Hillbilly Travelogue: Amsterdam.
(On the sidewalk immediately outside of a church)
This post will be very long because I took a lot of pictures, and although most of this will bore the crap out of most of you, I have some friends and family who are actually interested, so I’m going all out on this. Here is what the ‘Murrican saw in the crazy foreign nether-land…
I’ve been in a lot of airports, and the official rachellucas.com award for Coolest Airport So Far goes to Schiphol in Amsterdam. It’s just pretty in there. But I have to give a nod to Gatwick too, because they have a World of Whiskey store. Alas, with no Wild Turkey. Fascists.
Anyway, we arrived at Schiphol, and I praised it with strong words while Rupert led me to the train underground, and then we rode into Amsterdam, during which time I started to see what Rupert has always told me about Dutch people (he’s been to the Netherlands a few times). They have a certain look that you can spot a mile away, mostly by the rosy cheeks and height, and a certain awkward charm. I find them quite pleasing. And optimistic:
It wasn’t yet dusk when we walked from the “Centraal” station to our hotel, and the first thing that blew my tiny little Texas-raised brain was all the bicycles. MY GOD. Bikes are chained to everything, piled on top of each other, even filling entire parking-garage-like structures:
Our hotel room was so very Dutch. We were on the top floor and thus our room had a pitched room with exposed wood beams, two levels with a loft. Also, there was pr0n on the television.
After gorging ourselves on a dinner of fine beer and pizza and fried calamari at an Italian restaurant, we wandered through the Red Light District. Within the first two minutes, I was speechless. I’ve seen naughty in my life, but this was in a league all its own. It is exactly as you have heard, if you’ve never been there. Hundreds of near-nude hookers in the windows, thousands of pedestrians, the smell of pot floating out of every coffeeshop, more bars than I have the math skills to count. Not to mention the live sex shows and the sex shops that offer the kind of window-shopping that would make your Grandma cry.
There are more good-looking hookers than I’d heard there are, but the ones you really remember are the sad-looking, defeated specimens. I saw one that was actually crying. One that was quite pregnant. A few with missing teeth. Several that make performance art out of boredom.
We came around one corner and suddenly right in our faces was a girl with one foot up on her window ledge (so to give you a better, uh, view), swinging her hips lasciviously right at pedestrian eye level, and if you could tear your eyes away from that, which I could because I’m not a lesbian, you’d discover she was disinterestedly texting on her cell phone with both hands while a cigarette hung out of her mouth. It doesn’t get much sexier than that.
You’re not supposed to take pictures of the hookers so I didn’t until the next day, and I really don’t know how these particular hookers can complain because their windows are a mere few feet away from an old giant photo-worthy church. This cracked me up, a big church RIGHT SMACK in the middle of the Red Light District. I still tried not to be obvious but felt obligated to get at least one shot of some hookers, because that’s what I do here at this web site, hard-hitting investigative photojournalism.
Anyway, back to the first night, after soon growing accustomed to the multitude of almost-naked women and other assorted freaky-deaky-ness such as a sign outside one of the live sex show places that advertised the sorts of sex you could see, which included “ANIMAL” (and don’t even get me started on the DVD selection in the dirty dirty pr0n shops, I’m still trying to forget I ever went in there and looked at the covers…horses…donkeys…dogs…noooooooo), we found empty seats on the streetside patio of a pub that faced the , at which a carnival was going on, with giant rides, including one of those catapult-looking things where you’re spun in a huge vertical circle very very fast while strapped in by the shoulder while your legs hang free and you face outward, the kind of ride that makes people like Rupert and me have horrified discussions about G-forces and what if one of the passengers pukes at the moment their mouth is lined up on a trajectory towards us?
Anyway, it was one of the most fascinating people-watching times of my life. The whole weekend was, really. Amsterdam is packed with people from everywhere, of every kind, and they’re all having a good time (except the ones who ate too much space cake and got impatient while waiting for it to kick in so had a few shots of hard liquor, resulting in whole-body paralysis but not the kind that stops them from trying to walk anyway - one of these sorts almost fell ass-first directly into Rupert’s lap but Rupert had an umbrella in hand, strategically placed, and all I can say is Dude is really really lucky he didn’t fall at that moment).
I drank Magner’s cider - good lord, it comes in a pint bottle, HERE GET DRUNK - and Rupert had some exotic beer (and yes, I still refer to anything that’s not labeled Miller or Bud Light “exotic”), and we watched the carnival rides.
At one point, an Irish girl decided to make friends with us and she was a drunken Irish delight. She sang an Irish song to me and then told us that she’d lived in Boston for a few months; she tried out her American accent on us, which was not so much Boston as Louisiana Cajun. She wandered off after telling us how AWESOME Nashville must be and that she will visit it someday if it’s the last thing she does. God bless ‘er.
We stayed up way too late that night, but next morning, after only 6 hours of sleep, I sprung out of bed wide awake, so excited was I about our pending visit to the Van Gogh museum. We walked there, and being the genius that I am, I’d bought our tickets for Van Gogh and the Anne Frank house online before we left the UK, and thank god I did because the line was at least a block long. We went right in the ticket-holder door and within minutes my face was mere inches away from Starry Night. I possibly drooled and definitely squeaked out loud.
It was much bigger than I expected, and much brighter. I never realized how dark the print I have is; never knew how much green is on the tree in the lower left. Oh, how it took my breath away. Also, many of you had mentioned , and yes. You were right; it is beautiful. Give me it.
I have several books on Van Gogh so was familiar with most of his paintings, but still, there’s nothing like seeing them in person. Lovely. I wanted to lick most of them, which frankly probably wouldn’t have made anyone bat an eye unless they’d teleported from Idaho straight into the museum and thus would not be able to put my behavior into the relative context of the city in general.
Our tickets for the Anne Frank house were for a set time (8:30 p.m.) so we spent the meanwhile wandering. I would like for someone please to explain this to me:
I resent the implications, is what I’m saying.
Since our Anne Frank ticket time was for after dark, we walked to the house in the daylight so I could get a good look at the exterior, and I tell you, I nearly cried. There it was. Just there. On a beautiful street facing a beautiful canal, and I could see in my mind’s eye the Nazis tromping in there and hauling out poor Anne and the others. It was surreal and awful.
But not as surreal as several hours later, when we toured the house itself. I don’t have words for that experience. Though the house was packed full of tourists, it was deathly silent. You could hear the floorboards creaking and the overhead speaker playing snippets from the diary; that was all. When I stood in the room where Anne lived and wrote her diary, a room that is smaller than some closets I’ve had, I was overwhelmed. Even stoic Rupert was moved.
(Brief tangent: some commenters have suggested we visit some of the concentration camps on our Eastern Bloc Tour this July. Don’t worry, we will. That is in fact the a good part of the reason we decided on that trip; I’ve been plotting a way to get to Poland for as long as Rupert has known me and for years before, ever since I minored in WWII history.)
But this post is not to depress you. Onward.
Now for the picture dump. This one is special for all you ig’nernt hicks who know so much less about history than enlightened Europeans:
They have open-air street urinals. See the dude in there? He’s taking a whiz.
Here are variations on the public-peeing apparatus, and also some crooked buildings (one of the things I love most about Amsterdam):
Gotta wonder why anyone would name their restaurant this:
Sounds delicious.
Rupert did not approve of this:
We ended up back at Dam Square and I mean absolutely no disrespect, but we had to ask ourselves why a WWII memorial should look so very homoerotic, and if this monument could possibly look any more like a giant pecker:
We simultaneously cooed, “Who’s a good dog!” at this:
Rupert grew used to hearing me urgently whisper, “Area of concern! Area of concern!” while I snapped certain pictures:
By far, the most bizarre thing we beheld was what you see in the following picture. That tiny narrow creepy passage you see is nothing but yet another long row of red-lighted hooker windows. I have a travel book. I know that the sign with the man pulling along a little child is the basic Amsterdam “pedestrian” sign. Just saying: creepy.
You know what else is creepy? The fact that no matter how far away from home I get, I can’t escape the evil imperialist clutches of The Colonel:
Rupert had the grim misfortune of looking right at this guy as he ran outside the coffeeshop and hurled. Looks like someone couldn’t handle his Easter Sunday bakeout:
But aside from all the freaks, hippies, hookers, museums, and what have you, something we both enjoyed very much was just the buildings. Amsterdam has a certain look architecturally that I find so very appealing, not least of which because it seems at all times that half the buildings are about to topple into the streets. The crookedness was utterly charming.
And that is all. As you can see, we didn’t have time to see a lot of what Amsterdam has to offer, such as the Rijksmuseum, and no time to leave the city, such as to see the tulip farms, as we were only there for about 48 hours, but it was a blast nonetheless. Greatest birthday present ever. So far.
Delightful! I have something fun to read after work today!
April 15th, 2009 at 11:46 amESTAmsterdam looks awesome- I’m sooo jealous. Looking forward to more Hillbilly Travelogues.
April 15th, 2009 at 12:02 pmESTYou do us proud, Rachel! Great post.
I’m going to try to do the same in two months with Greece and Instanbul.
When are you going to head to the middle east? Bahrain? Dubai? Oman? Please let me know ahead of time so we can meet up. Doubt very much you’ll be visiting Saudi. Mericans are just not welcome, you know.
April 15th, 2009 at 12:04 pmESTWe also have open air urinals here ‘oop north’ in Manchester, although most drunks still use the doorways and telephone boxes…
April 15th, 2009 at 12:08 pmESTIf you haven’t already read it, you might quite enjoy the book The Undutchables.
April 15th, 2009 at 12:11 pmESTthe sense of these pix is of a carnie midway
Curious… Looks like the guy in the skirt is modeling a lace wig like Ace enjoys. Is that blue “P” sign to help you find these comfort stations? seem sexist. and who puts ketchup on a hotdog? no real murrcan.
keep this stuff comin
April 15th, 2009 at 12:12 pmESTNo tulip farms?? Egads, I won’t tell my boss then.
April 15th, 2009 at 12:13 pmESTGlad you had fun Rachel. Looks like a neat place.
“Easter Sunday bakeout”
LOL.
You’re not supposed to take pictures of the hookers so I didn’t until the next day
ROFL. That’s the Rachel we know!
April 15th, 2009 at 12:20 pmESTHey - this Idahoan promises she wouldn’t have batted an eye at you at the Van Gogh museum. We’re not all redneck hicks, ya know! Heh!
April 15th, 2009 at 12:50 pmESTno canal tour? I’m shocked. We enjoyed seeing the city from water level … but that’s because my reaction to crowds is to grab a machete and make some room!
And you must’ve walked thru the red light district much slower than we did because you sure saw (or paid attention) a lot more than we did. Or maybe it was busy when we wandered through since most of the curtains were closed.
April 15th, 2009 at 12:56 pmESTGreat post and pictures. I doubt I’ll ever get to Amsterdam but I feel like I have some knowledge of it now.
April 15th, 2009 at 1:23 pmEST1. Boring? Not at all. Fascinating. Especially the rather bizarre “area of concern” photos.
2. This ‘Murrican puts ketchup on his hotdog. I loves ketchup on hotdogs. I reserve the mustard for bratwurst.
April 15th, 2009 at 1:40 pmESTDo tell about the people, though - you said Romans were rather unpleasant…what of the Dutch?
April 15th, 2009 at 1:44 pmESTI saw a dog riding on a Harley here in Vegas last weekend. He had a cute little doggy helmet though.
I’m sooo jealous, One day I desperately want to transfer to a Touring show in my company so that I can live in Amsterdam for 3 months while spending a couple years touring the EU all expenses paid.
April 15th, 2009 at 1:56 pmESTI ventured to Holland a few years ago, and was initially surprised at the openness of all the drugs and sexual stuff. After I got over that, I realized there’s little joy or excitement attached to the debauchery. It’s like the proverbial dog who licks himself: the Dutch just seem to do it because they can.
Like you, one of my favorite things about Holland was the architecture. It’s so quaint and charming. But did you notice anything peculiar about peoples’ homes in the evening? During my evening walks I noticed that the curtains were always open so you could see straight into each house’s front room, but nobody was ever in the front room. One of the locals told me that they leave the curtains open, because otherwise it looks like they have something to hide; but since no one likes living in a fishbowl, everyone hangs out in the back rooms.
April 15th, 2009 at 1:57 pmESTI must be having an out-of-body experience because I find that, after looking at Rachel’s pics and words, I am just beside myself. So, here are my comments:
1. Has The Netherlands finally become Bangkok?
2. So, why do the Muslims hate us? They should start with The Netherlands!
3. I don’t want to EVER HEAR another American or Canadian feminist say ANYthing bad about American men’s fascination with women’s breasts! Not only do you NOT see American men putting “artistic” implementations of a woman’s breast being fondled by a hand in front of a church, but we require that if you want to see nude women doing their acts, you have to recognize that a specific bar has such action, then go inside, pay a cover charge and sit down and watch. Thus, leaving the rest of us to walk down any street unaccosted by anyone gyrating, nudely, in a window.
Well, there may be one exception. The Castro district in BFC (a/k/a SFKH). That is where “live, nude gay” is a protected species. Even the lesbians get tired of it. Esp. those who defy human-biology and have children.
April 15th, 2009 at 2:07 pmESTXD
The man wearing cowboy boots riding an orange bike is so absurd!
moar
[hahahahahahahahaha Amelia! I actually thought that exact caption when I was cropping the photo! You’re my brain twin. And I want pah! - Rachel
April 15th, 2009 at 2:31 pmESTGreat Hillbilly travelogue Rachel! The first two area of concern pics really cracked me up. But the big hotdog thing? I haven’t the slightest idea what to make of that. Keep having fun and sharing it with us!
April 15th, 2009 at 2:32 pmESTThe area of concern section reaffirmed why I am afraid of clowns. *shudders*
We are in the works of planning a trip to Amsterdam next February, and now I know to buy tickets for the Van Gogh museum early. As for Anne Frank, I’d love to go, but would be afraid I’d just cry the entire time.
Glad your birthday present was so unique and special.
April 15th, 2009 at 2:33 pmESTNo, just Amsterdam. In the smaller towns you will find people who dress like Amish, bonnets and all, most women are housewives, and if you work in your garden on a Sunday, passersby will scold you for working on the sabbath.
A land of contrasts. The bikes are everywhere, though. The whole country is flat as a table.
April 15th, 2009 at 2:43 pmESTOh my god I cannot tell you how many times this post made me LOL.
Awesome.
April 15th, 2009 at 2:59 pmESTDid the toothless hookers charge extra?
What about the “coffee” shops? I’m not much into the whole pot thing, but what were they like? Did they have a menu or something? What did they charge?
Good post- not long or boring at all.
April 15th, 2009 at 3:07 pmEST[Heh. The coffeeshops were truly just like actual coffee shops. Except they sell pot and hash. Yes, they had menus. And big bowls of the stuff right on the bar for you to sniff and fondle. As for the "pastries", I saw hash muffins for about 3-4 euros and big hash "space cakes" for about 7 euros. And that is all I'm going to say about that. As for the toothless hookers, LOL. I didn't price them out so who knows, but I still LOL'ed at your question. - Rachel]
Wow. I didn’t think the laws of physics allowed the word “freedom” to be printed next to an image of che.
April 15th, 2009 at 3:25 pmESTMakes sense to me. When your business is saving sinners, gotta go to the area with the largest consumer base, right?
Can you imagine how many confessions they must take per day? The priests probably have to work in shifts.
April 15th, 2009 at 3:30 pmESTI am so enjoying seeing other parts of the world through your lens, Rachel. It’s just more fun coming from you. So Rupert wasn’t game for the cock ring. Awww, so sorry. Also, I’m glad that someone uses the term “pecker” besides me. Must be a southern “thang”. LOL
April 15th, 2009 at 3:32 pmESTYou watched it! You can’t un-watch it!
Stay tuned for more TALES. OF. INTEREST!
April 15th, 2009 at 3:37 pmESTI’m pretty sure the hotdog thing is because Hotdogs are a very American thing. So it’s just a taste of home for those who have been away too long, eating strange foods that may or may not do strange things to the digestion.
April 15th, 2009 at 3:47 pmESTWith a hotdog a wandering Murrican knows what (s)he’s getting.
Great report, Rachel. Just the thing I needed to see before heading down to the Tea Party at Dallas City Hall tonight.
More photos, please!!!
April 15th, 2009 at 3:49 pmESTI took my two young daughters to see Europe for a month in the early 70s, when the older one was 12 and the younger 10. One of our planned stops was Amsterdam for five days, but we departed after three. My girls wanted out, saying they were tired of stepping in human vomitus (Okay, to be truthful they called it puke). Drunks were everywhere and at all times of day, passed out in doorways and stacked up at every curb. We loved the architecture, Van Gogh and the Anne Frank house experience, but couldn’t wait to leave that city. They’ve liberaled themselves out of any semblance of civilization. Only the historical stuff there is a draw. Your travelogue was fun, Rachel, and I’m glad you went so I don’t have to do it again.
April 15th, 2009 at 3:53 pmESTThey don’t just serve pot — they have hash as well! Cheap, too!
I… um, I mean, uhh… well, that’s what I’ve heard…
April 15th, 2009 at 3:56 pmESTRachel, are you planning a trip to Normandy too?
This year is the 65th anniversary of the Landing - I went there five years ago as a Reenactor and it was amazing! I got to speak with some of the very men we owe our freedom to and I truly don’t have the words to describe how it felt, especially when I realized they were glad to see us in uniform.
I really wish I could go back this year, although I’m not sure it’s going to be as enjoyable as last time since the French mayors passed a lot of idiotic laws against things like “being in uniform outside of parades/camp/display time.”
If you go around the anniversary, you’ll have to go mainly for the celebrations and the people: actually visiting museums and historical markings would be quite difficult. After June 6th, however, it gets very, very quiet.
Think about it!
[Yes! We are planning something for D-Day this year. Not sure what, yet. The UK (quite controversially) has decided to have no "official" events until the centenary in 2044!!! We'd like to go to France this June 6, but at this point, all the hotels are booked, as are the ferries. Might have to just end up on the English coast at some of the events there, put on by the local vets. I've already started planning a way to be in France for it next year, though. Not many more chances to meet these men remain. I will be posting about this as the time gets near. - Rachel]
April 15th, 2009 at 4:01 pmESTWow, I guess if there is ever an earthquake there it’s buh-bye to crooked Amsterdam.
April 15th, 2009 at 4:31 pmESTAwesome post Rachel. I can’t think of a better virtual tour guide than you.
I have had the pleasure to see some original works by van GOFF and the texture is so amazing and adds to the dynamism of his work.
I can’t wait to hear of your trip to Poland. We (wife, kids and in-laws) went to Warsaw and Kracow last August and it was so amazing. We are of Polish origin, so were used to and loving the food. The Jewish ghetto in Warsaw really had me choked up. I tried to explain to my 8 year old how profoundly brave the Jews (and catholics who fought the Nazis) were and how they knowingly chose to die on their feet than live on their knees. He asked why I was crying by the time I finished. The thing I loved in Warsaw was that many of the buildings keep a symbol on the roofs that looks like “PW” and was the graffiti used in WWII that meant, “Warsaw fights!” Loved that!
Kracow was amazing as it survived the war without sifnificant damage. The trumpeter in the Sukkienice (sp?? too lazy to look up) is delightful and dates back 700+ years. There is a restaurant on the Sukkienice that dates back almost that long.
We stayed at the Hotel Copernicus which is very near the Wawel Castle and the apartments where John Paul II lived while Cardinal in the city (his face was everywhere and made me happy everytime I saw it). Hotel Copernicus is where GW Bush stayed when trying to build the coalition of the willing in 2002. I stumbled on a page in the guest book that had a photo of W exiting a car outside the hotel and numerous entries expressing support for him and the USA from other guests of the hotel. Someone had handdrawn a lovely US flag and another person wrote beside it, “these colors don’t run!” Damn straight.
I turned and asked the concierge, “what room did President Bush stay in?” She replied, “Why, of course, he stayed in the room you are in!” I love traveling with my in-laws! My son spent the rest of our trip saying, “did Pres. Bush sleep in this room? Did he take a bath in this tub? Did he shower in this shower? Did he sit at this desk?” Just cute.
If possible, go to the salt mines at Wieliczka about 30 miles outside of Krakow. I didn’t go to any concentration camps as I would have been a complete mess (there’s something about the echoes of our human capacity to senselessly brutalize our brothers and sisters that makes me cry uncontrollably) and I didn’t want to use the same, “got something in my eye” that I used to cover at the Jewish memorial in Warsaw.
Cheers and thanks for sharing Rachel. Enjoy it all and keep sharing. Not boring at all.
[Thank you!! I'm already focused like a laser on the Eastern Bloc tour so am taking notes of everything you said. I so look forward to the Warsaw experience, and everything else you mentioned. We aren't making any hotel reservations so that we can "explore the space freely", but I will bookmark the Copernicus and see if we can get in there for at least a night. I'm the same way about uncontrollable crying in the echoes of senseless brutalization; so I have a feeling my July vacation travelogue won't have quite the happy tone of the Amsterdam one. Urgh. Still I must do it. More about all this as the time nears, I love hearing from those of you who've been there - Rachel]
April 15th, 2009 at 4:37 pmESTOff topic but related to an earlier thread:
(LOVEZ me that picture, a real study in historical contrast.)
[You read my mind - I already have this story tabbed after seeing it at Nicki Fellenzer's blog so that I can blog about it tomorrow. - Rachel]
Say no more, say no more…
April 15th, 2009 at 4:45 pmESTRachel -
Probably a little off-topic, but I agree with your assessment of the English: very, very nice. I spent a week in York a couple of years back, and that was my experience as well.
Blantant Plug: So I wrote about it on my blog.
April 15th, 2009 at 4:53 pmESTI knew it! That hand outside the church in the sidewalk. Irrefutable evidence that SkyNet is alive and the Terminators are on the way.
Where’s Sarah Connor? I want to bend her over the Tele and shag her a few times before the end comes.
Joe
April 15th, 2009 at 5:07 pmESTA link to the Hotel Copernicus that has a photo of suite 101 where we stayed (and where W stayed 6 years prior). Simply amazing - I still pinch myself.
Sorry for the lack of linking skills.
April 15th, 2009 at 5:23 pmESTWow, that bed in the picture of the Hotel Copernicus is amazing!
I also LOL’d @ the second day shot of the hookers,heheh.
Keep on posting, Rachel. We’ll keep reading.
April 15th, 2009 at 5:44 pmESTThe shot of KFC reminded me of the first thing that caught my eye walking out of Central Station, Hooters! Gotta get me some wings!
April 15th, 2009 at 5:44 pmESTThe bikes are something, aren’t they? After a visit to Amsterdam and Rotterdam, where I got to ride around on one of those wonderful bikes, I just HAD to have a Dutch bike. Love it, love it, love it!
When you go to Poland, be sure to get some Zlota Woda - kind of like Goldwasser but more herby and a tad more sweet. I know I should recommend awesome places, but my hillbilly roots go straight for the booze and other local specialties!
April 15th, 2009 at 5:48 pmESTDuring your travels, you may want to spend some time in the Ardennes. There are many small, privately owned, shrines and memorials in the area to individual US soldiers, or small units of same, that decided to turn and fight, rather than keep retreating.
The memorials were often paid for and built by individual families or small villages. Many of them are “owned” by families who maintain them year round, and they’ve even been fought over in divorce settlements.
April 15th, 2009 at 6:06 pmESTDude on the Harley has a Hells Angels backpatch. ROFLMAO
April 15th, 2009 at 6:19 pmESTI got a hillbilly question, but I gotta know. Are the public pissoirs for men only?
April 15th, 2009 at 7:05 pmEST[Yes! You can barely make it out in these pics, but in the upper corner, you see that little tiny blue graphic? That's the "male" symbol thingy like you see on restroom doors. I laughed at that and Rupert said it probably still didn't stop chicks from trying. LOL - Rachel]
Grimmy,
That is awesome. Much like in the US, my sense is that the regular folks respect, admire and appreciate what the US is and has done for their countries. It is only the elite, ‘educated’ city dwellers that despise (perhaps resent) the US for its strengths and moral certainty.
I think that the situation regarding private memorials and private caretaking of them is the same at Belleau Wood in France where Uncle Sam’s Misguided Children (USMC for those in Rio Linda) earned the nickname Teufelhunden from the unfortunate Germans that encountered them. Teufelhunden is, of course, German for Devil Dogs.
If I had my life to do over again, I would want to be a Marine (and an economist after I retired from service - DON’T JUDGE ME. I know I’m a little off).
Slight off topic comment. Rchl, on the east bloc tour, try to include Prague in the Czech Republic. The Karl Most is completely worth it and so romantic. I was in Prague about 2 years after they won their freedom and the peeps still had that “just got outta jail look in their eyes.” I am glad I got to see that before the people became jaded by their freedom. It seems that they still have statesmen that are able to eloquently describe the differences between freedom and socialist tyranny.
April 15th, 2009 at 7:39 pmESTGreat post Rachel. Looks like you guys had a blast. What a strange place, so many contradictions.
April 15th, 2009 at 7:45 pmESTThey say prostitution is a victimless crime but I’m sure those women are ALL miserable and lost. It’s sad.
Going to the Anne Frank house scares me because I’m sure I’d do nothing but cry the entire time. I started tearing up just reading about it here.
I LOVE your hillbilly travelogue!!! I look forward to more Rachel adventures.
April 15th, 2009 at 8:15 pmESTWent to Amsterdam to celebrate my 50th last fall. Your beautiful pictures remind me of how much I loved it. You were very wise not to try riding a bike. I am scared of heights and just got back from hiking the Grand Canyon. That was nothing compared to riding a bike in Amsterdam which was absolutely terrifying.
April 15th, 2009 at 8:23 pmESTThose pictures make me want to go directly home NOW, ppick up my passport (who needs clothes? They’ve invented shops) and drive directly to the airport.
April 15th, 2009 at 8:49 pmESTI was in class yesterday (it’s an English Literature class filled with 19 and 20 year olds…that’s my luck that UNLV made me take it over again) and someone brought up Anne Frank and this girl asks “Who is Anne Frank?” My teacher looked at her like she had three heads and the whole room fell completely silent. WTF??!?!?!? She said she never had to read it in school, she probably did, she just DIDN’T read it. Then a couple of other ignorant fucks in the class spoke up and admitted they didn’t know who she was either. Great, that’s the future of our country right there.
Anyway, thanks for sharing your travels with us Rachel. I love the pictures, I would love to get to Europe one of these days, I have my BA in History and soon my Masters in Military/WW2 History, but never never never have been able to make it over there. I’m too po’ and do not have the time so I’m just gonna have to live vicariously through you!!
P.S. Love the Sunny pic too! I sure do miss her and Margaret!
April 15th, 2009 at 9:01 pmESTSounds like you had a blast. FWIW, the “window” hookers are about at the lowest end of the biz—you can get a lot better for more $$$. (Er…or so I hear…)
The Netherlands Hells Angel didn’t surprise me; they have several chapters there, and have had vicious turf wars over the drugs trade.
I liked the Amsterdam back street picture best. It was so atmospheric that I wanted to go to Amsterdam myself.
April 15th, 2009 at 9:03 pmESTDid you get pictures inside the Annex? I remember being exposed to Diary of a Young Girl and Treblinka for the first time in 4th grade, and both really made an impression on me. I need to reread them both again. I never really thought about it, but the writing of a teenage girl who died 10 years before I was born played a significant part in who I’ve become. One of the reasons I’m still doing the deployment thing at my age is to maybe play a small part in preventing that kind of history from repeating.
[And thank you for doing it. There's no "maybe" about it.
No photos allowed inside the annex, which makes sense because it was pretty dark in there and everyone would have to use flash, and you know how that would end up, with all those people in there. I mean it was toe-to-heel the whole way through. On a Saturday night! I often wonder what Anne would think if she knew that 65 years on, so many people were so interested. It's truly remarkable. - Rachel]
April 15th, 2009 at 9:41 pmESTBoy, those Amsterdam Angels look like pussies.
Sneakers, helmet, & cute little visor?
Yikes.
Looks like a fun trip though…
April 15th, 2009 at 10:01 pmESTIf Lenin, Stalin and Hitler were better looking they’d probably be on T-shirts and bags too…
April 16th, 2009 at 12:12 amESTExcellent photo and description essay, Rachel. Every picture could have been circled with a caption of “area of concern” however, It looks great and interesting and obviously different than Texas. And isn’t that the point?
April 16th, 2009 at 4:08 amEST1. Hillbilly travelogues are the best kind. (I used to watch Rick Steves until I found out what an a-hole he was)
2. I love the “area of concern” photos.
3. I think it’s interesting what the commenter said about the “grimness” of the open-sex, open-pot trade. I can see that. And I wonder how it compares in, say, Nevada, where hooking is legal. And I wonder what it would mean if the people who want to legalize pot in the US (I don’t have a strong opinion on that; I don’t do it myself but I don’t care if someone does in the privacy of their home) or prostitution (I do have issues with that, mainly because it seems to lead to there being a permanent underclass of poorly-treated women…)
But yeah, I can see the lack of joy in debauchery.
4. I’m kind of jealous that you got to see the Anne Frank house. I remember being really moved by her diaries when I read them (actually, the Bowdlerized version, but whatever) at 12 or so.
I do think more American kids should probably read the diaries. If for nothing else, to remind them that Totalitarianism Is Bad.
It seems sadly ironic to me that Che t-shirts and bags are being sold in the very city where Anne Frank and her family had to go into hiding. (And I don’t care about the political differences between Che and Hitler; a murderous thug is a murderous thug)
April 16th, 2009 at 6:54 amESTGreat pics of Amsterdam. 15-20 years ago I had a boss that was Dutch. As a young boy during the German occupation (he hated Germans) his father hid in the attic for 6 months to keep from being pressed into a work camp by the Nazis. He said the kids were sent to England after VE day so that they could fatten up and that when he got off the train upon his return, his parents didn’t recognize him. He also told a hilarious story about a Dutch village in which they didn’t change their underwear until it was in tatters and falling off….but I digress….
April 16th, 2009 at 9:11 amESTRachel,
the post felt like i was actually there…fun photos, too.
April 16th, 2009 at 10:02 amESTNext time (and there WILL be a next time, AMS does that to you), you can avoid the tourist crap like the Red Light district and pot cafes, and spend time in the Rijksmuseum and Flower Market — also tourist things, but worthy nevertheless.
Also, you made no mention of eating pannekoek (Dutch pancakes). I think that it’s illegal to visit Amsterdam without trying them, but maybe they’ve relaxed the law since I was there.
And you did not go to Kaasland (cheese shop), for which you will be punished.
April 16th, 2009 at 10:55 amEST[Uncle Kim! I actually had mention of chowing down on "pannen koeken" in my first draft but it got too long and that's a part that got cut. I even took a picture of the charming tiny little place where we did indeed indulge in some genuine Dutch pancakes, which I am MOST pleased to report did not even require piles of butter and syrup. They're more like crepes, don't you think? Absolutely delicious. Alas, no, we did not visit Kaasland, and I await my punishment. It better be a Dutch "punishment." - Rachel]
Good thing my ancestors left about two hundred years ago and made their way over to America. The family name is still Dutch, but nothing else is, apparently.
The sex trade is just tragic. Those windows reminded me of visiting the animal shelter, looking for a dog, seeing all those abandoned animals just hoping for a home.
I like the buildings, love the crazy people, though! Isn’t it nice to be married, and snuggle up after all the madness with the one you love?
[Yes. I had the very same thought: animal shelter. I would've gone into more detail about it but didn't want the post to be depressing; my first draft had about three paragraphs about how sad the Red Light District was for me. I'm all for freedom, but, my god. It really did upset me, to be honest. The girls looked so defeated. - Rachel]
April 16th, 2009 at 11:06 amESTI believe that I peed in that very same outdoor urinal.
Just thought I’d share…
April 16th, 2009 at 1:30 pmESTThank you, Rachel. This is most enjoyable read I think I’ve had on any blog, ever.
April 16th, 2009 at 2:10 pmESTI’m sorry, but I just gotta know. WTF is up with that hand-on-breast bronze sculpture thing in the first picture?
April 16th, 2009 at 3:44 pmEST[No idea! That's why I took a pic of it, I was so confused. There was no explanatory plaque or anything. Rupert halfheartedly suggested maybe it was a statement about checking for breast cancer? LOL. - Rachel]
Yeah, like the piss christ is about checking for prostate cancer. Pass that one on to Rupert. All it means is that there is no explanation for either “work of art” other than “art is what the artist calls it.”
I’m glad sewer workers haven’t gotten to the point of considering themselves “artists.”
April 16th, 2009 at 6:23 pmESTHmmm. Now, THAT adds a new dimension to that Bette Davis line:
What a dump!
April 16th, 2009 at 6:24 pmESTCool! Thanks very much for posting those pix! I have never been to Amsterdam, but would very much like to.
BTW, if you enjoyed the architecture in Amsterdam, I HIGHLY recommend that you visit York. It’s a whopping three hour drive north of London and, since you’re already in England (as opposed to me, who is in Florida) a very short trek. The City restored the 13th century walls back in the late 1800s and did a great job of it. As a result, the city feels like a medieval city with all the narrow streets, snickerways, and of course, York Minster (the cathedral). You will not regret it!!!
Best always, and thanks again for the great blog,
April 16th, 2009 at 6:32 pmESTMattski
Love the pretty sparkly floors at Schiphol in Amsterdam!
April 16th, 2009 at 7:38 pmEST“So far.” Amen.
Thanks for sharing your life with us, Rachel.
April 16th, 2009 at 9:23 pmESTI’m late to the game owing to my bit o’ tea
April 16th, 2009 at 9:27 pmESTbaggingpartying yesterday, but it looks like you had a great time.The thing that really made me want to go to Amsterdam was Neal Stephenson’s Quicksilver. His description of Baroque era Amsterdam totally made me want to walk through what a city like that must have become today.
Also, the little ad thing (with the word(s) “(the) house” in blue) by the picture of Anne Frank sent a chill up my spine. House of Leaves is a delightful evil evil book.
April 16th, 2009 at 9:54 pmESTRachel, Thanks so much for the travelogue and pictures. We lived in Italy for four years and managed to travel throughout much of Western Europe, including Amsterdam. BTW, if you are doing a WWII tour, try to get to Bastogne. It’s a beautiful little town with a well-preserved battlefield. It’s also quite close to Waterloo if you have any interest in Napoleonic history. Thanks for the great blog.
April 16th, 2009 at 10:23 pmESTCorrie TenBoom was a woman from the Netherlands who with her entire family was sent to concentration camps for hiding Jews. In her book “The Hiding Place”, Corrie describes how they were able to make hidey-holes in their house precisely because it was so crooked.
April 16th, 2009 at 10:41 pmESTDepressing?
Not here, please. We can figure this shit out, right/?
Mommy? I don’t cry out loud, do I?
As far as the padlocked tits go… huh ? ?
I could do better with my fuckin’ finger paints and crayons.
Yeah, right.
That is really in front of a church?
And I thought I could make it with my fingerpaint. And crayons.
April 17th, 2009 at 12:57 amESTYes, as I found to my cost once, spacecake does take a while to kick in. I made the mistake of having some spacetea whilst I waited, and then made an even bigger mistake of sitting down to watch the movie in the cafe - Pink Floyd’s “The Wall”.
Dear God….what a horrendous experience. I was one of those paralysed people that you see around the place, but unable to tear my eyes away from the movie. Just say no to drugs.
April 17th, 2009 at 7:19 amESTYou need only two hours to visit the Rijks. You will remember these two hours forever.
April 17th, 2009 at 7:40 amESTBefore you ask, yes, I realize that there’s something seriously wrong with me.
April 17th, 2009 at 8:27 amESTI lived in Amsterdam for 3 years, and one of the most interesting things is how radically different the “local” experience is from the one the tourist gets - all that tawdry stuff recedes into the background (it’s mostly tourists, anyway).
Stickwick Stapers has it right about the open curtains. It’s considered rude to close your curtains, but tend to leave the area in front of the window as an uninhabited display area.
You walk all the time when you live in Amsterdam, and it’s impossible to resist the temptation to peer into all of those open windows. Most are actually quite lovely, since they’re carefully arranged for passers-by. Our favorite was an apartment that had a large (4-5′ across) oil painting of a nearly-naked, middle-aged woman (not idealized) dressed as a dominatrix, wearing a carnival mask, and walking a pig on a leash.
That was 6 years ago, so I have no idea if the painting is still there. We’re visiting in August, though, and I can guarantee we’ll go see…
Interestingly enough, we lived there long enough to absorb that attitude and would wonder about people who close their curtains. We also developed a surprising preference for natural childbirth at home, but that’s another story.
April 17th, 2009 at 6:22 pmESTWhen you go to Normandy, I can recommend the Hotel Churchill in Bayeux (http://www.hotel-churchill.fr/index_uk.html). Short distance from the Beaches (abt 8 miles from Gold, 12 from Omaha — they sponsor tours to there & also Mt St Mike). They are also a very short walk from the Bayeux Tapestrie.
I stayed there a couple of nights in Nov & it is one of the few places in France that I plan to return to. Typical small hotel (both in number & size of rooms [& I mean small rooms]) but reasonable price & friendly. (Also has high speed internet). In the center of town with lots of restaurants and shops near by.
April 17th, 2009 at 7:55 pmESTIs that biker with a dog a Hells Angel? I can’t quite make it out.
April 17th, 2009 at 9:49 pmESTGreat post
April 18th, 2009 at 10:14 amESTSame thing happened to me when my family and I vacationed in Mexico back when I was in high school. When we got there we had a brief stopover in CanCun, the big tourist resort town in Mexico, then continued on to Merida. Boy oh boy what a difference!
April 18th, 2009 at 11:06 amEST