Eastwood ‘08!
Just the other day, Rupert mentioned the time he was visiting Carmel, CA, and saw Clint Eastwood driving around town in a beat up old pickup truck, and I said what a cool-ass mo-fackle I always suspected Eastwood was. Mo-fackle, by the way, is my street-slang version of one of the few curses I would never write on my site. Anyway, this morning like a roundhouse kick to a hippie’s chin.
I just might do what I said I’d never do this November, and that is to write in a candidate. EASTWOOD. Rowr!
On Spike Lee throwing hissy fits:
“He was complaining when I did Bird [the 1988 biopic of Charlie Parker]. Why would a white guy be doing that? I was the only guy who made it, that’s why. He could have gone ahead and made it. Instead he was making something else.”
Lee shouldn’t be demanding African-Americans in Eastwood’s next picture, either. Changeling is set in Los Angeles during the Depression, before the city’s make-up was changed by the large black influx. “What are you going to do, you gonna tell a fuckin’ story about that?” he growls. “Make it look like a commercial for an equal opportunity player? I’m not in that game.”
…“A guy like him should shut his face.”
I don’t think I’ll ever get over how completely awesome that quote is. I want to tattoo it on myself or rename one of my dogs with it. Who’s a good girl? Aguylikehimshouldshuthisface, that’s who. Yes she is!
On the Dirty Harry concept being called ‘fascist’ by a bunch of fuckin’ hippies:
“Being a contrary sort of person, I figured there had been enough politically correct crap going around.“
On the death penalty:
“Nowadays they’re sitting there worrying about how putting a needle in is a cruel and unusual punishment, the same needle you would have if you had a blood test.”
And the coolest shit I’ve ever seen in an interview:
In 2005, he vowed he’d kill Michael Moore if the documentarian ever showed up at his house, the way he had doorstepped Charlton Heston in Bowling for Columbine.
Clint, call me. We need to talk about all those babies me and my female readers are going to have for you. Frankly, I’m sure some of the guys are interested too.
Being male, I would most certainly have his children.
June 6th, 2008 at 10:33 amSadly, we cannot.
Goddamn biology, screwing us out of the deal.
June 6th, 2008 at 10:40 amI’ve always had a non-gay man crush on Clint. He sings purty too. He’s what, almost 80, and still looks like he could crush Spike Lee’s little head like a grapefruit.
June 6th, 2008 at 10:52 amI love Clint. He is the epitome cool
Just watch Heartbreak Ridge
June 6th, 2008 at 11:04 amoops…..epitome OF cool
June 6th, 2008 at 11:08 amHell yes! Sign me up.
June 6th, 2008 at 11:09 amI LOVE the quotes from the attached article:
Is he talking about Hussein Obama or Spike Lee?
My favorite Clint quote of all time from Magnum Force:
“A man’s got to know his limitations.”
Yep. I’d reverse my tubal for him.
June 6th, 2008 at 11:14 amI’ll be in my bunk!
June 6th, 2008 at 11:20 amWhat else could you want from a guy who co-starred with an Orangutan and broke out big by playing a guy named Rowdy?
My oldest daughter was ga-ga over him when she saw an old rerun of Rawhide a couple of years ago. “He’s HOT! Who is that?” She was equally repulsed when I showed her a more recent picture.
June 6th, 2008 at 11:24 amI’ve had a man crush on Clint since I was like 5 watching all his old Westerns.
If you open your dictionary to cool there is a picture of Mr. Eastwood.
If there isn’t throw it out, its crap.
June 6th, 2008 at 11:32 amDamn I wish he was running for president. I’d be voting for him in a heartbeat.
But I don’t think I would want to have his children, he has enough of them already : D
June 6th, 2008 at 11:33 amI’d pay good money to see Mr. Eastwood do what he promised to Mr. Moore. I’d also like to see Eastwood go all Dirty Harry on George Clooney too.
June 6th, 2008 at 11:41 amOr, I would vote for Bill W too. I mean, he already has the
Clint would so whip both Michael Moore and George Clooney, and he could take them both at the same time without even breaking a sweat.
June 6th, 2008 at 11:47 amI’d pay good money to see Mr. Eastwood crush Michael Moore under his heel like the maggot MM is.
June 6th, 2008 at 11:56 amI love Clint. He’s true to his principals (I don’t agree with him on everything, but I appreciate his integrity), and he’s so above all the B.S.
Clint in ‘08!
June 6th, 2008 at 11:59 amRachel - I’m thinking somewhere in there is a new banner.
I’ve never given Flag Day a real chance, but this June 14th, I think I’ll make it a Clint Eastwood Day. I’ll start with “Flags of our Fathers” and giggle like Michael Moore in Twinkie factory that Spike just got “owned”.
June 6th, 2008 at 12:02 pmSo who do you think would win in a Chuck Norris vs. Clint? I’m thinking Clint.
June 6th, 2008 at 12:19 pmClint - no disrespecting Chuck… but Clint just owns.
Yeah, he already has a helluva brood - not sure he’d want more.
June 6th, 2008 at 12:34 pmLets see; a Texas Cage Death Match Tag Team bout between Markos Moulitsas and Michael Moore in one corner and Clint Eastwood and Chuck Norris in the other. One fall, no time limit, last pair standing takes all.
Can I have the pop-corn concession?
otpu
June 6th, 2008 at 12:39 pmWe’ve all got it comin’, Kid.
Any man who could direct (and star in) both “Unforgiven” and “Space Cowboys” definitely has my vote.
June 6th, 2008 at 12:44 pmAnd don’t forget, he infiltrated Soviet Russia, stole that Mig right out from the Russkies’ noses, landed that puppy on a frickin’ glacier to refuel, and shot down the second Mig FROM IN FRONT OF IT. Holy crap.
June 6th, 2008 at 1:05 pmFrankly, I’ve been wanting Mr. Eastwood’s children since I was 11 and saw Hang ‘Em High one Saturday afternoon. I was smitten, still am. Damn.
June 6th, 2008 at 1:07 pmMr. Eastwood is definitely a product of his generation… and I mean that in a good way. We need more people like him in this world.
June 6th, 2008 at 1:28 pmOh Felicity, you’re my kind of girl!
June 6th, 2008 at 1:34 pmI won’t change my gender for Eastwood, but I’d be happy to date his daughters, specifically Kathyrn.
Oh yeah! B-)
June 6th, 2008 at 1:42 pmI’m all in, but I would have to ask him: Sondra Locke? WTH? Was she that good in the sack?
June 6th, 2008 at 2:00 pmThis USED to be the way men were, Rachel. They’ve practically been legislated out of existence. The last time we saw their type of character come to the surface (as reported by the news services) was during and in the days and weeks following 9/11. The firemen and policemen (yes, I said fireMEN and policeMEN) of New York.
Just remember, the city of Dirty Harry should officially be renamed San FranKornHole. You couldn’t film the Dirty Harry series in SFKH, now. It’s the City by the Gay. And, Dirty Harry’s partner would not be the likes of Tyne Daly. It would have to be a transgendered police officer. You know, a man who wanted to become a women so he/she/they could sleep with women as a surgically altered lesbian. Which brings its own confusion, given that all he/she/they had to do was . . .NOTHING! HE could have slept with a woman as a man!
And people wonder why the Islamists/Jihadists hate us! Go Figure! No, BenDover! THAT is more accurate!
June 6th, 2008 at 2:04 pmI’ve tried to find that video clip on the web where Clint threatens Michael Moore, but I couldn’t locate it.
I do remember seeing it when it was first in the news - it was on some show like Entertainment Tonight.
Anyway, (PARAPHRASING) Clint said “…and Michael Moore - if you ever try to step foot onto my driveway and ambush me like you did my friend Chuck Heston - I’ll kill you.”
Then the audience reacted with this low-toned nervous laughter…(surely this is a joke?, the audience were saying to themselves…)
But then Clint noticed that maybe there was a lack of clarity, and perhaps people were not taking him seriously - so he reaffirmed his position…
“I mean it - I WILL kill you.”
Then the camera panned to Michael Moore, with his eyes as big as saucers.
COOLEST. SHIT. EVER. ON TV.
And I’ve noted that Mr. Eastwood’s driveway to this day remains a Moore-free zone.
June 6th, 2008 at 2:13 pmTwo words
Kelly’s Heroes, one of the best WWII movies of all time! How can you go wrong with Clint, Telly Savalas, Donald Sutherland, and Don Rickles!
Clint is a god among men!
June 6th, 2008 at 2:24 pmKelly: Well Oddball, what do you think?
June 6th, 2008 at 2:29 pmOddball: It’s a wasted trip baby. Nobody said nothing about locking horns with no Tigers.
Big Joe: Hey look, you just keep them Tigers busy and we’ll take care of the rest.
Oddball: The only way I got to keep them Tigers busy is to LET THEM SHOOT HOLES IN ME!
Crapgame: Hey, Oddball, this is your hour of glory. And you’re chickening out!
Oddball: To a New Yorker like you, a hero is some type of weird sandwich, not some nut who takes on three Tigers.
Kelly: Nobody’s asking you to be a hero.
Oddball: No? Then YOU sit up in that turret baby.
Kelly: No, because you’re gonna be up there, baby, and I’ll be right outside showing you which way to go.
Oddball: Yeah?
Kelly: Yeah.
Oddball: Crazy… I mean like, so many positive waves… maybe we can’t lose, you’re on!
Now THAT’s the kind of Hope and Change I’m looking for!
June 6th, 2008 at 2:33 pmJune 6th, 2008 at 2:55 pm
Sorry — should have said, “I’ll be in my bunk . . . er, sublimating . . . with my husband!”
June 6th, 2008 at 3:31 pmHeh. Clint owns and rocks!
June 6th, 2008 at 3:39 pmmy girlfriend always said she would have sex with him if he was 92. the outlaw Josey Wales rules.
June 6th, 2008 at 4:07 pmClint is the man
That’s a line I wouldn’t mind standing in.
June 6th, 2008 at 4:33 pmI ain’t havin’ no babies for nobody, not even Clint. Can you imagine hooking up with Clint and having a little boy? The first time you tell little Clint Jr. ‘No’ and he gives you ‘that look’? I think it would scare the hell out of you and you’d give him every cookie in the jar.
June 6th, 2008 at 4:50 pmClint is one of the few people whom, whenever I read any quotes from them, I “hear” the words very distinctly in their voice. Can’t help it.
For many years in the ’90s there was a morning drive time DJ in Washington DC, The Greaseman (he took over after Stern got canned) who did what he called “bits,” little stories he’d act out, often as certain characters from the past or present. He was, for instance, The Emperor Tucass Faciass in ancient Rome, or Sgt. Fury in Vietnam, or himself battling Carlos the Jackel. One of his characters was The Punk.
Greasy always began this bit stating that he was a manly man and that he admired Clint Eastwood as a manly man and that nobody could question the veracity of their wrists or their complete manliness…buuuuuuut, you never know, a big bump on the head and who knows, one day, sharing an apartment in Calorama (a very gay section of DC)…and the story would continue on with Clinty and The Punk. Greaseman had a great knack for vocal imitation and of course Clinty has his grumble while the Punk was oh so mincing and gay.
One story that comes to mind is getting ready for a Halloween costume party. The Punk goes on all about his little French maid’s costume when, to his horror, clinty comes in buck naked with only a French fry taped to his manhood. The Punk squeals in astonishment that Clinty was not ready and it was time to go. Clinty says he is all ready and that this is his costume.
I’ll tell you what he was supposed to be later.
The stories would always end with…well, let’s say something neight Greasy OR Clint would EVER do.
Still, ya never know, a bump on the head….
June 6th, 2008 at 5:10 pmDoh, neither, that should read.
June 6th, 2008 at 5:12 pmOoh! A French fry!
I’ve always wanted to slap Spike Lee in the way I want to slap Michelle Obama now. They both strike me as angry black people who have no reason to feel that way except that it is fashionable in liberal quarters. Spoiled brats, both of them.
June 6th, 2008 at 5:40 pmTo RickVid
A dicktater. I mean, a dictator. It’s an old joke from the 60’s where a husband comes home to dress for a Hallowe’en party and finds his wife stark naked, except for the lemon she has wedged in her “womanhood.” That is, the “hoo hoo” if you will. He has dressed in a clown costume, but he gets pissed and says, “I’ll be right back!” He takes off all his clothes, finds a potato in the refrigerator, carves a big hole in it and puts it on his “manhood.” He goes back to the room where his nude wife is and says, “OK! I’m Ready to go to the Hallowe’en Party!”
His wife looks at the potato on his privates and says, “so what the hell are YOU supposed to be?!?” He replies, “well if YOU are going as a sour puss, them I’M going to the Hallowe’en party as a dictator!”
It’s it, and that’s that. I’ve never been to a Hallowe’en party, since. Besides, they’re usually just too gay for me, anyway.
June 6th, 2008 at 5:52 pmRW, so right.
Greasy had a million of them.
Of course, I fully disapproved of the very notion of Clint as a gay man; rough, stern, disciplining as he was in the bits.
June 6th, 2008 at 7:25 pmClint be the man!
June 6th, 2008 at 9:33 pmSpike Lee is like all the perpetually aggrieved in this country; just because they get air time whenever they open their slobber spigots, and a pass because apparently Whitey is the only race that can be racist.
Clint’s just telling it like it is; Man Style. Sad that it provokes notice these days.
From Josey Wales: “I rode with him, I got no complaints.”
Do it again, Clint, do it again!
June 6th, 2008 at 9:41 pmHell, I could kick Spike Lee’s ass. My cats could kick his ass.
This what Celebrity Death Match was made for. I’d give anything to see Clint and Chuck Norris take on Michael Moore and Spike Lee.
June 6th, 2008 at 10:14 pmangus lincoln:
June 6th, 2008 at 10:21 pmYeah, I thought the same thing, but that’s just claymation. We need to see the real thing — Celebrity Death Match on Spike (not MTV)!
Clint should’ve busted out with one of his best lines from Heartbreak Ridge:
I know what’s black and bleedin’ if it don’t shut it’s mouth…
June 7th, 2008 at 12:36 amI always dug Clint. Every now and then, something like this pops up and reminds me why.
June 7th, 2008 at 1:13 amI go around all the time quoting from the Dirty Harry movies, and some of his others as well.
Lately I’ve been stuck on saying
If you’re going to say that one out in public, though, be sure to sneer the word “STYLISH” with your teeth gnashing together like Clint does in the movie or else it doesn’t count.
June 7th, 2008 at 6:29 amAnd don’t forget that gem from “Two Mules for Sister Sara”:
Well, they ain’t sayin’ much now.
I found Lee’s comment extraordinarily unfair. Eastwood has always gone out of his way to employ black actors, some of whom (Albert Popwell, Morgan Freeman) have had long and distinguished film careers at least partially thanks to Eastwood. And let’s not forget Mario Van Peebles’ star turn in “Heartbreak Ridge”. Or Eastwood’s lifelong homage to black jazz artists.
Lee is just talking shit, and Clint was right to take him to the woodshed for it.
June 7th, 2008 at 11:43 amI too have always had a man-crush on Clint. The Dollars trilogy, in particular, is one of my favorite things ever.
“You see, my mule don’t like people laughing. Gets the crazy idea you’re laughing at him. Now if you all apologize, like I know you’re going to, I might be able to convince him you didn’t really mean it.”
June 8th, 2008 at 8:44 amI only have a little nit to pick, and it’s not with our lovely host. I’ve corrected the following statement:
June 8th, 2008 at 4:24 pmOh, and speaking of Van Peebles and “Heartbreak Ridge,” it wasn’t Eastwood who came up with this gem:
Man, I hate this shit! I oughtta be back in New Jersey, watchin’ the Flintstones!
June 8th, 2008 at 5:59 pm