cable modem for a relative recently when theirs went Toes Up. Hooked it up, wrote down the MAC # and serial # and got ready to do that hold & pray phone thing with Cox tech…doublecheck first before calling to make sure the computer “sees” the modem and the fault is not in the NIC card or anything…poke the modem via the NIC…and the thing logged itself directly on to the Cox server (which asked for confirmation account info) and registered itself. Up and running in a flash.
I was stunned.
Oh. Lordy – what an update.
Wait…BT – a legendary monument to ineptness and incompetence has shareholders?? Just wow. That floors me.
I can just imagine your rage when you saw the orange light of impotence.
Also given that, its no surprise they sell alcohol in their grocery stores and in 2 liter size varieties. Its clearly an absolute necessity in keeping one’s sanity and surviving such shenanigans.
What might be even more scary is the sheer amount of people on here who appear to have much more of a clue about what the issue might be with your modem/internet – than the people who are employed by BT! That’s testimonial for you.
Well, if it’s trying to authenticate, and can’t, it could be the same thing that happened when I first got DSL in my old house. Gotta make you jealous first, though – we walked into a phone store in the mall and bought the kit for it, same day – HA!
Anyway, before I am beaten to a pulp for that – We got the modem installed, put the filters on the lines (had to explain to my friend who was “helping” that the filter does NOT go on the jack that the modem is connected to), connected a computer to it, and… nothing. Pretty much the same as this, except a more primitive modem (10 years ago), and no wireless. After several calls, each more irate than the last, finally one of the network guys checked and found that one of the routers in the line between us and the office was not routing our traffic properly. He pushed through a change, and voila! Broadband!
Now you know why people aren’t allowed to own guns over there. It has saved the lives of many BT guys.
It’s not really uncommon. Internet providers have low-pay call centers and people who do support via script. Many of them probably aren’t technical at all. I did third-party corporate tech support, and often had to do an Internet provider’s support work for them to get customers trying to work from home connected so I could actually address their WORK support issue.
Back then (and maybe they have changed, based on Tully’s story), Cox (Cable) and Bell South (DSL)were some of the worst offenders. And I agree with whomever above said that PPPoE is evil. It just adds a layer of complexity unnecessarily. Most of our work-from-home customers had to use VPN to connect to their company networks, and back then, making that work over PPPoE could be a flat bitch.
Funny how many of us telecom people read Rachel’s blog. I was about to chime in that it sounded like a DSLAM or central office problem when y’all started talking about the fact that it likely wasn’t a modem or line problem. Any of you employees of the Death Star?
If it is authenticating, but never gives up, does that mean the servers never get a username and password (or similar info) from Rachel’s modem?
No “bad” password (or, no password at all) == EQUALS == no rejection (therefore, no red light)
Guess I’m wondering if the IP address or log-on info has been programmed into Rachel’s modem.
Try dealing with Telecom in Australia. you’ll look back on this stuff as the “good times”.
Kill my internet provider. Kill my internet provider. “C-I-L-L” Kill my internet provider. -Tyrone Greene
Rachel, I think I have your new blog subtitle:
“On a crusade to bring Hope/Change to British Telecom. Amongst other things.”
Damn you’re grumpy.
Runs away, screaming!
You need my help with the upgrade?
Hi Rachel,
1: Are there any Internet Cafes in your area? Is it possible for you to work from one? Or to at least upload and download files there?
2: Next time, get it in writing. Write down teh techs name, his employee number, the statement that he will be ordering a new modem, when it should arrive, and his signature.
3: Also get the number where you can call to follow up on the modem order.
4: Never let anoyone get off the phone with you unless they’ve done something concrete to make you happy. No “I’ll have someone call you back”, get the number, and get transferred right then. If they can’t do that, get their manager. Be a complete and utter pest. (Not a jerk, a pest.) Make it easier for them to get you what you want, than to blow you off.
Good luck!
Oh man, I need a 3 litre bottle of Strongbow Cider after reading your modem debacle.
This is probably why they have such restrictions on handguns in England; the temptation to go postal on BT employees would be overwhelming.
morning rachel
what normally works in a situation like this is an email to the CEO of the company involved, telling them how bad it is, and how you’re writing about the debacle on a blog that’s being read by X number of people…
here you go –
have fun now!
petsco
Yep… but I’m in the MPLS routing arena, not on the consumer edge part of the network. Working with the carrier guys makes my brain hurt.
Rachel, remember: there’s no problem that cannot be solved by the suitable application of high explosives.
Rachel: I’ve just read the update, and while I very much sympathize with you, you are providing me with much mirth. Don’t you feel better now?
Oh, and imagine how much mirth you’ll be spreading when you’ll get a bill for all the goodness BT has been granting you. I can’t wait. :-)
Hollowpoint: re the article, my favourite sentence would have to be:
Rach
As petsco says email the man. He has a reputation for “getting stuck in” when he’s made aware of problems like yours.
Hello Rachel
I think my daughter could have an answer for you. Can you contact us via my e-mail?
Kind regards
JJ (UK)
raises head above parapet
runs away
Here’s how my setup works. Modem must connect before the wireless so when I need to reboot, I unplug modem and wireless router. Wait for about a minute. Plug in modem. Let it do it’s flashing light thing. When broadband light comes on, plug in router. Wireless light comes on. Good luck.
Scott, I believe you. Atlantic Broadband did that to me for 4 months. There was a problem with THEIR line and apparently, only ONE tech, out of the whole place, could climb a ladder to fix it.
Four months of pure anger, or as Rachel says, “impotent rage” until they finally sent the one guy out.
Ironically, the DAY that guy came out, someone slipped a flyer under my door for satellite.
I had already called them to set me up. When the ONE tech who could climb a ladder came out, I told him to go home.
Called AB and canx the account the next day. A-holes!
Heh… some nights *I* could sure use something like Strongbow Cider to help me get through the dictation by the gum-smacking dickheads.
Wow, Rachel, sorry BT is so crappy. Yikes.
What socialized medicine giveth, BT taketh away.
Zero sum game.
double-clutch in process
That’s true. See…I would call that kind of support, NON-support, lol.
I’ve dealt with a lot of those types. I can’t say in my experience (outside of getting a password reset or something simple like that) I’ve actually gotten much support or resolution to my problem at all from the do-not-deviate-from-your-script call centers. Usually it takes going higher, in which case the support they are paying someone lower on the totem to give me has been rendered useless, by the fact they couldn’t resolve it and I had to go elsewhere.
Technical Advice
I have been using broken computers since 1965. I kid you not.
A. Find the PDF for the modem from the manufacturer:
1. On the modem it says something like “IBM F-16” or something similar as the name of the device. Assuming the company really is IBM and the model number actually is F-16, for example:
Google for “IBM F-16 manual site:ibm.com”.
It’s possible that the modem web site isn’t the obvious .com so look it up. If the modem would be a ‘AngliaTech MI5’, their website might be angliatech.co.uk, so the search would be
“angliatech mi5 manual site:angliatech.co.uk”
2. Read the awful PDF file, if you can find it.
3. Find the place where it tells you what the solid orange light is. I imagine it says “No internet connection” or “Your DSL is totally wrecked” or “The modem is connected to the power line, you dummy”.
You might have to study the manual and learn, for example, that the solid orange light can mean two different things depending on the flash dance of the blue light, or the phase of the moon. Whatever.
B. Call up BT and tell them all about this. That means tell them the solution and you might have to give them the URL of the manual.
Congratulations, you are now a technician.
C. Pray. You are a hillbilly, right?
No wonder there is a gun ban. The wrong person might just fuckin’ snap.
The Indian people are polite. I love polite people. The most frustrating circumstances seem so much better. Like that dude ripping that other dude’s ass in parliament the other day.
Anyway, if you can watch this, I hope it makes you . It won’t fix jackshit, but it might go well with a couple Strongbows.
“Have you unplugged your machine?”
I swear there must be call centers that specialize in giving that advice. There have been a few times that the rep on the other end had me go through that (before I learned to try that first. bright one, I am) and when I said it didn’t work, they transferred me. It made it seem like that was all the guy/gal was allowed to do and that’s what they did all day. It made it seem like anything beyond unplugging the machine required the next level of “IT”. Which, to finally make my point, seems like what BT is like. Like stories of people working where a really really bad union is in place that get fired for changing a fucking lightbulb in their work area.
FIRE!!!!
By the way, is the brand name on the modem “Lucas Industries plc”?
I agree with Locomotive Breath: imagine if your medical care was organized around the same principles as British Telecom (i.e., like the National Health Service). Here you are, on the phone, bleating to some guy in Bangalore, “Those new kidneys you put in me don’t work. In fact, they’re not even kidneys, they’re a couple of Bob Evans link sausages the surgeon didn’t finish at breakfast. Can you PLEASE make an appointment for me to have them replaced?”
That’s the glorious vision medical-czarina Hillary sees for us when the Democrats nationalize medical care entirely.
Gotta love those monopolies. And whatever idiot decided on using both red and orange lights when many people are colorblind to the difference (not meaning our beloved but beleagured hostess, but a large portion of the population can’t tell them apart).
BT purchased one of our equipment vendors here in the US, so I have had to deal with them on this side of the pond as well. They must give their employees an innoculation or something – the same techs I could rely on under previous management became instantly incompetent under the BT banner.
On the plus side, I do have almost fifteen gallons (US, not Imperial) of my own homemade hard cider on tap. And we just decomissioned all the the BT supported equipment. Yeah.
Er, guess which British Telecommunications company is contracted to provide about 20% on the NHS’s new, multi-billion, computer system.
Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?
{Scuttles off into the woods, giggling maniacally}
Now you know why people aren’t allowed to own guns over there.
Hee hee. Gussett.
Back then (and maybe they have changed, based on Tully’s story), Cox (Cable) and Bell South (DSL)were some of the worst offenders.
I can only speak for what I recently experienced with Cox Kansas. I have two cable modems in my house–the one that’s been in place and feeding the home net router for years and works just fine, thank you, and another for the telephone that according to Cox is supposed to be doing both jobs. But I didn’t want to re-wire the house for the new one (my housenet is mostly hardwired–yes, it’s that old–with a WAP tied in on one router port) so the second modem just has the phone. If they billed me rental on it I might consolidate the two into one, but they seem to have forgotten. (Shhh! Don’t tell!)
I used to work for AT&T (the cell end, but we did have 3G, godot save us) and can suggest some call center fu:
– Immediately but politely ask for a supervisor, explaining that you’ve called X times over the issue and had X techs out and X modems sent and after X weeks you are still unable to connect. Politely explain that you’ve talked to over ten reps and there has been no follow-thru X times. They will offer to help you as they can’t get a sup until they’ve offered to help several times.
– Get everyone’s name and number if possible and ask for a callback if you get disconnected. Tell the supervisor the issue again and ask how ‘we’ are going to solve it today. Confrontation makes many reps vindictive or stupid, so the royal ‘we’ is a way to trick them into caring. Yes, it works.
– Check and see if BT has a Twitter. Comcast has a guy whose job it is to check Twitter and fix things. From personal experience, I think he is the only person working at Comcast. My Google fu found a link where it worked for BT.
– Mention that you are having problems with your blog due to this continuing mess and mention how eleventy zillion subscribers are following the ongoing drama. BT obviously does not understand the internet so they might think of your readers as an angry mob with pitchforks. Wait….
– I find it useful to sacrifice a calculator to Teh Internet Gods as preventive medicine.
– See if you can get some short-term tranquilizers before you make the next call. I also recommend Doctor Beer.
You need a new tag:
British Telecom, WTF?!!
Rachel sed:
I smell a link… Betcha BT owns Strongbow!! Yep! Better than “two birds, one stone”, eh??
Heineken and Carlsberg own Strongbow, at a couple of corporate removes. Clearly the Dutch and the Danes know how to profit from the incompetence of others…provide alcohol!
No telecom company on this good earth is more vile, more worthless, more worthy of failure, bankruptcy and just plain destruction then Sprint
Contact names at BT?
If you get pissed off enough, you could demand to speak with . From a pay phone.
I wonder how many people with authority there have names like that?
You may be interested to know that BT used to be part of the post office. They were split off as a separate company so that they could become more efficient.
rachel,
hmmmm..i am posting this for my wife who is a regular reader of your posts and she was filling me in about your problem…she thought i might be able to help…believe it or not your problem may be very simple to resolve, at least hopefully…so i read your post about your problems with BT…the problem might be one of two things…just a thought on my part..since the users manual has instuctions for what to do based on the color and whether the light is flashing or soild…i would pretend the light is solid red since your manual has insructions for this and perform the manuals instructionas as if the light was solid red instead of solid orange..if that does not work i would pretend the solid orange light is actually a flashing orange light and perform the instructions in the manual for this situation. if neither of these two suggestions work i wonder if the problem might be caused by one of the phone lines in your flat that you mentioned do not work…they could be interfering with the performance of your modem…i used to work in the technolgy field and had to perform installations of hi tech equipment for my employer using vendors user manuals..in one case we had a manual from a vendor that had a couple of instuctions worded exactly the opposite way they should have been worded…we simply preformed the instuctions in reverse as if the manual was mistaken and this recolved our situation.. this is the reason i asked you to “pretend” the light is either another color(in this case red since the your light is solid and the maual has an instrucion for solid red) or pretend the light is falshing since the manual has instructions for an orange flashing light). you don’t have anyhting to lose..just give it a try..can’t be any worse off than you are now…in my case i was actually installing a modem that had several lines running from it to desk top computers…good luck…
jewells husband
jewells husband…
Rachel,
You may send me email if I can be of further assistance.
I doubt it… if they did, you couldn’t buy it at the store, you’d have to place an order it, pay 50 quid and wait three months for them to deliver it. And then you wouldn’t be able to get the cap off without the special tool that they didn’t (and won’t) supply.
Another thought…
You might want to treat the solid orange as if it were solid red and follow that part of the troubleshooting guide.
That’s not really a bad idea. If you assume that the majority of computer users are in no way tech savy and most of the times an issue can be fixed by unplugging/restarting and the non-tech savy don’t think to try this.
You get say 2-3 low paid people to handle the initial calls and suggest this option. Anything beyond this problem and they send it up to the real IT people. This frees up your IT people to handle the actual problems instead of the “Unplug/Replug” problems, so you don’t have to higher as many of them. And as long as your initial “stupid computer user” filter people don’t get paid as much you’ll probably be saving money by not paying your real IT guys to take the time to tell you to do something that should have been done in the first place.
As I understand it, the BT hubs are manufactured by the French company Thomson, who are not qualified to make toasters, let alone modems.
Maybe just run down the local equivalent of Staples, and
buy one that works?
But it could be faulty wiring too. May be more to that dead jack.
Yup. Exactly, buzzion. If it kept me off the ox cart and knowing one day I could save enough to buy a scooter, I’d take that job too. And some of the more viscious lefties still scream that capitalism is eeevil?
Now all of THIS is the kind of advice I do want/need. I really really appreciate the tech info and links and all that. I actually used some of it today while on the phone with BT.
Of course I still have no broadband but they have a specific “engineer” on the case. We’ll see.
More cider.
Did you ever get your internet running?
never mind the last. :) I posted comment then read… ooops!
Just FYI…. BEFORE you upgrade to 2.7.1 on WordPress..
BE SURE YOU DISABLE ALL PLUG INS!
Otherwise, you will be in for a massive butt hurt.
in a kind of way….
I’m going to guess (and this is only a guess because I don’t know how BT does their business) the problem is going to be a provisioning issue in the order system. This is exactly what happened to me. multiple orders getting crossed up in the system and multiple techs all working at cross-purposes causing even more pain. The eventual solution for me was a tier 3 tech wiping out all the orders and issuing a new order and him locking write access to the order slip so that only he could interact with it so that nobody else could screw it up until the order was completed correctly.
Uverse is unlike a conventional DSL modem in that it DOES care about the SN and MAC address of the router. AT&T had to replace a perfectly functional router because the order they ended up with was looking for a different MAC address. I don’t know if what you are getting as a conventional DSL setup or if it is some kind of video lashup like Uverse.
I haven’t said anything in a while and admit to not having read all the comments, my apologies if I am repeting a thought.
We laugh at poor Rachel, just wait till Obama et al take over US healthcare. See who is laughing then.
But at least they are polite about it, right mate.
Is this a bad time to tell you that BT is planning to raise their rates? I read about it in the Daily Mirror last week.
dmoss: Manufactured by “Thomson”. In France.
I always wondered what the French word was for “Lucas”.
Why do the Brits drink their beer warm? Because their fridges are made by LUCAS!
LUCAS makes electrical systems for lighting? Yeah, that’s why LUCAS is also known as the Prince of Darkness!
….
You know, I think I may have suffered from the largest brain-fart in recorded history. After all my ranting about that wonderful Brit institution called “Lucas Electric”, it JUST RIGHT NOW occurred to me that Lucas is also the name of someone closely related to this blog. I’m officially too dumb to live. Who’s got a rock I can hide under?
Ummm… Thanks, but I’m not into free verse.
Dear Ms. Lucas,
I’ve commented here before (but not recently). I am an expat Kiwi working in China at teaching English. I arived at my current place of work in August 2007, and the flat provided by the school had broadband installed- it was just a case of plugging in an Ethernet cable to my laptop and registering with the telecoms company (Great Wall Broadband).
However, I was using a white Apple Macbook, and the (Chinese) technician, even with the help of our then foreign liason officer, couldn’t figure out how to set up my Mac for the Internet. They suggested I install Windows XP on my computer (Macs can run both O/S’s now as though they were native), but cheap English-language non-pirated working copies of Windows XP are hard to find out here.
I was forced to either (a) go to local netbars (Internet cafes) or (b) local “coffee” houses- (these are really western-food restaurants that include coffee on the menu) with a WiFi connection.
In January 2008, I was cruising through a local computer mall, where I found a software vendor who spoke some English. He was able to order a special English-language non-pirated working edition of Windows XP that arrived a week later. I installed it, arranged for our foreign liason and a technician to visit, and it took 5 minutes for them to get me connected and for me to pay for a 6-month subscription.
When the time came to renew, the company sent around 2 representatives, I paid them, got a reciept, and was reconnected within the hour. China, by the way, is a Communist country that heavily censors the Internet, so there are problems with blocked sites and slow download times.
(Prior to this I was working at a school that provided me with an already-connected computer). I have not found it necessary at all to meditate on the mass-murder of telecom company support staff!
I relate this by way of a complete contrast to your own experience. Britain was once the capitalist nation par excellence, but now…
On a somewhat related topic, you mentioned your lack of desire to propagate- you might want to look up Mark Steyn on the subject of the demographic crash that is occuring among the native British and European populations, contrasted with the booming population growth (in both senses of the word) among the Moslem communities in Western countries- as Mr. Steyn put it, “Demography is Destiny”.
By way of a conclusion, I can only refer you to those fine British comedians, “Monty Python”, who were singing “Always Look on the Bright Side of Life”, even though they had just been crucified. (That’s in Monty Python’s “Life of Brian” by the way).
Hoping it all works out,
Cheers,
David White
(More fun than throwing a sack full of hippies down the stairs).
Rachel,
One last afterthought? In reading the comments on the BBC item that ChuckAtPodunkOutpost linked to, I thanked my lucky stars — for the gazillionth time — that we have a local ISP, instead of one of the big boys.
One mightn’t expect to find a small, local company providing broadband to a rural community, but there it is, and for one reason — Longwood University.
I know you feel rather heavily invested in BT at the moment, but you did say at one time that you’re in a college town — I wonder what ISP the University uses?
Rachel
Rupert made the first mistake – IF he “ordered” the phone and internet connection – by phone.
BIG mistake.
You need to get EVERYTHING in writing – start sending letters – even registered letters.
(Forgive me if someone else has suggested this up the comment thread – I’m in a hurry)
I think folks are hitting the nail on the head when it comes to the login credentials not being setup right, and here’s why (I’ve worked for an ISP for over 10 years, and we get the same run-around bullcrap from BT all the time):
When a BT engineer visits the premises to test a line, he does so with his own router. His own router is configured with a test account, and NOT your login credentials. So if there’s a problem with the login credentials, his router will not detect it. Ask the people at the call centre to perform a WOOSH test and specifially check for non-working login attempts, and point out that the router was supplied by BT and you are using the login credentials that they supplied.
It may also be that they have not configured the line correctly to connect to the correct service provider. In this case it would be a “VC (Virtual Circuit) fault”.
I posted this in a “techsupporthell” forum, and got 2 recommendations for alternative isp’s:
BT: Bovvered? Totally.
One of the more amusing things to happen to me recently was dining at an Indian restaurant, staffed, authentically enough, by (recently arrived) Indians. At the end of the meal, when I wanted to pay, I had to wait, because their computer/billing system was experiencing difficulties. Which enabled me to witness an Indian calling tech support.
OK, maybe it’s just me.
Oh dear unsuspecting Rachel.
Just wait till you try to cancel your contract inside the 12 months they force you into.
Suspend service? nope.
Cancel? Nope
Pay Off Contract? Nope.
They gave me ONE option. Stay in current residence, don’t cancel contract.
Problem: as I explained. My landlord was selling the residence, I had 2 months to vacate premises. They say tough. You have to stay. Like I’m gonna get taken to court over a flaming phone and internet package… when I was all in all, going to suspend service for at most. ONE MONTH.
I don’t know how you have kept it together. I would have definitely been down to the office of BT and urinated on numerous people.
Now I know where Monty Python developed their humor.
If you know anyone else in the building with a broadband connection try asking them if you can swap modems temporarily. If your modem works in their flat and theirs does not work in your flat, it at least gets you past the modem and re focused on what I suspect is the real cause, faulty telephone wiring.
I hope that helps.
Almost an aside, although in your original post…
I remained polite because the call center dudes were polite, painfully so. I’m sure they get screamed at a lot, and being that they’re in India and have nothing to do with my particular modem or the BT business model, I take it easy on them.
I totally hear you there.
I went into early retirement, in the spring of 2004, because Service Corporation International outsourced its’ entire IT division to InfoSys in India. I spent my last three months training a couple of Indians to take over my position.
I couldn’t even work up a good mad at them. They were among the nicest people I’ve ever met, hard working, and smart as Hell; the kind of people I love to work with.
On the other hand, regarding the CFO who dreamed up this idea: Expressing my feelings toward him, on the internet, would probably constitute a felony.
–
Folks, NOT EXACTLY.
While AT&T’s service attitude was pretty sucky, and much like BT’s for that matter, back before the breakup, they DID provide fairly reliable functionality, unlike BT. When you made a call, it went through. And it was rare that it got disconnected unexpectedly, if it stayed inside the USA. And when something went wrong, they did have someone out to fix it, though it might take a week, and, most critically, it got fixed The First Time, unlike Rachel’s endless problems… Since AT&T was merely a monopoly (rather than a government-owned and run monopoly), failing to fix things the first time did them no good because they had to pay the service people and that came out of their profits if the servicepeople went back a second time.
Looking back, if we’d had competition all along, we might well have had much more functionality, far more prompt service, and certainly a much better service attitude waaaay back when, but AT&T was far from the complete and utter FAIL that BT is managing to provide Rachel…
And, FWIW, AT&T’s service attitude is just as arrogant now as it was then.
Cingular was an ok company, as, for the most part, were the various independent baby-bells, but AT&T hasn’t changed one whit in 25 years. They STILL think they’re doing you a favor just to be in business. That’s one reason I wouldn’t even begin to consider an iPhone until they get them broken away from AT&T.
But make no mistake — AT&T, while they may take their time to get to you, WILL do the job the first time. Unlike BT, they DO have to operate by , so it costs them money to send someone out a second time, and that comes out of profits.
.
Paul, actually a lot of companies are backing out of that sort of arrangement, now, finding that it often doesn’t work as well as they’d hoped, that the job done isn’t done sufficiently that the customer stays even vaguely happy (while India HAS made substantial efforts to improve the level of English speakers for its service orgs, there are still notable comprehension issues due to general cultural differences).
There are a lot of companies not renewing those sorts of contracts.
You might look into consulting work in that regard, helping to re-set up call center procedures in the USA is probably a growth field.
Monkeyhumper:
I just took a look at that video. Indeed amusing, though it would have been even better with 1 or 2 Strongbows. But then again, what isn’t.
I don’t have anything worthwhile to add to that, but I can’t possibly pass up the opportunity to make the following statement: And what a masterful that was!
So, am I the 500th person to post
Due to circumstances without my control (my husband’s career), I had to live in England for four years. I started life as a nice and polite Swedish girl. I now have bitch factor 2000. I blame Britain.
A piece of practical advice: when dealing with British institutions and ‘service’ providers, don’t telephone, write letters. Telephone calls don’t count; letters do. (Or, if you wish, telephone and write a letter, but always, always write a letter.)
Always keep a hard copy of each letter (buy a folder for keeping the correspondence; hell, buy several – chances are you will need them); if you wish, send the letter by ‘registered mail’ (I don’t remember the exact terminology) and fix the receipt/proof thereof to your copy of the letter. Describe in each letter what has happened – or not happened – up until that point. Clearly state what you want to happen next. If either you or your husband has a title, shamelessly use it. (And I literally mean title; initials after name don’t count. A ‘Dr’ will afford a bit more respect; a mere ‘Ph.D.’ not so much.)
One of my brothers-in-law and his wife, who had worked in various parts of Africa, told us of the expression ‘TIA’ – This Is Africa, which is apparently what you say when something confusing, irrational, inexplicable, irritating, absurd, or plain dumb happens that you cannot really explain in any other way. Well, we took to saying ‘TIB’ – This Is Britain, or, in other words, it’s life, Jim, but not as we know it. It didn’t really help, but it did alleviate the pressure.
1. Yes, BT SUCK. I have to deal with them for work. I literally want to kill them with flames for their crimes.
2. Is the _only issue_ the problem with the modem? i.e. is the ADSL actually running on the line… if so… why don’t you just go to PC World and buy a broadband modem and set it up yourself?? I can tell you that BT’s kit is shoddy crap anyway… they like to randomly push out firmware updates without telling you, which sometimes get rid of features you might have been taking advantage of. Then you wonder why the hell nothing works.
… I realise this isn’t a tech support blog, but hell, tech support is my life, and I can’t help sticking my oar in.
Good luck getting BT to sort themselves out. I hate them too.
I once lived in Britain. Had a DSL modem from BT that only worked when the telephone was off the hook.
Yes really.
Took weeks for them to figure out.
I experienced your living hell which culminated after a marathon session beginning at 4pm and ending at 4pm while talking to “Roger”, “Rosemary”, “Andrew” and many other engineers in India who worked for BellSouth and also Linksys while my family cowered in their beds.
I was led thru the same playbook over and over again, I discovered that they were missing (1)one snippet of information which I found on the internet itself.
They omitted to tell me that I needed to change the default Protocol configuration for my Westell DSL modem from “PPPoE” to “Bridged Ethernet”.
Why am I telling you this, because if you have power surges, your modem may reset itself…
Paul-in-Houston, I think I used to work with you over on Allen Parkway circa 1996 or so.