Sigh. Again, imagine the press if Chimpstain Bush had done this.

Sorry, I can’t HELP but think that every time this doofus does .

The goods news out of London is that Barack Obama has reaffirmed America’s “special relationship” with the U.K. The bad news is that the “affinity and kinship” that the U.S. president spoke of apparently only extends to England.

…On Wednesday at a joint conference with Prime Minister Gordon Brown, Mr. Obama made a pass at acknowledging the special relationship. Unfortunately, he inadvertently broke a cardinal protocol by at one stage using England to denote U.K.

“We owe so much to England; that when you come here there’s that sense of familiarity, as well as difference, that makes it just a special place,” he said, leaving Wales, Northern Ireland and Mr. Brown’s home country of Scotland out in the cold.

Criminy shits. From what I have gathered in my almost-7 weeks here, that whole England/UK/Britain thing is kind of a big deal, particularly to those NOT English. But oh, haha, it was just a minor gaffe, hahaha. Yup, that’s exactly what they’d say if Dubya McChimpers Redneck Monkeyboy had made the same mistake.

And then President Christ Superstar the Queen of England an Ipod. I’m not sure how lame that is, gonna go with 7 out of 10 lame, maybe?

See, I’m actually kind of torn about this. The Queen’s gift to him was a framed photo of herself, which is apparently the standard gift she gives all visiting dignitaries. So I’m just saying, if she has to put no thought whatsoever into her gift, why should Obama? Let’s be fair here, Hillbillies. Let’s be fair.

Frankly I’m torn about the whole Queen issue in general. On the one hand, she seems like a lovely, classy, decent woman who is a worthy representative of Great Britain. I’ve watched a bunch of documentaries about her and truly, she seems of solid character. I’ve no beef with the lady personally.

On the other hand, it’s 2009, and the very existence of a Queen is preposterous. I know it’s my American-ness talking here, but the idea of being the “subject” of a “sovereign” who has that position for no reason other than birth, is unacceptable to me. I find it to be genuinely ridiculous.

On the OTHER hand, whatever. If the Brits want their Queen, they should have their Queen and it’s none of my business. And I don’t blame them for expecting their Queen to be treated with all the proper protocol and respect; if you’re not going to do that, why bother calling her Queen, for pete’s sake?

In that vein, heh, allegedly, Michelle Obama failed to deliver the standard curtsy to the Queen, and some of the Brit sites I’ve read today are calling her out on it. Which is funny when it’s limited to calling Mrs. Obama a couthless hillbilly (because you can just IMAGINE what all the papers on the planet would have called Laura Bush for the same faux pas), but not so funny when the comments devolve into, “Well what do you expect from an American. They don’t have the same manners we do. Most of them probably don’t even know what a curtsy is. Blah blah I’m an arrogant shit.”

Well, like I said, if any of us don’t know what a curtsy is, it’s because we don’t need to. Because we don’t have “nobility” and “royals” or anyone else we’re expected to curtsy or bow to simply because of who spawned them. So cram it.

But! Again! I do think that if you’re going to meet the Queen of England, you should follow protocol, and I don’t care what all cowboy bravado I yak about here, if I met her, I would curtsy to her in a heartbeat. Just because. And, we have the same birthday.

By the way, Obama a huge hit with everyone over here:

Allegedly the most charismatic politician in the world, Mr Obama was a disappointment. It sounded as though he had a blocked nose and so his lack of energy may have been a symptom of a cold. Jet lag, too. He probably wished he could have stayed in bed.

He spoke slowly, in a meandering manner. Some might say that he was thoughtful and professorial. Others might call his manner circuitous, even yarny. Am I saying that he was a bore? Oh dear. I find that I possibly am.

But then that writer ruins it by saying at least Obama won’t blow up any foreign capitals (like, I’m guessing, Chimpy did). Bore, indeed. And get this:

Then there were the bodyguards. The US of A guys have buttons in their lapels and scowl at the world in a quite unnecessary fashion. One is tempted to go up to them and tickle their armpits, just to see if they might smile.

I’d stifle that temptation if I were you, Mr. Cheeky.

But then we go back to Obama:

Now [Brown] placed his hands behind his back and bounced a half inch or so on the balls of his feet, relishing the sound of Solomon Obama’s replies to a few questions from the Press.

Those replies were, as I say, on the chewy side and came out at the speed of an action replay on Match of the Day. So slow, in fact, that at one point a man from the Guardian dropped his tape recorder on the floor. Mr Obama’s best moment was when he was charming about the Queen.

Our old donkey Gordon, by comparison to this American visitor, was for once Mr Eloquent, Mr Quick-Off-The-Mark. Mr Obama had managed to make Mr Brown look good. Another amazing achievement.

I love/hate whoever wrote that article.

81 Comments


-Comments do not necessarily reflect the views of the blog owner.
  1. Peregrine John Says:


    One is tempted to go up to them and tickle their armpits, just to see if they might smile.

    I’d stifle that temptation if I were you, Mr. Cheeky.

    I would pay to see the video of that, and its immediate aftermath.

  2. Says:

    Maybe we could get the Secret Service guys and the Buckingham Place guard to just stare at each other for hours, just to see who blinks first.

  3. Says:

    From what I have gathered in my almost-7 weeks here, that whole England/UK/Britain thing is kind of a big deal, particularly to those NOT English.

    Damn straight. And you do not want to call someone from Scotland or Ireland “English.” Ever.

    The Obamas continue to display ignorance of (or is it indifference to?) diplomatic protocol, and the press continues to give them a pass for their tackiness. It’s going to be a looonnnng four years.

  4. Valerie Says:

    WHO doesn’t KNOW that you curtsy before QElizabeth? WHO?

    That michelle is one angry woman. Her lack of courtesy/curtsy was deliberate, I am convinced.

  5. Says:

    Here’s the “protocol” that I like to follow. Let’s say there’s a friend of a friend of mine to whom’s party I’m lucky to be invited. I’ve been brought up to not go empty-handed to people’s doings, especially when I’ll be fed and watered, so I ask friend what the host likes; would a bottle of wine be a good gift (an offense if they’re non-drinkers, or against drinking), bundle of cigars, or a case of beer, bag of chips, and bottle of dip? Maybe he golfs; then a small box of high quality golf balls.

    It would be a bit different if we had backwoods folk in there, but aren’t the Obamas supposed to be the new Jack & Jackie, the pinnacle of refinement? An iPod for the Queen, a person who hears live music being played wherever she goes; oh, my. May as well give her a Chia Pet.

  6. The Bronx girl Says:

    Hopey One Kenobi will do better once he’s rested up and fires up his teleprompter. These are not the gaffes you’re looking for. You are impressed by me! (everyone blinks slowly then shuffles away)

  7. Amelia in Tx Says:

    Unfortunately, he inadvertently broke a cardinal protocol by at one stage using England to denote U.K.

    Sheesh. No matter how insignificant and trivial a detail it may seem to outsiders, correct names MATTER to people. It really does make a difference when someone takes the trouble to learn the right name to call you by - AND how to pronounce it. My maiden name was Abercrombie. It used to bug the crap out of me when people who knew me said Ambercombie.

    I do think that if you’re going to meet the Queen of England, you should follow protocol.

    Maybe Michelle never learned how to curtsy. (Not that it’s difficult. I learned how to curtsy when I was 5, for a piano recital.) But if she didn’t curtsy, what did she do? Bow? Extend a hand? Nothing at all?

    WHO doesn’t KNOW that you curtsy before QElizabeth? WHO?

    *timidly raises hand*
    I didn’t know, although once I was in her presence it might have struck me as appropriate. But definitely if I knew I was going to meet her I’d sure as hell be asking people “Is there anything special I need to know? Need to do? Need to NOT do?”

  8. Paul Says:

    To be fair to M’Chell, first (Klingon) Lady, she’s not required to curtsy to the Queen. Protocol does not require a visiting head of state (or spouse) to bow or curtsy, the WSJ has it wrong.

    That said, Barry should have gotten the Queen a Nintendo, not an iPod. It’s common knowledge about the Royal Wii, isn’t it?

  9. Mrs. Hill Says:

    Those replies were, as I say, on the chewy side and came out at the speed of an action replay on Match of the Day. So slow, in fact, that at one point a man from the Guardian dropped his tape recorder on the floor.

    That’s his way of simultaneously limiting the number of questions whilst hopelessly obfuscating whatever meaning might be buried in the answers he does give!

  10. BJM Says:

    Holy Humping Ho’s Batman! Did you catch the The First Klingon wore? Set the style? SET THE STYLE MY ASS!!!

    I’ve seen better put together outfits at the Piggy Wiggly.

    We’ve brilliant designers yet Michelle Obama looks either like a catalog factory explosion or a MTM wanna-bee who dressed in the dark.

    Hahahaha! Shades of Bridget Jones?! Obama and the Magic Pants?! You can’t make this shit up.

  11. Alcibiades Says:

    Serious about the iPod? This isn’t an April Fools Joke?

    Nobody could be stupid enough to give a set of DVDs, receive public criticism, and then give a freakin’ iPod to the Queen of England.

    World leaders now wish John McCain were President: he’d probably give better presents.

    Edit: Hey, I just had a thought: will that iPod charge on the UK’s 220 volt power grid?

  12. Says:

    (because you can just IMAGINE what all the papers on the planet would have called Laura Bush for the same faux pas)

    Except I don’t believe a faux pas would ever have happened in the first place. Laura was/is a classy, nice, pleasant lady. Emphasis on lady. She would have already known, or at least thought to ask, about protocols ahead of time.

  13. Says:

    The US Gummint’s continuing tard-o-rama. Rachl, youm wanna be Secetarzy from Staight?

  14. Says:

    For many of us the Queen represents what is left of the best of Britain…not the tree hugging one world socialist shits that presently lord it over us.

  15. chickia Says:

    I continue to be amazed at how people say Obama is such a great speaker!?! All I hear is ur’s & um’s and disjointed crap coming out of his mouth. OK I couldn’t listen to Bush for more than 30 seconds without cringing but Obama is no GREAT ORATOR.

    And just last night I was reading about JFK’s famous civil rights address on TV — the speechwriter had 6 hours to write it, gave it to JFK 5 MINUTES before live TV airtime, AND it wasn’t even quite finished so he had to improvise at the end. And it was (IMO) his greatest speech, the most heartfelt, moving, and the least politically calculated (unlike the rest of his presidency). Now that’s impressive.

    Yeah, Obama is SO MUCH like JFK huh? Couldn’t order fries without a teleprompter . . .

  16. hindmost Says:

    Dang, BJM, them’s some scary pics. I’d also say First Lady Worf either bought 2 sizes too small or has been hitting the All-You-Can-Eat gahk Bar instead of making it to Bat’leth practice.

  17. Mrs. Hill Says:

    The curtsey was actually optional — Laura Bush didn’t curtsey when she received the Queen at the White House — but it seems to me that, as a guest of the Queen in the UK, Michelle might have wanted to observe the local customs!

    That “England” faux pas, on the other hand — yeesh!

  18. Says:

    Rachel,

    When i was in Scotland some years back, I went into one of their museums and saw pictures of a winsome young lass sporting what looked like a tiara on her head, visiting the British troops/sailors in the field (more or less; no front lines). It was the current Queen Elizabeth. So the class has always been there.

    Sure, I find the idea of a monarchy, even a limited one, somewhat silly. But it’s their country, so God Save the Queen and all.

    Obama once again acts like a never-had-a-job-in-his-life-until-two-months-ago doofus. And people find this surprising? Crikey, I’m more surprised when he manages to do something correct, which means that I’m doomed to a life of sheer predictability these next four years.

  19. Says:

    Damn straight. And you do not want to call someone from Scotland or Ireland “English.” Ever.

    For the record, the Scots don’t particularly like being called British either.

  20. David Krumm Says:

    Michelle Obama failed to deliver the standard curtsy to the Queen

    Can you picture what Hillary would have done had we elected her? Kicked the queen in the shins I expect.

    Here’s what I think about bowing to royalty: if you want me to do it because that’s their royalty and it’s polite, OK. If you want me to do it because it’s my royalty and I have to there’s gonna be bloodshed.

    “The US of A guys have buttons in their lapels and scowl at the world in a quite unnecessary fashion.”

    I agree with nightfly guards scowl, it’s what they do. Well sometimes they beat you up or shoot you, but you can probably avoid that with UK and US guards.

    Royal Wii

    Groan, classic! :-)

  21. MJH Says:

    If the ipod had been loaded with something interesting, it would have been perfect. I would at least find the ipod somewhat entertaining while suffering through Obama’s presence.

  22. wellnow Says:

    Obama is a true embarassment. When he revealed that he doesn’t know how many states are in the United States of America, I knew he would be a real whiz at international knowledge. United Kingdom or England, so insignificant to him. I wonder what he will do with Holland, Netherlands? As to the gifts, I suggest a George Foreman grill. When I worked for IBM and met with peers and clients from around the world, I always took the time to read some history, and to understand the geography and current political situation of their home countries. It is just common courtesy and kindness. Doesn’t he have people to coach and inform him?

  23. Says:

    I don’t believe Americans are expected to curtsy to anybody. Only British subjects are.

    Remember when there was a huge fuss made when Reagan’s chief protocol lady curtsied to the Queen?

  24. RW Donn Says:

    Since there are no longer any legitimate newspapers in AnglolandUK, but all a kind of “tabloid” journalism, there’s no need to consider anything they say as anything more than fluffbullshititis. Assume they are a kind of “koontsy/whiney/beechie approach to something that resembles journalism. But, not really. One should never assume these kind of statements or criticisms mean anything, other than to line the litter pan or bird cage. If it wouldn’t leave ink on your bottom, you could use it as spare toilet paper.

  25. RW Donn Says:

    Oh, and just reach out your right paw and offer a good, solid TEXAS style handshake to the little lady queen of AngloLandUK. The kind you’d use to prime the pump!

  26. Caroline Says:

    May as well give her a Chia Pet.

    One of

  27. Brooke Campbell Says:

    American women don’t have to curtsey to the Queen - but are free to do so.

    With my lack of grace, I’d probably not opt to. Because that would be the faux pas of faux pas, somehow managing to tackle HRH.

  28. Brooke Campbell Says:

    Oh, and am I allowed to point out the irony about how everyone was saying Laura Bush would NEVER not curtsey for the queen….and yet she didn’t? Funny.

  29. Michael in CT Says:

    One would think that the President of the United States could manage to give better gifts that what can be picked up at the local Wal Mart or Target. I think whoever the Head of Gift Giving is, should be tossed under the bus.

  30. GC Says:

    PLUS he SHOOK HER HAND. He gave her an iPod & then SHOOK HER HAND with BOTH OF HIS. Big ol’ Royal No No. Which he’d know if he’d read anything about Visits to Royals. (The signed chingaderra makes up for oh… a little bit. But oops! another gaffe.)

    And can I just say how happy I am you’re there for all this???? Because I am a really REALLY selfish asshole.

  31. Bad Penny Says:

    No matter how insignificant and trivial a detail it may seem to outsiders, correct names MATTER to people.

    I was never particularly fond of Bush pere, but I always loved how he (deliberately) mispronounded Saddam’s name. SADum Hoosane. Brilliant.

  32. Rob Farrington Says:

    If I remember rightly, Cherie Blair didn’t bother curtseying, either…

  33. Ophir Says:

    The Queen’s gift to him was a framed photo of herself, which is apparently the standard gift she gives all visiting dignitaries.

    I’m sure Obama appreciated the vanity. Perhaps he’ll adopt the custom.

  34. TexMex Says:

    Heh, glad he only shook her hand. God forbid the international ruckus he would’ve caused had he said “hey, shortie!” and proceeded to tap her on the bum.

  35. Says:

    Criminy shits. From what I have gathered in my almost-7 weeks here, that whole England/UK/Britain thing is kind of a big deal, particularly to those NOT English.

    It’s a pretty big deal to those who are English too. My ex-roommate (he actually got deported last month, funny story) would always correct me when I used “England” or “Britain” to refer to the United Kingdom as a whole.

    See, I’m actually kind of torn about this. The Queen’s gift to him was a framed photo of herself, which is apparently the standard gift she gives all visiting dignitaries. So I’m just saying, if she has to put no thought whatsoever into her gift, why should Obama? Let’s be fair here, Hillbillies. Let’s be fair.

    Even if we are being fair, that doesn’t exactly excuse Obama’s laziness (or possibly Obama’s wife’s laziness, if some reports are to be believed).

    A framed and signed photo of the Queen of Bloody England is at least a significant gift, if not a thoughtful one. It’s the kind of gift you can put on your shelf and show off to people, sort of the political equivalent of a baseball signed by the Yankees.

    But an iPod? Come on, man. You can pick an iPod up at literally any Mac-licensed store in the entire world. Something I’m sure the Queen is well aware of considering she already has one.

    On the other hand, it’s 2009, and the very existence of a Queen is preposterous. I know it’s my American-ness talking here, but the idea of being the “subject” of a “sovereign” who has that position for no reason other than birth, is unacceptable to me. I find it to be genuinely ridiculous.

    I think the day when politicians in the UK start to seriously consider permanently dissolving the monarchy we’ll know that the nation formerly known as Great Britain has officially passed the point of no return.

  36. Says:

    Everyone knows you are supposed to curtsy to the Queen. Not everyone does it. I fell in love with Brit actor Alan Rickman (Snape) when he told a story of how he and Kate Winslet were standing in line to meet the Queen. As their turn was coming, Rickman hissed at Winslet that he would murder her if she curtsied.

  37. Says:

    The .gov has a whole bunch of people whose entire job is protocol; pick a country/nation/religion/whatever and there’ll be somebody who can tell you every detail of what’s right, what’s wrong, what’s polite and so forth. I guarantee a bunch of them are either drinking heavily or crying because they’re either not being consulted on matters, or they’re being ignored.

    Some of it, like Mrs. Obama’s actions, may well be deliberate: she almost seems to have something personal against the Brits. But you know what? Adults put their personal vanities and grudges aside when they have a job to do; that these people seem unable to is or is going to be a BIG damn problem.

  38. Paul Says:

    President Obamateur was thoughtful enough to on HRH’s iPod.

    Barry’s all class, all the time. Low class.

  39. Brooke Campbell Says:

    I don’t get it. She’s either damned if she curtseys or damned if she doesn’t.

    And what I really don’t get is that a lot of the time I hear that we shouldn’t care what people outside of the U.S. think of us….so why does anyone care whether or not Michelle Obama curtsied to the queen?

  40. Says:

    Because when you go to another country to meet the bigshots of their government, we do expect you to behave in a proper manner. Big difference between that and expecting people to change their thoughts and actions because “X will like us better if you do.”

  41. Brooke Campbell Says:

    Seriously, she could have curtsied or not. Either action was acceptable, ergo whether or not she did doesn’t matter.

    I kind of get the impression that if she had curtsied, there would have been criticism that she was bowing to the monarchy.

  42. Says:

    Not from me.

    Some of the other stuff? An IPOD, for God’s sake? And calling all the people of the British Isles English? Even a dumb Okie like me knows better than that.

  43. georgeh Says:

    “On the other hand, it’s 2009, and the very existence of a Queen is preposterous.”

    The reason they still have a Queen/King, and a House of Lords for that matter, is that it works. It’s worked, more or less, for a thousand years. Every other country in Europe has had nothing but years of revolution and turmoil since abandoning their monarchies.

    Don’t fix it if it ain’t broke.

  44. Amelia in Tx Says:

    So what IS the appropriate non-specific home-identifying word to describe someone you know is from somewhere in the United Kingdom but you don’t know where, if “British” or “Brit” is not appreciated? “Citizen of the United Kingdom” is awfully cumbersome. I don’t think that “UK-er,” “UK-ite” or “UK-ish” are words.

  45. Says:

    I kind of get the impression that if she had curtsied, there would have been criticism that she was bowing to the monarchy.

    Nonsense. Curtsying when you visit the Queen of England is showing respect, not fealty (now if she had kissed the Queen’s hand, that would be different).

    That said, as Paul pointed out protocol apparently does not require visiting head of state (or spouse thereof) to bow/curtsy to the queen.

  46. anne Says:

    I don’t get it. She’s either damned if she curtseys or damned if she doesn’t.

    Kind of like every action Bush took during his presidency?

    Actually I don’t care if she curtsyed or not. I don’t like her (it’s difficult for me to like someone less than BHO, but Michelle manages that for me.) I’ll snipe at her just like the left sniped at the Bushes. Mature? Nah, but turnabout is fair play.

    There’s plenty to poke fun at the “words matter” President who misuses England/Britain/UK. The arrogance of giving a gift with his speeches loaded on it. The President / Sec of State who can’t get an accurate translation of “reset” when giving a gag gift to the Russians. The President who campaigned on the repairing the US image after all the bumbling of Chimpy McBusHitler, can’t even listen to the office of protocol and give reasonable gifts (and if the office of protocol thinks these are good gifts - then the President should fire them.)

    And I absolutely don’t get the fawning over her toned arms. Good God people.

  47. Monkeyhumper Says:

    Shit. Just because. Me too. Manners, respect + respect = manners xy bca + 4 xRachel Lucas’ opinion.

    Fuckin’ bitch cant do something ? Then FUCK HER! She is an ASSHOLE. Monarchy x 714 divided by 3 = RESPECT THE ROLE!

    Manners.

    A huge pet peeve of mine is when: (Answering a BUSINESS phone) “Good morning, ABC Company, this is Monkeyhumper, can I help you?”

    Gets this response (sometimes interrupted) “Yeah. Give me Dave.” And that happens more and more with every passing day.

    FUCK FUCK FUCK YOU! I identify myself when I am calling ANYONE. For whatever fucking reason. AND I have a fucking pen in hand to WRITE DOWN the person’s NAME on the other end of the fucking PHONE! So I can TALK to ANOTHER HUMAN BEING WITH ASSUMED RESPECT. Is that old school or do people just SUCK more nowadays?

  48. Pedro the Ignorant Says:

    Americans in the UK are usually not averse to showing their independence as a nation.
    Some years ago I attended the (outstanding) Edinburgh Military Tattoo, where the Queen was present.
    One of the invited groups was the US Marine Corps Honor Guard and their band.

    The Marines marched off the arena to the stirring sounds of “Battle Hymn of the Republic” :-)

  49. JackCoke Says:

    Aagh. I can’t believe that I’m going to say something mildly supportive of Michelle Obama, but I can’t take her to task for not rendering a curtsy to the Queen.

    That’s part of the benefit package that comes with winning the Revolutionary War, in my opinion. Be polite, be respectful, but treat the Queen as an equal.

    *As a side note, and to counter saying something mildly supportive of Michelle Obama, I must say that she looks like she’s probably smelly most of the time.

  50. naleta Says:

    To curtsy or not to curtsy. ‘Tis inevitable to suffer the slings and arrows of outraged critics no matter what one does. Not that I have any sympathy for Mrs O. I have disliked her ever since she declared that her hubby’s election was the first time in her life that she was proud of America. And she certainly has no respect for anyone other than herself. (I sometimes wonder about that, too!)

  51. Says:

    Amelia in Tx - “So what IS the appropriate non-specific home-identifying word to describe someone you know is from somewhere in the United Kingdom but you don’t know where, if ‘British’ or ‘Brit’ is not appreciated?”

    ‘British’ is the correct term. I’m a Scottish nationalist and, contrary to what someone said earlier, I’m not at all bothered if people call me ‘British’ because it’s geographically accurate, and would be even if Scotland was an independent country. I personally find the word ‘Brit’ intensely irritating, but again there would be nothing inaccurate about it. However I do strongly object to being called ‘English’ for the very simple reason that I’m not!

    There is the complicating factor of Northern Ireland which is not part of ‘Great Britain’, but can be considered part of ‘Britain’ in the sense that Britain is the accepted short name for the UK. Although of course in practice the nationalist community in NI do not accept that they are ‘British’ - that’s a subtle difference between Scottish and Irish nationalism.

  52. Paul Says:

    Amelia in Tx:’Brit’ is a perfectly acceptable way to refer to anyone from the UK if you have no idea which region (or country) they hail from. I’m English born and have never known anyone to be offended by being called a Brit first.

    Should you follow accept this as fact and still be beaten to a pulp, you can be sure you have just met an Australian or a Glaswegian. Good luck.

  53. Carol Says:

    To queen or not to queen: well, if you avoid inbreeding* which leads to problems like Prince Charles, would it really be all that bad? I will point out that having our country run by domestic “royalty”, i.e., graduates of Harvard and Yale, really isn’t working out so well lately.

    *Sure, QEII and Phillip are distant cousins, but neither one is a particularly handsome person nor really bright, so why take chances on all those Victorian recessives.

  54. Jon Says:

    Rachel–

    “Well, like I said, if any of us don’t know what a curtsy is, it’s because we don’t need to. Because we don’t have “nobility” and “royals” or anyone else we’re expected to curtsy or bow to simply because of who spawned them. So cram it.

    But! Again! I do think that if you’re going to meet the Queen of England, you should follow protocol, and I don’t care what all cowboy bravado I yak about here, if I met her, I would curtsy to her in a heartbeat. Just because. And, we have the same birthday.”

    I’ve been reading you a looooong time, like when you were on the blogroll at Blackfive, and this is your finest comic writing. ‘So cram it.’ You know, I just put in a 19-hour-day and I was laughing my ass off dead sober over that one.

    I hope you have some kind of plan to collate all this into a book. Or I will. Kick. Your. Ass.

  55. James Cloninger Says:

    I’m sure Obama appreciated the vanity. Perhaps he’ll adopt the custom.

    Well, he DID! After all, what was on the iPod? HIS SPEECHES!

    Jesus, can we do better than give Her Maj a fucking MIX TAPE?

  56. Monkeyhumper Says:

    JackCoke,

    Because Michelle Obama has gone on record (from the GLOBAL PULPIT with a GLOBAL MEGAPHONE) as being not proud to be American, I can’t grant the luxury of defending any of her positions. So I still say FUCK HER. First Lady? NO FUCKIN WAY. + She is an ASSHOLE with no manners to be respected during any type of state function.

    DVD’s? Seriously? And she let her HUSBAND do that? Let alone her HUSBAND the President of the United States of America? Wow. Stellar education. People should aspire to that?

    She is an ASSHOLE. And a rude fucking bitch.

    And smelly ALL OF THE TIME.

    Please rethink your position regarding Michelle Obama. Especially if you choose to defend her, ‘cuz she is a fucking CUNT.

  57. Subotai Bahadur Says:

    First, I will agree with Firehand; there is a State Department Office of Protocol in the White House itself. They have been handling the whole gift and receptions thing for two hundred years. They know what they are doing, and the only way that the ongoing fiascos have been occurring is because Hussein Pasha has been deliberately over-ruling them. This is a series of deliberate slights, which can be compared with the grovelling he has been doing to our enemies. Make whatever assumptions you want to make about our future with that information.

    As far as the curtseying is concerned, I am reminded of something on our side of the Atlantic. At the funeral for Ronald Reagan; Margaret, Baroness Thatcher curtsied to the coffin. She rendered Royal Honors to our President; the best President our country has had during my 6 decades of life. I noticed it [and so did the British press], and I was deeply touched by the act.

    Courtesy and protocol mean things. But then again, mutual respect is not something that the current occupant of the White House comprehends.

    Subotai Bahadur

  58. Mrs. Hill Says:

    Brooke Campbell Says:

    Oh, and am I allowed to point out the irony about how everyone was saying Laura Bush would NEVER not curtsey for the queen….and yet she didn’t? Funny.

    Nope :).

    As I pointed out in my earlier comment, Mrs. Bush was receiving the Queen at the White House — our soil, our rules. We will probably never know how she might have behaved had she been visiting Buckingham Palace — but we can guess ;).

  59. Tel Says:

    Not to get on etymological on everyone, but the word curtsy is actually derived from the word courtesy (I’m sure everyone knew that already), showing respect for royalty while in their court. Now, how well would it be received if someone didn’t offer the common courtesy of shaking the hand of our president when meeting him for the first time?

    Apparently a bow/curtsy is an optional thing for visiting dignitaries? In my book, just because you don’t have to TECHNICALLY doesn’t mean you shouldn’t.

  60. datou Says:

    Heh. Living in Asia I socialize with and meet Brits of all kinds. I always say “UK” when guessing where people are from in order to avoid calling a Scot an Irishman or Welshman or whatever. It IS a big deal. They will inexplicably kill each other over a frickin soccer match (that ends 0-0).

  61. Fotoz Says:

    When in Rome… Do as the British do.

  62. Burke Says:

    Whether or not she was supposed to curtsey, Michelle made an even greater blunder–according to the Daily Mail, SHE HUGGED THE QUEEN. No one is supposed to touch Her Majesty (which means Obama goofed when he shook hands with her, too).

    Being a gracious lady, the Queen briefly returned the hug, but everyone in the room was shocked. Have the Obamas fired all the protocol people?

  63. gd Says:

    chickia Says:

    Yeah, Obama is SO MUCH like JFK huh? Couldn’t order fries without a teleprompter . . .

    Serious commenting greatness. Heh.

  64. Schrodinger's Other Cat Says:

    Courtesy and protocol mean things. But then again, mutual respect is not something that the current occupant of the White House comprehends.

    I can’t quite describe how utterly ashamed and pissed off I am at the basic lack of comportment TOTUS gets away with. And the arrogant, ignorant behavior.
    Jeebus.
    I don’t care how stupid GW was purported to be, the man (and his wife) had class.
    And the whole world can weep at who we elected twice, but so help me G-d, I was grateful we had a big swinging d¡ck in the WH on 9/11.

  65. Rich Says:

    The word this morning is that the White House Office of Protocol has not, as yet, been staffed and that White House officials were unaware that the State Department Office of Protocol could have been consulted.

    That’s what happens when you hire amateurs who think they know it all.

  66. Amelia in Tx Says:

    Rich Says:

    The word this morning is that the White House Office of Protocol has not, as yet, been staffed and that White House officials were unaware that the State Department Office of Protocol could have been consulted.

    That’s what happens when you hire amateurs who think they know it all.

    *jaw drops*
    Amateur is right!
    :S

  67. Kelly Says:

    Michelle’s muscular thighs and calves don’t allow no steenkin’ effeminate curtsy. So, deal with it, “subjects.”

  68. Kelly Says:

    Pedro the Ignorant, The USMC band should have played the “Liberty Bell March” Just to show our love of things British. (If ya don’t get the reference, I’ll be more than happy to show how extremely intelligent I am.)
    ;-)

  69. Joe Says:

    The Queen of England is a genuinely stupid, dull, trite person. Given her dullard ancestry, this is on great surprise. She is the argument for getting rid of the monarchy. Hopefully, that’s exactly what her grandson will do.

  70. Says:

    The brits will never get rid of their monarchy. It would be like us getting rid of Hollywood.

    I’m with you on this Rachel … when in Rome, etc. You’re the leader of the free world? Take some time to learn about the rest of that free world before you traipse around it making an ass of yourself.

    This ain’t Chicago, B …

  71. Says:

    I agree about Obama’s speaking voice: he either drones monotonously, or he yelps in that Billy Mays barking/yelling style. Either way, he’s a pain in the butt to listen to.

  72. Says:

    For the record, the Scots don’t particularly like being called British either.

    So what do you call them? Eukayian? :)

  73. ChristaC Says:

    Well, I find it interesting that Michelle couldn’t curtsy to the Queen, but Obama could BOW TO THE KING OF SAUDI ARABIA.

    And as far as gifts, here is what gifts were exchanged when the Queen visited the White House:

    The principals conducted a leader to leader gift exchange in the Red Room of the White House immediately after the arrival ceremony. President and Mrs. Bush gave Her Majesty a bronze statuette “High Desert Princess” with a personal inscription on the bottom of the base. It is a replica of the original life size statue that is located in front of the National Cowgirl Museum and Hall of Fame in Ft. Worth, Texas.

    President and Mrs. Bush gave The Prince Philip an exclusive sterling silver eagle box by Tiffany & Co. with personal inscription on the inside lid.

    President and Mrs. Bush gave Their Majesties a leather presentation box filled with a collection of documents from the National Archives. One of the items was a copy of an original letter from President Roosevelt to her father, King George, written in 1938. There were also photos from previous royal visits and a DVD of the footage from the Queen’s visit to the United States when she was Princess Elizabeth in 1951.

    Their Majesties gave President Bush a sterling silver oversized plate by William & Son with gold seals including: the Presidential seal, the Royal seal and a center seal with the star of Texas surrounded by roses. There was a personal inscription on the back of the plate. They gave Mrs. Bush a gold and crystal clock with the Royal seal by William & Son.

    The Office of the Chief of Protocol assists the President and First Lady in the selection and presentation of gifts to foreign leaders.

    Information from the Bush archives.

  74. Says:

    I am an American and I just wanted to sincerely apologize for anything that may have been done that upset the people in the United Kingdom.
    Our country admires and respects you as a friend and ally.
    (I think the Queen was lovely in pink!)

  75. jodie73 Says:

    I think protocol has changed that no-one now has to bow or curtsy if they choose not to, but may elect to. However, many in the U.K. still expect it and get offended if people don’t do it.

    As I understand it, American protocol actually states that “Americans bow to no-one”. It’s based on the “all men are created equal” philosophy that founded the country.

    I’m Australian and technically one of the Queen’s subjects, but I like the American attitude to that sort of thing.

  76. fargus Says:

    At future events, the tune “Hail to the Chief” shall be replaced with “Send in the Clowns”.

  77. Jim Becker Says:

    (first, I would like to say , I have read your blog for a long time now)

    I lived and worked in the UK for a total of 12 years. Loved it, by the way.
    I worked with English, Scots, Welsh, and Irish usually at the same time. I never had a problem using ‘Brit’. No matter what country I lived in, it was always common practice to learn their ways, keeps the ‘ugly American’ comments to a minimum. I am so embarrassed to be seen by any Brit right now. The official representative of my country is such a clod.

  78. Mark S. Says:

    Well, I find it interesting that Michelle couldn’t curtsy to the Queen, but Obama could BOW TO THE KING OF SAUDI ARABIA.

    Christa.. you hit the nail on the head… Heads of state (and their spouses).. do NOT bow/curtsey to one another.

    It’s much like how you don’t initiate a salute someone at or below your rank in the military.

    They (the Queen and President Obama) are considered equal ranks (Heads of state.. and one state may not consider itself above the other)… they don’t bow, they don’t curtsy, they don’t salute.

    As much as I despise DU.. they got a story right about Jacqueline Kennedy. She was told not to curtsy because she was the spouse of a head of state, to my knowledge that rule has never changed.

    That’s why when he bowed to the King of Saudi Arabia.. I was seeing red.

  79. Says:

    I think President Teleprompter bowing to King Fazool Fangool is perfectly appropriate since he went against the wish of a majority of the American people and completely banned all new domestic oil drilling. As a result, we will be dependent on His Royal Raghead for even more of our oil until such time as we are able to extract energy from rainbows and unicorn farts as per Obambi’s Magical Thinking Tour 10-year “Green” plan to make us energy independent — you know, like North Korea?

  80. James Cloninger Says:

    No one is supposed to touch Her Majesty (which means Obama goofed when he shook hands with her, too).

    Unless the Queen extended her hand first, then you can (gently!) grasp it…but she must offer her hand FIRST!

  81. Will_E Says:

    While I did NOT vote for Obama (nor ever would due to his supporting a racist church, his lying to the American people, and his supporting a domestic terrorist), I’m ashamed to see all the personal attacks on him and his wife here. Smelly? “CUNT”? Come on guys and gals, it’s those kind of personal attacks I expect from the left. Not from us!

    Do I think either of them is qualified to be in the White House? NO! But let’s attack them on their ideas and their actions, not race-based, personal attacks. We can do much better as they’re giving us the ammo to use every single day!

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