Rachel Lucas http://rachellucas.com Thu, 01 Nov 2007 18:57:31 +0000 http://backend.userland.com/rss092 en Do I need to take Sunny to West Virginia? Check it out: LEWISBURG, W.Va. (AP) _ A state agency is using a video camera and raw chicken to help determine whether the king of the jungle is prowling the woods in Greenbrier County. Bow hunter Jim Shortridge swears he saw a full-grown, male African lion weighing between 250 and 300 pounds ... http://rachellucas.com/?p=374 This might be why people start cutting themselves. I have an itch in the middle of my back, located within the ONE SQUARE INCH that I can't reach. It's been there all morning and I am ready to start killin'. Because this is the kind of itch that requires firm, intense, fingernail action. A pen ... http://rachellucas.com/?p=373 Sunny is seriously pissed off at this point. Also, full of treats. We've passed a threshold. As I pulled the elephant leg sleeves up her arms this evening, she didn't resist any more than Michael Moore resists a swimming pool full of sweet'n'sour chicken and fried rice. Because she knows that the end result is a momentary respite from otherwise ... http://rachellucas.com/?p=371 I was never scared of clowns before. Until I saw one who wanted to eat my liver. I will have you know. I went to PetSmart today and left with a bounty of low-fat (HAHAHA) treats in order to more humanely (and successfully) carry out my eeeevil Halloween dog-related tasks. She was getting bored ... http://rachellucas.com/?p=369 The saddest bee in the universe. Handful of pork-based edibles: 50 cents Kids' Halloween costume from the Goodwill store: $1.99 Doing this to an innocent dog: your soul Doing it anyway: PRICELESS (Posting it even though the whole world will see your white-trash fence-repair job: a great big set of balls) P.S. This is only Doggoween, Part ... http://rachellucas.com/?p=366 COOL. I'm a total geek for this kind of thing. Every show I can find on the Discovery Channel or the Science Channel that's about space/physics/the universe, it goes on my DVR. The last several books I read (although it's been a couple of years) were about quantum physics. ... http://rachellucas.com/?p=364 Who leaves their dog tied up alone on a street long enough for this to happen? [VERY IMPORTANTLY UPDATED BY AN IMPORTANT PERSON: ME] At first I was all, oh no they did NOT, when I saw this story and pic. Then I realized, WTF? Why would you leave your dog tied up on a public street - without checking on her - long enough for people to draw all over her? ... http://rachellucas.com/?p=362 Please. Reagan did it, to kill off the brown people. So they say (link fixed) the HIV virus came from Africa via a Haitian in the 60s? Nice try! We all know it was planted by The Man in 1981. WASHINGTON (Reuters) - The AIDS virus invaded the United States in about 1969 from Haiti, carried most ... http://rachellucas.com/?p=361 What I learned at my first Halloween party ever. 1. One must NEVER. EVER. IN. A. MILLION. YEARS. drink the following substances in the following order in a span of 8 hours: wine, orange vodka Jell-O shot, margarita, pink vodka Jell-O shot, Midori/whipped cream/god-knows-what-else cocktail, margarita, Midori/whipped cream/god-knows-what-else cocktail, margarita. 2. Particularly when all one had ... http://rachellucas.com/?p=360 I like paws. I get so busy telling you what I hate that I forget to tell you what I like. Which is dog paws. There's something about Sunny's paws, in particular, that just crack me up. She's pigeon-toed, for one thing, so her feet are always angled inward, giving ... http://rachellucas.com/?p=358