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Osama bin Laden: sultan of goat romance. [UPDATED]

I was sure this camel-humper was dead about five years ago but . ABC says they have the transcript of his latest video and it's a belly-laugher:

"It has now become clear to you and the entire world the impotence of the democratic system and how it plays with the interests of the peoples and their blood by sacrificing soldiers and populations to achieve the interests of the major corporations."

Bin Laden comes close to offering a date for the tape with this by saying, "... just a few days ago, the Japanese observed the 62nd anniversary of the annihilation of Hiroshima and Nagasaki by your nuclear weapons."

He goes on to call Noam Chomsky "among one of the most capable of those from your own side," and mentions global warming and "the Kyoto accord."

He also speaks to recent issues grabbing headlines in the United States, referring to "the reeling of many of you under the burden of interest-related debts, insane taxes and real estate mortgages; global warming and its woes..."

"To conclude," bin Laden says, "I invite you to embrace Islam." He goes on to say: "There are no taxes in Islam, but rather there is a limited Zakaat [alms] totaling 2.5 percent.”

What a clown. Where is "Islam", exactly, the place where there are no taxes?

I like his affection for Chomsky, too. And his mention of those poor poor victims of our nukes, the Japanese. They didn't have that coming at all. Most touching is his concern for all the U.S. Americans with bad mortgages. What a hero; speaking truth to power. I'm embracing Islam as we speak.

So, how many cave-goats do you think bin Laden has made sweet love to since we last heard from him?

UPDATE: leaves a comment with , which is VERY INTERESTING.

Osama Bin Laden's widely publicized video address to the American people has a peculiarity that casts serious doubt on its authenticity: the video freezes at about 1 minute and 36 58 seconds, and motion only resumes again at 12:30. The video then freezes again at 14:02 remains frozen until the end. All references to current events, such as the 62nd anniversary of the U.S. atomic bombing of Japan, and Sarkozy and Brown being the leaders of France and the UK, respectively, occur when the video is frozen! The words spoken when the video is in motion contain no references to contemporary events and could have been (and likely were) made before the U.S. invasion of Iraq.

The audio track does appear to be in the voice of a single speaker. What I suspect was done is that an older, unreleased video was dubbed over for this release, with the video frozen when the audio track departed from that of the original video.

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Comments (24)

ErikZ :

Out of all the things I though Osama was, a hard core lefty wasn't one of them.

I'm going to love seeing him endorse a Presidential candidate.

Rupert :

As if the 72 virgins wasn't good enough...now, you'll be better able to afford them thanks to Allah's tax refund program. Six-dozen hot young girls ain't cheap, ya know!

Dos Mil Mascaras :

Ehhh...he's not a hardcore lefty. He just knows that Chomsky and those punks who follow him are useful idiots. I wonder what Chomsky thinks of the endorsement? He can play one up with Ward Churchill. "Hey Ward! Guess what? This pig-fucking Jihad Monkey think's I'm among the most capable! Put that in the ol' peace pipe and smoke it!"

:

OBL asks an aide to bring him a cave-goat to help relieve his pent-up urges.

"But Osama," protests the aide, "what about the smell?"

Osama replies, "They'll get used to it."

:

Baaaaa! Oh wait, that's a sheep.

;-P

:

I'm still not buying that he's alive. The CIA coincidentally started declaring his Best Of The Cave Hits as "authentic" right when they decided as an organization that their goal was to get a Democrat elected in 2004, and I think the whole thing has sort of snowballed, despite the analysis looking pretty grim.

The problem is, if Bin Laden is dead, then he's probably been that way for almost six years and his cause of death was probably "atomization," making it difficult to prove or disprove.

I fully expect him to assume Elivs/Hitler/Jack Ruby status by the time I reach middle age.

:

What's that old muslim saying? I think it goes something like--

For children, you need a woman.

For pleasure, you need a young boy.

For ecstacy, you need a goat...

N. O'Brain :

Did Osama just throw his turban into the Democratic ring?

:

Wow. Whenever we want to accuse leftists of being useful idiots, now all we have to do is say "Roll video!"

ChicagoCindy :

Have you seen the still-shot from the video of this imbecile? His hair and beard are jet-black, unlike the gray of earlier tapes. He has a freakin' STYLIST, or at least hair dye, in them there mountains?! WTF?

:

Have you seen the video? He looks about 10 years younger today than he did 3 years ago!

It's also just a picture of him. There's no actual movement. I'm guessing he's dead.

:

HurricaneMikey - 10!

rickl :

I heard Sean Hannity reading Bin Laden's statement today on the radio. Is the ANY leftist talking point he didn't hit?

On the other hand, he also said that there are no taxes in Islam. So he's apparently trying to appeal to conservatives as well.

All he has to do now is praise talk radio and country music, and he'll have all of the bases covered. :)

rickl :

Oh, and I think he's been a red stain on a cave wall for at least five years now. When I see a picture of him holding a copy of today's newspaper, then maybe I'll change my mind.

On the other hand, even that could well be Photoshopped.

Frazetta_girl :

He's dead, Jim.

KathyP :

That tax rate is 2.5% for 'true' believers/converts. For us infidels it's probably more like 70% or more (that is, if we have anything to tax). No, thanks. My dodge 1500 bumper sticker says 'I will not submit.' It replaced the one that said "Bush/Cheney, integrity restored." I like the new one better.

Rickbert :

Interesting how Bin Laden and his lackeys are quick to recite the Daily Kos talking points while Daily Kos calls conservative Republicans the 'taliban wing' of their party. Ok, a 2.5% flat tax would seem to be a Republican talking point.

And as for putting Noam Chomsky and 'most capable' in the same sentence, I ... er... heh... heh heh... Bwaaahaha! Sorry, I can't even type with a straight face on that one.

:

The answer is 72, Rachl Lukis. 72 goats.

rick :

Hey, he's not kiddin'. I got my mortgage from the Al Quaida Credit Union. Only 2.5% interest, but my wife has to dress like a bee-keeper and if you miss a payment, they cut off your left hand. Jes' sayin'.

:

72 goats! But they're virgin goats....

tedders :

Where do you get virgin wool from.

Really ugly sheep!!

tedders :

Why do Arabs wear robes?

Because sheep can hear a zipper a mile away!!

:

...all funny ha ha.

At 61 my memory isn't what it used to be, but I don't remember an enemy parroting the political opposition's talking points so closely, not even during Vietnam.

I don't think this will get that much play in the MSM...

Can't have Mr. and Ms. America noticing the similarities, can we?

:

Perhaps a forgery?

Via

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